To Protect Others From Falling

Parshat Mishpatim 

by Rabbi Avi Billet

תלמוד בבלי מסכת יומא דף פז עמוד א - 

וכל המחטיא את הרבים אין מספיקין בידו לעשות תשובה 

"If a man (though it likely refers to man or woman) opens a pit, or uncovers a pit, and does not cover it (i.e. leaves it uncovered when not working on it), and an ox or donkey fall into it, the owner of the pit (e.g. the one who opened it) must pay money to the owner of the animal, and the [animal's] carcass belongs to him." (21:33-34)

Rashbam spells out the debate regarding to whom the carcass belongs – to whom does "to him" refer? The overall consensus seems to be that the owner is paid and keeps the carcass (Rashi and others). Chizkuni proposes that since the damager is paying in full, he gets to keep the carcass.

I am taking a homiletical leap off the page, because there is a deep lesson that can be taken from the principle involved in this case. The pit is essentially a stumbling block before an unsuspecting being – in this case an animal unprepared to take a potentially dangerous fall – which renders the one responsible for creating the stumbling block as responsible for the ensuing damages which result from the carelessness. The debate over who keeps the carcass can be translated to reflect an idea that both people – the one who causes the stumble (a sin to be committed) as well as the unsuspecting "owner" of the fallen entity (the ensuing "sin") - have ownership over the "carcass," or the sin that wallows in its own negative state.

The Mishnah in Bava Kama 26a says "Adam Muad L'olam," that a person is always responsible for one's choices and actions. Generally this refers to the financial obligations one has for damaging another's property – willfully or accidentally. Even if I leave someone's item on my night-table and accidentally knock it over while I am sleeping, I am responsible. I should have left it in a safer place.

The exception to the rule are cases of "oness" (אונס) – where I am blameless because I was behaving properly and someone else caused me to damage something. If I break something because someone throws me on it, or places it in front of my car as I am driving, or smashes against my property in a manner that is their own fault, I am blameless.

There are many stumbling blocks that we face on a regular basis – it is part of living in a real world. We are tempted with our eyes, we are tempted to gossip, we are tempted to break laws – including those we don't like (e.g. taxes) and those that don't make any sense (e.g. some traffic laws). We are tempted to have the greatest comeback lines, to hurt people with words, and even to hurt people physically.

            

How often do we hear public figures apologizing for things they have said, apologizing for having "misspoken," or for saying things they didn't really mean? (Think Chuck Hagel)

            

When we are loud and obnoxious, we cause others to think ill of us, tempt them to speak lashon hara about us, and may cause them to violate "Do not hate your brother in your heart" (Vayikra 19:17).

            

When we don't take care of ourselves, in appearance (looking shlumpy) and being morbidly obese (excluding reasonable "overweight," and real medical conditions), we cause others to stare, to talk about us, and to judge us. (See Ramban on Vayikra 19:2)

           

When we are scrupulous (or not) about certain stringencies (cholov yisrael in America comes to mind), if we claim those who are not stringent are eating "non-kosher," or say about those who are stringent that they are "totally crazy," we are spreading slander and causing others to look askance at people who are doing nothing wrong.

When we dress provocatively, we invite others to have inappropriate thoughts about us, to look at things they should not be enticed to look at, and to possibly sin in their hearts and minds. People certainly make private choices about how to act upon the things they see – in billboards, in magazines, and on the internet, etc. But that is between them and God. Certainly if they take action involving another person, that becomes their own fault as well. But if we are at fault for causing the private behaviors on account of our choices, those of us who put others in this kind of spiritual harm's way are to blame for the stumbling block, and must "pay" for enticing others to fall. Even if everyone dresses that way at the gym, beach or swimming pool.

  

We live in a world that is challenging enough. With social media, a camera on everything we own, and the ability to share thoughts and messages instantly and worldwide at the click of a button, we must not only be extra careful about what we share and how we share it, but extra careful about how we present ourselves and how others perceive us on account of those choices.

            

There are times when people "check themselves" in my presence, from language choices, or content-of-comment choices, saying things like, "Sorry, rabbi." Why? Am I more obligated to curb my behavior than you are? Am I judging you? Or does my title remind you that there's a Higher Being to Whom we bow, so to speak, and before Whom we must answer one day for our choices?

Any real "Rabbi" will be the first to tell you that rabbis are flawed humans like everyone else, and have similar challenges in terms of stumbling blocks we all face. Everyone "klops Al Cheit" on Yom Kippur. Some rabbis (as well as many devout Jews) take the reminder of the fallout – repercussions from bad choices – seriously, and choose to behave properly as much as possible.

But we all have an obligation to consider the repercussions of the things we say, how we speak, and the ways in which we present ourselves to others in language, dress and commitment to God, in our avoidance of placing pits before others, causing them to stumble.

The donkey and ox are not looking or wanting to step into a pit to injure themselves or die. And those who are exposed to the behaviors that cause them to "fall" would usually prefer to not be tempted by those of us, particularly Torah-observant Jews, who should know better than to present such pitfalls before others who share similar responsibilities in our efforts to maintain a Godly existence.

