Hey Mon! Gratitude and Faith Come From Extreme Tests

Parshat Beshalach 

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

In the opening Siman of Shulchan Arukh, the Mishneh Brurah (s”k 13) comments as to why פרשת המן (the section of the Torah addressing Manna, henceforth “Mon”) is included in the back of the morning prayers in many siddurim, and why it is recommended to be said on a daily basis:  

ופרשת המן כדי שיאמין שכל מזונותיו באין בהשגחה פרטית וכדכתיב המרבה לא העדיף והממעיט לא החסיר להורות שאין ריבוי ההשתדלות מועיל מאומה ואיתא בירושלמי ברכות כל האומר פרשת המן מובטח לו שלא יתמעטו מזונותיו 

“Parshat HaMon is [said daily] so that a person should believe that all his food comes through God’s intent, as it says ‘Whoever took more had no extra, and whoever took less was not lacking,’ to simply demonstrate that extra effort doesn’t assist at all. [In] the Yerushalmi Berachos it says that anyone who says Parshat HaMon is guaranteed that his food will never be minimized.” 

The story of the Mon seems pretty straightforward. A month after having left Egypt (16:1) the food supply had dwindled and the people were left with nothing. They complained to Moshe, recalling the endless food supply they had in Egypt, the meatpots and easily available bread. 

Moshe tells them they should be complaining to God and not to Moshe and Aharon (16:8). Interestingly, Moshe also instructs Aharon to tell the Bnei Yisrael to approach Hashem, Who has heard your complaints, and then the Torah reports to us that as Aharon was speaking to them, Hashem’s glory appeared in a cloud. (16:9-10) 

The mitzvoth of the Mon are given: not to have any leftovers until the morning, to collect doubles on Friday, and not to collect on Shabbos, etc. 

While there are many questions we can ask, two in particular come to mind. 

1. It seems that the Mon came only because the people complained. Was God really intending to have them starve? (This same question can be asked about every time they complain about water?) 
2. What lessons are we to learn from the Mon tale today? The Torah could have simply stated that God fed the people in the wilderness (as it does in Devarim 8) without going into all the details of the tale! 

To the first question, we can look in the Haggadah to find the answer! We say in the “Dayenu,” “Had He only supplied our needs in the desert for forty years and not fed us the Mon, it would have been enough.” Of course, the refrain “it would have been enough” means “it would have been enough reason for us to give thanks,” which is the ultimate message of each phase of Dayenu. But that statement indicates that God DID intend to provide our needs in the wilderness. It seems that the Mon, therefore, was a bonus. Note that “Dayenu” doesn’t reference giving us water, which means that of course God intended to provide water. The people always complained before God felt it necessary to intervene. 

What were “our needs” that God was providing in the wilderness? In Devarim 2:7 Moshe tells the people, “You didn’t lack for anything.” In Devarim 8:4 Moshe reminds them that “Your garment did not wear out and your feet did not swell” for all the time in the wilderness. Earlier in our parsha, Moshe told the people at Marah that “if you do what is just in His eyes, give ear to His commandments, and observe all His decrees, then any of the diseases that I placed on Egypt I will not bring upon you, for I am Hashem your healer.” 

A Chassidic teaching (recorded by Nachshoni) is that the “disease” of Egypt is the stubborn denial of Hashem’s existence, with no chance of repentance. No matter what, the people would never stubbornly refuse repentance the way Pharaoh did – they were cured of this now and forever. 

Some of the commentaries on the Haggadah further explain what the “needs” of the Israelites in the wilderness were. Shibolei HaLeket mentions the protection of the Pillars of Cloud and Fire. Rashbe’tz mentions that the journey followed a path where there was edible shrubbery growing. More than enough for survival. A number of commentators noted that they had plenty of animals and plenty of money to purchase food and other supplies from the peoples they’d encounter (Orchos Chaim, Abudirham, Rashbam). So our needs, therefore were taken care of – but the people wanted MORE. They were used to Egypt providing them with their food, because that is what a master must give to his slaves, in exchange for their slave labor. They did not yet know or understand the ways of the world and how to utilize the resources they had available. Perhaps they wanted to preserve their animals for their own wealth purposes. Perhaps they wanted to save them for offerings. But they could have used them for meat! Their needs were provided. 

