Forefather Merit and Being Non-judgmental

Parshat Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

by Rabbi Avi Billet

In describing the Yom Kippur service, the Torah tells us that “With this shall Aharon enter the Holy, with a bull that is ‘ben bakar’ as a sin offering, and a ram as a burnt offering.” (16:3)

Elsewhere the term ben bakar (lit ‘child of cattle’) is used to distinguish the age of an animal. For example an “eigel” (calf) is less than a year old, while an “eigel ben bakar” is a little older.

When the term “par “ (bull) is utilized, however, the term ‘ben bakar’ would seem superfluous in the sense of defining age, simply because a bull is by definition an adult animal.

But the greater question is what is this verse telling us as far as what Aharon brings with him into the Holy? Many commentaries jump on the opening word of the verse, “b’zot” (with this), noting that the Hebrew word has a gematria (numerical value) of 410 which is how long the first Temple stood. Aharon carries with him the merit of the first Temple.

Ramban quotes a Midrash that Aharon brings with him the merit of “Zot,” a word used to describe many other mitzvoth and qualities, all based on the utilization of the word “zot” throughout the Bible. The merits he carries with “zot” include: the Torah (Devarim 4:44), the Covenant of Circumcision (Bereshit 17:10), Shabbos (Isaiah 56:2), Jerusalem (Exekiel 5:5), the tribes (Bereshit 49:28), Judah ((Devarim 33:7), the Congregation of Israel (Song of Songs 7:8), Terumah (donations) (Shmot 25:3), Tithes (Malachi 3:10), and the merit of the offerings in general.

So why the bull and the ram? After all, we learned in Parshat Shmini that Aharon brought a calf as a sin-offering at the time of the dedication of the Mishkan, and many connect his calf offering there as meaning to bring atonement for his involvement in making the Golden Calf.

Considering, as Kli Yakar notes, that Aharon’s involvement in the Golden Calf episode was mild – he helped fashion the calf, but never worshiped it, danced before it, or honored it any way – one would think that his calf sin-offering at that time would suffice! And yet, some want to make the connection that the bull is the father of the calf, and Aharon must atone on Yom Kippur for the sin yet again, utilizing the father.

Alshikh has a different view, owing to the reality of the experience of the Kohen Gadol, and the burden he truly carries on his shoulders on Yom Kippur. He is representing everyone and therefore needs all the help he can get.

When we think about the time period of the High Holidays, one of the main themes of Remembrance is our asking God to remember the merit of the forefathers.

So Alshikh recalls how when Avraham hosted the 3 malachim (angels/messengers of God), he fed them ‘ben bakar.’ And when Yitzchak was bound on the altar at the top of Mt. Moriah, a ram was ultimately offered in his place.  (Kli Yakar actually recalls all this and also notes that Yaakov brought two goats to his mother to prepare for Yitzchak to eat before receiving the 'stolen' blessings)

We often tend to whitewash our own deeds and see ourselves in the right. Most of us would probably justify everything we do that is questionable, where our judgment may not have been top-notch, when our choice in retrospect or in hindsight was not the best. If we could only look back at the things we did with unbiased eyes, we would see a very different picture than the one we paint with our personal rose-colored glasses.

As such, we need the merit of the forefathers, because we know who they were and we know how God perceived and continues to perceive them. Reminding Him of them in our own words and deeds, is only to our benefit.

Which leads me to a very simple observation. We are never judgmental of ourselves. We don’t even need the merit of the forefathers to excuse our bad behaviors. So why are we so judgmental of others? Why do we have such trouble giving people a second chance, perhaps through the merit of our shared forefathers?

You Go, and You Go Too

Parshat Vaychi

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Yosef is sworn to bury Yaakov in the land of Canaan at the very beginning of the Torah portion. (47:29-30) After he blesses his sons and gives them his final messages, Yaakov instructs all of his sons to bury him in the Me’arat Hamachpela, the burial plot where his wife, parents and grandparents are buried. (49:29-32)

                

With the promise of Yosef, second in command of Egypt, that he’ll be buried in the family plot in Canaan, why does he feel the need to instruct his sons as well?

                

Ramban posits that Yaakov was concerned that Yosef would not be given permission to go due to his position.

                

As it turns out, after his father dies, Yosef seems unable to speak with Pharaoh directly, to get the permission needed to go. He appeals to “Beit Paroh” (the Household of Pharaoh), asking them to beseech the king, on account of the promise he made to his father.

                

Pharaoh’s response is telling; “Go up and bury your father, to fulfill that which he made you swear," he says, suggesting, as many note, that without the promise, it is questionable whether that permission would have been granted. 

                

More simply, Ibn Ezra explains that he was merely commanding his sons to accompany Yosef. He doesn’t ask for any response from them and he doesn’t get any response from them. He essentially commands them, and then he dies.

                

Along similar lines, Or HaChaim says, “He didn’t want them to think that he only obligated Yosef alone to accompany him to burial, and so he commanded all of them to be involved. He didn’t need to have them swear, because they will all fulfill his word.”

                

These answers are satisfactory on one level, but when we consider the concern the brothers seemed to have for Yaakov when Binyamin was in trouble at the end of Parshat Miketz and in last week’s parsha, wouldn’t it seem obvious that they’d all want to go to their father’s funeral?

                

Clearly Yaakov was not convinced that they’d all want to go. Yosef may have needed an oath to grant him leave from his position, but what was tying the brothers to Egypt that Yaakov felt would hold them back from participating in his funeral were it not for his dying wish that they accompany his body on its final journey?

                

The brothers obviously had no political roles which prevented them from leaving. Were that the case, Yaakov would have had to make them swear as well. So what did it – what caused Yaakov to need to give his sons instructions to go?

                

The only things that have demonstrably changed since last week’s parsha are that the family has moved to Egypt (and all that comes with adjusting to a new location, culture, and society), Yosef has been reintroduced to the family life, Yaakov has started to play favorites again (see how he has claimed Ephraim and Menashe as replacements for Reuven and Shimon), and he has given his sons his last will and blessings.

