Home Study with Temple Beth El - Shabbat

Last night we had the second round of our home study for parents whose children attend the Religious School at Temple Beth El in Hollywood.

Our topic surrounded "Home Observances on Erev Shabbat and Havdalah on Saturday evening."

For the handout, I compiled a list of all the times I could find Shabbat mentioned in the Bible - about 15 times in the Torah (Five Books of Moses), and about the same number in the words of the prophets and Writings.

The rest of the sources included essays or articles written by people from across the spectrum of Jewish identifications who have written something about Shabbat and its value.

Hillel Halkin (a secular writer who lives in Israel)

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, former professor of Ethics and Mysticism at JTS (and author of the book "The Sabbath" from which this article is based.)

This article about the Reform movement looking to bring more people into a kind of Shabbat observance

And this blog, written by Dr. Carol Ochs, Adjunct Professor of Jewish Religious Thought in Hebrew Union College.

Each of these approaches brings something to the table, and each one values a celebration of Shabbat - albeit perhaps differently from everyone else in the group.

Aditionally, the packet included pages 382 to 383 of Joseph Telushkin's "Jewish Wisdom" - a highly recommended book.

BEGINNING

We began reading excerpts of a passage from a Talmudic text - The Mishnah of Rabbi Eliezer - who discusses why work is a good thing. We are obligated to work in order to survive. The human being works in order to create, in order to produce, in order to achieve. (As an aside, this source indirectly frowns upon those who are capable of working and do not.)

After giving six profound reasons why work and a work ethic is considered to be "great," the Mishnah explains why Shabbat is also "Great." The first reason is that it overpowers our need to create and do work. It includes many suggestions for how best to observe the Shabbat - what to do to give a person the restful and peaceful experience that makes the Shabbat experience unique.

A LIST FROM THE TOP OF A GOOGLE SEARCH

We looked at this list of so-called universally encouraged Shabbat practices in all of Jewry. And we had our own suggestions as to how to add things, in order to get children involved - particularly to help create memories, and to help them acquire Shabbat experiences for themselves.

These include:
For Friday Night
lighting candles, blessing children, saying the kiddush, setting the table, Ignoring the Phone

For Saturday Evening
Have the kids find the three stars that indicate the conclusion of Shabbat, Say havdalah, use something that was not used on Shabbat - to mark the distinction between the holiness of the day of Shabbat, and the regularity of the rest of the week.

A key element to the radiance of Shabbat comes from the realization of its holiness. This is something we began to touch upon, and hope to explore perhaps in a future session.

All in all, we concluded that Shabbat can be a wonderful family bonding period, there are plenty of ways to experience it together, and that any observance of Shabbat a person wants to commit to should begin small and slow without expectations of an overhaul of one's persona and practices.

Participants in our small but intimate group shared the efforts they make in their own homes to experience Shabbat in some way. Coming from different upbringings and backgrounds, it is amazing to discover what a person remembers from childhood and tries to recreate when the roles are reversed, and we become parents wanting to create for our own children what we experienced when we were their age.

New Year and New Beginnings

This evening, in partnership with Temple Beth El of Hollywood, we had our first session of living room learning targeting parents of the Temple's Religious School's students.

We had a lovely time!

We used the Genesis story (the ultimate "beginning") as a metaphor for what the new school year is about.

"The earth was without form and empty, with darkness on the face of the depths, but God's spirit moved on the water's surface. God said, 'There shall be light,' and light came into existence."

After a summer of fun and less than regular Jewish experiences, children have a clean slate and are ready to be formed by the new ideas we will throw their way. If we can only give them the "light" they will be guided on a proper path as it is clear that the light is "good."

A Second beginning

When Cain and Abel have their encounter, we see the tremendously difficult urges Cain had to overcome. There is nothing quite as potent as when God warns him, "If you do not do good, sin is crouching at the door. It lusts after you, but you can dominate it."

We know he did not overcome: he faltered and succumbed to his evil inclination when he killed his brother. The problem with the whole episode though lies not in the protagonists as much as in the missing players.

Where were the parents?

Parents must be present. And even when they are not or can not be present, their influence must be present. Children have to be raised to know and believe that their parents' values are their values whether the parents are physically present or not.

And as Joseph Telushkin writes, the rest of the Bible is an affirmative response to the question Cain asks in his own defense, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

A Second Chance

Adam and Eve have another baby, whom they call Seth. After his son is born, it seems Adam can now praise God. His family will live on through his third son.

Chapter 5 begins "This is the book of the Generations of Mankind: On the day that God created man, He made him in the likeness of God."

Interestingly this verse is one of the sources utilized in a debate between Rabbi Akiva and ben Azai over which is a more important principle in the Torah. Rabbi Akiva says "V'ahavta L'reiakha Kamokha" (a.k.a. the Golden Rule of loving your neighbor as yourself) is an important principle, while Ben Azai says "This is the book of the Generations of Mankind" is an even greater principle.

It's all about humanity

What is Ben Azai talking about?

Ben Azai is talking about the human experience. He looks beyond the plight of just the neighbor. EVERY human being is created in God's image, therefore the greater principle appeals to the divine spirit that lives in each person...

V'shinantam

Finally we concluded with a recitation of the Shma, in English, in which we discovered that the commandment "Teach them to your children and speak of them when you are at home, when traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up" follows immediately after the commandment/suggestion: "Love God your Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. These words which I am commanding you today must remain on your heart."

The way we can get our kids to do it, is if we do it. We model, they follow.

We have to make love of God and Judaism and values essential. When we do that, or even make efforts to do more than we do, it will inevitably rub off on our children.

Then we'll have accomplished our mission.

Tizku l'mitzvot. Thank you for coming and for participating in our chavruta session.