Honoring Our Past and Building Our Future (homage to Betzalel and his forebears)

Parshat Vayakhel

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

While he was introduced to us in last week’s parsha, the Midrash goes on a bit of a wild tangent over the introduction of Betzalel this week, when we meet him along with his father and grandfather and Shevet. The Midrash ties this introduction to the concept of שבח לו ולמפשחתו ולשבטו (praise for him, his family, and his tribe), for both Betzalel and Oholiav, while comparing to other characters who are introduced to us with ancestry (the megadef in Emor – שם אמו שלומית בת דברי) and Akhan - עכן בן כרמי בן זבדי בן זרח למטה יהודה, who was from the tribe of Yehuda and stole from the Cherem against the city of Yericho in the time of Yehoshua. 

 The Midrash goes on to ask a specific point, why is he associated with his grandfather Chur? Because Chur stood against the mob who were looking to worship the Egel (Golden Calf), and gave his life for Hashem. He was thus promised that God would reward him in the only way he could be compensated in this world, as illustrated with the following parable (Shmos Rabba Vayakhel 48). 

A king had his legions rebel against him. One officer fought against the rebels, saying “You are rebelling against the king!” And so they fought back and killed him. The king said, “Had he given me money wouldn’t I have to pay him back? Even more so that he gave his life for me, what can I do for him? I’ll promote his descendants to important positions!” 

 משל למלך שמרדו עליו לגיונותיו עמד שר הצבא שלו ונלחם עמהם אמר להם על המלך אתם מורדים עמדו והרגו אותו, אמר המלך אילו ממון נתן לי לא הייתי צריך לפרוע לו עאכ"ו שנפשו נתן עלי מה אני עושה לו אלא כל בנים שיצאו ממנו אני מעמידם דוכסים ואפרכים 

The Midrash goes on to say how many people were gifted wisdom to work on the Mishkan? Even animals were gifted wisdom (ibid)! Since the verse says He gave wisdom - חכמה ותבונה בהמה- even though the word בהמה there means “into them,” the word is still spelled בהמה, which is the same spelling (and therefore a homonym) with the word that means animal. Implying that He put wisdom into animals, in addition to the humans.

AND YET – only one person is known by name: Betzalel. Even if we know the name Oholiab, he is still not given the same kind of aura that we have around Betzalel. 

In fact, the Midrash goes on to take Betzalel to the next level asking why he is given this kind of credit and status? 

 ומהיכן זכה לכל החכמה הזאת בזכות מרים. The Midrash’s answer is that Betzalel achieved this status in Miriam’s merit. After all, she and her mother were credited with saving the Israelite babies in Egypt, through the phrase ויעש להם בתים, and as Rashi there notes, that refers to the houses of כהונה מלכות and חכמה. Aharon got Kehunah, Moshe, at that time, was the equivalent of a king. Which left חכמה (wisdom) to Miriam. The Midrash goes on to demonstrate that חכמה was eventually gifted to דוד who was a descendant of Betzalel – likely through a woman who married one of David’s line from Nachshon to Yishai (see his lineage at the end of Megilas Rus). Miriam is credited with being Chur’s mother, based on a verse in Divrei HaYamim in which Chur’s mother is identified as אפרת, which is the same Efrat who is identified as Miriam in the Midrash at the beginning of Shemos 

 שמות רבה (וילנא) פרשת שמות פרשה א 

ויקח לו כלב את אפרת זו מרים, למה נקרא שמה אפרת שפרו ורבו ישראל על ידיה 

The Midrash on our Parsha continues by saying that David was the son (descendant) of a man from Efrat, which means he came from Miriam, who was also known as Efrat. (ודוד בן איש אפרתי שבא מן מרים שנקראת אפרת) 

 The message of all of this is a very simple one. 

 Every single one of us is a product of a huge line of people who existed in this world for us to be created. We all have 2 biological parents, 4 biological grandparents, 8 biological great grandparents, 16 biological great grandparents. Etc – it doubles in each generation. 

 Who were they? If we were to meet them, would we honor them? They all have countless descendants! We are each but a speck in the annals of their existence, as, one might argue, each of them was in ours. But they certainly lived, had a child, and had hopes that their descendants, however long down the road, would have a better life than they had, made the most of the gift of life given to them, and most importantly, would do them proud. 

