Playing Roles on Pesach

Not "Rolls"

PESACH

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Overheard from a second grade rebbe: "If I don't load the kids up with Pesach preparation, parents think they haven't learned anything all year."

            

I don't know if that is a truism across the board, if many parents think that way, or if just a minority take the Pesach prep as a reflection of the entire school year. But I think such a notion is antithetical to what Pesach is all about.

            

We are doing it all backwards.

            

Any student of Torah (and even the Haggadah) knows that the Torah presents a number of circumstances in which it will either be the parent's responsibility to tell (Shmot 10:2), or to respond to the queries (Shmot 12:26, 13:14, Devarim 6:20), or to engage in a conversation (if at all possible) (Shmot 13:8) with one's child about the great miracles that transpired at the time of the Exodus from Egypt.

            

It stands to reason that if children spend a month preparing for Pesach in school, it is unlikely for them to have many (if any) questions for their parents by the time the holiday rolls around. They know everything that is age-appropriate!

            

Parents who do not prepare for the holiday (as they should!) find themselves asking their children what they learned, and listening to the Torah teachings their children have been robotized to transmit at the Seder.

            

What a sad role reversal!

            

The Mishnah in Pesachim (10:4) says that after pouring the second cup, the child "asks," seemingly suggesting that the inquisitive and bright child will be asking questions unrelated to the Mah Nishtanah through merely observing that the night is different. Some sample questions (mine, not the mishnah's): Why did everyone have their own cup for Kiddush – you didn't even pour any of your kiddish wine in to others' cups! Why did we just pour a second cup? Why did we just break that matzah? Saltwater? What is this seder plate? Why pillows? A kittel?

            

Similarly, Rambam (Laws of Chametz and Matzah 7:1-3) writes of engaging the children in a dialogue, piquing curiosity, and doing things in a way that will encourage questions.

            

If the children are so well-trained, the Seder might still be an event, but it is not a fulfillment of what should be taking place.

            

With the clock having changed recently, the Seder becomes an additional challenge: How do we keep people interested through Maggid, which starts late and ends even later, when we are hungry, tired, and perhaps not in the mood for long discussions, or even just reading all these words?

            

What I am about to suggest is not for the purists. If you are a stickler for reading every word of the Haggadah (though both the Mishnah and Rambam cited above make clear what the 'minimum' is), read no further. You will not like what you read.

            

But if you truly believe the seder is all about the children, fulfilling "Sippur Yetziat Mitzrayim" – literally telling over the story, in an exciting way that is engaging to the children, then only use the Haggadah as a guide or when you are stuck.

            

One can argue that even the Mah Nishtanah is a response to a lack of human creativity. The Mishnah says, "If the child has no knowledge then the father teaches him" the Mah Nishtanah.

            

But if we can be creative in our story telling, we will have fulfilled the mitzvah of telling the story in a manner which will be engaging and memorable at the same time. What is more important – telling a story about 5 rabbis in Bnei Brak, or telling a tale of a slave in Egypt?

            

Use Devarim 26:5-8 as a base. But "darshan" it yourself. Get up from the table. Act it out. Build buildings with toy blocks or Lincoln logs. Knock them down and build them again. Bring a glass pitcher filled with red liquid to the table and call it blood. Throw a ton of toy frogs at everyone. Have the little kids pinch the adults and call it lice. Have little kids jump on your lap pretending to be wild animals. Everyone drop dead after saying your last "Moo" or "Baa." Roll up your sleeve and put some pomegranate juice on your arm to simulate a boil. Throw ice at the Lincoln log buildings you'll have built as slaves. Have the local "locusts" remove all the food from the table. Put blindfolds around select "Egyptians" around your table, and have them walk around blindly in the "dark" while the Israelites can see!

            

Pretend your table is the table of the Israelites in Egypt on the last night. Have some people go around the house and scream as if the Death of the Firstborn is taking place. Be very quiet at your table. Bring pillowcases, put a towel or shirt in each one, sling it over your shoulder, announce that Pharaoh has let us free, pick up a piece of matzah and walk out of the house!