As for our own lessons from the Mon, there are many. The Mishneh Brurah’s example noted above, is a lesson of faith and trust in the Almighty. A daily recitation is meant to train a person in the ways of Emunah, and to help a person’s ultimate lifegoal, which is to get closer and closer to God in this lifetime. 

Ultimately, God said that the test of the Mon would be to see “if [Israel] will follow the ways of My Torah or not.” (16:4) 

Ibn Ezra notes that the test was for the people to see that they would need God on a daily basis. 

Ramban takes this a step further noting that the test was to see if they would follow God even if they only had one day’s worth of food. Most of us have a kitchen stocked with food for much more than a day, and we also know we can go to a store whenever we want. Perhaps we can imagine a different level of trust in God if the food supply line were to break, or if we had no clear source of sustenance, relying on God to provide for us on a daily basis. (See Yoma 76) 

The test of the Mon can also be viewed as a test of gratitude. Do we acknowledge God’s sustaining us on a regular basis? This can be demonstrated by us through our adherence to the mitzvoth associated with saying Brachot! 

There are further teachings which compare the daily dose of Mon to the daily doses of Torah that we are to bring into our regular existence. The fact that we have Torah reading 3 times a week is meant to remind us that just as a person should not go 3 days without food, a Jew should not go 3 days without Torah. Certainly the image of a daily Mon supply should remind us of God’s care for us, and His everlasting gift to us which has long outlasted the physical Mon – the Torah which speaks to us on a daily basis, if we are only listening and engaged in its study, and in extracting its practical advice for daily living. 

May we be blessed to see that God is always watching over us. Even when we don’t see how He provides our needs, we should be blessed to see how what we have is enough – Dayenu. And we should be blessed to always be moving upward in our relationship with Him, as the many tests associated with the Mon and with wilderness living were to teach us about how to live life outside of Egypt and even in a wilderness, when things are unfamiliar and the direction life is heading is filled with uncertainty. 

That is a tremendously powerful lesson for all time, and especially for our time.

Moshe Rabbenu Shares the Priorities of Bnei Yisrael

Parshat Bo 

by Rabbi Avi Billet

After getting the warning of the pending plague of locusts, and after hearing from his own people, "How long will this be a snare for us? Send the people! Let them serve their God! Don't you know Egypt is lost?", Pharaoh asks Moshe the ultimate question of Jewish values and priorities. If I let you go, "who and who are going?" (10:8) 

Moshe's response speaks volumes. "We will go with our young people, with our old people, with our sons and our daughters, with our sheep and cattle we will go, because it is a celebration of God for us." (10:9) 

Pharaoh's values are Egyptian values. Not exactly in these words, he tells Moshe there is no way you are taking your children. Rather, "Let the men go, [they] will serve Hashem, for that is what you really want." (10:10-11) Obviously Pharaoh felt that religious ritual is only the purview of men, and that Israelite children have no part in it. Perhaps he also felt that children are an anchor that will guarantee his slaves will return, but he never actually says that outright. 

It seems a bizarre question. What are our priorities? 

I heard a story recently about Rabbi Yehuda Amital, z"l, the founding Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Har Etzion, who was giving a shiur (lecture) in the yeshiva, in the main Beit Medrash, when the sound of children running around in the upstairs women section (used mainly on Shabbos morning when families of the rebbeim would daven with the yeshiva) interrupted his teaching. 

The people listening to the shiur tried to shush the children, though they couldn't see them, and of course it was to no avail. It is a bit of an ordeal to get upstairs - much easier to shush than to actually take the two minutes to get up, go out, get to the staircase, climb them, catch the kids, and tell them they are disturbing the Rosh Yeshiva. 

Anyway, Rav Amital said, ילדים לא מפריעים לי, רק המבוגרים. “Children don’t disturb me. Only adults [are disturbing me].” 