 If Chur had lived to see what his grandson would end up accomplishing, would he have been proud? I am sure he would have been very proud. 

 Was Betzalel proud of his grandfather? I sure hope so. Even though we don’t know a lot about him, Chur, in our eyes, is a legend. One who gave up everything for God, who stood up for what was right in a very trying moment in time, and who became, in God’s eyes as well, a legend whose descendants were worthy of all blessings for all time – assuming they’d be minimally deserving as well. 

 Our lesson from Betzalel is to be a blessing to those who preceded us, and to live our lives in such a way that those who descend from us are proud of us – and hopefully we will be of them as well. What does it take? 

 It takes asking ourselves a very simple list of question. How will my children and grandchildren remember me? Will their grandchildren know of me at all? 

 This is not a knock on anyone’s existence. How many of us know where our great great grandparents lived, died, or where they are buried? This is part of the world – דור הולך ודור בא והעולם hopefully לעולם עומדת. Generations come and go, and we are the ones who stand on the shoulders of giants, no matter how “little” they may have been. 

 But – at least as far as the hopefully foreseeable future is concerned, how do we aim to cement our legacy? 

 Here are a few questions worthy of consideration. They are aimed in a positive way, leaving the implied opposite of each question as something I imagine we’d all like to avoid. Everyone is encouraged to use these questions and add others of our own imagination to the list of how we would want to be remembered when the time comes. 

Do we want to cement our legacy: As someone who was a baal tzedakah? As someone who primarily had kind things to say? As someone who aimed to avoid Lashon Hora? As someone who pursued peace and tried to avoid Machlokes? As someone who, when Machlokes was inevitable, did what was necessary to resolve it according to halacha and with still respecting the other party when the issue was resolved? As someone who was a shul goer? As someone who studied Torah? As someone who had kavod haTorah? As someone who was constantly working on improving and refining middos? As someone who aimed to have close and special relationships with our children and grandchildren, if we are blessed to have them, and with our loved ones and friends otherwise? 

 Will we be like Betzalel and Chur, both of whom were legendary in their time and until today? At the very least, such a thought gives us much to live for, and should be a blessing for each of us for the rest of our days – עמו"ש (until 120).

Man Plans and God Also Plans

 Parshat Ki Sisa

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Many years ago I read an essay entitled “Welcome to Holland” written by Emily Perl Kingsley to try to explain what life as a parent to a child with a disability is like – in her case, I believe it was Downs Syndrome. She compares it to intending to go on a trip to Italy, which ends with the flight attendant welcoming you to Holland.  Apparently there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. Her point being it’s a journey – not what you expected – but Holland has its fine points as well. It's not a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's different! It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. 

 But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. 

In looking for it, I found another essay (thank you “Google!”) written by a woman named Zita Dulock who hates “Welcome to Holland,” who essentially argues that actually everyone ends up in Italy. Because parenthood (= Italy) is what everyone who has a child signed up for. “But we're all having very different vacations, because we're very different people, raising very different children. Is my experience what I thought it would be? Nope- it sure isn't.” 

“But neither is life with my neurotypical daughter. And neither is life with my husband. And neither is my life, in and of itself.” 

 Her version of the essay is more like this: Welcome to Italy! Despite all your prep and plans, you can’t find your hotel, you realize you needed to know Italian much better, you lost your luggage, it rained the whole time. Some found an incredible bed and breakfast, some discovered Italy through museums rather than sites. Some spent the whole time not leaving their hotel. “The truth is, this trip is nothing like what you planned it to be...even if everything goes exactly as planned! Because you can't predict how something will feel. You can't predict how something will smell. You can't predict what will captivate you, or terrify you. All you can do learn as much as you can, before you leave and when you land, and focus on being adaptable and flexible. “Whether or not you enjoy the trip is entirely up to you.” 

 That, of course, is about disabilities. But I think there is wisdom in it which can apply to the case of any kind of unexpected change. 

 We are all familiar with the expression – whether in English or Yiddish – Man Plans and God Laughs. It could also be that man doesn’t plan and God is left to pick up the pieces. 

