by Rabbi Avi Billet
Our parsha opens with Yaakov sending a message to Eisav telling him of his experiences at Lavan’s house and the wealth which is accompanying him on his return to the land of Canaan. His messengers return with the news that “Eisav is coming to you, accompanied by 400 men.” Not knowing Eisav’s intent Yaakov’s initial reaction is described in the Torah in this way: ויירא יעקב מאד ויצר לו – and Yaakov was very afraid and it distressed him.
While most of the commentaries focus on what he feared and what distressed him, Netziv suggests that “that fear fell upon him distressed him, because from this he understood that badness was facing him.” [Alshikh similarly notes: וזהו ויירא ויצר לו על המורא] The idea that the fear itself distressed him is rather compelling because כבר אמר החכם העבר אין העתיד עדיין דאגה מנין – the wise one said ‘the past is gone, the future hasn’t happened yet, why worry?’ (see Piskei Teshuvot 230, footnote 20)
What was really bothering Yaakov?
Rashi says he was afraid he’d be killed and it distressed him that he might be forced to kill others. This view is suggested by many midrashim, and many commentaries use it as a starting point for their discussion on this verse, varying only in who Yaakov was afraid he may end up killing, Eisav himself or Eisav’s men (Gur Aryeh), many of whom may have had no skin in the fight but were brought there by force by Eisav (Siftei Chachamim indicates that Eisav’s men may have been instructed only to kill Yaakov’s men and not to touch Yaakov). The Pesikta adds that if Yaakov were to kill Eisav it would be a public relations nightmare, his killing someone who has been a. living in Eretz Yisrael, and b. most honoring his aged parents (see also Targum Yonatan). (Rashi later suggests Yaakov was concerned that “the sin” would cause him to have fewer merits – the sin being that he was away from home for 20 years.) Another possibility raised by the Pesikta is that Yaakov had passed the place where he made his vow (Bet El) and did not fulfill his vow by giving a 10th to the Almighty yet, putting him in a sinful position of not keeping his promise to God.
An additional concern raised by the Midrash Sechel Tov is that if Eisav is indeed coming to kill Yaakov, that could mean that Eisav’s commitment “When my father dies I will kill my brother” has come to pass, meaning Yitzchak has died and Yaakov will never see his father again (Daat Zekenim as well).
Or HaChaim puts Yaakov’s dilemma in this way: Yaakov was afraid of not preparing for a fight, as Eisav might be coming to fight so Yaakov best be prepared for a confrontation. But it distressed him because perhaps Eisav had no evil intent at all, and were he to see Yaakov all dressed up for battle Eisav would come to the conclusion that Yaakov intends to do harm to him and his men, which would reawaken his hatred for Yaakov, which he had gotten over some time earlier. Chizkuni focuses on the stress of not knowing Eisav’s plans. [This is how he explains Yaakov’s two camps – one demonstrating love and affection and the other prepared for war.] B’chor Shor essentially paints this dilemma as a fear of the unknown. He was afraid and distressed simply because he did not know what to do! Ramban adds that since Yaakov’s messengers carried no return message from Eisav, their report was additionally distressing.
Chizkuni goes in a different direction, focusing on the word מלאך, suggesting that while Yaakov had the angel Micha’el advocating for him and accompanying him, but Eisav had the angel Sama’el advocating for him and accompanying him.
Ro”sh suggests that Yaakov alone had the merit when he crossed the Jordan alone just with a walking stick. Now that he has the responsibility of his entire family PLUS all his servants and animals, he does not know if his merit alone suffices to protect anyone else or certainly everyone else! Rabbenu Bachaye holds that he was simply worried for his family members, as anyone who faces uncertainty for them would worry. As Baal HaTurim notes – Yaakov was promised his children would be numerous – but perhaps that promise would be fulfilled through children not yet born.
Alshikh paints Yaakov as having a series of unknowns.
1. Has Eisav’s anger subsided and has he let the past be forgotten? (This is why Yaakov sent messengers)
2. When the messengers reported about the 400 men, would Eisav wait to kill him until after Yitzchak’s death as he had indicated, and instead take out all his wrath now against Yaakov’s belongings and family?
3. Would Eisav’s merits (living in the Land, honoring his parents) be to his benefit in any confrontation?
The Maharal asks how Yaakov could be afraid if, as the Talmud states, everything that God does is for the best! This would even include Eisav using his free will to kill Yaakov, because even if it goes against God’s wishes, God won’t stop a person from using his free will! [He doesn’t give a clear answer.
Bringing a most practical approach, Kli Yakar is of the view that Yaakov’s fear came from what he had just done (see opening paragraph above), in that he had sent messengers to Eisav to essentially flatter him into thinking that fighting with Yaakov was not in anyone’s best interest. The Talmud (Sotah 41b) quotes Rabbi Elazar as saying that anyone who flatters his friend will eventually fall into his friend’s hands. Between describing his wealth and referring to Eisav as his master and himself as the servant, Yaakov may have gone too far in flattering a person not deserving of that level of flattery, thus putting himself at risk from God’s perspective.
Malbim writes: “one who trusts in God need not fear a human being. Fear demonstrates that a person doesn’t have proper trust in God. Specficially because Yaakov had a promise/gurarantee from God and should not have been afraid, and because God doesn’t make miracles outside of nature happen for anyone except those with exceptional trust in Him, Yaakov’s becoming afraid distressed him very much because he knew he was unworthy of having miracles happen for himself” as perhaps happened to Avraham Avinu.
We all have stresses in life. These messages from the commentaries remind us that when we put our trust in God and dispense with worrying (not at all easy) we are demonstrating a sincere belief that He will carry us through to where we need to be. Not every road is smooth, not every path predictable.
Yaakov took his unpredictable path, and as Chatam Sofer, Rabbenu Bachaye and Malbim put it, he made the preparations he felt necessary to demonstrate how a person prepares for what it seemingly unknown.
It is certainly true that uncertainty and unknowns can be frightening, in so many aspects of the human experience. Most of the time we ignore them – for example, we likely don’t think we’ll get into a car accident every time we step behind a wheel.
We can learn from Yaakov, however, that stressing over unknowns when we think about them doesn’t help as much as having a plan of action, and having a trust in God that He will pull us through.
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