                

Maybe they loved Egypt so much. On the other hand, maybe the uprooting, the favoring Yosef and his children, and the (in some cases) not-exactly blessings caused the old animosities to creep back into the family. We know Yaakov spent the first 17 years of Yosef’s life favoring Yosef, and now we see he spent the last 17 years of his own life favoring Yosef once again.

                

Maybe, in the heat of the final moments, between the blessings that may have been misunderstood (or understood all too well) along with the thought that “Our brothers will go. What’s the big deal if a couple of us stay behind?” – after all, it’s a long journey, a long time to leave the wives and children alone, and without Yosef’s protection – maybe some were feeling not so close to Yaakov. Maybe they felt, “I put in my time taking care of the old man. I’m done. I’ll sit shiva, but I won’t make the trek to Canaan.”

                

Yaakov was teaching his sons that a father is a father. And that no matter what you’re thinking, no matter what baggage you carry, no matter how much you like or don’t like your father’s final message – you still have to honor your father in his final journey.

                

Life has its challenges. Hopefully when it ends for the loved ones in our lives – after 120 years! – we will be able to put any negativity behind us, and embrace our responsibilities to care for the dead, and be there for their final journey*, wherever they are to be buried. 

* (Personal health and financial circumstances notwithstanding, of course)

B'Terem - The Drama of Immediacy

Parshat Vayigash

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The word “Terem” or “B’Terem” (‘just before’) appears in the Torah close to twenty times, sometimes serving as a dramatic preposition enhancing a narrative tale, setting the stage for the unfolding drama that is most riveting.

                

“Terem” Lot’s guests  were to retire for the night, the people of Sedom gathered at Lot’s house. (19:4) “Terem” Avraham’s servant finished speaking his condition/prayer, Rivkah emerged. (24:15,45)

                

Yitzchak instructed Eisav to prepare food for him, so the son could earn a blessing “B’terem” his father dies. (27:4) Yitzchak finished eating Yaakov’s food and completed his encounter with Yaakov “B’terem” Eisav returned with his prepared meal. (27:33)

                

The brothers saw Yosef from a distance, and b’terem his arrival, they plotted to murder him. (37:18)

                

Yosef’s two sons were born b’terem the famine years arrived. (41:50) Perhaps the drama here comes in the added drive given to Yosef to succeed in his food storage endeavors – the survival of his children.

                

Finally, in our parsha, when Yaakov learns that Yosef is alive, he declares “I will go and see him b’terem I die.” (48:28)

                

Judging from Yitzchak’s estimation of his own death, we can see that while the premonition of death runs in the family, the estimation of time until departure is typically way off. Yitzchak lived another 57 years, and it will turn out that Yaakov will live another 17 years.

                

So why did these men think they were going to die? Rashi says (27:2) that when one gets to within 5 years of the age of death of a parent, one needs to begin setting one’s house in order. It is a good litmus test for one’s survival. Since Sarah lived to 127, Yitzchak’s mortality radar started blinking at 123.

            

The Midrash also tells us in a number of places (see Tosafot Yevamot 61b) that Rivkah lived as long as Kehat. Since he lived to 133 (Shmot 6:18), clearly Yaakov’s mortality radar screen was similarly blinking when he was 130.

                

But is that really what’s on his mind? He seems a lot more pessimistic than merely thinking about his mother’s age of demise when confronted with his age-question by the curious Pharaoh.  (47:8)

                

Considering that Yaakov has thought Yosef to be dead for 22 years, it was never his intention to hold out on giving up on life until he saw Yosef again. So what is a proper explanation for his stating “I will see Yosef b’terem I die.”  Clearly he thinks he is about to die for other reasons, and seeing Yosef is now going to be a bonus in what has otherwise been, in his own words to Pharaoh, “'The days of my life have been few and hard.” (47:9)

                

Some of the commentaries say Yaakov meant, “Though my years have not even come close to those of my father and grandfather, it’s been a rough life.” Radak takes this to mean that Yaakov was worn out. He felt weak and had a premonition that his days were numbered.

                

Yaakov was a man of truth. And the truth is that he suffered from the debilitating mind-game that overtakes people who have given up on life. I had a conversation this week with someone whose father recently passed away, and he told me that his father was an avid traveler who never thought about how old he was until he had a mind-shift that told himself, “I’m old.” This man felt that as soon as his father focused on his turning 90, that was the beginning of the end. He told me of a woman he knows who is 107, but lives every day to the max. Her age is not a focus of her existence. Because her focus is on her life, and not on how much closer she is to the grave.  This was certainly true of Alice Herz-Sommer, the pianist Holocaust survivor  (subject of the documentary “The Lady in Number 6”) (see embedded video at the end), who passed away this past February at age 110. What an amazing attitude she had – her age was irrelevant to her.

                

The drama unfolded by the word “B’terem” shows us that Yaakov was literally at death’s door. He had sold himself down the river. He was done with life. But the news of Yosef’s success gave him a new sense of purpose, so much so that he didn’t even realize that he had given himself a new lease on life. In 45:27 we see that Yaakov’s spirit was revived. And in 45:28, he still thinks he’s about to die.

                

But the shift has reversed itself. Yaakov, in his heart, and perhaps in his mind as well, is looking forward to seeing Yosef. Looking forward to hearing the story, whatever story he’ll hear. Looking forward to meeting any grandchildren he may have. But as he’s making the shift, he has the sense of urgency, the sense of immediacy, that death will come very soon on account of every other factor of life that has brought him to this point.

                

The hope is that all people in that later stage of life can tap into an urgency of finding amazing things to live for. The mind game that says that at 75,80,90,100 “I’m just getting started!” can hopefully provide a very necessary ingredient and attitude (and “chiyus!”) that will lead to good health and mindset as seniors embrace the different stages of the second half of life.