 Consider our parsha – It begins right where the Torah left off last week, with instructions about the Mishkan. Now we hear about collecting funds, in the form of the ½ Shekel, about the Kiyor (washbasin), and about the instructions for how to make the Ketoret. We are told that Betzalel will oversee the makings of all of the Mishkan. We are given a fairly strict warning about the importance of Shabbos observance – one of the ways we imply the rules of Shabbos from the methods of building the Mishkan. And then the narrative returns. All exciting. וַיִּתֵּ֣ן אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֗ה כְּכַלֹּתוֹ֙ לְדַבֵּ֤ר אִתּוֹ֙ בְּהַ֣ר סִינַ֔י שְׁנֵ֖י לֻחֹ֣ת הָעֵדֻ֑ת לֻחֹ֣ת אֶ֔בֶן כְּתֻבִ֖ים בְּאֶצְבַּ֥ע אֱלֹהִֽים: This should be followed by Moshe’s glorious return from his incredible chavrusa with the Almighty. Presumably, with Tablets in hand, Moshe is going to come down and hold several kumzitzes around the fire, with hundreds or thousands of people, to convey to them as best he can what took place on the top of the mountain. 

 But it was not to be. Because sometimes man doesn’t plan, and man’s choices, when flying, proverbially, by the seat of his pants, certainly don’t turn out the way anyone thought they would. 

 In the scheme of the story of the Jewish people, the Golden Calf was a devastating setback. But in the scheme of the story of the Jewish people, Moshe Rabbenu became a legend like no other, when he a. essentially argued to God “You’re destroying this people over my dead body,” and b. had the closest encounter with God of seeing וראית את אחרי ופני לא יראו, the result of which puts Moshe outside of the camp, turning his own private tent into an early version of the אהל מועד and also causes his face to shine in a manner that was beyond the natural order. 

 There is no one reading this who hasn’t had an Italy turned Holland life, or an Italy experience that didn’t quite turn out as it was meant to be. My father told me a couple of years ago, “I never expected to retire after 40 years in the rabbinate during a pandemic.” 

 How many people hoped to have one kind of career and ended up somewhere else. How many people had dreams of one kind of family, and things looked differently in the end? How many people have suffered losses of loved ones too young, too early, before we had the chance to say all we should have said? How many people have family members with whom there is a fallout and we’re not on speaking terms, in a manner which seems irreparable, for years, if not decades? Is retirement always what people had hoped for? 

 There is a prominent rabbi in the New York area who has an autistic son who is now an adult. Throughout the young man’s life, the father is the one who takes care of him, particularly when the young man needs to relieve himself. Knowing that he alone can care for his son, when he gets the call from home to come, he views it as a certain calling in life comparable to being the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur. (Story told by Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz) 

This story of reminiscent of a story told by Viktor Frankl in his masterpiece, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” He describes how meaning in life comes from responsibleness – in life having a purpose. But that purpose can ultimately come from one of three spaces: 

By doing a deed 

By experiencing a value 

By suffering 

The first – doing a deed which has meaning is obvious. The second can come from experiencing something – such as a work of nature or culture, or by experiencing someone, the key example being through loving someone. By that he doesn’t refer simply to a physical act, but to having a deep relationship with someone else. Regarding the third – suffering – he brings two examples of people who suffer, who have found meaning through their suffering. 

 The first is a man in deep mourning over the loss of his wife. Dr. Frankl chose the route of asking a question rather than telling the man what he should feel. “Suppose you had died first and your wife would have had to survive that loss.” The gentleman responded that it would have been unbearable for her. Dr. Frankl then told him “Such a suffering has been spared her. You have spared her this suffering. But now you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her.” And Frankl reflects upon that case “Suffering ceases to be suffering in some way at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” He notes this wasn’t therapy, but he was able to change the person’s attitude about his own suffering, giving it meaning. 

 He gave another example of a woman with a disabled son who needed to change her focus into seeing that her mission in life was to care for her son, that she alone was capable of doing like no other caregiver. 

 I believe that Moshe Rabbenu found meaning in the suffering that the people brought upon themselves. One of the more profound passages we find in Moshe’s life comes in Parshas B’haaloscha.

 12Did I conceive this entire people? Did I give birth to them, that You say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom as the nurse carries the suckling,' to the Land You promised their forefathers? 13Where can I get meat to give all these people? For they are crying on me, saying, 'Give us meat to eat.' 14Alone I cannot carry this entire people for it is too hard for me. 15If this is the way You treat me, please kill me if I have found favor in Your eyes, so that I not see my misfortune."