            

Get blue bedsheets or towels and hold them in a manner that simulates a body of water, and then have them held as walls of water as the children walk between them (and the angry adults chasing them get covered with the "water").

            

And have an adult mysteriously disappear from the table, put on a costume (coat, sunglasses and hat) only to reappear at the front door when it's time to greet Elijah the Prophet.

            

Make it your most memorable seder ever.

            

Chag Sameach.

VAYIKRa - The Beginning of Learning

Parshat Vayikra

by Rabbi Avi Billet

A number of Midrashim pose the question (ascribed either to Rabbi Yoseh, Yosi, or Dosa), "Why do children begin learning the [Chumash] from the section about korbanot [offerings]?" And the answer is, "Because just as the korbanot are pure, so are the children pure."

            

In recording the question at the beginning of Vayikra, Kli Yakar quotes the Yalkut Shimoni (Pinchas 786), who uses a play on words to demonstrate that one year old "k'vasim" (sheep) are used as korbanot, because they are "m'khabsim" (they launder or wash away) the sins of a person, making the person as clean (or pure) as a one-year old.

            

While there are many suggestions as to why the alef in "VAYIKRa" is small (Kli Yakar begins his commentary on the parsha with his own interpretation), the call to attention brought on by the alef in this first word of the book is a reminder that this is where children, who are small and who begin their learning with alef, should begin their Chumash studies.

            

Kli Yakar quotes another opinion, that the word "Alef" comes from a root which means to study, as in the verse in Iyov (33:33), when his friend Elihu tells him, "Va'Alefkha Hokhma," – If you have words, answer me… but if you don't, then listen to me; be silent as I will teach you wisdom." The point taken from there is that learning is only fulfilling when a person lowers himself, and accepts the role of student, like a child learning in a classroom.

            

Moshe indeed merited to be called in this manner – Vayikra El Moshe – because he had done this when God first called upon him. He belittled himself saying, "I am not a man of words" (Shmot 4:10), and he merited to become the epitome of being a man of words, the quintessential teacher of Torah.

            

Not only was he the greatest teacher, but he rose above everyone else of his time. Certainly God spoke to Adam, Noach, Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. But there was no one else in their time worthy of being any kind of competition. But in Moshe's day, there were 70 elders, Bezalel, Aharon and his sons, the princes, etc. and only Moshe merited to have the relationship with God he enjoyed.

            

And so the lesson is twofold: We learn from Moshe that one who never thinks "I have arrived" and who always thinks, "I have so much more to learn" is a person who will have much more success in learning.

            

Having played the role of instructor for advanced teacher education and training, I have found the most productive classes were those in which the teachers in the room played the role of students. Those who feel the need to reverse the roles in that context end up learning nothing themselves and ruin the class for everyone else.

            

On the other hand, playing the role of student is something I cherish as well. It is a blessing to hear new ideas, see new things, be presented with different perspectives on things I don't know well or even know very well. And the reminder of how much there is still to learn is ever humbling.

            

This leaves us with the second lesson: regarding children, of what and how they learn. We are living in a time when information is out there, available and so easily accessible. What is not out there, and what needs to be taught, learned and made available to children, is the ability to think. The answer to "what's the answer?" is "I don't know. Figure it out." Or, "Perhaps if you use this rule or this information that you have, you may be able to come up with the answer." "I am here to help, but not to show you or tell you."

            

Of course there are things we must "tell" children. How to read, translation of words, and even some basic skills all come from a frontal sharing of "information you need to know." But the book of Vayikra is a great place to start learning because the same words and shorashim (root words) appear over and over in the first seven chapters, creating a built in review of language, syntax, vocabulary, and structure.

            

And even the message shared by Rabbi Yoseh, Yosi or Dosa is equally important to bear in mind. There is a purity that beginning learners have, a curiosity, along with a desire to learn and to please others.

            

Our challenge is to teach things correctly, to make good choices, and to give learners information, skills, and the wings to think for themselves.

