by Rabbi Avi Billet
Tuesday morning many
of us awoke to the news that the Shabak – Israel’s FBI – did their due
diligence, and the IDF finished the job on the barbarians who kidnapped and
murdered 3 teens in Israel this summer. The perps were not arrested. They will
never be freed in a prisoner exchange. Baruch Hashem.
Were we to take a
look back at the year that was 5774, many of us would probably look at the
events of the summer in Israel, and the backlash that continues to send EuropeanJews to seek safer locations for their families, as the defining moments of the
year for the Jewish people.
The kidnapping of
Naftali Frankel, Eyal Yifrach and Gilad Shaer, HYD, the weeks that followed
their kidnapping, and the uncertainty of their safety, which culminated with
the discovery that they had been dead all along, and of course the summertime
war which followed – which while damaging to Hamas – cost Israel 67 soldiers
and 5 civilians, as well as hundreds wounded.
We were in camp, and
it was actually visiting day when I started getting reports that the ground
invasion had begun, and that 13 soldiers had already been killed. I had been
looking forward to seeing people, but I was inconsolable. I am sure many here
cried many times over the summer. Not just over the loss of Israel’s sons,
brothers and fathers, but over how Israel was demonized in the media.
And the Arab
anti-Semitism that has emerged in Europe, as well as the noted hate-incidents
recorded in this country and in Canada, also served our collective memory that
Naziism is alive in Europe and around the world. But instead of being Aryan,
the modern Nazis are primarily Arab, or just plain bigoted anti-Semites.
And, of course,
through it all, the memory of what seemed to be the catalyst for it all, the
kidnapping and brutal murder of three innocent teenagers who got into the wrong
car.
בראש השנה יכתבון וביום צום כיפור יחתמון.
It’s a message that
cuts deeply into our thoughts and emotions. Was this all decreed on Rosh
Hashana and Yom Kippur last year? Our liturgy, which reflects the Talmud, says
so. Why couldn’t it be car accidents? A young man from Lakewood, Aaron Sofer, went
missing in Yerushalayim during the conflict, feared kidnapped. Turns out he tragically died in a hiking accident. Is this kind of death any less a tragedy?
No.
But in our minds,
while we always have questions, we have an easier time with the things we can
relate to: accidents, illnesses, and of course old-age.
And so it comes as
such an incredibly shocking and surprising message when the mother of NaftaliFrankel appeared in an Aish.com video that many of us saw, declaring the
lessons she takes from her son’s murder – of the incredible spirit of Am
Yisrael, the unity, the Achdus, the power of Tefillah that rallied behind her
son, Gilad and Eyal as a world-wide movement. About how this is the true Am
Yisrael – a people who care about one another, who look out for one another,
who are there for one another. And most importantly, of having אמונה, faith in God.
How does this woman
have faith in God? She lost her son in one of the most senseless crimes of the
century! Isn’t God to blame for not protecting her son, and the boys that were
with him?
You see, Rachel
Frankel understands very well that that is not how אמונה works. אמונה, real faith in God doesn’t get thrown out
with the bath water the minute something goes wrong. Or in her case, tragically
wrong.
One thing you should
know about Real Emunah. I found a great quote in ספר מבחר הפנינים א - שער החכמה – by
Rabbi Shlomo Ibn Gabirol. He said, “Know the removal of שכל (intelligence, but sometimes translated as
common sense) from Emunah is like removing a head from a body. When the head is
removed, the body is lost or useless. And when Sechel is lost, Emunah is lost.”
In other words,
people who have real Emunah are not simpletons who have what the public calls
Blind Faith. These are really really really really really really SMART people.
They know Emunah – faith – by nature contains an element of doubt. But they
also make a very intelligent choice to say, Who cares if there is a possibility
that I am wrong? There is a much stronger possibility that I am so so right. This
is what the Rambam at the beginning of Hilkhos Yesodei HaTorah calls ידיעה – knowing that God is there.
Secondly, people who
have Emunah don’t see things in black and white. There is a world of gray,
sometimes unintelligible gray, but gray nonetheless. And that hazy gray
suggests a metaphor of a world which is like a very large wheel with millions
and billions of cogs – some that play a larger role, some whose role is far
less significant, some whose roles are not apparent until many millions of cogs
have made their revolutions. And that each of us is a cog, and we can’t always see
the big picture of that wheel. Some cogs just loosen up and fall out. And the
wheel keeps right on spinning.
There are many great
works of Jewish philosophy that define what Emunah is. But in the same book,
Ibn Gabirol has a “Shaar Haemunah,” in which he articulates some of the
fundamental tenets of what it means to be a Maamin. Humility, Reverence, and
the Patience to explain to someone who has questions – who may even be
antagonistic – but to be able to explain because the Maamin has clarity and confidence
in how the world works and in Who is running the show.
There are some
people who endure the knocks of life better than others. The poor, the ill, and
the diminished. These, says Ibn Gabirol, are the Maaminim.
You want to know who
went through the school of hard knocks? Chana did! We read it a few moments
ago! She had a co-wife who made her life miserable! Her husband treated her
royally, and yet she couldn’t eat – because he didn’t understand her, thinking
his love for her was more meaningful than the child she yearned for. Peninah
made her ANGRY that her womb was closed. Not sad. ANGRY! Can you imagine a
woman who is made to feel like nothing by a seemingly heartless, mean and
insensitive show-off? Chana could have walked away with her tail between her
legs. But she was ANGRY!
We all know Ka’as is
a bad middah. But Ka’as, the Rambam says, has its place. While Rambam warns
against anger, in Hilkhot Deot 1:4, he says that a person shouldn’t get angry,
except over a big deal, so the issue won’t ever happen again.