It seemed the shushing was more disturbing to Rav Amital than the running around. This was a living, breathing theme of Rav Amital's life. He was in several labor camps during the Shoah, and was the lone survivor of his family. He didn't see Jewish children all through the Holocaust and therefore, each time he saw Jewish children after the Holocaust, he felt it was nothing less than a miracle. 

Rosh Yeshiva Rav Mosheh Lichtenstein shared the following teaching in the name of Rav Aharon Soloveichik zt”l, which I heard from Rabbi Yonatan Shai Friedman: 

The Gemara Yevamot 113b-114a relates that the people lost the key to the shul and the way they went about finding it was to have the children play right outside the shul. Part of the problem was that even if the adults found the key, as it was Shabbos, they could do nothing with it as carrying was forbidden in the space where the key had been lost. Here is the passage from the Talmud:

רב יצחק בר ביסנא אירכסו ליה מפתחי דבי מדרשא ברשות הרבים בשבתא, אתא לקמיה דרבי פדת, אמר ליה: זיל דבר טלי וטליא וליטיילו התם, דאי משכחי להו מייתי להו 

“Rav Yitzchak bar Bisna lost the keys to the study hall, and therefore they could not come into the study hall from the public domain on Shabbat. [It was impossible to open the synagogue, as they could not bring the key because it is prohibited to carry in the public domain.] He came before Rabbi Pedat to ask what to do. Rabbi Pedat said to him: Go and lead boys and girls and let them walk there [where the keys were lost], and if they find the keys they will bring them to you of their own accord [, without you needing to tell them to bring you the keys.]” 

The message, or lesson, from this anecdote is that the “key” to having children become shul goers is to first have them play there. 

We could argue that the way Moshe Rabbenu was describing everyone coming was the first example of what would later come to be known as the mitzvah of Hakhel – the once in 7 years gathering of ALL the people of Israel to Yerushalayim. In explaining why the children were brought, as many of them were surely too young to understand or appreciate the gathering and proceedings, Chazal teach us it was “to give reward to those who brought them.” 

There’s a passage in the Yerushalmi in Yavamos in which Rabbi Yehoshua describes the teaching of “the giving reward to those who brought the children” as a precious stone. The teaching is so precious. Why? The Talmud tells us R Yehoshua remembered that his mother would bring his cradle to the synagogue so that his ears would cleave to the words of the Torah. Sure enough, he became a tanna! 

As much as any, many, or all of us have any mitzvah to pray, and as much as any, many, or all of us have an obligation to be with a minyan, we have a fundamental responsibility not only to not neglect our children, but to give them a foundation of seeing shul as their second home and of providing a space in which they are comfortable coming. 

Thank God, and for reasons that are not necessarily understood, children are the least affected by covid. But they are affected the most in being closed out from synagogue participation – even on their own level of playing and seeing shul as a destination on a weekly basis. 

If indeed we aim to emulate Moshe Rabbenu and his declaration that ALL of Bnei Yisrael are coming us, we ought to ask ourselves, why did he mention נערינו (our youths), and then also בבנינו ובבנותינו (with our sons and daughters)? Isn’t that just repetitive? 

Malbim suggest that “with our youths and with our elders” was a general response meaning “We are all going,” but then he turned to Pharaoh and was very specific. To you, Pharaoh, this may seem contradictory, but to us there is no contradiction. We cannot properly celebrate with our God, unless everyone, including our women and children are with us. 

Netziv writes, “Everyone is obligated to serve God like the men (who Pharaoh felt were the only ones who had an obligation). While it may be true that the children are not involved in our service of God, but we will nevertheless be going with them (they are coming too!), for this is what a celebration of our God is: It is SIMCHA (joyous), and we are incapable of rejoicing when we are without our sons and daughters…”

R Shimon Sofer/Shreiber (grandson of Chasam Sofer) wrote, “It is known that the main people involved in the service are the adult males and the older sons – both to bring offerings, and to foster a celebratory feeling with their sons and daughters… [but] when it comes to traveling the little boys and girls go first, followed by the older children, and then the fathers, so the youngsters can be supervised and watched. If the fathers go in front, who is watching those who are following behind them? [Explaining the cantellation marks on בבנינו ובבנותינו…] Moshe was indicating that our youths and our elderly are the most important, and that our sons and daughters walk first." 