            

Instead of creating "Yes"-men-and-women and people who are afraid to get wrong answers, we must tap into the purity of Vayikra, combine it with the purity of the children, and promote an active kind of learning in which mistakes are encouraged, because we catch them on our own, learn from them, and grow from them. We create an environment in which those who have the drive, who have a similarly talented peer group (as did Moshe), are able to rise above because they raise themselves above through their commitment and dedication to learning and growing.

Hanokh L'naar al pi darko – Teach the child according to how the child learns, so that even when he grows old, he will not turn away from what he has been taught. (Proverbs 22:6)

A Gathering to Mend Relationships - by Rav Aharon Lichtenstein

In honor of Rav Aharon Lichtenstein's 80th birthday, many rabbis have dedicated this weekend to sharing his teachings. [See the ad for the Yeshivat Har Etzion "Shabbat" and Sunday dinner here]

The following is a modified version of this "sicha" given by Rav Lichtenstein in 1997]

SICHA OF HARAV AHARON LICHTENSTEIN SHLIT"A

Mending a Damaged Relationship

In the wake of the sin of the Golden Calf, a large gap had developed between the nation and God. Along with this, another gap opened up - one which we usually overlook: a gap between Am Yisrael and Moshe himself. This, I believe, was a two-sided affair caused by mutual disappointment - a disappointment exacerbated by the expectations which had preceded it.

Firstly, Moshe was sorely disappointed in his nation. They had betrayed not only God, but also him. He could understand that an enslaved nation would be unlikely to follow him, and he had forseen this eventuality (see Shemot 4:1, 6:9)

But after they had left Egypt, their relationship with Moshe deepened. Moshe, the leader, saw before him a responsibility - an entire nation to whom he dedicated every second of his life. He loved this nation so much that he was not able to initiate even the simplest of plans if it would separate him from them - an oft-overlooked by-product of the format of judgment that Yitro criticized (Shemot 18:18).

For their part, the nation approached Moshe with admiration, reverence and a sense of complete dependence.

In light of this mutually developing bond, God had promised Moshe, prior to the Golden Calf, "And they will also believe in you forever" (Shemot 19:9). Yet in a twinkling, this relationship, this promise, this destiny seemed to disintegrate. Am Yisrael destroyed a connection that had been forged in blood, anguish, concern, constant guidance and plain hard work.

Their Golden Calf activities, however, demonstrated the wildest, basest, most primitive type of Egyptian paganism - a reversion so complete it defied his comprehension; but more painfully, it defied his love for them.

This was Moshe's disappointment.

However, and this is not something we appreciate, Am Yisrael, too, was disappointed. We read Vayakhel while bearing in mind all the background information about what really happened on Har Sinai. We know of Moshe's bold intervention with God on behalf of the people, of his courage and self-sacrifice in pleading their case. The problem is that all this took place in the presence of God alone; at the time, Benei Yisrael knew nothing about this dialogue. 

We need to try to understand how these events unfolded from Bnei Yisrael's perspective.

Am Yisrael had undergone events beyond the power of human imagination; their world had been turned upside down - plagues, sea-partings, encounters with God - all in a ridiculously short time-span. They had been enslaved physically and mentally for centuries, and their dependence on a defined, authoritarian, discipline-structure cannot be underestimated. Make no mistake, they had to be LED out of Egypt. They trekked into a bleak and barren desert, with little water and food - a situation which would be trying for even a more emancipated people.

All the time, however, they are comforted by one solid presence - Moshe Rabbeinu. He weathers all crises with powers and knowledge beyond their ken. Then they arrive at Mount Sinai and undergo an experience which would shake the foundations of any human being - they hear God speak, they apprehend infinity. While reeling from this series of unbelievable phenomena, Moshe disappears. They have no leader. Who can they blame? What can they do?

How do they feel? "He has abandoned us! What are we to do? Where can we go? He has left us to fend for ourselves! How could he do this to us?" Not just that - but when he finally returns, unannounced, what does he do, what do they see? They see a man acting insanely - he smashes the tablets; he destroys their symbolic leader, the calf, who was there only because he had abandoned them; he makes them drink the ashes of their "failure," and then on top of that he begins some sort of vindictive massacre, as a result of which three thousand people are killed (Shemot 32:26-28). As opposed to Aharon, who had always been "a lover of human beings, bringing them closer to the Torah" (Avot 1:12), who was Moshe now in their eyes? A hot-tempered, wrathful murderer.