Fear of the Unknown

Parshat Vayishlach

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Yaakov sends messengers to Eisav telling Eisav his story about having lived with Lavan and having amassed wealth. Perhaps Yaakov is indicating his intent to put the past behind them. “I am happy to share my wealth with you, and I hope you are well. I am your servant." It could be Yaakov hopes not to see Eisav at all.

The messengers come back with the news that “we ‘came’ to your brother, to Eisav, and he is ‘going’ to you accompanied by 400 men.” Alshikh explains “coming” implies closeness – how Yaakov’s servants intended to approach Eisav - while “going” implies distance, perhaps indicating the attitude Eisav was bringing to his encounter with Yaakov.

Where was Eisav coming from? Some suggest he was at home, with no intent to come until he heard Yaakov was on his way (Sforno, Ibn Ezra) But what was his intent? This is unclear: he’s simply “coming” (Ramban); he’s coming to fight because he hates you (Rashi and many others); he is happy about your return and is bringing 400 men to honor you (Rashbam, Chizkuni).

Certainly the indication of the verse is that Rashbam and Chizkuni are correct, and that the fear of battle was all in Yaakov’s mind. The encounter certainly includes no ill intentions, Eisav greets Yaakov warmly with hug and kiss, as he is gracious and magnanimous.

Why then was Yaakov afraid?

He may have been fearful for his life, or as Rashi, etc suggest, he had a concern either that he would be killed, or that he'd be forced to take a life in self-defense.

But the man had been promised by God that He would protect him and return him home safely! Where is Yaakov's faith in God?

If Adino HaEtzni (Shmuel II 23:8) killed 800 men by himself! Yaakov, who fought with an angel, is afraid of 400 men?! (R Chaim Paltiel)

The Midrash tells in the name of Resh Lakish and Rav Yanai that each of the 400  men was a “man” like Eisav – in charge of 400 men each. This suggests he had at least 160,000 people. This is reason to fear.

There are other suggestions of why Yaakov feared: Eisav had merits from honoring his father, Yaakov hadn’t fulfilled his promise to tithe in Beit El, or what Toldot Yitzchak suggests, that if Eisav seems to be coming to attack Yaakov, it must mean Yitzchak is dead. The fear that Yaakov is then experiencing is that he will never see his father again.

Of course, the most likely reason for Yaakov's fear follows that of the Chizkuni – the fear comes from the unknown – Yaakov did not know if Eisav's intentions are good or bad.

And this confusion is noted in Yaakov's language when he says, “Please save me from my brother, from Eisav” meaning, he is pretending to be my brother, but he remains Eisav the hunter and trapper.

I don't think we have to look at Yaakov's fear from the perspective of the numbers. On paper Goliath should have defeated David. On paper Israel should not have defeated Arab armies in most of the wars they fought. And yet, the unexpected happened, and the underdog survived the conflicts.

Fear doesn't come from numbers. It comes from the unknown.

Eisav may have nice intentions. And maybe, in the end, the niceness comes out. But the bottom line is that it cannot be assumed. Preparation needs to be made for the worst. Because, too often, the worst turns out to be the reality. Eisav, unfortunately, is unpredictable. We don't know what he is thinking.

We may be “coming” with love and with the dove of peace, but Eisav may still be “going” to his own destination, irrespective of where we stand on that journey.

When random people are murdered or stabbed in Israel simply because the attackers view all Jews as aggressors who deserve this physical assault, the fear that emerges from those at a bus station or a train station is that of the unknown. Will anything happen today?

Yaakov needs to carry his fears, because he does not know what his adversary is thinking or has going for him: the other side may be more worthy in the eyes of God, maybe we haven’t kept our promises to God, maybe we’ve strayed so far from our Father in Heaven that he is “dead” to us. We must take precautions that these not become true for us. Recommit to God, keep our word.

For the sake of survival, our brothers and sisters in Israel and around the world surely must subscribe to the fear Rashi ascribes to Yaakov, “That I will be forced to kill someone in self-defense” – as Golda Meir articulated when she said, “We can forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but we can’t forgive them for forcing us to kill their sons.”

But the rule of “when one comes to kill you, you must rise to kill him first” is essential for survival. Without it, we are all sitting ducks.

The Kli Yakar summarized Yaakov’s thought process: "May Hashem be with me and protect me from those who show themselves to be helpers and loved ones but who truly have hatred embedded in their hearts."

Facing the unknown can be frightening, even for the God-fearing, and even for those who are righteous in their ways. But when we feel those we encounter harbor hatred in their hearts, it becomes our challenge, like Yaakov, to be prepared for the worst, while we continue to hope for the best. 

Yaakov's Thanksgiving Meals

Parshat Vayetze

by Rabbi Avi Billet

In the aftermath of a horrific tragedy in Israel, a letter composed by widows of the murdered gave comfort to so many because they have a life-focus that appreciates the role God plays in their lives.

Combine that focus with a nod to Thanksgiving, and we proceed.

            
While the meals in the book of Bereshit share a common theme of thanksgiving – Avraham and Lot are appreciative of their guests, Avraham celebrates his son’s birth, Yitzchak makes peace with Avimelekh, and tries to celebrate his relationship Eisav when sending him to prepare a meal – Yaakov’s meals are a little more suspect.

            
Some argue that the meal served to Eisav was acelebratory meal to seal the deal over what was a cash purchase of the birthright. We assume Yaakov partakes of the meal at his wedding. And he eats with Lavan when they part ways at the end of our parsha.

            
Perhaps the first one can be viewed as a thanksgiving. But can we say the same for the wedding and the meal with Lavan?  There is a “Mishteh” celebration at his marriage to Leah, but none when he marries Rachel. Why?