What are you going to do with the "carcass" of the sin you caused another to commit?

Nine Days [I] - Laundry

Unless one goes to a Jewish summer camp, it is hard to get into the mood of the Nine Days properly. No barbecues and closed doors at Kosher Delight translates to monetary savings for most people, as opposed to a "withdrawal" on account of some mourning practice.

The gabbai in my shul announced a few times on Sunday morning (erev Rosh Chodesh) "Enjoy doing laundry" because, as is known amongst those who observe the practices of the Nine Days, one does not do laundry during this period.

Sure. I remember that one from when I went to camp. Everyone got their dry cleaning in before the Nine Days. The camp did a special laundry run (outside of the regularly scheduled weekly laundry day), and we were all to take care of our clothes lest we be forced to wear something dirty out of lack of options.

I don't think I ever studied these laws, or customs, shall I say? I just accepted what was told to me. Besides, as a child in a camp, you don't really have much say as far as when your undies are getting cleaned.

WHAT THE SHULCHAN ARUKH SAYS

So I opened up the Shulchan Arukh, and found some fascinating information. It's all in Orach Hayyim 551 (תקנא). [Other restrictions of the Nine Days will be addressed in separate sections] The parts having to do with laundry are translated here, noted by the paragraph numbers in which they appear.

3 – [The Sephardic custom] has these restrictions during the week in which 9 Av falls. Even if you don't want to wear the garment now, and even if you only have one shirt, it is forbidden to wash it. Same rule applies to things washed beforehand – whether to wear them or make the bed with them. Even handtowels and tablecloths/napkins may not be washed in this period... Our kind of laundry is permitted; but our form of ironing is forbidden.
Linen/flax garments don't require ironing, and are this categorized as "our laundry" and are permitted. ALL OF THIS refers to ironing and putting them away for after Tisha B'Av. (seems to imply that all of the permission for washing is when one will not wear it during the Nine Days) But one may not wear these items during this week [that Tisha B'Av falls]. There are those who had the custom to even forbid the linen/flax, even with "our laundry," whether to wear or wash and shelve. One should not be lenient in any of this, because it was accepted as the custom. There is certainly the possibility that according to the law these practices are forbidden, for there are those who believed that "our laundry" has the same effect as the "ironing" of the Babylonians which does not clean so well because their waters are [not as clean]. Laundry of all others lands is possibly like the laundry of the land of Israel, and is thus forbidden. Nowadays, as we don't clean just with water, all of our laundry is considered "Ironing" and is all forbidden.

Ram"a – We [Ashkenazim] are strict about these things from Rosh Chodesh until after the fast, unless it's for a mitzvah, such as a woman wearing her white garments can wash them to make sure they are white. On 9 Av itself, she need not wear white…. One may not give the non-Jewish launderess clothes to wash from Rosh Chodesh and on. One may give them to her before Rosh Chodesh, even if she'll be washing them after Rosh Chodesh [aka during the Nine Days]

5 – Jewish women may not launder the clothing of the idolaters during this week [that 9 Av falls]

14 – Adults may not… launder children's clothing during the week 9 Av falls.

Ram'a – but clothing that gets completely soiled whether with soil or body excretions can certainly be washed. And even for the clothing of other little children (non-babies), the custom is to be lenient.

15 – A person whose mourning period led right into this period and his hair is exceedingly thick may cut it with a razor, but not with scissors, and may wash one's clothing in water, but not with niter and sand (friction/cleaning agents)

On "Our Kind of Laundry is Permitted," (in 3 above) the Mishneh Brurah says the following:

Our kind of laundry refers to Diaspora laundry which is permitted because it is not as nicely done as the laundry of Eretz Yisrael. Therefore one may wash garments and leave them to be worn after 9 Av. However, washing them and wearing them right away (during the Nine Days) is prohibited.

What I take from all of these comments is that it is not the act of laundering, per se, which is forbidden, as much as it is the feeling one gets from putting on freshly laundered clothing.

KIBUS SHELANU - OUR LAUNDRY

Which now leads us to the final discussion point. What are the actual definitions of "Kibus Shelanu" (our Laundry) versus "Kibus She'lahem" and "Gihutz Shelanu" and "Gihutz Shelahem"?

These terms appear in different contexts in the gemaras Taanit 29b and Ketubot 10a-b, and leave much unsaid insofar as how our contemporary laundry is done, and to my mind, what the ramifications are during the Nine Days.

Simply put, if the gemara and the Shulchan Arukh are going to compare Israeli laundry to non-Israeli laundry, then we are obviously living in the dark ages. There may have been places that had access to different kinds of natural resources, ie niter (see above #15 - which may have been a soap used for laundry), which would cause the quality of laundry cleaning to be different as per the different soap ingredients available locally.