We, with our knowledge of what happened behind the scenes, understand what really happened here; we know how close the entire nation came to being destroyed. But Moshe never told them his side. He never recounted the daring measures he took on their behalf, going so far as to issue an ultimatum: "Now, if You will forgive their sin [well and good]; but if not, erase me from the record that You have written!" (32:32).

He restrained himself for forty years and only in that last year, just before his death, does he reveal what happened - and not even to them, but to their children. They did not know that God had told him, "Leave me alone and I shall destroy them and I shall erase their name from under the heavens, and I shall make you a great nation, bigger and mightier than them" (Devarim 10:5). Faced with this threat/promise, Moshe embarked on one of the most daring and incredible events recorded in the Torah - a mortal man struggling to "convince" Infinity, as it were, to bargain, to argue, to demand Am Yisrael be spared. "And Moshe entreated..." (Shemot 32:11) - of his prayer they knew nothing; of his two-pronged attack - "Think of the desecration of Your name! Think of Your promise to the forefathers!" - they were ignorant.

"'God said to Moshe: ...And now leave Me be and I will be wrathful with the people and destroy them, and I will make you into a great nation [in their stead]' (Shemot 32:10) - Rabbi Abbahu said: If the verse hadn't been written, one would have been unable to say such a thing; Moshe grabbed the Almighty like one who grabs another person by his clothing, and he said before Him, 'Master of the World, I am not going to let go of You until You forgive and pardon them!'...
Rabbi Elazar said: Moshe stood in prayer before the Almighty until he became ill. [The Bach's version: Abbaye said, Until he made God ill.]" (Berakhot 32a)

Firstly, as depicted in this gemara, Moshe attempted to quell God's anger, to prevent their imminent destruction. Yet Moshe was not content with securing mere forgiveness for Bnei Yisrael. He wanted a second chance for them - he wanted a return to their previous status, as if what they had done had never happened! 

"Rava said: [Moshe prayed] until God annulled His vow [to destroy the nation and not to dwell among them]...
Shemuel said: This teaches us that Moshe was prepared to accept death for them, as it is written, 'If not, erase me from the record that You have written' (Shemot 32:32)." (Ibid.)

The Ramban (Shemot 32:32) goes so far as to interpret:

 "In my opinion, when Moshe said, 'Now, if You will forgive their sin [well and good]; but if not, erase me from the record that You have written,' [he meant to say, 'Erase me] instead of erasing them, from the book of the living, and I shall suffer their punishment.'"

Unlike Shemuel's interpretation in the gemara above, according to which Moshe was prepared to die with the people, the Ramban writes that he was prepared to die IN THEIR PLACE and to suffer punishment on their behalf!

Am Yisrael knew none of this. All they saw was the punishment, the anger and the dread news which Moshe bore after returning again from the mountaintop, "I [God] will not go in your midst, since you are a stiffnecked people... Now, then, leave off your finery, and I will consider what to do with you" (33:3-5). Moreover, they saw that Moshe, already distant from them, became even more removed, pitching his tent outside the camp - and not just outside, but "far from the camp" (Shemot 33:7). The same Moshe before whom the people had stood from morning until evening is now isolated and detached from them.

This, then, was Am Yisrael's view of Moshe's actions; uninformed of all that he had done for them, they were disappointed in him as well.

How did they react?

"Whenever Moshe went out to the Tent, all the people would rise and stand... and gaze after Moshe until he had entered the Tent" (33:8). Rashi asks: Why did they watch Moshe? "It is to tell [their] praise - [they thought to themselves,] 'Happy is the mortal who is assured that God's presence will come after him into the tent.'" But there are other opinions, which tap the depth of Am Yisrael's disappointment. The Gemara (Kiddushin 33b) cites a dispute about whether the people's gazing in this case was favorable or critical. The Yerushalmi (Shekalim 5:2) explains the view that they looked upon him critically:

"Those who looked upon Moshe claimed: Look at his thick thighs, look at his knees, look at his neck; it is all from us - Moshe eats and drinks from the Jews, and everything he has comes from the Jews!"