Chana got angry at
Peninah. This WAS a big deal. But it STILL happened, year after year. So one
year she decided to do something about it.
We can analyze
Chana’s story for hours. But today I think we need to focus on Chana the
Maamina, and her relationship with God.
First she prays to
God, crying, bitter, and we are toldוַתִּתְפַּלֵּל עַל־יְקֹוָק . She lays it all out. She says God, “I
need you to see my suffering. And remember me! Don’t forget me! You ARE IN MY
LIFE! YOU ARE PART OF MY EXISTENCE! If I have a child, I will dedicate his life
to serving you.”
וַתִּתְפַּלֵּל עַל־יְקֹוָק . She
is in control. She is letting Hashem, כביכול, have it.
But Eili gives her
the business. She is praying in a way that is beyond his comprehension. And she
lets him know he has misunderstood her. She tells him she is suffering. וָאֶשְׁפֹּךְ אֶת־נַפְשִׁי לִפְנֵי יְקֹוָק:. Lifnei hashem. As she hashes it out, her
relationship with God seems to change.
And then she
explains herself to Eili. כִּי־מֵרֹב
שִׂיחִי וְכַעְסִי דִּבַּרְתִּי עַד־הֵנָּה: I’ve spoken this way and in this manner
because of my ANGER. Rabbi David Fohrman pointed out that ANGER, at least in
Chana’s case, is a demonstration of being real (we know this from the תלמוד בבלי מסכת עירובין דף סה עמוד ב - אמר רבי
אילעאי: בשלשה דברים אדם ניכר: בכוסו, ובכיסו, ובכעסו.. ) She’s not putting on a show for God,
she’s letting HIM see what she is really feeling. Because Peninah has abandoned
her, her husband doesn’t seem to understand her, and Eili has just accused her
of being a drunk – of being someone who pours in alcohol to escape a reality.
But in fact, she was pouring OUT her soul, perhaps in anger somewhat, to
REFLECT her Reality, to the only being who can hear her and understand her, and
Who could connect with her in the deepest way.
And now that it has
come out, she is finally able to eat – a feat which has been inaccessible to
her in all of her recent Temple-trips.
Hashem remembers her
וַיִּזְכְּרֶהָ יְקֹוָק. She remembers Hashem when she names the
child. Becauseמֵיְקֹוָק
שְׁאִלְתִּיו:. She won’t go to visit the Mishkan until
the child is readyוַהֲבִאֹתִיו
וְנִרְאָה אֶת־פְּנֵי יְקֹוָק. And when she does come, she explains to
Eili that I was the woman who stood here
לְהִתְפַּלֵּל אֶל־יְקֹוָק:. EL HASHEM. Not al (על), not Lifnei (לפני). El (אל). To. Close.
Intimate. Face to face. (כז) אֶל־הַנַּעַר הַזֶּה הִתְפַּלָּלְתִּי
וַיִּתֵּן יְקֹוָק לִי אֶת־שְׁאֵלָתִי אֲשֶׁר שָׁאַלְתִּי מֵעִמּוֹ:
I prayed for this
child, and Hashem gave me the request I had asked of Him.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
Chana prayed for the child. But she made a request of Hashem. The child was the
afterthought – the REQUEST WAS – GOD I NEED YOU TO SEE MY SUFFERING! I NEED YOU
TO SEE HOW ANGRY I AM ! I NEED YOU TO NOT FORGET ME!
And then my על ה' becomes לפני ה', and then it turns, in retrospect to אל ה'. Intimate. Close. I davened אל ה. I davened אל הנער הזה. אל – to Hashem, אל – for this child. Maybe FOR
HASHEM to be in my life. FOR this
child to grace my arms.
Her thanksgiving
Tefillah – even more profound. (ב) אֵין־קָדוֹשׁ
כַּיקֹוָק כִּי אֵין בִּלְתֶּךָ וְאֵין צוּר כֵּאלֹהֵינוּ:
Chana came to the
realization – though perhaps she knew this before – that she couldn’t rely on
her husband, and even Eili, who should not have judged her but did, was at
first unhelpful. The only ONE she could rely on was her own Emunah, her own
knowledge, that HKBH is out there, and that He listens.
And this is why
Rachel Frankel’s message is not just special in its own right. It is amazing
because here is a woman who went to a similar school of hard knocks as Chana.
Not comparing childlessness to losing a child in a horrific terrorist act. But
here is a woman who has every right to be angry. Every right to question God.
To question His motivation. To reject Him.
And yet, she seems
ever closer. She is able to smile. She is able to share her message of
inspiration. I have no doubt in my mind that - if I can borrow a line from tomorrow's Haftorah - רחל מבכה על בניה. But what she has demonstrated is that
through all the tears and all the difficult moments, she sees a much bigger
wheel. A much bigger picture. She understands the concept of being a cog, and
that each cog has a role. And that the bigger picture of Achdut of Am Yisrael
says so much more about who we are as a people than anything.
She lost a son. And
because of it, a woman with no previous platform has chosen to remind her
people that HKBH reigns, and that our People, united, can always turn to Him.
May we be blessed to
pray the way Chana did. To express our anger, our frustrations, and to be real.
To come על ה, but
transition to praying לפני ה, and
to finish speaking אל ה. We
want to be as close to God as we can. And, hopefully we’ll be blessed to come to
the same conclusion these amazing women have come to.
(ב) אֵין־קָדוֹשׁ כַּיקֹוָק כִּי אֵין
בִּלְתֶּךָ וְאֵין צוּר כֵּאלֹהֵינוּ