 יבהֶאָֽנֹכִ֣י הָרִ֗יתִי אֵ֚ת כָּל־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֔ה אִם־אָֽנֹכִ֖י יְלִדְתִּ֑יהוּ כִּֽי־תֹאמַ֨ר אֵלַ֜י שָׂאֵ֣הוּ בְחֵיקֶ֗ךָ כַּֽאֲשֶׁ֨ר יִשָּׂ֤א הָֽאֹמֵן֙ אֶת־הַיֹּנֵ֔ק עַ֚ל הָֽאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נִשְׁבַּ֖עְתָּ לַֽאֲבֹתָֽיו: יגמֵאַ֤יִן לִי֙ בָּשָׂ֔ר לָתֵ֖ת לְכָל־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֑ה כִּֽי־יִבְכּ֤וּ עָלַי֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר תְּנָה־לָּ֥נוּ בָשָׂ֖ר וְנֹאכֵֽלָה: ידלֹֽא־אוּכַ֤ל אָֽנֹכִי֙ לְבַדִּ֔י לָשֵׂ֖את אֶת־כָּל־הָעָ֣ם הַזֶּ֑ה כִּ֥י כָבֵ֖ד מִמֶּֽנִּי: טווְאִם־כָּ֣כָה | אַתְּ־עֹ֣שֶׂה לִּ֗י הָרְגֵ֤נִי נָא֙ הָרֹ֔ג אִם־מָצָ֥אתִי חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֶי֑ךָ וְאַל־אֶרְאֶ֖ה בְּרָֽעָתִֽי: 

 Because God essentially tells him, yes you can. Yes you will. Not only that, but you will lead these people, your people, to the border of the Promised Land. 

Didn’t Moshe pine for the Promised Land? Wasn’t that a life goal that he had? Yes. But whether Moshe ended up in Holland, or Moshe ended up having an experience he never could have imagined, his life was, in a sense, destined to be what it ended up being. Did he suffer? Yes. Was his life peaches and cream? No. 

But he holds the esteem to which we regard him because through every change of plans thrown upon him by this stiff necked people, and despite any misgivings he may have expressed, he stuck with his role to the very end, thereby teaching us that life is a gift. 

We MUST roll with the punches. And we must, whenever we can, take steps either to get to where we want to be, or find a way to view the turns life has taken, as Dr. Frankl aimed to help the people mentioned earlier, in a manner that makes life’s turns meaningful. We could do good things, experience great values, or turn our suffering into a purpose-filled life. 

 Many people have turned their suffering into an opportunity to do good for others – whether it is tzedakah, or donating books, or sponsoring classes – those who use the impetus of their suffering to accomplish great things are, in effect, doing exactly what Viktor Frankl said to do. 

May we be blessed to find, maintain or create meaningful experiences, so that even when handed a raw hand or a bad deck, we can emerge with purpose and a handle on where we can take that which life has given us and turn it into something which gives us a direction that raises our spirits. Hopefully for a long time.

Zachor Sermon: Mitzvot of Memory – and Aharon HaKohen

Zachor and Tetzaveh

Mitzvot of Memory – and Aharon HaKohen

Parshas Zachor literally means the section of memory. Its name comes from the first word of the segment – זכור את אשר עשה לך עמלק – Remember that which Amalek did to you. But the message of זכור is much bigger and much greater than just remembering what Amalek did. 

While it is summarized in today’s Maftir, the story is the last 9 Pesukim in Parshas B’Shalach. It will be our Torah reading Purim morning. It concerns Amalek attacking a fledgling nation, just recently having experienced the Exodus, the Splitting of the Sea, and being recipients of Manna from heaven. Amalek took advantage of a weak point in the story of Bnei Yisrael, their fights with Moshe concerning water in Rephidim, and aimed to further weaken Bnei Yisrael at a time when Bnei Yisrael felt God had taken them out of Egypt to have them die in the wilderness. Amalek came… to remind them that abandoning their Father in Heaven was a recipe for disaster. 

The Siddur you are holding contains in it a list of six remembrances we are to recall often. While their commonality is that we are instructed to remember, there are different ways to break it down – some such as the Exodus and Sinai are what God Did. Shabbos is also something God did – and we are instructed to sanctify it. Perhaps we can include what God did to Miriam, even though it was a response to something she did. 

