Helping Others Survive

This appears in the Jewish Star

Parshat Behar-Bechukotai

“The Living Torah” is the late Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan’s translation of the Chumash. In addition to the standard divisions by chapter and parsha, Rabbi Kaplan z”l gave subtitles to the sections he divided by topics.

For the verses in 25:35-38, he entitled the section “Helping others.” In the context of helping the poor, giving loans, the phrase “v’chai imakh” וחי עמך appears, as does “v’chay achikha imakh” - וחי אחיך עמך. He translates the former phrase “Help him survive,” and the latter as “and let your brother live alongside you.”

Many interpretations for these two phrases often focus on civil harmony and congeniality, and perhaps learning how to treat a spouse, or a date, or simply how to be a mentsch towards others in the game of life.

I have a different interpretation based on a story I heard this week. Had I not met the person to whom this happened, I would not likely believe the story. The narrator - the one to whom this story happened - said he could not believe how the story unfolded either.

“Last Sunday I was at a fishing pier with my wife, along the boardwalk. I was feeling nauseous, but it was also hot, so I figured I’d go get a drink of water. I gave my wife my fishing rod and went to get a drink, and I stopped on a bench just to collect myself.

“A stranger who was jogging came over to me and said, ‘You look terrible. I think you need to call an ambulance.’ I thought the guy was crazy. I said to him, ‘I’m feeling a little queasy, but I definitely don’t need an ambulance.’”

“He said to me, ‘Look man. I’m an EMT and you have a cardiac condition. You’re sweating in a way that isn’t normal, and you need an ambulance to take you to the emergency room.’”

“I argued with him for a couple of minutes until I let him convince me. I called the ambulance saying, ‘I’m on the boardwalk. This guy stopped to tell me I should call an ambulance. I feel fine. But he’s an EMT. Can you please pick me up?’”

“They got there within a couple of minutes. My wife and I went to the ER together. I was totally fine filling out the papers. Then I said something to the nurse as she left the room. And that was the last thing I remember until Tuesday morning.”

“I got the feeling that there were many people around me, but I flat-lined. I was on a ventilator for 24 hours. I woke up on Tuesday, and was in the hospital for three more days – came home on Friday, in time for Shabbos.”

And now he’s walking around telling the tale. At all of 35-years-old. Turns out he had a clogged artery, a condition doctors sometimes call “the widow maker.” Had he not been in the ER when he went into cardiac arrest he would be dead now.

I asked him, “So what does Eliyahu Hanavi look like?”

“He’s a good-looking black man who jogs on a board walk,” he answered.

This man, the jogger, lives the phrase “Vchai imakh,” – “help him survive.” He was jogging, he could have minded his own business, but he saw something, recognized something, and in a simple debate that lasted three minutes, he saved a man’s life. Did he have to? Was anything in it for him? No. The one who lives to tell the tale does not even know the name of his benefactor, nor any way in which to find him and thank him.

Not all of us are EMTs or medical professionals. We might not be so lucky to be in the life-saving business. But we can also fulfill “v’chai achikha imakh” – “and let your brother live alongside you.”
It’s not just about “letting” as much as it is about “teaching” or “helping” a person learn “how” to live.

Some people who go through experiences like this turn around and say “I was given a second chance. I am now going to take steps to do the things in my life I was meant to do but pushed off for another day. Life is too short for us to have regrets about the things we never got around to doing.”

With encouragement and the right kinds of inclusiveness, we can help others have experiences they might not otherwise have. Some of them follow the teaching that says we are to enjoy life. Others follow the school of thought that has us dedicating and devoting ourselves to spiritual pursuits.
Whatever paths we take with our newfound second chances, may they be experiences of brotherhood as we truly learn how to live in the company of dear family and friends.

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(Sad update - a few years later, the person who's life was saved here lost track. Some time after this story he and his wife divorced. A few years later, he overdosed and died. Life takes strange turns. The story is inspiring. But we also have to remember that "and they lived happily ever after" is only in fairy tales.  Our job is to work on ourselves, try to overcome the challenges life sends our way, and always be working up towards greater purpose (tafkid) in life, while improving our relationship with the Almighty.)

