Lavan's Daughters (and Sons) - and Their Ages

Parshat Vayetze

by Rabbi Avi Billet

One of the more challenging fact-finding questions we encounter year after year is “how old are the Biblical heroes in the tales which are shared with us?” In some cases the Torah tells us, removing all doubt. We know Avraham was 75 at when he came to Canaan, 86 when Yishmael was born, 99 when he had his bris, 100 when Yitzchak was born and 175 at his death. There are many Midrashic viewpoints as to how old Avraham was when he discovered God. I’ve seen 20-days, 3, 13, 40, 48, 50, 52 years – all as legitimate options. Clearly only one of these can be correct.

B'Terem - The Drama of Immediacy

Parshat Vayigash

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The word “Terem” or “B’Terem” (‘just before’) appears in the Torah close to twenty times, sometimes serving as a dramatic preposition enhancing a narrative tale, setting the stage for the unfolding drama that is most riveting.

                

“Terem” Lot’s guests  were to retire for the night, the people of Sedom gathered at Lot’s house. (19:4) “Terem” Avraham’s servant finished speaking his condition/prayer, Rivkah emerged. (24:15,45)

                

Yitzchak instructed Eisav to prepare food for him, so the son could earn a blessing “B’terem” his father dies. (27:4) Yitzchak finished eating Yaakov’s food and completed his encounter with Yaakov “B’terem” Eisav returned with his prepared meal. (27:33)

                

The brothers saw Yosef from a distance, and b’terem his arrival, they plotted to murder him. (37:18)

                

Yosef’s two sons were born b’terem the famine years arrived. (41:50) Perhaps the drama here comes in the added drive given to Yosef to succeed in his food storage endeavors – the survival of his children.

                

Finally, in our parsha, when Yaakov learns that Yosef is alive, he declares “I will go and see him b’terem I die.” (48:28)

                

Judging from Yitzchak’s estimation of his own death, we can see that while the premonition of death runs in the family, the estimation of time until departure is typically way off. Yitzchak lived another 57 years, and it will turn out that Yaakov will live another 17 years.

                

So why did these men think they were going to die? Rashi says (27:2) that when one gets to within 5 years of the age of death of a parent, one needs to begin setting one’s house in order. It is a good litmus test for one’s survival. Since Sarah lived to 127, Yitzchak’s mortality radar started blinking at 123.

            

The Midrash also tells us in a number of places (see Tosafot Yevamot 61b) that Rivkah lived as long as Kehat. Since he lived to 133 (Shmot 6:18), clearly Yaakov’s mortality radar screen was similarly blinking when he was 130.

                

But is that really what’s on his mind? He seems a lot more pessimistic than merely thinking about his mother’s age of demise when confronted with his age-question by the curious Pharaoh.  (47:8)

                

Considering that Yaakov has thought Yosef to be dead for 22 years, it was never his intention to hold out on giving up on life until he saw Yosef again. So what is a proper explanation for his stating “I will see Yosef b’terem I die.”  Clearly he thinks he is about to die for other reasons, and seeing Yosef is now going to be a bonus in what has otherwise been, in his own words to Pharaoh, “'The days of my life have been few and hard.” (47:9)

                

Some of the commentaries say Yaakov meant, “Though my years have not even come close to those of my father and grandfather, it’s been a rough life.” Radak takes this to mean that Yaakov was worn out. He felt weak and had a premonition that his days were numbered.

                

Yaakov was a man of truth. And the truth is that he suffered from the debilitating mind-game that overtakes people who have given up on life. I had a conversation this week with someone whose father recently passed away, and he told me that his father was an avid traveler who never thought about how old he was until he had a mind-shift that told himself, “I’m old.” This man felt that as soon as his father focused on his turning 90, that was the beginning of the end. He told me of a woman he knows who is 107, but lives every day to the max. Her age is not a focus of her existence. Because her focus is on her life, and not on how much closer she is to the grave.  This was certainly true of Alice Herz-Sommer, the pianist Holocaust survivor  (subject of the documentary “The Lady in Number 6”) (see embedded video at the end), who passed away this past February at age 110. What an amazing attitude she had – her age was irrelevant to her.

                

The drama unfolded by the word “B’terem” shows us that Yaakov was literally at death’s door. He had sold himself down the river. He was done with life. But the news of Yosef’s success gave him a new sense of purpose, so much so that he didn’t even realize that he had given himself a new lease on life. In 45:27 we see that Yaakov’s spirit was revived. And in 45:28, he still thinks he’s about to die.

                

But the shift has reversed itself. Yaakov, in his heart, and perhaps in his mind as well, is looking forward to seeing Yosef. Looking forward to hearing the story, whatever story he’ll hear. Looking forward to meeting any grandchildren he may have. But as he’s making the shift, he has the sense of urgency, the sense of immediacy, that death will come very soon on account of every other factor of life that has brought him to this point.