The last two are negative things done by people. We did the Golden Calf. And Amelek attacked the Bnei Yisrael. 

In a different way of categorizing, I’d like to offer a new look at a commonality concerning today’s memory of Amalek and the remembrance regarding Miriam. 

In a way – the remembrance regarding Miriam is a little cryptic. Miriam makes essentially 4 appearances in the Torah, three of those in the Torah’s post Exodus narrative. Her first appearance is when she watched baby Moshe in the basket, which according to our tradition was to see through the fulfillment of her prophesy that her parents should have another child. But post the Exodus, we have: 1. Leading the women in song after the splitting of the sea. 2. When she engages in a conversation with Aharon about Moshe and Moshe’s כשית wife, and she is stricken with Tzara’as, and the people wait for her before resuming travel, and 3. When she dies and there is no water.

 But the Pasuk says Remember what God did to Miriam, בדרך בצאתכם ממצרים. So it likely has nothing to do with the dancing, even though that was literally when they were just having left Egypt. And it likely has nothing to do with God having taken her life, which is presumed to be in the 40th year (though the Torah is unclear on that), certainly not “on the road as they left Egypt.” 

So what DID God do to Miriam? If this is about Tzara’as due to Lashon Hora, why not simply say “Remember what God did to Moshe at the Burning Bush?” 

The Chasam Sofer hints to the idea that what God did – למרים – which means FOR Miriam was HE caused the Bnei Yisrael to wait for her. Which was payback for her waiting for Moshe as a baby in the basket. I don’t want to go until the whole analysis, but suffice it to say, there is a view that Miriam had tzara’as for a very short time. She got it. God took it away. And the 7 day waiting period was the same waiting period anyone with tzara’as would undergo after the Kohen declares them Tzara’as-free. 

In that paragraph, Chasam Sofer writes that God did not judge her favorably over her comments, even though she wasn’t trying to be mean, and was speaking to one brother out of concern for her other brother. How many of us might engage in such a conversation – genuinely out of concern? 

Let us recall, for example, that Aharon was not punished in that conversation at all. In the next paragraph, Chasam Sofer links remembering what God did to Miriam and what Amalek did, noting the common theme of God’s Chesed. For Miriam – in causing everyone to wait for her for a week. And with Amalek: in weakening them, even though they were referred to by Bilaam as ראשית גוים . Though Israel was עיף ויגע, different ways of describing exhaustion, Amalek was pushed back. 

And then Chasam Sofer doubles down on Miriam – noting that the Pasuk doesn’t say to remember what Miriam did (i.e. she spoke Lashon Hora), but to remember what God did, which ultimately was Chesed. Contrast that to the Pasuk telling us to remember what Amalek did – he notes that when it comes to the wicked, we blame the wicked for their deeds, and when it comes to the righteous, which is of course how we view Miriam, we look at her in a positive light, noting the Chesed God did for her, since she did not have evil intent, even if she erred in engaging in that conversation. 

We now have a clear connection between the Zechirah of Miriam and the Zechirah of Amalek, which happen to be less than a chapter away from each other in the Torah as well. So this is a message about memory. Remembering bad behavior and learning from it what NOT to do (Amalek), and remembering good behavior (Miriam’s general presentation) and how it is rewarded.

Amalek’s reputation is tainted forever in our eyes. We look at Amalek in every way as the embodiment of 

1. Evil 

2. Distraction from our own goals 

3. Yetzer Hara 

4. The ultimate enemy against the Bnei Yisrael, both physically and spiritually 

And in a nutshell that is what we remember when we remember Amalek. Amalek can gain no ground, and is not allowed to have a negative influence on us spiritually, and must be stopped when they rear their ugly head in the physical realm, if not completely eradicated and annihilated. 

We heard a presentation a few Shabboses ago by Rabbi Shmuel Bergman of Ft. Lee as to whether Israel’s current enemy is Amalek – whether genealogically, ideologically, theologically, etc. So I will not rehash that now. But I think we can learn from the Miriam memory – that there is a different possibility than the most obvious understanding – that there are other ways to look at what Amalek did. 