             
The Midrash Sechel Tov explains that there was only fare at Leah’s celebration because Lavan had “bought” the guests. Everyone knew he was a trickster. No one wanted to come. But he reminded them that they had been blessed with water ever since Yaakov’s arrival (recall the stone on the well episode). He therefore planned to marry Leah to him first to preserve his presence in Aram. He convinced everyone to give gifts so Yaakov would think all was legitimate, and then he took the gifts and sold them to pay for the drinks of the “mishteh” [Avraham made a “mishteh gadol” – which implies more than just drinks – just like Achashveirosh in the story of Esther.] The Toldos Yitzchak claims that Lavan was cheap, and “only” served drinks, while the Daas Zekenim suggested Lavan’s plan was to get Yaakov drunk so he would not notice Leah was standing where Rachel should have been.

            
If Lavan was so cheap, why have the party at all? Because, Malbim explains, Lavan needed people to agree to the "rule" he was making up that the older daughter marries first. He had never mentioned it before because it was made up to justify his behavior. And with everyone around agreeing, Yaakov would never suspect such a public rouse.

            
This is why there was no celebratory meal after the marriage to Rachel. Yaakov was stuck in Lavan-town for another seven years. That’s nothing for him to celebrate. And there was no way people were going to contribute again to help Lavan make a second party. They had participated in a sham celebration as a charade, had already given their gifts, and didn’t even get food to show for their gift. There was no real celebration.

            
The meal Yaakov shares with Lavan, after telling Lavan why he finds him to be despicable is more of the sealing of a cold-peace between nations that hate each other but just don’t want to fight anymore.

            
Yaakov invites them, as Radak says, “So they can eat together to remember their treaty, just before they part ways.”

            
Lavan leaves in the morning. We never hear from him again. How did he feel? Was he at peace? Or was he stewing over the peace he was coerced into making? We don't know. But we do know that he is out of the picture, and as far as we know he doesn't cross the line he agrees never to cross.

            
Is it a celebration for Yaakov? Is it really a Thanksgiving meal?

            
In a sense it is! Lavan agrees never to bother Yaakov again, and as far as we know, he doesn't! Whether he is upset about how it went down – he remains out of the picture and he and Yaakov have peace between them!

            
Every Thanksgiving is an opportunity for us to express our gratitude for the good in our lives, and for the existence we can enjoy if we put the past behind us and move on with our lives. We don't forget the past, but we move on with the status quo. Or we try to improve the status quo with the materials and opportunities that lie before us.

            
Lavan didn't like what he had to hear, but he did recognize that Yaakov had a right to move on with his life and that after 20 years of struggling with one another, that it was time to move on.

            
When real peace was made, Yaakov was so ready to let bygones be bygones that he viewed all his adversaries as his "brothers." For Yaakov, this was a real Thanksgiving. A real blessing. He was now in charge of his own destiny and Lavan would never stand in his way again.

            
The State of Israel deals with Lavan on a regular basis. Lavan says “everything you have and worked for is mine mine mine.” Lavan cares more that Yaakov suffer than he cares to look in his own backyard to address the suffering of his people that is in his hands to prevent or deal with.

            
When Lavan has to go out on his own and create his own destiny, he can use his experience to make his life better. The ball is in his court.

            
Until today’s Lavans decide to acknowledge the celebratory meal of peace, and, if need be, live a cold-peace just because “none of us want to fight anymore,” the objective we yearn for will not be achieved. And it will be Lavan’s fault.

Just as the forefathers had their Thanksgiving meals celebrating specific events, we too have Thanksgiving and God in our lives to be thankful for. We mourn for lost life. But we continue to look forward to the day when Thanksgiving is not just a once a year celebration, but a year-round celebration for the eternal peace that will one day settle upon the Holy Land.

Aftermath of Har Nof Terrorist Attack

I received a tremendous amount of good feedback for this speech. And much encouragement to post it to this blog. While I certainly don't have answers, and I continue to mourn with klal yisrael, if anyone finds comfort from these words, that is a blessing. 

Toldos: A Time To Mourn, a Time to Live

          This has been a very difficult week. For all of us. There were more people attacked yesterday. Who knows what today will bring?

          Who would ever think that just going to shul, a normal procedure for many of us on a daily basis, could become an act that we might associate with a horrifying tragedy? (so many possible links...)

          We must all take, teach and spread an important language lesson.

          When Jews are murdered because they are Jews, we don’t record with “profound sorrow” their passing. We don’t mourn the “death” of the deceased. And we certainly don’t say ברוך דיין האמת.

          We record with “horrifying pain” their murder. We mourn for the “evil crime perpetrated” against the murdered  and against all of כלל ישראל – we cry with their families, with 25 orphans, with tens of grandchildren who no longer have grandfathers, with 4 unexpectant widows. And with all of אחינו בני ישראל. And instead of Blessing the Dayan HaEmet, the true judge, we cry out HASHEM YINKOM DAMAM. May GOD AVENGE THEIR BLOOD!! That their murderers are dead is fitting. But their damage is done. And most sadly, it cannot be undone.

          I have a very hard time swallowing the idea that these murders are brought about by a דיין האמת. I believe terrorists have free will, and they behave independent of the Will of the דיין האמת. It’s a struggle to consider that life and death are written on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur – is this really what God had in mind?

          We also mourn for a police officer – Zidan Sayif. Not a Jew. But an Israeli hero nonetheless. Who gave his life to save his fellow Israelis. Rav Ovadiah Yosef, Z”L in one of his later teshuvos – when asked if a prayer could be said in a synagogue for a Druze soldier who was killed in the line of duty in defense of the State of Israel – wrote the following:

          The Druze believe in one God. They are not idolators. They believe in the concept of the soul. They enlist in the IDF, and put their lives on the line to protect the citizens of Israel. They abide by the 7 Noachide laws. They are included in the righteous gentiles of the world. ABSOLUTELY PRAY FOR THEM.

          As one headline I saw said, “Israel’s latest hero isn’t even Jewish.”