                

The hope is that all people in that later stage of life can tap into an urgency of finding amazing things to live for. The mind game that says that at 75,80,90,100 “I’m just getting started!” can hopefully provide a very necessary ingredient and attitude (and “chiyus!”) that will lead to good health and mindset as seniors embrace the different stages of the second half of life.

Avraham's Age When He Discovered God

This week's entry in the Jewish Star. This one was written with the dvar torah that made me famous in mind (read comments there for entertainment purposes only).

If you'd like to hear an expanded audio version of this class, see it here: https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/913694/rabbi-avi-billet/avrahams-age-at-discovering-god,-and-was-he-saved-from-a-furnace/


Parshat Lech Lecha: “Three” is one opinion
By Rabbi Avi Billet

Issue of October 30 2009/ 12 Cheshvan 5770

On my children’s bookshelf there is a book entitled “A Little Boy Named Avram.” The book follows one of the midrashic interpretations that suggests little Avram lived in a cave as a child until he was three years old, at which point he emerged and recognized the existence of God.

A different midrash suggests Avram’s mother ran away from her husband, who worked for Nimrod, to give birth in a cave. The midrash says she told the baby she is leaving him there, preferring he possibly die at the hands of the elements, than at the hands of Nimrod who practiced infanticide.

The midrash says God sent the angel Gabriel to care for him for ten days. Having benefited from divine “milk” and sustenance, he emerged from the cave after ten days with the ability to walk. After twenty days, Gabriel appeared to him again, and identified himself as a messenger of God, Creator of the world, to whom the boy began to pray.

Meanwhile, feeling guilty and remorseful, his mother returned to the cave looking for her son. She found a little boy nearby, walking and speaking like an adult. After a little back and forth, he told her he was her son and she marveled at how much he’d grown in such a short time. He told her, “You should know, my mother, that there is a great and mighty living God Who sees and is not seen, and He is in the heavens and His glory fills the world.” (Both of these midrashic accounts can be found in the book Otzar Hamidrashim.)

The main source for the midrash that Avraham was three when he discovered God is the verse in Bereishit 26:5, when God promises Yitzchak that He’ll fulfill certain promises “eikev” that Avraham listened to His voice. The word “eikev” means “on account of,” and its gematria (numerical value in Jewish numerology) is 172. Since Avraham lived to be 175 (25:7), and he listened to God’s voice for 172 years, he must have been 3 when he discovered God’s voice.

The problem is that Avraham was told the same thing in 22:18, after the story of the Akeidah (binding of Yitzchak), when Avraham was somewhere between 113 and 137 years of age. He certainly hadn’t heeded God’s voice for 172 years at that point.

To round out other options, consider that in the exact place where Resh Lakish suggests Avraham was 3 when he recognized God (Bereishit Rabbh 95:3), another opinion is recorded that Avraham was 48 years old when he recognized God.

Pesikta Rabati 21 interprets the word choice of the Ten Commandments, and says the first word “Anokhi” (אנכי) is to be divided: Aleph stands for Avraham. Nun equals 50, Avraham’s age when he recognized God [though Rabbi Chanina and Rabbi Yochanan believe he was 48, and Resh Lakish believes he was 3]. Khaf equals 20 — he taught God’s word to twenty generations (or corrected what had transpired after twenty generations). Yud equals ten, referring to the ten trials Avraham underwent and passed.

[I put two more opinions in the comments - Rambam says he was 40, and the Talmud says he was 52 - AB 10/2014]

20 days, 3 years, 48 years, 50 years. Each one is legitimately sourced and accounted for.

Which one do you prefer? Does it really matter? Does it shake the core of your belief? Does it change the meaning of your Judaism? Does it make you feel you’ve been duped? Does it change the way you perceive the Torah you’ve been taught and the way you’ve always understood things?

The Torah (Tanakh), Talmud and Midrash are vast books filled with an endless source of knowledge. Never take anything for granted. Never take anyone’s “statements of fact” as true until they show it to you inside a text.

Homiletics and interpretation are a different story — we all can take whatever lessons or messages from the text that relate to our life experience, and we all see things in a different way.

The 20 day old and the 3 year old are clearly divinely inspired, making Avraham an extremely special human from the get-go. But a Baal Teshuva might appreciate the possibility that Avraham was an incredible, yet normal man who came to a very important realization a little later in his intellectual, theological and philosophical development.

The Torah tells Avraham’s age at Lech Lecha — 75 (12:4), Birth of Yishmael — 86 (16:16), Bris Milah — 99 (17:1), Birth of Yitzchak — 100 (21:5), and death — 175 (25:7), but not when he recognized God. I am happy the Torah leaves it vague, because it allows all kinds of people to draw inspiration.