by Rabbi Avi Billet
Rabbi Akiva famously said “V’ahavta L’Reiakha Kamokha” is an important principle of the Torah. This statement is attributed to him in a number of places – including Yerushalmi Nedarim 9:4. In Bereishis Rabba 24, the statement continues with Rabbi Akiva explaining, so you will not say, “Since I’ve been embarrassed my friend should be embarrassed with me. Since I’ve been cursed, my friend should be cursed with me.”
Obviously the concern for one’s fellow is to uplift, and not to try to bring down along with one’s own failures.
[I suppose I could go on and point to how anti-Semitism points to the Jews as the root of all evil, when people are usually looking for a scapegoat for the inadequacies in their own lives. God told Kayin in chapter 4 of Bereishis, when Kayin was subsumed with jealousy over Hevel’s offering being preferred over his own, “You can do better! If not, sin is crouching at the door, and it can consume you, unless you overpower it.” If only those shouting their anti-Semitic epithets were capable of looking in the mirror and discovering their own inadequacies, and how they alone have the power to improve their situation.]
The Artscroll Chumash provides a nice summary from HaKsav V’Hakabbalah on “how to love another.”
• Your affection for others should be real, not feigned
• Always treat others with respect
• Always seek the best for them
• Join in their pain
• Greet them with friendliness
• Give them the benefit of the doubt
• Assist them physically, even in matters that are not very difficult
• Be ready to assist with small or moderate loans and gifts
• Do not consider yourself better than them
There are many interpretations of this mitzvah, and what it means to “love your neighbor as yourself.” What follows are a number of interpretations, from some of the classic commentaries on the Torah to other sources where the verse is quoted for a related purpose. Sometimes the focus might be on the simple text chosen – such as that it is written לרעך, rather than את רעך, as will become clear below.
Netziv: This can’t be interpreted literally for we know that your life always comes before that of your friend. And everyone understands that no one is going to think or even expect that his friend will love him more than he loves himself. There are natural limits we create. Therefore the explanation is to look at the context of this phrase, going back to the warning in the beginning of the verse. If you do something bad to someone you’d hate it if they did it back to you – so too you should think before you do something bad… Revenge is like if a person is cutting meat and the hand holding the knife is not careful and it cuts the person’s other hand. Would the person take the injured hand and punish the hand holding the knife?... In other words, if somebody already did something to you, don’t take revenge. “Kamokha” means “as you” for all of Israel has one soul.
This interpretation of Netziv is reminiscent of Hillel’s famous teaching to the potential convert who wanted to learn all of the Torah while standing on one foot: “What is hateful unto you do not do to others. The rest of the Torah is explanation – go study.”
R Samson Raphael Hirsch: “L’Rei’Akha” does not refer to the other person’s individuality or personality. It refers to “all that comes to your friend.” We have to love and respect all that comes to our friends – ask about his health and well-being, be happy about his success and sad about his failures, help out when it is needed, try to relieve him of his difficulties or comfort him when he is in [emotional] pain…
Rashbam: You only have to love him if he’s your friend, and if he’s a good person. But if he is evil, “Fear of God includes hating evil.” (Proverbs 8:13)
Ibn Ezra: Love the good of your neighbor as you love your own soul
Chizkuni: You should love to do him a favor, just as you would love if he’d do you a favor.
Seforno: Love things about your friend that you’d love if you were in his shoes.
Siftei Kohen: One who loves his friend who is created in the image of God, loves God and honors Him.
All of the above focus very simply on how one can have positive feelings towards another, and obviously does not cost anything.
Maimonides, Laws of Mourning 14:1: The commandments to visit the sick, comfort the mourner, tend to the dead, bring the bride to her wedding, accompany guests as they leave, make funeral arrangements, carry the coffin, eulogize; to bring joy to bride and groom and to provide them with their needs – these are all kindness that one performs with one’s body, and they have no limits. They are all included in the category of “V’Ahavta L’Rei’Akha Kamokha.” Indeed, anything you’d like others to do for you, you should make efforts to do to your brother in Torah and mitzvoth.
Unlike some of the previous interpretations, Rambam here is putting the Mitzvah into actions, most specifically kindnesses one does for one’s fellow Jew. He goes more into the feelings one is to have in the next source.
Maimonides Dei’ot 6:3: There is a commandment to love every Jew like your own body as it says “V’Ahavta L’Rei’Akha Kamokha.” Therefore a person must tell of the other’s praises and care for his money just as he cares for his own money and desires his own honor. One who is honored due to his friend’s dishonor has no share in the World to Come.
Following a theme which is discussed among the commentaries on the Shulchan Arukh as to how one is to engage with one’s fellow Jew in business and commerce, we find this discussion surrounding the mitzvah at hand:
Magen Avraham 156:2 : There is a commandment to love every Jew as your own body, as it says “V’Ahavta L’Rei’Akha Kamokha.” But this refers specifically to your neighbor in Torah and mitzvoth. But a wicked person who does not accept rebuke – there is a commandment to hate him. (Arvei Pesachim 113) Tosafot there implies that nonetheless it is a commandment to talk with him to try to get him to change his ways lest you come to completely hate him [which is a negative quality.]
The next source demonstrates how the opposite of fulfilling the mitzvah, hating one’s neighbor, could spiral out of control into terrible sins.
Sifrei Devarim 187:11: If you hate your neighbor, you may come to do harm to him. From here we learn that if you violate a light commandment, you’ll come to violate a serious one. Violate “V’Ahavta L’Rei’Akha Kamokha” and you’ll come to violate “Do not take revenge or bear a grudge” and “Do not hate your brother in your heart” and “Your brother shall live with you” to the point you may resort to murder.
Otzar Midrashim page 274: Regarding friendship: A person should “love” other creatures, as it says “V’Ahavta L’Rei’Akha Kamokha.” The word “L’Rei’Akha” and not “Et Rei’Akha” comes to teach that the Torah obligates us towards love and to desire for one’s friend all that he loves and desires for himself.
Clearly, the obligations to our fellow Jews are up for debate. One way that may be helpful, just beyond the summary given to us by HaKsav V’Hakabbalah, is to give people a pass for their imperfections, just as we are aware of our own imperfections and will readily explain them away and not judge ourselves for them. If we can accept ourselves, “warts and all,” so should we be accepting of others and their flaws, looking past the “bad” in order to focus on their “good.”
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