 According to this opinion, the people looked upon Moshe with resentment. Some interpretations go even further:

"Rabbi Shemuel Bar Nachmani said: They suspected Moshe of committing adultery, as it says (Shemot 33:7), 'Moshe took the tent and pitched it outside the camp.'" (Sanhedrin 110a)

So disappointed were they in Moshe, so much had they lost faith in the wisdom of his counsel and actions, so much had they seemingly suffered because of HIS leadership, that they could not but help suspect his motives, no matter what he did.

We can now appreciate the atmosphere which prevailed in the camp after these events - the cold peace between Moshe and his nation. The nation felt betrayed and resentful; Moshe not only mirrored their feelings, but had to restrain himself from explaining to them how mistaken they were about him. He forced himself to live with his own hurts while he knew that his greatest act - saving the entire nation at the risk of his own life - would continue to be construed by them as a barbaric purge. Think of what must have been going through his mind - his hopes, his life's work all dashed in one day of stupidity; and he has to bottle it all up inside, always nurturing, always prodding, always hoping.

We now understand the need for a special assembly of the entire nation at this point. On the threshold of Am Yisrael's undertaking of its historic mission, Moshe sensed that because of the rift which had opened up between him and his nation, because of the veil which he now wore at all times, there was a desperate need to connect once again, to bridge the gaps. Therefore he gathered everyone together, not just to give them the command to construct the tabernacle, by which God would once again dwell among them, but to ensure that he and they, disappointed leader and disappointed nation, would begin to dwell together once again.
******************************************************

Rav Lichtenstein's message here speaks volumes of the need to have a heart to heart when trying to achieve a peaceful resolution to a damaged relationship. 
Too often when we get into fights with others, we decide not to have anything to do with the other person anymore. But that is not always a reasonable solution to the issue. It could be that we are taking things to extremes, often because we don't have the whole picture and don't know the whole story. 
Those who want to live life carrying grudges and never letting go of hatred are not paying close to attention to the mitzvot of Al Tisna Et Achikha Bilvavekha and V'Ahavta L'Reiakha Kamokha.
An open conversation (if need be with a mediator) can help mend relationships gone afoul, if that is indeed a goal one wants to pursue.
May it never come to this. But let us be open to fixing what is broken, if need be. Amen.

Day of the First Month, Day One

Vayakhel-Fekudei

Parshat HaChodesh

by Rabbi Avi Billet

With this week doubling as a (double) parsha plus Parshat HaChodesh, we find the coincidence of the date of "HaChodesh" making an appearance in the parsha - "On the day of the first new moon, on the first of the month, you will erect the Mishkan." (40:2)

Commentaries are struck by the seeming redundancy – why does the Torah say "on the first of the month" when that date is obvious based on the previous phrase in the verse?

The repetition lends itself to suggest that the 1^st of Nissan is not randomly significant. Even though we don't call the 1^st of Nissan "New Years Day" (as we do for Rosh Hashana), there is much more Biblical importance attached to this day than meets the eye.

The Midrash Aggadah lists a number of events attached to this time period. The first Mitzvah was given (Shmot 12), Avraham was told Yitzchak would be born, the nation of Israel left Egypt, the Mothers of Israel were remembered (and then conceived), and it is the month of the future redemption.

            

The specific date was the first of creation, of the months, of the Priesthood, of Service (in the Mishkan); the first time fire appeared from the heaven, God's presence had a resting place, Israel was blessed; first for when Kodshim were eaten, first for the princes, and first for when the Bamot (makeshift altars) were forbidden. It was considered a day of great and extra special joy because it was the first day of Creation." (Obviously this midrash follows the line of thinking that the creation of the world took place in Nissan – not in the month of Tishrei).

            

The Midrash Tanchuma says the special nature of the date in question includes three instructions (and assemblages) of the Mishkan, all done by Moshe, on the first day the Mishkan was ever erected.