My favorite insight I shared here many years ago… is this. זכור את אשר עשה לך עמלק. It doesn’t say what עמלק did לכם in plural, but לך, in the singular. Amalek UNITED YOU AS ONE. The attack caused everyone to drop whatever else was going on and to see that our common enemy makes us into a people who are fighting for our very survival. And our survival is contingent on our letting any and all fights we may have become bygones. 

Rabbenu Bachaye says regarding Miriam’s Lashon Hora ordeal: ויש לנו ללמד בזה ק"ו לגודל העונש שיש למספרי לשון הרע, אם מרים הצדקת הנביאה שלא דברה אלא באחיה, והיתה גדולה ממנו וגדלה אותו ומסרה נפשה עליו בענין היאור, ודברה שלא בפניו, נעשה עונש גדול על דבור כזה ולא הועילו לה כל זכיותיה מן העונש, וגם הדבור שדברה לא היה לשון הרע ממש אלא שעשאתו שוה לשאר הנביאים, ק"ו לשאר בני אדם שמספרין לשון הרע ממש על הגדולים מהם ובפניהם שיתביישו, שענשם כפל ומכופל. 

And since they are related – because as noted Amalek is the wedge that drives our own people apart – it’s an important message to remember now. You know the line: “Everyone always talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it.” The same is true for Lashon Hora. And we really need to do something about it. Because it is Amalek in our hearts. 

Let us shift gears for a moment to look at the parsha, and then we’ll tie the different thoughts together. 

There are two items in the vestments of the Kohanim in the Parsha which are referred to as Zikaron. They are the stones that sat atop the Kohen Gadol’s shoulders, as part of the Ephod, and the stones on the breastplate. Chapter 28, verse 12 and 29, respectively. Both of them are listed as a burden that Aharon has to carry, one on his shoulders, and one on his heart. And, in case not clear, both sets of stones had the names of the tribes of Israel engraved or embossed in them in some form. So Aharon is carrying the nation of Israel on his shoulders and on his heart as the ultimate Zikaron. 

The message should be clear, and it must resonate. Aharon, the man, not the general position of Kohen Gadol, is the one who is tasked with carrying this burden. Aharon, who is famously known in our tradition as being a lover and pursuer of peace between spouses, between neighbors, between former friends, is the one tasked with carrying the Zikaron – these stones that have the names of Bnei Yisrael on them – on his shoulders and on his heart. He carries the memory of what it takes for them to be united. 

Is there an Aharon today? Not one that we can point to, identify, and say “He’s the one that’s going to do this.” Which means that every one of us needs to carry a little bit of Aharon in us. Each of us has to carry the burden on our shoulders and on our hearts of being the peacemaker. Each of us has to represent the most important memory. And that is that just as the Bnei Yisrael are united on the stones of the shoulder straps and on the stones of the Choshen, the bnei Yisrael must have unity.

Amalek attacked the stragglers, people who seemed to not be part of the group, people who seemed to have no defenders, those lagging behind, the presumed forgotten. But when they were attacked, a sleeping lion was awakened. And Amalek was repelled. And Bnei Yisrael marched triumphantly to Har Sinai – having inspired Yisro, and having put themselves in a position of being ready to receive the Torah. Just as they were in the singular against Amalek, they were in the singular in their encampment around Sinai – ויחן שם ישראל נגד ההר – like one man with one heart. 

Who is the one man, who has the one heart, with the capacity of loving all of Am Yisrael? Aharon. 

Who was with Miriam in her conversation and went unscathed? Aharon. 

Who may have been with Miriam when she watched baby Moshe? Chizkuni and Baal Haturim say that when the daughter of Pharaoh opened the basket והנה נער בוכה, that the נער, not the ילד, which is how the baby had been described, but a נער was crying. And who was that נער? It was Aharon, who also wanted to see what would happen with his baby brother. 

Aharon is the carrier of memory. He is the ultimate uniter. On a Shabbos when we don’t hear Moshe’s name, we hear Aharon’s name many many times. Because he is the antidote to the spiritual attack and the physical attack of Amalek, and the one who, more than anyone, emerges sinless and blameless as he heroically stands for truth, love and peace among our people. 

May his model of carrying the burden of memory on the shoulder and on the heart serve as an inspiration to us – because Lashon Hora divides us, and Amalek divides us – those are message of remembering Miriam and Amalek. 

