by Rabbi Avi Billet
On the rare occasion that I need to make a late-night run to Walmart for some odd or end that we need, while I am (hopefully) obviously going out on this errand by myself, I marvel at how there are sometimes families, with very small children, at the store at the same time. And we’re not talking about the single mom who has no other choice but to bring her children – these are families with two parents present along with their little children.
It's not for me to judge, and I certainly don’t say anything. But I imagine that were I to ask, the answer I’d get from the parents is “We had to do this errand together. Do you expect us to leave our children home by themselves? What do you think we are – irresponsible?” I don’t want to get into an argument, so if my guess of an answer were to turn out to be true, it is certainly better that they take their children than leave them home by themselves. I understand that it’s very hard to get a last-minute babysitter. (Nevermind that you could have done what I did – but I guess some items that get picked off the shelf need a discussion in the store…😇)
We have a unique commandment in the Torah that only applies one time every 7 years, and that is the Mitzvah of Hakhel, the gathering of the entire Jewish nation in Jerusalem on the holiday of Sukkos attached to the Shmittah year.
Quick aside: Rashi and Rabbenu Bachaye say it was in the Sukkot immediately AFTER the Shmittah year, at the beginning of the 1st year of the new cycle. Targum Yonatan and R Yosef Bkhor Shor say it that it is after 7 years from the last Hakhel, in the actual Shmittah year – at a time when people don’t need to tend to their fields and gardens, they can all afford to go to Jerusalem. Ramban in Parshas Reeh (chapter 15) makes it quite clear that we “pasken” like the first approach that says Hakhel would take place on the Sukkos immediately after the Shmittah year ended.
The mitzvah in question is for “the nation to gather, men, women and children.” (31:12) To what might seem an obvious question – the men and women will each get their own benefits from the national gathering, but what will the children get out of it? – Rashi notes (based on the Gemara in Chagigah 3) that the purpose of bringing the children was for their parents to get the reward/merit (שכר) for bringing them.
That doesn’t seem to benefit the children. And, to be honest, if the parents are all going because they are required to go, then just like the people I see in Walmart, do we expect they’d leave their children home alone while they make the trek to Jerusalem? Of course they’re going to take their children along. They don’t have a choice! So why is this a Mitzvah? In Yalkut Ha’Urim, the author suggests the obvious answer, the famous teaching of Rabbi Chananya ben Akashiya. “God wanted to give merits to the Jewish people, and so He gave them many mitzvos…” If the adults have to bring their children anyway, they may as well get the merit of fulfilling a mitzvah while doing so. Fair enough.
This leaves us with the question of what the children would get out of coming to Hakhel, especially if they are too young to understand what is going on, and too young to appreciate the role of the king, of the Torah being read, of the grandeur of all of the nation being there. The Torah explains their role, in 31:13, as “listening and learning to revere the Almighty.”
The Sfas Emes explains, demonstrating a clear understanding of the realities of children, that there is an ideal (they will listen and learn to revere God) and then there is reality, that they’ll be running around, playing games, not paying attention, missing the point entirely. And so, looking at Rashi’s comment, he says it is more important for the parents to be present and distracted by their children – because at least the children are in attendance and in this incredibly inspiring atmosphere, the memory of which (simply being there) they may carry more than what they might have gleaned from listening to the Torah being read or any speeches, most or all of which they likely would not remember.
The Sfas Emes concludes the thought suggesting that in general, adults should be willing to sacrifice their own fulfillment and growth in order to teach their children or be sure to it that the message comes across to the next generation.
In a different comment on this section of the Torah, Sfas Emes emphasized the holiness of the atmosphere which can have an indelible imprint on the Neshama (soul), an impact which is invaluable, something that we can never actually put a price on, as it may be carried to realms we could never foresee.
Rabbi Yehoshua was a great example of this – not specifically from Hakhel, but all the time – as his mother would bring his cradle to the Beis Medrash in order that he would be exposed to the sound of Torah study from a very young age (Yerushalmi Yevamos ch 1, 8b). Undoubtedly that contributed to his becoming the man he became.
I recall once hearing a story about two great rabbis who came to an elementary level yeshiva to give a talk and a faher (oral quiz) to the students. The event included lunch, and after the meal, their regular Rebbe apologized to these great rabbis that as part of their approach to Chinukh in the yeshiva, the boys sang the Birkat Hamazon (“Bentching”) together. These great rabbis did not hesitate – not only did they not accept the apology, but they sang the Bentching along with the boys. Is this an example of their sacrificing their own “kavvanah,” perhaps their own scrupulousness and degree of concentration, to sing a memorable melody of the Birkat HaMazon along with children? Absolutely. But do you know what? Not only was it a beautiful message to the children, that these great rabbis “bentched” with them, but it also gave great strength to the children’s Rebbe to see value and merit in what he was doing regularly, sacrificing his own “bentching”, so the children would learn it, remember it, and be trained to make Birkat Hamazon part of their own mealtime routine.
We must always remember that the presence of children in any Jewish environment, whether shul or a gathering, is a blessing. If sometimes their presence seems disturbing, it is much more important that they feel comfortable in places like shul, than that they feel unwelcome or not desired.
In Hakhel, it was run-of-the-mill. The kids were there, but their attention may have easily been focused elsewhere.
The parents got the most out of the experience as they could, but they also saw that their children had a memorable shared experience with family, seeing themselves as part of the Bnei Yisrael, in an inspiring setting they could recall in their long-term memory as a defining moment in their development as members of the Nation of Israel.
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