Moshe Rabbenu was teaching Pharaoh, and setting for the record for us to remember as well, that we ought not misplace our true priorities. We should be blessed to hear the sounds of children in our shuls. And may we, like Rav Amital, never be bothered by the noises of children. They are, after all, the only hope for our future.

Strengthen the Heart – To Have Free Will

Parshat Va'era 

 

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

The Torah mentions “ויחזק ה' את לב פרעה” three times in the latter plagues (9:12; 10:20,27), indicating God’s role in strengthened Pharaoh’s resolve to not let his slaves leave. One of the more difficult questions we are faced with as we contemplate this evidence is “Did God remove Pharaoh’s free will?” 

The crux of the question boils down to how we translate ויחזק, and what God in fact did to Pharaoh’s heart. The word can literally be translated to mean “and He strengthened,” which is arguably a better translation than “and He hardened.” 

Giving Pharaoh strength can be understood in at least three very different ways. It could be making him more stubborn, it could be giving him the strength to not give in to his own fears, it could be removing his free will. 

Ramban notes that Pharaoh lost the right to have free will under these circumstances because a. he went above and beyond anything tasked of him in enslaving Avraham’s descendants, and b. he indicated through his personal stubbornness in the first 5 plagues that he didn’t believe in the God of the Hebrews and that he was unwilling to let Israel leave to worship their God in the wilderness. 

This is not a complete absolution of the challenge created in removing Pharaoh’s free will. However, perhaps the idea of “giving him the strength to not give in to his own fears” is a direction we can better relate to in our understanding of this tale. 

When Pharaoh responded to Moshe and told him “Who is Hashem that I should listen to Him? I do not know Hashem. And I will also not send Israel out” (5:2) the focus of the plagues became answering that question. One need not look too hard to see this play itself out throughout the plagues. See the following verses: 7:5,17; 8:6,18; 9:14, 9:29 

Pharaoh or his sorcerers indicate a belief that God wrought the plagues in the following verses: 8:4,15,21,24; (9:7?), 9:27-28, 10:16-17. 

In essence, the need to give Pharaoh strength, then, is less about giving him resolve and stubbornness, as much as it is about giving him the ability to make a clear decision that Hashem is in charge of the world, that Pharaoh understands Who He is, and that giving permission to Israel to leave comes from that recognition and a place of personal peace, more than from a place that says “I am being pressured to let the slaves go.” Religious coercion is never really a good thing. 

How many times does Pharaoh let the Israelites leave? 8:4 (during frogs), 8:21-24 (during arbeh), 9:27-28 (during hail), 10:8-11 (before locusts), 10:24-26 (during darkness), 12:31-33 (during plague of Firstborn). In five of those six times he changes his mind. In only two of those times does God “strengthen his heart.” That is hardly a pattern of God removing free will. 

“[Pharaoh] sent for Moses and Aaron during the night. 'Get moving!' he said. 'Get out from among my people - you and the Israelites! Go! Worship God just as you demanded! Take your sheep and cattle, just as you said! Go! Bless me too!' (12:31-32). Note that Pharaoh does not say “Worship YOUR God.” He simply says “Worship God.” This means that he learned the lesson. 

What we see from Pharaoh’s “journey” is that he comes around to the notion that God runs the world. He may have his own need to process the idea that his slaves don’t really belong to him, and that their need to be free is really the most basic human right that he is simply withholding because he has lost sight of what human dignity is. 

Go through the text in these chapters, and see if you can find when “the nation” is mentioned, and see if you can determine the difference between Israelites and Egyptians. Who, for example are עבדי פרעה and עבדיו?  

(See 7:10, 7:20, 8:20,25, 9:20, 10:1, 10:7, 11:3,8, 14:5-6) These servants/slaves do not seem to be Israelites. Is anyone in Egypt truly free? 

