Nine Days Rules To Wean us INTO Mourning

 Here is a link to the summary of Nine Days rules I shared 6 years ago. It was for a year in which Tisha B'Av was observed on Sunday. [It is a little more comprehensive than what is presented this year, below. But what is below reflects on when Tisha B'Av is observed on a Tuesday - as it is this year.]

Summary of Laws of the Nine Days 

 When Rosh Chodesh Av begins this Sunday night (8/4) (Rosh Chodesh is Sunday night and Monday), the days which follow - through Tisha B’Av - are observed as a time of mourning. Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik compared the mourning of these 9 days to the style of mourning for a Shloshim period – the 30 days following the death of a loved one. As such, the mourning practices of this period are intended to be a little stricter than the days which began on 17 Tammuz, to help us be more prepared for the ultimate day of mourning, Tisha B’Av. 

 The Shulchan Arukh notes that these observances are primarily during the “Shavua She’chal Bo” (the week in which Tisha B’Av falls), which begins Saturday night (this year 8/10). This is indeed the Sephardic practice. Ashkenazim observe a period of Nine Days to more pointedly mark the mourning of this period on the calendar. When Tisha B’Av falls on Thursday, the observances end Friday morning (some even say Thursday night) so we can adequately prepare for Shabbos. When it falls on Shabbos and is observed on Sunday, the observances end when “Tisha B’Av” ends (because it is now the eleventh). When Tisha B’Av falls on Sunday or Tuesday, the Nine Days rules conclude at midday of the 10th of Av, with some possible exceptions. 

DURING THE NINE DAYS HAIRCUTS and SHAVING 

 1. We do not take haircuts. Regarding shaving the face - it is preferred to avoid shaving as well. If one must shave for a medical reason, then it is permitted. Some permit shaving for business purposes. A man who could feasibly avoid shaving without suffering life-repercussions (such as loss of business) should not shave, as he would if observing “Shloshim” for a close relative. 

WEARING FRESHLY LAUNDERED CLOTHING 

 2. We do not wear new or freshly laundered clothes, even if they were laundered or cleaned prior to the beginning of Av. This law applies to all nicer outer clothing (perhaps even to more casual weekday clothes!), which can be made unfresh through wearing them briefly before the Nine Days begin, or through stepping on them. This rule does NOT apply to undergarments, which may be fresh and changed daily. 

 CLEANING DIRTY CLOTHES – “DOING THE LAUNDRY” 

3. In general, laundering of all clothing is forbidden during the nine days, even if they are set aside for use after the nine days. There are exceptions to this rule when it comes to if one owns only one garment for Shabbos (it may be washed on Thursday or Friday). Children who run out of clean clothes may have their clothes laundered. If towels are needed and are unclean, they may be cleaned. Laundering for a mitzvah, such as a woman observing laws of family purity, is permitted. [The reasoning behind the prohibition is to avoid being distracted from the mourning of this period of time. There is what to be said about how we do laundry – with a machine and a push of a button – and that it is not a significant distraction. Nevertheless, the custom is to be strict, and therefore to aim to do all laundry loads before the Nine Days begin. In detracting from our “simcha” we are looking to avoid the joy that comes from freshly laundered clothing. Refraining from doing the laundry helps us avoid the challenge of ‘not wearing fresh clothes.’ It is not as much that laundering in the manner we do is forbidden, as much as the “simcha” which comes from laundering it to be avoided.] 

RESTRICTIONS ON MEAT AND WINE AND EXCEPTIONS 

4. We do not eat meat or drink wine except on Shabbos, or at a Seudas Mitzvah, such as a siyum, bris, or pidyon haBen. However, these kinds of events are supposed to limit their crowd to family members of those celebrating (despite the common (mistaken) practice to have a siyum to allow hundreds of people to eat meat). 

 HAVDALAH 

5. It is customary to make Havdalah this coming Saturday night on a non-wine (Borei Pri HaGafen) beverage such as beer (remember to say a Shehakol blessing!). If there is no beer, wine may be used, ideally having a child drink. If a child is not present, the person who made the blessing on the wine should drink it. 

 WASHING, SWIMMING, PLEASURE v REHAB/HEALTH 

6. We do not wash ourselves for pleasure during this period. But we do wash for necessity and hygiene. Therefore: 

 • One who is accustomed to taking a very hot shower should lower the temperature. 

 • One who is accustomed to taking a longer shower should take a shorter shower, to take care of basic necessities of hygiene and cleanliness, and then exit. For those who skip showers during the Nine Days, it is nevertheless permissible to wash as normal (as listed in the bullets above) in preparation for Shabbos. 

7. Recreational swimming is not recommended during the Nine Days. However, if one needs to use the pool for exercise, rehab, or specific health-related reasons, there is room for leniency. 

 8. Women use the Mikveh during the Nine Days (except on Tisha B’Av) and may take the necessary bath to prepare for it 

 MUSIC AND WEDDINGS 

9. While there are varying degrees of restricting one’s music consumption during the 3 Weeks, invariably it is appropriate to further tone down one’s deliberate pursuit of listening to music. 

10. While we do not conduct weddings, people may get engaged during the 9 days. 

SHABBOS CHAZON 

11. During Shabbos of the Nine Days (Shabbos Chazon), one may invite small groups of friends for meals, but should avoid having a larger gathering at home. Some are a little more strict when Tisha B’Av falls on Shabbos and is observed on Sunday, which is not the case this year. 

12. There is a custom (not law) to sing L’kha Dodi to the tune of “Eli Tzion” (the last kinah of Tisha B’av). To get in the mood, some do this for Shir Ha’maalot at the meal as well. [It also fits for the paragraph of “y’ru es Hashem” at the end of the complete Birkat Hamazon.] 

 13. This summary does not cover all of the rules of this time period. The main idea is to minimize joy, and to avoid joyous kinds of activities that can be delayed until after Tisha B’Av. As Tisha B’Av will be on Tuesday, most 9 Days restrictions extend through Wednesday midday. Those will be included in the summary rules of Tisha B’Av, to be shared next week.