But if you're reading this on the internet, you likely have access to a washing machine and laundry detergent, which arguably does a better job than the laundry of "Eretz Yisrael" in the days of old, and yet – due to its not being in Israel (unless you, the reader are in Israel right now) – is still considered "Kibus Shelanu" which would be permitted, according to at least one opinion in the Shulchan Arukh, and two in the gemara in Taanit – Rabbi Nachman and Rabbi Elazar.

Bear in mind that either way you look at it, with the exception of children, the custom seems to be that no one wears freshly laundered clothing during the Nine Days – certainly not if it was washed during the Nine Days, and, seemingly, even if it was washed before the Nine Days.
When I was in camp, they always recommended that those who had had their suits and shirts dry-cleaned wear them for a little while before the Nine Days actually began so they would not be putting on freshly laundered clothing during the Nine Days.

This would imply that the gabbai in shul, while well intentioned, did not present the entire story. People may want to launder their clothes before the Nine Days. But if they are following the actual instructions, if they don't wear the freshly laundered clothes before the Nine Days begin, it would seem that it doesn't matter when they're cleaned, during the Nine Days or before the Nine Days. If they're freshly laundered, they can't be worn during the Nine Days at all!

With this, I feel we must move our discussion to the contemporary day and age, as we divide our clothes into different categories.

CONTEMPORARY PRACTICES OF WEARING AND CHANGING CLOTHES

Some articles of clothing are changed daily, not to be worn again until laundered. Undergarments and socks are in this category.

Some articles of clothing are changed daily, and may or may not necessarily be laundered after one wear. Some shirts, skirts, and trousers fit in this category.

Some articles of clothing are not worn regularly, and are often put right back in the closet when taken off. They are laundered far less often than other clothes. Jackets, coats, suits, fancier outfits and specific to Sabbath garb are in this category.

Because laundry is so easy for us to do, I would argue that we don't get the same "amazing" satisfaction a person may have once upon a time had when putting on freshly laundered clothes.

The only effort expended into doing laundry lies in shlepping the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer and folding the clean laundry. Beyond putting detergent in the machine and pressing start, we don't do very much to get our clothes clean as the machine does all the work.

Therefore I feel that one need not wear all of one's undergarments for a short period of time before the Nine Days. We don't get a thrill out of having fresh undies because we would never put on not fresh undies.

Depending on how one wears the pants, shirts and skirts, the same thought process would apply. If a person wears something once or twice and then launders it, the regularity of the laundering would remove the satisfaction value of having freshly laundered clothes – simply because you would never wear it were it not clean.

But an item which might be worn on several occasions before being sent to the cleaners or the washing machine does have a certain satisfaction embedded in its being freshly cleaned. Those items need to be "unfresh" to be worn during the Nine Days.

To summarize:

• It is not the act of laundering which is prohibited during the Nine Days. It is the act of laundering in order to wear which is prohibited. The Shulchan Arukh does say a Jewess should not even launder a non-Jew's clothing, but it would seem that if this is one's business, one need not shut down their business for nine days – because there is no satisfaction from the laundry. The satisfaction comes from earning a living, which is permitted during the Nine Days (even though there is an opinion that one should not engage in business as much during this time period).

• According to some opinions, one may launder clothing during the Nine Days in order for them to be ready to be worn the day after 9 Av.

• Laundering clothing before the Nine Days does not necessarily help one wear them during the Nine Days. In my opinion, it depends on what kind of clothing one is talking about, and how one goes about wearing and cleaning them in general.

Because laundry done in any civilized country with washing machines is such an easy enterprise, it has removed much of the excitement of having freshly laundered clothing, and has also equalized the "Kibbus Shelahem" and the "Kibbus shelanu" leaving us with different categories of clothing that we may or may not wash during this time period, as we further determine which articles of pre-Nine-Days-freshly-laundered clothing may not be worn during the Nine Days either.

Additional Thought (added late 2019)
See Shulchan Arukh in the laws of Mourning (YD 389), where the following is stated

אחר שבעה מותר לגהץ בין לעצמו בין לאחרים ולא אמרו שלשים יום לגיהוץ אלא ללבוש:

After the seven [days of mourning, the mourner] is permitted to do laundry work both for himself³⁰To be worn after thirty days. and for others. The [prohibition against] laundry work for thirty days was stated only with respect to wearing [laundried garments].³¹Tur on the authority of T.H. Sem(H). VII, 10 and Asheri to M.K.

יש מי שאומר דהאידנא ליכא איסור גיהוץ שהרי אמרו גיהוץ שלנו ככיבוס שלהם :

There is an authority³²Tur and N.Yos. O.Ḥ. ibid. who states that nowadays there is no prohibition against laundry work, for they³³The Sages. said, 'Our laundry work is like their washing.'³⁴

^{IN OTHER WORDS - There is a distinction to be made between during Shiva (which is the equivalent of Tisha B'Av) and during Shloshim (which is the equivalent of the 9 days) with respect to doing the act of laundering and actually wearing the laundered clothes.}