But Aharon stands strong and brings all of us together. May we each be an Aharon, and like the Kohen Gadol, inspire the greatest service of God we can imagine while promoting our care for one another.

Using Religion Improperly – Can We Atone For a Lack of Sechel?

Parshat Tetzaveh

by Rabbi Avi Billet

In the context of a discussion surrounding tzara’as and Lashon Hora, the Talmud in Arakhin 16a asks “Why are the vestments of the Kohanim mentioned near the section about offerings? To teach us that just as offerings bring atonement, the Kohen vestments bring atonement.” 

The Talmud goes on to list what sin each garment atoned for: 

The tunic (כתונת) atones for murder; the pants (מכנסים) atone for sexual sins/immorality; the hat (מצנפת) atones for those who are haughty; the belt (אבנט) atones for sins of the heart; the breastplate (חשן) atones for sins in judgment and law (דינין); the apron (אפוד) atones for idolatry; the cloak (מעיל) atones for lashon hora; the forehead plate (ציץ) atones for those who are bold-faced (in a negative way). 

(This is also discussed in Zevachim 88b)

Clearly the significance of the Kohanim wearing their garments is meant to not only make them look polished and holy, but to work behind the scenes so that those who see the garments would achieve atonement for certain private sins. 

 I’ve heard or read the following joke going both ways (meaning the punchline is sometimes given to the Jewish child and sometimes to the Catholic child), where the Catholic child and the Jewish child are debating over who has a greater religious leader. For fun, I’ll tell it with the Jewish child getting the punchline, which is the way I first heard from Irish Catholic comedian Hal Roach. The little Catholic boy says, “Our priest knows much more than your rabbi.” And the Jewish boy says, “Of course he does! You tell him everything!”

Finding Our Potential For This World and Next – Through Body and Soul

Parshat Terumah

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

In his comments on the Menorah, Kli Yakar (Rabbi Shlomo Efraim Luntzchitz) goes into great detail about the 3 indoor Mishkan vessels instructed consecutively in our Parsha: the Aron (Ark), Shulchan (Table for Showbread), and the Menorah. [The small Mizbeach is instructed at the end of Parshat Tetzaveh.]

“These include [a reference to] all successes of a person in this world and the next world. 

“The Ark is the guide for a person to achieve one’s potential… which is through the Torah which provides for lengthened days on its right, and wealth and honor on its left. (אורך ימים בימינה לעולם שכולו ארוך ועושר וכבוד בשמאלה). The section on the Ark simply focuses on its design and how to build it without referencing the benefit the person gets from it. In truth it has its own benefit in that when one studies the Torah it is its own rewards… 

Distance From Falsehoods

 Parshat Mishpatim

by Rabbi Avi Billet

There is a passage in the Talmud Shavuos 30b-31a. which asks the question – how do we know…. (there are many fillings for that blank - though most deal with the behavior of judges in a courtroom). And the answer, in each case, is מדבר שקר תרחק – because we are commanded to distance ourselves from falsehoods (23:7) 

 These are the questions the Gemara asks – and the answer is always the same (translation is from Sefaria, with a slight expansion to explain the words of the Talmud): Because the Torah says to distance from falsehood. 

Note To Congregation On Return of Bibas Children HYD

 February 20, 2025

Dear Friends 

For those watching the news out of Israel, today is a very dark day. 

In thinking through what to share with you, I was reminded of the first time I went to Yad Vashem – I was probably 11 or 12 years old. In going through one of the rooms that is filled wall to wall with photographs, I recall seeing faces of a few babies. The photos being in black and white made it a little harder to relate to. Though in thinking about it now, over 30 years later, I imagine that had those babies lived, they’d only be 8-10 years older than my parents. They were most likely born between 1938-1941. I was looking at their faces less than 50 years after they had been murdered. 

 The photos of smiling babies in various poses were from a happier time, a photoshoot of some kind, and bore no resemblance to their fate at the hands of their murderers, nor their final moments prior to their murders. 

 We have all seen photos and videos of happier times of the Bibas children, HYD, with their bright red hair and adorable ways. It gave us hope that they’d run again and play again and have a chance to live out their lives. 