Pharaoh’s emotional upheaval and personal transformation would certainly make for a great psychology study. How much can one man take? How many hits can his ego swallow before he comes to the realization that Hashem is fighting for Israel, that this is an unfair fight, and that his best move would be to accept the reality he is now facing? 

This is where strength from the Almighty comes in. And so Hashem gives him strength. ויחזק ה' את לב פרעה. 

The history of the world has shown that God runs the world. He has His ways, we don’t always understand. Mankind has been through wonderful times and terrible times. While those not religiously inclined, or those cynical of God’s role in the world might blame God for famine, drought, pestilence, disease, floods, storms, etc., the God-fearing look at everything that takes place and says “God is always reminding us that He is running things.” Perhaps the God-fearing even blame Man for causing God to bring these and other calamities upon us. God has an infinite number of ways of proving this, over and over and over, and somehow, too many of our fellow humans aim, like Pharaoh, to come up with natural explanations, or to blame God for being anything but benevolent. 

But the opposite is the case. The simple definition of a free society is that you can do, think, and say what you want, you can engage in mutually acceptable transactions, and you can’t do anything that deliberately hurts another person. (Of course there are many asterisks and explanations that can go with that.) There needs to be a basic respect for human dignity of the other – which should go in both directions – without looking to blame good and decent people for everything that’s wrong with society. 

At the same time, we must recognize that some of the worst travesties that have befallen humankind were manmade – whether wars and weapons of mass destruction, biological weapons, and certain failed efforts at responding to disease. 

When we see plagues in the Torah, whether in Egypt or in the wilderness, we know that no amount of human intervention would have stopped what God had unleashed. What stopped plagues? In Egypt, it was either the plague running its course, Moshe’s prayer, or Pharaoh coming to the realization that God is in charge and human beings need to be free. In the wilderness, the plagues ended either a. when all who were supposed to die died (it ran its course), b. when Aharon stood heroically with a firepan of ketores, c. when people looked at a copper snake, d. when Pinchas killed Zimri and Kozbi. The people who got involved were divinely inspired – not human beings thinking they could outsmart God. 

Rather than viewing Pharaoh’s experience as a loss of free will, I prefer to see Pharaoh’s heart being strengthened as his being gifted the ability to see through his pain and suffering to come to the realization that Hashem is in charge. It is true that God once again strengthened Pharaoh’s heart in Parshat Beshalach (see 14:4,8,17), but to what goal? They (Pharaoh and his army) needed to have the resolve to overcome their own fears of what might happen again, in order to come to the penultimate conclusion that God is truly in charge (see 14:25), even if that realization only comes in the moment before they drown. 

Ironically though, Israel also needed to learn this (see 6:9-13). Israel was not ready to accept that God was indeed on the cusp of redeeming them. Moshe needed several messages of support, and several instructions to go back to Israel to convince them that he was truly sent by God to redeem them. Perhaps, deep in the traumatized minds of slaves, they don’t want to be free. But God had promised their forefathers, and was not about to reneg on His promise simply because His children were enslaved in their minds as well as in their bodies. 

Our task is to remember our creed. There is a teaching from our Sages, “There is none who is as free as one who engages in Torah.” Using a Gemara in Brachos 17a, Rabbi Zev Leff explained this notion very simply. The Torah makes a person free – because all a person wants to do is serve the Ribbono Shel Olam. 

The free person does what he or she wants to do. For the Jew, who wants to follow God’s will, the task is simple. Choose Godliness, follow the Torah, engage with mitzvos, respect your fellow Man. 

If only we were to have our hearts “strengthened” in the way that Pharaoh’s was strengthened, so we could see through our own free will that God is in charge, and that where we go from here is up to Him, and not in the hands of Man, would we truly be free! 

Choose God. Choose the Torah. Everything else is a distraction from our task at hand – to be servants of the Almighty, and to want to do His will, in as free a manner as should be available to us, under the wings and protection of the Divine.