          So let us save the blessings for the Dayan HaEmet for when He in His own ways ends a life. But when Jews are murdered, we MUST MUST MUST CALL EVIL FOR WHAT IT IS, AND DEMAND OF GOD TO ENACT VENGEANCE AGAINST MURDERERS and those who send them to perform their despicable acts. Just as we say for victims of the Holocaust, Hashem Yinkom Damam, and we say Y’mach Sh’mam V’Zichram about their murderers, the same appelations apply to victims of terrorist aggression and those who perpetrate the same. Who “excuse” their barbaric behavior as a “natural response to the occupation.” There is nothing natural about the use of meat cleavers and machetes. Any human being who excuses this kind of behavior has no credibility and no shred of humanity.

          My sister shared with me a note written by the widows of (Hashem Yinkom Damam) Rabbis Kalman Levine, Moshe Twersky, Aryeh Kopinsky, Mr. Avraham Goldberg,  imploring ALL OF ACHEINU BNEI YISRAEL to dedicate this Shabbos, Parshas Toldos, as a יום של אהבת חינם. A Day Of Baseless Love for our Fellow Jews. Charging us to avoid senseless quibbles, speaking lashon hara and rechilus – gossip and slander. Speaking ill of one another. I am sure this is something we can all do, as they put it – as an עילוי נשמת the souls of their murdered husbands, fathers, grandfathers.

          It shouldn’t take tragedy or a response to tragedy for us ALL to commit to this. But at least for today, let us honor this request.

          In our parsha today we read of two instances where someone was fearful for his life – each responded to the concern in a different way.

          Yitzchak was worried that if people found out he was married that they would kill him and take his wife as the prize.

          Rivkah was worried that Eisav would make good on his promise to kill Yaakov after having lost his intended bracha through seeming deception.

          Yitzchak lived amongst his enemies after discovering the threat to his life, and eventually moved to a town not too far away. Yaakov chose to run away, to let time heal the wounds, so that when he would eventually return, bygones would be bygones.

          The eventual confrontation, in both cases, went surprisingly well.

          In our parsha, after Yitzchak is first given asylum, then thrown out of Gerar because of his financial success, Avimelekh finally turns to Yitzchak to make peace. After Yitzchak counters “WHY ARE YOU HERE – YOU HATE ME?” Avimelekh explains his reasoning because, as he puts it, רָאוֹ רָאִינוּ כִּי־הָיָה יְקֹוָק עִמָּךְ. We see God is with you.

          In Parshas Vayishlach, if you ignore the Midrash for a moment, we see that Eisav is more than cordial at his reunion with Yaakov. He even appears to be magnanimous – telling Yaakov he doesn’t need the gifts Yaakov gave him, inviting Yaakov to live with him in Seir. It’s an incredible twist from what we’d expect.

          What happened? Why would these sworn enemies make peace? Did they get religion? Avimelekh mentions God. Eisav says יש לי רב – which probably doesn’t really mean “I got me a rabbi.”

          I think that for both of these men, TIME gave them the element of perspective. Avimelekh was able to see that fighting with Yitzchak was not to his benefit. If the Jew was successful financially and would only be contributing to his nation’s economy, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to expel him from [Spain, Portugal, England, Germany, Palestine, Israel...] Gerar.

         

          Eisav took an honest assessment of his assets 20 years after Yaakov left and saw he had a significant family, his nation was well under way in its formation, and he had actually done well financially. He owed his success to the blessing he received, and of course, to his own prowess, strength and talents, which were best served at creating and building, rather than in complaining and destroying.

          The Jews in Israel are not going to move to an outskirt city – like Yitzchak did in moving to Nachal Gerar. They’re not going to leave the country, as Yaakov did in fleeing to Charan. The recognition of ראו ראינו כי היה ה עמך, and that יש לי רב have to be reached by the Arabs in the land. I believe that the policies of the State of Israel reflect that they recognize these truths about the Arabs. The Arabs aren’t going anywhere, and their religion (when practiced peacefully) is respected. But it takes two to tango. And we continue to wait for TIME to help them come around to the reality that our People are not going anywhere, and that Judaism is an honorable and peaceful religion, that Jews don’t resort to violence to make a point.

          But we will respond to provocative violence with force, because we must. As Golda Meir once put it - "I understand the Arabs wanting to wipe us out, but do they really expect us to cooperate?"

          Koheles says לכל זמן. And I think we can say that only time will tell what will be. Will the events in Har Nof be a turning point in terms of how Israel views its security concerns? Will the world recognize that they who have supported the Palestinians are on the wrong side – because this is what they are supporting?

          When CNN and the BBC can be called out over and over and over for their biased reporting on this story – equating the death of the murderers by police with the death of theirvictims, declaring the attack having taken place in a mosque, suggesting all Israelis (including babies) are like combat soldiers worthy of being targetedby terrorists in their struggle, telling Naftali Bennett that holding up apicture of a murdered Jew is offensive while they posted pictures – mostlystaged, fake, or lifted from Syrian conflicts – of dead Arabs throughout the summer – when normal media calls them out for their buffoonery and malice, this is an incredible turn. Will it be a turning point? For CNN – the Chamas News Network – probably not. But good people are taking notice.

          Most importantly, will the decent people in the Arab world take the perspective of the Druze – embrace their citizenship in Israel, be proud of their country, denounce terrorism, change their rhetoric, recognize that if they can only see what Avimelekh saw – that the Jews have lowered their infant mortality rate, have raised their life expectancy age, have improved their medical care, have brought great blessing to the Land, have made a wasteland much more than just inhabitable, have provided a free society where they can live, raise families, practice their faith and fulfill a human purpose on Earth of being a contributing member of society – will they oust the evil from within them?

          Only time will tell.

          While people who are hated are discussed in theoretical cases throughout the Torah, there are three individuals who are specifically hated using the word שנאה: Yitzchak is hated by Avimelekh. Leah feels hated as a wife. And Yosef is hated by his brothers. Before the sun sets on the book of Bereshis, all of these hatreds are resolved. Peace with Avimelekh is achieved. Yaakov has seven children with Leah and is buried with her. Yosef and his brothers reconcile.