Va'era - A Little Inspiration From and For the Elderly

This article appears in the Jewish Star. Read it there or here:

Torah: a lease on life

Parshat Va’era

by Rabbi Avi Billet

January 15, 2010/ 29 Tevet 5770

How old was Moshe when he fled from Egypt in Chapter 2? Depending which Midrash you follow, he was either a teenager, 20, or 40. No matter which approach we follow, he spent at least 40 years in Midian before G-d sent him to be the deliverer, to take the Israelites out of Egypt. That’s a long time to spend away, working, building a family, and preparing, through natural existence, to become the savior and deliverer of the people of Israel.

In 7:7, we are told the ages of brothers Moshe and Aharon at the time they stood before Paroh. Moshe is 80 and Aharon is 83. What is the significance? If we need to know Moshe is 80 at this time, we could certainly figure out from the end of the Torah when we are told that after forty years in the wilderness, Moshe died at age 120. A simple calculation of 120 minus 40 will bring us to 80 at the time of the Exodus.

Let us assume for a moment that specific ages are not that important, that the fact Moshe and Aharon are specifically 80 and 83, respectively, is insignificant.

Is the Torah trying to teach us something deeper, a significant lesson to be derived from two older men, taking charge of a nation at G-d’s behest, in the latter third of their lives?

Ibn Ezra points out that no other career-prophet began his prophetic career at such an advanced age. Moshe and Aharon also were unique in the kind of prophecy they revealed to the people, as all the other prophets served in a role of rebuking those who had turned from the proper path. Finally, their relationship with G-d was unique in that their prophecy was attained through a cloud, while others fell into a sort of slumber when they received G-d’s revelations.

Rabbi Ovadiah Seforno focuses on their age specifically, pointing out that despite their advanced status, they nonetheless acted as sprite youths, rushing to fulfill God’s will. At the age of 80, they took the term “gevurot” — strengths — (Avot 5:21), to new definitions.

Netziv emphasizes that the Torah mentions their age in relation to when they appeared before Paroh, as opposed to in the context of when G-d appeared to them. It seems quite likely that Aharon had received the word of G-d prior to Moshe’s experience, but that Moshe, at age 80, was receiving it for the first time.

One might argue that 80 in those days was like middle age now. Most people achieve the pinnacles of their careers once they hit their mid-forties and fifties. There are exceptions, those who “make it” earlier, but I would bet statistics would support this notion. One example I know to be true: along with the very few who were elected in their mid-to-upper 40’s, most US Presidents were inaugurated while in their 50’s.

For Moshe and Aharon, was it the ancient middle age? Or were they, in fact, primed and seasoned to take on such a significant role in their waning years? Please do not misunderstand. They were special people, with unique character traits. At the end of his life, at age 120, Moshe is described as “his eyes not having dimmed, nor his natural powers having left him.” (Devarim 34:7)

Nonetheless, I wonder.

Did Paroh view him as an “old man?” Did the Egyptians perceive him as a kooky guy, holding up a placard and prophesying the end of the world? Was he taken seriously by the man on the street?

I like to think Moshe was an older man who felt young, who viewed himself as young. Perhaps his having an infant child (if his second son was truly born around the time of his journey, as Ibn Ezra records in 4:20) would contribute to this feeling.

But even without an infant child, through the new job Moshe had, he had a new lease on life.

Had everything gone as planned, perhaps Moshe was not meant to lead for forty years. The Children of Israel were meant to enter the Promised Land shortly after they left Egypt. Perhaps Moshe, even at his advanced age, was meant to lead the people only so far.His new role kept him going. He could not leave his job unfinished, or at least until it was at the cusp of being completed.

For those who have reached this “golden age,” I suppose the lesson to learn from Moshe is to allow personal involvement in Torah study to become a new lease on life. As long as G-d blesses you with health, and especially if you are no longer working, make the remaining years of your life into ones dedicated to Torah study.

Enroll in a study program, become a rabbi, do what it takes to make the last third of your life the ones in which you become closer to G-d than ever before in your life.

It may even be a recipe for long life, hopefully in this world, and certainly in the next.