Friday, September 13, 2024

Returning Lost Objects, Finding Our True Selves

Parshat Ki Tetze 

 by Rabbi Avi Billet

When counting per parsha, Ki Tetze has the largest number of Mitzvos in the book of Devarim, and in all of the Torah! Some of them have been seen before in the most Mitzvah-prolific parshas such as Mishpatim and Kedoshim, and some have been counted then as Mitzvos, and some are only counted here as Mitzvos by the Sefer HaChinukh. Perhaps the easiest reason for any repetition, in general, is that Moshe is speaking to the next generation, and is reminding them of some of the more important things he has taught over the years while also focusing on the instructions that will fare them best when they enter the Land of Canaan and begin building a new society there outside the realm of the partially supernatural living they’ve experienced in the wilderness (Manna, special water sources, pillars of cloud and fire, etc.) 

 One mitzvah which appears in two places is regarding the returning of a lost (and therefore found) object. In Devarim 22:1 the verse says that “You shall not see the lost ox or sheep of your brother wandering and let it be. [Rather] you should return them to your brother.” The word brother here means “your brother in observance” or “your brother in Mitzvos.” 

In Mishpatim (Shemos 23:4) the verse says “When you bump into the ox or the donkey of your enemy [and realize it is] lost, return it to him.” 

While the verse speaks of a lost animal, Sefer HaChinukh titles the Mitzvah “To return a lost object to an Israelite” and goes into detail about how the mitzvah includes any lost items, and that the purpose of the mitzvah is to promote neighborliness and to encourage people to seek out the owners of things that have been lost to set things aright. The specific laws are discussed in Bava Kama and Bava Metzia and concern where the items were lost (such as a particular market or a particular building, rather than a very busy thoroughfare), if they can be easily identified (losing a single dollar bill wouldn’t count, while losing a stack of bills in which you know the exact amount could be more easily verifiable, or losing a more unique object, especially if it has identification markers on it), and if the owner has hope of ever getting it back based on all the circumstances (if found in the sea, for example, we can assume the owner gave up hope, even if it has a name on it). 

The Internet has proven a fascinating resource for helping men who’ve misplaced their Tallis and Tefillin (such as on a train or in an airport) be reunited with them, since the Hebrew name, often enough with a last name, is usually on the bag! 

The question is asked, however, why does Mishpatim refer to the person who lost the animal as “Your enemy” while in our parsha the person is “your brother”? 

Rabbenu Bachaye essentially argues that the Torah is presenting on a spectrum. It could be that when finding an object the finder may realize that the item belongs to someone s/he does not like and may be inclined to think “Forget about it. Why should I go out of my way for that person?” Or it is unclear to whom it belongs, and the finder may feel “Why should I go out of my way for a stranger? This person is wasting my time!” As we know, that kind of attitude already puts the one who lost the item in a negative light in the mind of the finder. Therefore the Torah is teaching that returning an object gives the finder a different perspective, especially when the owner receives the property back and is genuinely grateful. The message is for the finder to remove those negative feelings, so by the time the returning of the object or animal takes place, the owner is already viewed as a friend. 

 Meshekh Chokhmah presents a different perspective. The Talmud (Pesachim 113) asks a simple question: Is one even permitted to hate? Doesn’t the Torah say “You shall not hate your brother in your heart!” (Vayikra 19:17) He answers that a person could come to hate one’s Jewish brother having witnessed the person sin, prior to the event of the Golden Calf, because at that point Bnei Yisrael were referred to as a “Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation.” Someone who sinned was considered to be one who was tainting that special mission, and could therefore be considered an enemy. 

 However, now in Devarim, after all of Israel participated in sin, even minimally, one does not have the allowance to simply hate someone for sinning. Instead, a person’s responsibility when seeing another person sin, instead of judging the other, is to examine one’s own deeds. 

 Am I perfect? Am I careful about every mitzvah? Am I flawless in the way I go about doing the things I do? 

Since the answer to these questions is typically “No” (unless the person IS a perfect tzaddik or tzadekes, which is rare), we are forbidden to hate the other person. Instead we should focus on the things we don’t like about ourselves and aim to improve upon them. 

This is where Teshuvah can fit in as it reminds us that we are imperfect (which is ok, since we are human), and that instead of looking outward at others, we ought to look inwards. 

 One simple way to improve is to seek out to help others. 

See something on the floor? Pick it up! 

Does it belong in the trash can? Throw it out! 

Does it belong to someone or is it unique enough that it could be identifiable by its owner? Try to return it! 

Going to the store and have a neighbor who doesn’t drive or who is immobile? Offer to shop for them! Or offer to take them to the store. It may take a few extra minutes, but a Chesed is worth all the time we have. 

See someone struggling with their purchases, loading their car? Offer to help or just help with a smile! 

See someone distraught over losing something? Help! Retrace steps. Look everywhere possible. 

Being there for others is one of the most human-training activities we can engage with. When we get a thank you and a compliment it feels great. But even if we don’t, knowing we did our part to help also feels good, and helps us see that people aren’t necessarily bad. Sometimes they are just misunderstood. And sometimes a little careless. And sometimes a little forgetful or eccentric. Which means they have plenty of good qualities… the onus is on us to see the good qualities and chalk up the qualities we don’t like to their being uniquely human in their own way. 

 Like everything, how we view others and their lost objects says a lot about our outlook on the world. If we can find the positive, we will be positive. If we live with a positive outlook on life, we will find the positivity in others. 

 Hopefully we aren’t too hard on ourselves in the process, as we recognize our own flaws as a work-in-progress, while aiming to improve through the life long task of Teshuvah and being more wholesome and good in God’s eyes. And by extension, in the eyes of Man.

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