          Hatred can lead to peace. It is possible.

          My sister who lives in Israel shared with me a nice story that perhaps is a demonstration of this: Someone she knows shared a tidbit from her morning on Thursday, when she was in a bakery in Jerusalem and noticed she was standing behind Natan Sharansky. She told him she had just cited from his book this week in a class she was teaching on Sefer Tehillim, sharing his inspiring story of how he had kept a tiny book of Tehillim with him at all times, even when he had to struggle with the authorities to get it back. At that point, Sharansky smiled, reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a tiny (palm-sized) tattered book of Tehillim. Stunned, she asked him “Do you carry that wherever you go?” Sharansky didn’t even pause and he replied “Actually, it carries me!” We know his story. For him, hatred turned to peace when he was given his freedom and he was able to emigrate.

          My father went to Israel for half a day to make shiva visits to the four families in Har Nof. His report to his children written after his visits, which he sent to us via email, began: “I visited all four families. They each received me very nicely. These are very religious people who have a lot of trust and faith in God. Therefore they have accepted God's judgment with love.”

          Their letter expresses – through very broken hearts – this love. Love of God, and love of Am Yisrael. If Sharansky is right, that his Tehillim continue to carry him, then let us tap into that truth. If we can honor the request of these incredible families and love and cherish one another, and take their model as an example of how to embrace God even in the most troubling and challenging of times, we will be doing our part to bring peace to the world. And in that merit, may the blessing achieved for Yitzchak and Yaakov in their conflicts with Avimelekh and Eisav be heaped upon all of us when the Goeil Tzedek helps God fulfill the prayer of ופרוש עלינו סכת שלומיך as the understanding of these tragedies becomes clear, and the ultimate peace for our People throughout the world is achieved.

The Son and the Grandsons

Parshat Vaychi

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The opening of our parsha contains narrative that seems inconsistent.

           
"Yaakov" lives in Egypt. But the days of "Yisrael" are getting closer to his death.

           
After asking Yosef to swear that the burial will not take place in Egypt and will take place in his family burial plot, "Yisrael" bows at the head of the bed.

           
Time passes, and Yosef is told (by…?), "Your father is sick." So he takes "his two sons with him, Ephraim and Menashe."

           
Someone (who…?) tells "Yaakov," "Your son Yosef is here." So "Yisrael" strengthens himself and sits on the bed.

Then "Yaakov" speaks to Yosef – and through what he tells Yosef it almost seems as if Menashe and Ephraim are not present. In short, Yosef is informed that his two sons will be viewed as if they are the told oldest of the 12 tribes, and that through them Yosef is receiving the double portion of the first born's rights. After saying this, "Yisrael" sees Yosef's sons and puzzlingly asks, "Who are these [people]?" before he is reminded they are his grandsons and he asks to bless them. (47:29-48:9)

There are numerous theories for the switch between Yaakov and Yisrael, what each name represents, and why each might be used in the context in which it appears. Many are interesting but most have an inconsistency or a flaw (or a stretch) that makes it not worth belaboring the point.

The problems we will zero in on surround who is telling Yosef about his father, who is telling his father about his arrival, why are we told that he took "his sons" and then it specifies "Ephraim and Menashe" (talk about stating the obvious!), and what is the role of Ephraim and Menashe until Yaakov notices their presence?

The Torah tells us Yosef took them "with him" indicating their presence should have been noted from the moment Yosef showed up, not after Yaakov has already given Yosef a blessing and instructions!

           
Many commentaries (Rashi, Ibn Ezra, Radak, Pesikta, Alshich) suggest that the one who told Yosef about his father's illness, and the one who informed his father that "Yosef is here" was the same person – The "Magid." The announcer. Rashi even suggests that his identity is unimportant because sometimes the Torah leaves out unimportant details.

           
However, Rashi also raises the possibility that the announcer is Ephraim, who spent a lot of time with Saba Yaakov (see Daat Zekenim's fascinating "proof" for the Ephraim identification). And the Midrash Sechel Tov uses a similar argument to suggest that it was Menashe who made the respective announcements to Yosef and to Yaakov.

           
In this latter approach, whether it was Ephraim or Menashe seems to be irrelevant (in the big picture), because all it means is that Yosef hears the news and takes his informer along with his other son to visit Yaakov, and the informer subsequently announces Yosef's arrival – or, as Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch notes the terms "Vayaged (and he told)" and "Vayomer (and he said)" – in order not to shock the older man, Yaakov was first told Yosef was coming, and then informed when Yosef actually arrived.

           
The Shach suggests that when "Yisrael" bowed at the head of the bed in 47:31, he was bowing before God's Divine Presence, which stayed nearby and informed him in 48:2 that Yosef was there. Netziv puts a slight twist on this idea as he suggests Yosef had sent a message that he was not coming alone – he was to bring his sons anticipating their receiving a blessing – suggesting that his father should prepare to receive the Divine Presence.

           
The Alshich focuses on the terminology of "Acharei Hadvarim Ha'Eileh" – after these things – noting how the use of the word "Acharei" instead of "Achar" indicates that the promise to bury Yaakov in Canaan distinguished Yosef and opened the door for his sons to be blessed. Much time passed between the end of chapter 47 and the beginning of chapter 48, and the promise did not directly merit the double portion gifted through Ephraim and Menashe, but it was all related.  

           
Alshich raises the possibility that it was the same Divine Presence that accompanied Yisrael's bow in 47:31 that informed Yosef that his father was sick – in other words, Yosef intuited it through Ruach HaKodesh (a divine spirit).

           
According to the Daat Zekenim, Yosef did not regularly visit his father, to avoid having the conversation about what actually transpired that wound him up in Egypt.

           
The suggestion made by Or HaChaim can help us satisfy our conundrum. He says that on the one hand "Yosef's sons" should merit a blessing on Yosef's merit, but on the other hand, Ephraim specifically and Menashe specifically each merit a blessing on his own right.