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

   This Shabbos our shul was one of 50 synagogues around the country participating in a special awareness Shabbat dedicated to difficulties with pregnancy. “In Shifra’s Arms” is a wonderful organization dedicated to assisting women through an unexpected or “unwanted” pregnancy, through stress or emotional distress in the pregnancy, with financial assistance or planning for those who worry they can’t afford the baby, and with counseling. There are similar organizations in Israel (Just One Life, Efrat C.R.I.B.) that focus their energies in this same way. In Shifra’s Arms is US-based. Their services are provided free of charge. See more here for the special weekend: https://jewishpregnancyhelp.org/get-involved/shifra-shabbat/

   Please also take note of these two write-ups, sharing more of In Shifra’s Arms’ work:

1) https://www.aish.com/jw/s/Jewish_Unplanned_Pregnancy.html 

2) https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/how-would-shifra-help-a-jewish-response-to-unplanned-pregnancy/

   More than anything, an awareness weekend is meant to share information that may be helpful to share with those who don’t know about it. The hope is that if anyone knows of someone who is having a hard time with a pregnancy, to of course be as supportive as possible, but also to let them know that there are profesionals out there who want to help them. Send them to jewishpregnancyhelp.org!

 

Parshat Shemot

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Having recently started teaching classes on the Book of Shmuel, the opening chapter is very much on my mind. One of the themes which comes out in that chapter (which is also the Haftorah of the first day of Rosh Hashana) is the conflict between Elkanah’s co-wives, Chana and Peninah, over Chana’s lack of children, versus Peninah’s abundance of children. 

In all honesty, the whole tale is sad to analyze because from one perspective it seems so petty. From another perspective there seems to be nastiness. And from what is arguably the Rosh Hashana perspective, there is pain, anguish, hope, and ultimately personal redemption. 

One wonders what Chana had in mind when she married Elkanah. Was she planning to be the only wife? Did Elkanah marry her first or second? Did she anticipate having a large family – many children? 

The inspiration that comes to us from her story, from her pain and almost despair, is that she lets Hashem carry her. She clearly has a very personal relationship with Hashem. She speaks to Him – we only hear one sentence of her initial prayer, but the verse indicates that her prayer went on and on. What does it mean to pray to the Almighty without repose? Are we even able to pray using our own words? We are so conditioned to using a Siddur, perhaps many of us would be unable to come up with our own words in any manner that would seem adequate and coherent before God. 

Chana’s youthful plans, hopes and dreams are unknown to us. But we can certainly venture to guess that things did not seem to be working out for her by the time we are introduced to her in Shmuel I chapter 1. Similarly, we can equally surmise that with all the “fruitfulness, teeming, increasing, becoming very strong and filling the land” (ala Shemos 1:7) Bnei Yisrael had plans for their existence in Egypt which unexpectedly came to a halt with the arrival of the new king (1:8). 

How do we deal with situations that don’t go our way? 

One can only imagine Shifra and Puah – there is plenty of debate among the commentaries whether they were Egyptians or Israelites, whether these were their real names or pseudonyms – as midwives, what was their drive? What kept them going? Presumably, the desire to participate in bringing life into this world, as much and as often as possible. 

There is something miraculous about seeing a child through the birth process. There is something miraculous about experiencing the newness of human life – the way the fetus grows and develops, and the miracle of how it is born. All of these things must fascinate the midwife. And much much more. 

So, for them to hear Pharaoh’s order that they had to kill babies? Rabbi J.H. Hertz argued against their being Hebrew slaves: “It is hardly probable that the king would have expected Hebrew women to slay the children of their own people.” 

These women were God-fearing, and they opted to choose life for “their babies,” to not succumb to an immoral king hell-bent on infanticide for his own paranoid and tyrannical reasons. 

B’chor Shor argues they were rewarded with wealth, honor, and fertility. The Midrash notes they were rewarded with the houses of Kingship, Priesthood, and Levi families. Ironically though, many commentaries are of the view that “And he made them houses” (1:21) refers to Pharaoh who placed new Egyptian homes in between Israelites homes so they would hear when babies would be born to the Hebrews, so they could report KGB-style to the authorities. Another view is that the midwives were imprisoned – “house arrest.” 