            

Rabbenu Bachaye explains why the multiple attempts at putting together the Mishkan were necessary. What are the chances that all the materials assigned for the making of the Mishkan would be perfect, fit together perfectly, and not be missing anything? Very slim. It seems, after all, that the instructions had always been, "Make what you've been told to make – without bothering to see if anything fits together – and we'll work out the details somehow."

            

Perhaps Betzalel and company, the architects, did try to put everything together and were unsuccessful. This is why in 39:33 "They brought the Mishkan to Moshe." They tried and tried but putting it together eluded them.

            

The Medrash Tanchuma explains that God told Moshe to dabble with it and He would cause it to stand properly by itself. Moshe's taking it apart and putting it together three times was to show everyone how it could be done, that it could be done, and that it worked.

            

It is clear that the month of Nissan is a midrashically special time for the Israelite nation. But how does it spell out that the first of the month needs to be the date the Mishkan is erected, and that the notion of the 1^st of Nissan even needs to repeated in the same sentence to get the point across?

            

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch points to the idea of the New Moon (Rosh Chodesh) as being one which the Jewish people have accepted as a time of renewal. Just as the moon waxes and wanes and then renews itself at the beginning of the month, so do the Jews have ups and downs and the occasional need for renewals in human society, and in our own lives.

            

Since this message of the significance of Rosh Chodesh was first given to this nation in Egypt, in Nissan, at the moment of their original transformation from slaves to free people, it comes around again on the day of that first new moon.

           

"The new moon of the arising nation was also the new moon, of the dwelling of the Shechinah, the fulfillment of the promise 'V'Shachanti B'tocham' (I will dwell in them) (25:8) by which alone the national redemption reached its completion."

            

The repetition of the date, as it were, stands to distance this day, the most momentous among all firsts of Nissan, from any tinge of a pagan nature festival. Because as a result of this particular Rosh Chodesh (Nissan) causing Israel to reckon its first day of the month, it was chosen for the establishment of the Mishkan.

            

This notion is most understandable when we remember the Gemara (Rosh Hashana 11) that claims, "They were first redeemed in Nissan, and they will be redeemed in Nissan in the future."

            

A specific time of year may be better for the Jewish people in the cosmos, and the emphasis on Rosh Chodesh Nissan indicates it is one of those very special days.

            

As we bless the new month and read the origins of the first Rosh Chodesh, let us look forward to the Rosh Chodesh which is "coming our way for good," and do our best to appreciate its significance in the history and future of our people.           

In Defense of Aharon

See also this attempt at understanding Aharon

Defending His Role in Golden Calf Story (A portion of a sermon on Ki Sisa)

When we look at the story of the Golden Calf, the hero of the story is Moshe.

He destroys the luchos (see the Gemara (Yevamos 62, BB 14, Menachos 99) יישר כחך ששברת), destroys the Eigel and makes the people drink its dust, tells God that destroying the Jewish people is unacceptable, beseeches God to consider the repercussions of such an action visavis God's reputation amongst the nations of the world, and threatens to have himself removed from the Torah if his "demands" are not met.

In contrast, we have Aharon, who should have been the hero of the story.

They came to him seeking advice, looking for help; he should have said more forcefully that MOSHE WILL RETURN; he should not have given into the demands of the people; he should have taken a stronger stand.

As a result, Aharon seems to be the goat of the story on account of the things he does:

• He's the one who suggests they bring the gold earrings.
• He is credited with fashioning the calf with an engraving tool.
• He builds the Mizbeach, and then saya, חג לה' מחר – Tomorrow will be a festival to God
• He is yelled at by his brother Moshe "What did the people do to you that caused you to bring this great sin upon them?" You were weak, and this seems to be your fault. 

The Malbim suggests that when Moshe destroyed the Eigel and was not harmed by the people, this was the real moment when Aharon was deemed weakest. Because it proved that had Aharon done the same thing, they would have listened to him. [Of course, we can argue that Moshe did not yet know that Hur had been killed, and as the Eigel was meant to replace Moshe, his presence proved no need for the Eigel – which Aharon's presence clearly did not serve to remind the Israelites.]