           
While it seems that Yaakov is not paying attention to the presence of the individuals Ephraim and Menashe when they show up with their father, he is aware that "Yosef's sons" (as a unit) are present. He continues to avoid the painful conversation of the fateful day when Yosef descended to Egypt, because they are not alone, and he speaks glowingly of "Yosef's sons" as if they are in absentia – because speaking of them as "Yosef's sons" is Yosef's blessing. They are only indirectly relevant to Yosef's blessing – which goes all the way to 48:16.

           
When Yaakov looks at them and calls them over, though he blesses them together (in 48:20), he is blessing Ephraim the individual and Menashe the individual.

           
We see differences in the relationships Yaakov/Yisrael had with his son versus with his grandsons. The roles of the players here indicate the truth of the statement of Mishlei 17:6, "Children's children are the crown of the aged, and the glory of the children is their fathers."

The Beer Shava Stopover

Parshat Vayigash

by Rabbi Avi BIllet

In the Torah, the city Beer Sheva appears thus named only one time (26:33). Otherwise it is always called Beer Shava. Seforno notes the difference between the vowelization of the two names of the city, while Ibn Ezra offers that when it is called Beer Sheva it might be for two reasons (based on a swear and the number seven), or, perhaps, it is a different (though similarly named) city.

When Yaakov visits Beer Shava in our parsha, he is presented as Yisrael as he offers sacrifices to the God of his father Yitzchak. God speaks "to Yisrael" in a nighttime vision, calling him "Yaakov Yaakov" saying, "I am the God of your father. Do not fear going down to Egypt, for I will turn you into a great nation there. I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will come up with you as well, and Yosef will place his hands on your eyes."

Then "Yaakov" gets up from Beer Shava, as "Bnei Yisrael" lift Yaakov their father – along with their children on wives – onto the carriages Pharaoh had sent for them.

A few questions come to mind: What is the significance of stopping in Beer Shava? Why is Yitzchak mentioned and not Avraham? Why the switch from Yaakov to Yisrael, and back again? What are we to take from the "nighttime vision"? Who will be accompanied by God in the descent to and in the ascent from Egypt? Why the promise of Yosef putting his hand over Yaakov's eyes.

Yitzchak had two prophetic experiences in Chapter 26: in the first he is told not to descend to Egypt during a famine, as his father had done before him, and the second was in Beer Shava when God told him "I am the God of your father Avraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will bless you and make your children numerous in the merit of my servant Avraham." (26:24)

In all likelihood Yaakov went to Beer Shava on account of this latter encounter (Rashbam), hoping to be the recipient of a similar blessing, and also hoping to be told not to descend to Egypt. Nonetheless, he was encouraged to complete this trip (Sechel Tov). Alternativley, Toldos Yitzchak suggests Yaakov very much wanted to go, but feared God would tell him he could not. The promise to become a great nation in Egypt, unlike the promise his father received, was so helpful in freeing him to go.

Sacrficing to the God of Yitzchak alone may be because: a person is more obligated to honor his father than his grandfather (Rashi, Midrash); since Yitzchak suffered as well over the sale of Yosef (the crying father in 37:35 refers to Yitzchak), his suffering could serve as a merit for Yaakov's own wishes to suffer no longer (Pesikta); a lament over not honoring Yitzchak for 22 years, Yaakov did not want similar treatment when being reunited with Yosef (Meshech Chokhmah).

There are many theories as to why "Yaakov" or "Yisrael" is used. As they are going down to Egypt and need strength (Yisrael) to survive, the name Yaakov is still applicable as with that name he is sometimes defeated. They come as "Bnei Yisrael" because they will multiply in numbers and eventually be redeemed. But Yaakov the man is the one who is going descending to slavery. (Ramban)

The nighttime vision is unique to Yaakov and takes place when he is on the cusp of leaving the land (see 28:11-16). The message is that even in nighttime, in the darkness of exile, God's Shechinah dwells amongst Israel. (Meshech Chokhmah)

God promised that He'd go down with and take Yaakov out of Egypt. Yaakov did not want to become a slave. So he was told he personally wouldn't be there that long. (Or HaChaim). He received the promise that his children would not be enslaved during his lifetime either. (Sechel Tov)

Of course, Yaakov knew from the moment he purchased the birthright that exile was the price for getting the blessing promised to Avraham. Never having anticipated that the strange land was going to be Egypt, he feared for the moral decay of his family to the point they'd never be able to get out. God promised him that if necessary, He would take them out early, before it is too late. (Beis HaLevi)

The promise of going down to Egypt included different features.

The language is "I will go with you" as opposed to "I am bringing you down." (Rabbenu Bachaye) He is literally counted as the 70^th soul because the family actually totals 69. (Daat Zekenim) This is what the Kli Yakar calls a "Yeridas HaShechinah," a descent of the divine presence.

A double language is utilized to promise the ascent from Egypt: I will bring you up (your sons will bury you) and I will bring your children up (eventually) (Sechel Tov, Radak); not only will you be brought up, but all of your sons will merit burial outside of Egypt too (R Chaim Paltiel); the double language of ascent refers to to Eretz Yisrael and to the World to Come. One is a physical ascent, and one is an ascent of the soul (Rabbenu Bachaye).

The promise that Yosef would place his hands on Yaakov's eyes has different meanings.

We know from the death of Rachel (and elsewhere) that a throwaway comment in the Torah sometimes turns out to be a prophesy. Perhaps Yaakov was being promised that the comment he made when he thought Yosef was dead "that he would go down to the grave mourning for his son" (37:35) would not be fulfilled. As the Baal Haturim notes, God was showing Yaakov that Yosef would not die in Yaakov's lifetime. As Rashbam hints to (Baba Batra 108a) Yaakov was receiving a two-part blessing here: that he would outlive Yosef, and that Yosef has children who count as part of Yaakov's family of 70.

