by Rabbi Avi Billet
Rashi’s opening comment on Tazria notes how the previous parsha (Shemini) spent the entire previous chapter talking about animals, and then Tazria begins speaking of the human condition, to simply reflect the order of creation of animals and humans.
Commenting on this point, Sifsei Chachamim (Rabbi Shabbatai Bass) reminds us of several reasons given in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 38a) for why humans were made last:
1. So no one could argue that humans were partners in creation
2. If a person should ever get arrogant, he can be told “a mosquito was created before you”
3. So he could fulfill a mitzvah right away (Shabbos)
4. So he could participate in a celebratory meal right away, having arrived once everything in the world was already set.
Then he writes, “If this were the formula being used, then we should see Parshat Metzora being presented before Tazria, because Metzora speaks of a man (who was created first in Bereishis Chapter 2) while Tazria speaks of a woman! The answer is that the concept of a woman giving birth is far more frequent than a man getting Tzaraas (a nod to the principle of ...תדיר ושאינו תדיר), AND because the main reason for the spreading of tzaraas was a reckoning for a man having relations with his wife while she was in the state of Niddah.” [This concept appears in a number of rabbinic sources (See Sefer HaRokeach, Hilchos Niddah 318; Or Zarua Hilchos Retzuos Shechoros 564), sometimes claiming the tzaraas would go on their children, sometimes on the man himself, as an outcome of this sin.]
While the Gemara in Arachin 16a lists seven sins which cause tzara’as: lashon hora (slander and gossip), murder, swearing in vain, immorality, haughtiness, theft, and stinginess, and the verses in Mishlei 6:16-19 list other behaviors God detests, somehow the one deed that has captured our attention in this regard, more than any of the others, is Lashon Hora.
Much has been and written about the dangers of Lashon Hora. Mark Twain’s colleague Charles Dudley Warner is credited with saying “Everyone always talks (complains?) about the weather, but no one does anything about the weather.”
The same can be said of Lashon Hora. We talk about it, but tend not to do much about it.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter addressed the question raised in the context of Rashi’s opening comment and wryly noted that people are very careful about forbidden food, in other words what they put into their mouths, and are not careful at all about their tongues, specifically what comes out of their mouths through speech.
The proximity of these two parshas – Shemini dealing with kosher animals, and Tazria dealing with kosher human behavior – is to serve as a warning that “If a person is so careful and meticulous over what he puts into his mouth, then he certainly needs to be particularly careful about what comes out of his mouth – in terms of speech. After all, what comes out of his mouth can also spread tumah.
It is through the sin of Lashon Hora that the most tumah is spread, and therefore the practice must must stop.”
One of the methods utilized in the Talmud to help a person stop sinning is to distract oneself with wholesome activity in place of the sin. One who has lustful thoughts should fill his mind with Torah. Someone who does bad deeds should seek out opportunities to do Chesed.
Surely the same can be said for those who have a Lashon Hora problem that it is advisable to fill one’s speaking hours with positive speech. The more one engages in positive speech, the more one will avoid participating in negative speech.
Eleanor Roosevelt is generally credited as having said “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” Let us avoid being small-minded, and focus on being great-minded.
Visit with people who are lonely – ask them about their lives. Try to focus the conversations on things which give them joy to talk about. Perhaps read an article aloud and then discuss its contents. Make it into a multiple parts visit, and read a chapter of a book – making each visit an anticipated event! – and discuss the book and its contents.
In one of his articles in Peninim Al HaTorah, Rabbi Avraham Leib Scheinbaum writes this (he writes in the masculine for convenience, but it applies to all):
“We can use our lashon tov, positive speech, to make someone feel good, to calm him and raise his self-esteem. The best aspect of this is that it takes very little effort on our part to generate a positive feeling within someone else. Regrettably many of us do not have it in (ourselves) to expend even the slightest effort to help another person. We are so wrapped up in ourselves, in our lives, that we forget that others around us are crying out.“What about giving someone a compliment – telling them they look good, spoke well wrote an inspiring article, did a great job, prepared a good dinner? These are just a few examples where a few words can go a long way. Another way that positive speech can make a difference is by promoting peace between two people, two groups… Giving good advice and building someone’s self-[worth] are additional ways in which good speech helps others.“Last is the idea of praying for others…”
Many of us are familiar with the saying “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing.” I once heard a nice corollary to that. “If you have something nice to say, say it all!” After all, nothing sparks human relationships more than that which sets humans apart from animals, the ability we have to get closer to people through the positive use of our unique “כח הדיבור” – power of speech – which animals do not possess. Animals are capable of doing nice things for one another. They can also protect one another when they are attacked by a predator. But they are incapable of speaking – that is uniquely human.
Let us therefore throw in another teaching from the lead-in of animals in Shemini to the discussion surrounding humans in Tazria. Animals don’t talk about one another. Their interactions are of practical things and when they have disputes, they settle them relatively quickly and move on with their lives. They don’t harbor grudges and they don’t rally others to their side, to destroy a peer who need have no part in whatever bothers the animal in question.
So should it be for us. We should not talk about one another when it serves no purpose other than to bring another person down. We should aim to finish and resolve disputes in an efficient manner, without needing to rally people to our side. We should do what we can to lift other people up, and aim to use our power of speech for good things such as compliments, the sharing of good information, the discussion of important ideas, and most importantly for the study and teaching of Torah and for Tefillah.
I recently advised someone who is in a constant dispute with a family member to try to shift focus, and instead of getting upset all the time, to pray for that person. It may not resolve all the issues that exist between them, but it does change a perspective… “I am praying for that person… it makes it much harder for me to get upset at that person.”
This too can be a beautiful focus of using our כח הדיבור for positive speech.