Which one is it? 

The challenge of delving through commentaries is that we don’t know which is “the truth.” Our job is to learn lessons from all of the teachings and apply them as best as possible to our experience. 

No matter what happened, the midwives continued to do what midwives do – support the mother, protect the baby. If other Egyptians came to throw the baby in the river, that was not the doing of the midwives, no matter who they were. 

And what of the Israelites? Their plans to live peacefully, to grow their families, their community, their nation, etc. was challenged. We know the story of how baby Moshe survived. Was he the only one who managed to survive, or were there other creative mothers and protectors of babies who met with similar success in saving their children? We don’t know. I like to think there were others – we just don’t hear of them, because those babies did not become Moshe Rabbenu. 

Every generation likely has the opportunity to say “we live in challenging times.” Perhaps these past 10 months have brought our “challenging time” to a different level. But there are still people suffering infertility, like Chana, and there are still women who face all kinds of challenges to their pregnancy – though hopefully none need to worry about Pharaoh’s orders to have their baby thrown into the Nile. 

One interpretation of Shifra and Puah is that their names’ meanings simply describe how they related to and cared for the baby and the mother. 

And that, perhaps more than anything, is the takeaway lesson from this awareness Shabbat.

(see jewishpregnancyhelp.org)  At the end of his thank you speech when he was roasted by his fellow celebrities, under the hostmanship of Dean Martin, Don Rickles gave a blessing to everyone present – as he acknowledged his unique voice and contribution to comedy and his gratitude that people understood his humor, especially through his early days when he was trying to make it, and struggled, as many do at the beginning of their careers – “To all of you, I wish you what I have… people around you, who care.”

When we are going through difficult times – any difficult times – if we can find the strength to reach out to our friends, we will likely often find “People who care,” who want to help in whatever way they can. 

May we be blessed, like Chana was, to have Hashem hear our prayers. And may all those who need help find their Shifras and Puahs – professionals in the line of work where the need is great, who are, most importantly, people who can help because they are “people who care.”

Each of Us is Yaakov and Yisrael

Parshat Vaychi 

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Over the last few years, our shul has joined the National Association of Chevra Kadisha’s TEAM Shabbos (TEAM stands for Traditional End-of-Life Awareness Movement). As the parsha focuses on the deaths and burial plans of both Yaakov and Yosef, NASCK (National Association of Chevra Kadishas) has a particular push to encourage in-ground burial, per our tradition, in a time when nearly 50% of Jews either opt for an above-ground resting place, or even more common, cremation. In addition to talking of burial plans, once the door is opened, NASCK raises awareness on other related topics, including having a halakhic will, an ethical will, signing an EMES (Emergency Medical Education Sign-Up) card. This latter card helps navigate the thorny road of MOLSTs, POLSTs, Health Care Proxies, Advance Directives, and Post-Mortem Agents. 

The NASCK website – nasck.org – is a great resource for your perusal. Hopefully it will come in handy for purposes meaningful to those who search through it. 

We all know we will not live forever. The more we plan while we are alive, the easier it will be for those who will be concerning themselves with our final journeys. It may not be a comfortable thought process, but knowing there are people available to help guide us, hold our hands (so to speak), and navigate the conversations should at least give us the confidence to open the door to discussing these most important topics and decisions with those who should be in those conversations. 

Yaakov Avinu clearly thought about these things long before he was on his deathbed. While he may have waited to have the conversations we witness in our parsha, he does state that before he even left Canaan he prepared his burial plot. Considering he’s been living in Egypt for 17 years, that means he did this at least 17 years earlier, if not at Yitzchak’s funeral or Leah’s funeral (though we don’t know when Leah died). 