 But today I saw a photo of Shiri HYD holding her children, taken shortly after they were captured (see below). The look of terror in her eyes is haunting. Her clinging to her children, hoping against hope to be able to protect them from the barbarism they were already subject to… this is a picture straight out of the Shoah. Except this time it is in color. The crime: being Jewish in the Holy Land. Their tormentors: Islamo-fascists who gleefully fulfill their mission of Jew-hatred in the same manner as the Nazis, y’mach sh’mam v’zikhram. This follows the release of the tortured and gaunt men last week, who looked every bit like Holocaust survivors minus the striped “uniform” of the concentration camps. 

 For a reminder that this is part of a larger saga of barbarism and a war against innocent children, Sivan Rahav Meir posted on Facebook that 38 children were murdered on Simchat Torah (October 7). 20 children were orphaned of both parents. 96 children lost one parent. 42 children were kidnapped and taken hostage. She went on to mention families that have been murdered in the past – Kopsheter, Hatuel, Fogel, Kedem-Siman Tov. 

 The loss of most of the Bibas family is heartbreaking – as is the latest news that the woman “returned” is not Shiri! It is the same heartbreak we have felt off and on since October 7th, contemplating the unimaginable numbers – a pogrom in Israel, committed by a “society” of evil barbarians who delight in the murder of Jews, and all atrocities against Jewish people – and every fallen soldier since, and the news of every hostage we find out is no longer alive. Not to mention the many maimed soldiers who have paid a different heavy price to root out Hamas. And of course, the remaining hostages who are still held in captivity, both alive and dead.

 Even those of us who feared for a long time that this was the fate of the Bibas family still held onto a thread that they’d live to tell the tale of their awful imprisonment, and how a nation rallied for them, seeing them as the litmus test of hope for a brighter day for them and all of Israel. Hence this being a very dark day. The thought that murderers were released in exchange for dead babies sickens us to our core. That anyone sees the Jews in a bad light over this kind of “deal” boggles the mind.

 The enemy knows our weakness. Our weakness is the love of life. Our weakness is our desire to see the fulfillment of וראה בנים לבניך שלום על ישראל (Tehillim 128:6). We want to live to see children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, future generations of the Jewish people. And we give up terrorists who have blood on their hands (who are not starving or horribly mistreated), in exchange for a living victim of their depravities, or even a dead victim – to have closure for our people. And we only want to be left alone to live in peace.

 Shame on any nation in the world (including the US - particularly through USAID) who have given money to these terrorists. Shame on the “civilized” nations of the world that turned a blind eye to how their “aid” to the “poor palestinians” was spent. Shame on every “useless idiot” on a college campus who buys the propaganda of al Jazeera and Hamas. Shame on the Red Cross – the most useless and corrupt organization of Uber-drivers-for-Hamas the world has ever seen. Shame on anyone who can’t see the difference between a defensive war fought by Israel to protect its citizens, which inevitably has some civilian casualties, but is by no means a genocide, and an all out attack by a terrorist group invading private homes and a peace-loving music festival on a Shabbat and holiday – which saw murder, rape, mutilation of the dead, burning people alive, seeking out men, women, children, elderly for target practice, and a celebration of all of the above – who wouldn’t stop their genocidal intent were it not for civilians and soldiers rising to defend themselves. Every casualty of this war is on their hands. 

 A million times over I would rather be one of us than one of them. 

 My heart isn’t broken specifically for the Bibas family, though obviously they are a piece of a larger breaking of the heart. I am shocked Yarden is alive. I hope he can find a path forward in life, get the help he needs, and rebuild a life. My heart is broken because despite all the rhetoric of “NEVER AGAIN” of the last 80 years, we have seen in the last 500 days that it happened again. The dead babies of October 7 did not have a campaign to save them. For them it was too late. But we all "knew" these children. They are enshrined in the Shoah Hall of Memory with a name and an identity - not just an unknown face. And for all the talk of the world that the Jews will have a safe haven for themselves, that safe haven has never been fully safe, and people are still saying it shouldn’t exist at all.

 Shame on all of them for not learning from history. Shame on all of those who see Jews – especially after the collective and moral guilt of the Shoah – as anything other than “people who should be left alone.” 

 I hope Israel learns the lesson from history, and finishes the mission – eradicating Hamas, and removing all terrorists and terrorist-sympathizers from its borders, so we can have the best chance of seeing our hopes and dreams fulfilled - וראה בנים לבניך שלום על ישראל

 Amen! 

Rabbi Avi Billet