Other possibilities include: Yosef will close your eyes when you die; Yosef will take care of those upon whom you have your eye – your children and grandchildren… long after you die (Radak); "Einekha" (your eyes) means "Inyanekha" – he'll take charge of your affairs (Chizkuni); or, most practically, you won't have to keep your eye on all of your belongings when you get to Egypt, because Yosef will make sure everything gets to you (nothing will be stolen) (Seforno)

The stop in Beer Shava, therefore, is highly significant. It is meant to serve as a reflection of a spiritual encounter his father had, and it is meant to sway or counter many fears Yaakov has over being the "one" who is beginning the actual descent to the strange land promised to Avraham. Avraham's experience is not noted because Yaakov serves as his spiritual heir – and perhaps Yaakov even latches on to whatever merits his father had, as a man who suffered in his life, and as a man who never left Eretz Yisrael – a place to which Yaakov desperately wishes to one day return, whether in life or in death or through his descendants.

The promises he receives from God set a stage for the promises the people will one day remember: that we may become slaves, but there is a promise for redemption. We may fall into moral depravity, but God will not let us disappear into a murky existence from which redemption is impossible.

For us, we look to the words of the Midrash that the Final Redemption will mimic the first redemption (from Egypt) in all ways, except that the Final Redemption will not be preempted by slavery. We therefore hope that all the promises made to Yaakov in Beer Shava will one day be fulfilled again, as we experience an end to the (long) night in which Yaakov received his vision - a promise for a bright future when God will once again accompany us all up to the land He promised to our forefathers.

Of Faith (and Animals)

Parshat Vayishlach

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Yaakov is on his return journey, homeward bound for the first time in either 22 or 36 years. His mother is dead (though he does not yet know that), and he is unsure of his status with his brother. Has he been forgiven?

            

He sends one group of messengers to Eisav with a warm greeting, "I've been away for awhile. I have made a decent living. I'm coming home – I hope I've found favor in your eyes."

            

The response is that Eisav is approaching with 400 men. (See also here on the number 400)

            

Not knowing his intent, Yaakov sends an appeasement gift to Eisav, which includes "200 she-goats, 20 he-goats, 200 female sheep and 20 rams." (32:15)

            

There were other animals as well, such as the 30 nursing camels who were either accompanied by their children (1 each) or by their male counterparts (many commentaries address the strange terminology in the verse), as well as 40 cows to 10 bulls, 20 she-donkeys and 10 he-donkeys.

            

The verse about the she-goats etc is unique, according to Rabbi Meir of Rothenberg (Maharam), because it is one of only two verses in the entire Torah in which all of the words end with a Final Mem.

            

The other verse is in Parshat Pinchas, Bamidbar 29:33, which describes a portion of the sacrifices of the 7^th day of Sukkot.

            

Maharam explains the parallel between these two unique verses.

            

God had promised Yaakov not to fear Eisav nor any other human being. By sending this gift to Eisav, he is demonstrating a lack of faith in God to the tune of 550 animals. This waste of animals is going to be the source for a payment Yaakov's descendants will have to make yearly to demonstrate their own faith in God.

The verse in Bamidbar is right before the obligations of Shmini Atzeret, so the korbanot of Shmini Atzeret do not count in the "payment."

How are there 550 korbanot? 2 for every Shabbos (52) is 104 animals. 11 for every Rosh Chodesh (12) is 132 animals. The animals for all of the holidays not including Shmini Atzeret account for the remaining 314 of the 550.

There is another approach to counting the animals. There are 2 animal sacrifices every day of the year (which they count as 360 days based on 12 months of 30 days each) equaling 720 animals. The korbanot of Rosh Chodesh and the holidays add up to 440. All together there are 1160 communal sacrifices.

Add up all the animals Yaakov sent – including the interpretation that there were in fact 60 camels – the nursing mothers and either their sons or their mates – and you have 580 animals. Double that number and you have 1160.

And so, according to the Maharam, Yaakov's punishment for his lack of faith gesture of offering Eisav 580 animals was that his descendants had to pay double that as offerings to God on a yearly basis.

As Rabbi Ephraim Buchwald of the National Jewish Outreach Program (NJOP) famously explained in his Crash Course in Basic Judaism, the tenet of Belief is a little different than Knowledge. When a person knows something, there is no doubt in one's mind. There is a fact, it can be proven, demonstrated, etc.

But "Belief" in its very nature carries with it a snippet of doubt. I believe this very much. But… I might be wrong. I can't prove it.

One can argue Yaakov had no excuse. He was a prophet. God communicated directly to him. God told him everything would be alright. While we certainly teach that one should not rely on a miracle, and one should make one's efforts, but Yaakov's approach seemed to disregard a direct promise. Some even interpret his fight with the angel as meaning to remind him that he is not supposed to even prepare to run from Eisav because everything will be alright. Either his wound prevents him from fleeing, or his victory over an angel demonstrates that he can certainly defeat Eisav.

We, on the other hand, don't have the luxury of God speaking to us in dreams and making promises. The promises were made a long time ago, and we are certainly left with a choice. We can abandon everything and say it's all nonsense.

Or we can claim our faith, declare our beliefs, and recognize that while we all have difficult moments and may even question why we do what we do, we can always fall back on the notion that we are the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, who knew what they knew and lived the way they lived, so their descendants could one day experience Revelation and receive the Torah at Sinai.

And, of course, we believe the promises for the future have yet to be fulfilled – but will be fulfilled!

In the scheme of things, maybe our People got off easy with the punishment for Yaakov's lapse of faith. Double the amount of animals he wasted on Eisav as payment to God in the Temple.

Can we afford the punishment for the lack of faith and belief that is so prevalent today? Can the blogging Apikores, and the self-hating Jews, and the online slanderers continue to only bring our People down?

Of course they can. That is what they are best at doing.

But the two Final-Mem verses remind us that events from long ago can have an impact on future generations, if all we do is exhibit a lack of faith in God.

May we be blessed to seek God in our lives, and to find and see God in as many life experiences as He makes Himself apparent.