The parsha begins telling us that “Yaakov lived in Egypt for 17 years…” and continues in the second verse saying “And the days of Yisrael came closer to death…” 

Some, such as Ramban and the Midrash Sechel Tov, and even the first opinion recorded by Rabbenu Bachaye, suggest that the Torah simply goes back and forth between these two names, and there is no particular significance if we see the third Patriarch referred to as either Yaakov or Yisrael. Midrash Sechel Tov refers to the verse in 46:2 “And God said to Yisrael in a nocturnal vision, and He said ‘Yaakov, Yaakov…’” to prove that God equated the two names. 

Rabbenu Bachaye divides his interpretation of Yisrael’s impending death into different approaches. The simple understanding was noted in the previous paragraph. He continues describing the “Derech HaSechel” (the manner of intellect), that “Yaakov” refers to the Middos HaGuf (qualities of the physical body), and “Yisrael” refers to the Middos HaNefesh (qualities of the soul). While we can’t ignore or stop paying attention to the needs of the Middos HaGuf, the main focus should be on Middos HaNefesh. Basing his teaching in a Talmudic statement from Brachos 13, “It is not that Yaakov’s name should be uprooted, but that Yisrael should be the main name (and qualities), and the Yaakov name should be secondary to it.

 וכל מי שעושה מדות הגוף עיקר ומדות הנפש טפל שהיא עבודת ה' יתברך, הנה הוא ממית את נפשו

“And anyone who makes the concerns of the physical body the priority, and the qualities of the soul secondary, which is the service of Hashem-the-Blessed-One, that person makes his soul perish.” 

 It should give us pause to consider that any effort curtailing making soul-pursuits a top priority is not grounded in Judaism or a Torah-way. 

The name “Yaakov” appears in the context of the material items, and “Yisrael” comes in the context of simple, meritorious and spiritual items. 

The days of “Yaakov” are physical days, but when “Yisrael” is coming close to death it is because that will be the beginning of what is a complete Chayei Nefesh (spiritual existence) in the World to Come. When one reads through the verses in the beginning of the parsha, every time he is referenced in the context of his sickbed or deathbed, he is “Yisrael.” “Yaakov” instructs his family in physical matters – his not being called Yisrael is because in that moment “The divine presence had left him” – but Yisrael goes through all the motions of dying. 

Along similar lines, Alshikh argues that he was “Yaakov” when he fathered his children (he was called Yisrael only after all but Binyamin had been born), and that component of whatever made him Yaakov at that point in his life never left him, even after he became Yisrael. This is one explanation of the Talmudic sentiment that claims “Yaakov” never died. (Alshikh notes that Yaakov experienced גויעה, while Yisrael experienced מיתה – but that’s a different topic!) He continues, suggesting that whatever “extra” came upon him along with the name Yisrael is what left him when he died – to go to the World of Truth. Everything that “Yaakov” brought to him remained with him – it is still a part of him. 

Every person is born to parents, given a name, and is hopefully raised in a warm, loving environment. Each of us is a product of our environment in some manner, and as we grow into ourselves and develop the identity handed to us, we become our own equivalent of what Yaakov was. 

But life isn’t meant to be a ride that ends with coasting and becoming stagnant. We are meant to evolve, to grow, especially spiritually and in our relationship with Hashem. For Yaakov, that is what his “Yisrael” identity represented – the side which was aimed at getting closer and closer to Hashem throughout his life. 

When we put some thought to end-of-life plans, we also ought to think about how we LIVE OUT the latter parts of our lives. Yaakov LIVED in Egypt – he made the MOST of his time there. He enhanced his relationships with his children and grandchildren, and made plenty of room to bring God into the equation. 

While his job was to focus on his own spiritual growth, there is no doubt that he kvelled in seeing the spiritual growths achieved and attained by Yosef, Efraim, Menashe, and everyone else he was privileged to observe and relate to in his years in Egypt. 

May that be our blessing – to build up our original identity (our “Yaakov”), but even moreso to enhance the identity we create for ourselves through maturation and life experience, especially and most notably with regard to our spiritual pursuits (our “Yisrael”). We know we can’t take anything physical with us when our physical time on earth ends. But we will have to answer for how we used our time to enhance our ruchnius, and build up the name we created for ourselves, for which we are most proud.