ON EMUNAH AND HAKADOSH BARUCH HU

Around two months ago, I delivered a sermon that touched upon this subject peripherally. Now, with COVID-19 being on everyone's mind, and having changed much of of our social interactions - hopefully only for the time being - this is a new and expanded take on that subject.

Do We Have A Fear of Death?

 It is not our place to play God and to decide who or what is at fault for anything. At any time in the year, when someone gets ill or passes away, we easily, quickly, and often ascribe these realities to God. “It’s Hashem’s plan.” “It’s in God’s hands.” “It is Hashem’s will.” “We don’t understand the ways of Hashem.” “I trust in Hashem: He knows what is best.” “Baruch Dayan Ha’emes.”

Maybe if someone commits a deliberate act of murder, we have a much easier time blaming the murderer. But when there isn't a known motive, we might even say the victim was in the wrong place at the wrong time!

We cry on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur when we read the words of U’nesaneh Tokef – “Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus” (Who will live and who will die?) as we hope we are granted another year. We also acknowledge that these things are decided at that time. At the same time we hope our Teshuvah, Tefillah, and Tzedakah can reverse a negative decree. We are also aware that we could do the most heinous or reprehensible things in God’s eyes that may turn our positive judgment negative. We KNOW this.

And yet, is it always clear that death is a punishment? The Rabbis ascribe many sins to Nadav and Avihu, whose deaths we will read of in Parshat Shmini (this year, the Shabbos after Pesach). And yet when they died, Moshe told Aharon “This is what God said – ‘with My holy ones I will be sanctified.’” Which suggests that Nadav and Avihu were holy, without sin. If Moshe says so, it seems their deaths are not a punishment, but they are God’s will, because He wanted their souls back. Somehow, He was sanctified in their lives ending. I take this to mean that dying is not always a punishment. In fact, I much prefer to think that anyone’s death is because God wanted the person’s soul back, much more than I like to think that the person died on account of sins or regrettable behavior. I much prefer to think that it’s a person’s time for reasons I don’t understand than for reasons that I can very clearly understand.

This is not to say that we aren’t careful, and that we don’t make deliberate decisions and choices as to what activities we engage in, what foods we consume, where we travel, who is driving, as well as the relative safety of anything we undertake. But there is an element of risk in just about every aspect of life, from getting out of bed (ask anyone who has fallen and broken something doing that) to walking to the bathroom (ask anyone who has tripped, and had serious injuries) to getting in a car, to walking or biking on a road where cars speed, to stepping up into a building (tripping), to climbing or walking down stairs (tripping and falling), to going into any doctor appointment (infection from others), to eating at any restaurant (food poisoning), to stepping into an airport (tripping, infection), to getting on a plane (infection, crashing, terrorism), to going on a cruise (all of the above), etc.

And so I ask, “Is it really in our hands?” We all know very well that we could do everything right. We can do all the proper research, we can be the most careful driver, we can avoid venturing into unsafe spaces, we can eat right, we can exercise, we can follow all recommendations, we can do all the right treatments, take the correct medications, and yet… outcomes might not be what we had hoped. We know this too is true. (Of course, in many or even most cases things work out well. But is anything a guarantee?)

We acknowledge God’s role in life and death every single day, several times a day, in the second bracha of Shmoneh Esrei. We acknowledge God in our daily prayers for having returned our souls to us (Modeh Ani). We recognize that our souls are pure (if we can only merit to keep them that way) and that one day God will take our souls. As long as He gives me a soul, I acknowledge His role in being the Master of Souls (Elokai Neshama). We note that we will speak of God’s praises for our lives which are in His hands, and for our souls which are entrusted to Him, and for the miracles we experience every day (Modim). We also are most grateful for the fact that our bodies function the way they do, when everything is working properly, while recognizing what could happen if things did not work so mechanically (Bracha of Asher Yatzer) And of course we always say that we entrust our spirit to God both when we sleep and are awake, and that our body stays with our soul, I have nothing to fear for Hashem is with me. (Adon Olam).

We all want to live, because we know this world. It is familiar to us. (see teaching of the Chasam Sofer in the comments) We love life, we love our families, we love our friends. And yet, in the back of our minds, we all know one day each of our lives will end. So a few question we are faced with include:

• How do we live our lives? 
• Are we indeed enhancing those relationships? 
• Do we give each other chizuk for how to live life once we are gone (not that that should be a sole focus or an oft-recurring conversation)? 
• Are we ignoring our eventual reality in hopes that everyone will figure out how to cope with our passing and eventual (permanent) absence? 
• Are we aiming up, trying to get as close to God in this world
• Or are we only waiting until we die to make that effort of getting close to God - a job we'll leave for our neshama to work out on its own? 
• Why do we put so much stock in yarzeits and giving an Aliyah to a neshama? 
• Do we not have faith in the effort the person made in life to get as close to God as possible, such that the kaddish, the yarzeit, the Aliyah for the neshama are really backups? 
• Or do we feel we need to help that neshama as much as possible, because the person’s effort in life was focused on things other than God? 

Do we fear death? I suppose some people do.

We might fear someone else’s death, because we will miss that person. If a spouse, we might prefer to be the one to pass first, because the pain of living on without the person is so unbearable. If that’s the case, it’s not death that is feared, but the unknown which is feared. But for the person who dies, life ends. There is no pain. There is no suffering. It is simply a move on to another world.

Can we argue that death is an unknown? What do we say when a person passes away? Alav HaShalom. Aleha HaShalom. We refer to a person as in a state of eternal rest, and peace. We talk about the soul as being bound in the bond of eternal life. We ask of the person to be a “Melitz yosher” (an advocate for us with the Almighty). We assume the person has the ability to forgive us for any wrongdoings we may have done to the person in life and after passing. We talk about where the soul goes – on or under the wings of the Divine, resting in Gan Eden. We certainly sound like we know what we’re talking about. 

So here we are, facing an unprecedented scare for people of all ages – most notably people with underlying health conditions and people identified as senior citizens (even if one feels very healthy, energetic, young, etc). [Though it sounds like even these criteria are changing.] Certainly we want everyone to live, to get through this, and to be well. I personally go the route of optimism, and run from fear-mongering. Every statistic I see notes that this illness, while getting much media coverage and though certainly quite contagious, is not as deadly (statistically speaking) as the yearly flu season seems to be. Many are asymptomatic and don't present illness! And many who are exposed don't catch the virus. To get accurate numbers of any statistics we'd have to know exactly how many were infected. Because the more who were infected and got over it (unknowingly) lowers the mortality rate significantly. 

And yet, what if God's plans for some people is not what we want? What if some will not survive? Are we going to point fingers at people? Will we blame people for not doing their part? Are we going to play God in saying that it was not God’s will – if only so and so hadn’t…? Who’s to say? Why do some people not get infected, while others get no symptoms, others some symptoms, others a bad case – all of whom get through it – and others die? Is it in fact the case that anyone over 70 who tests positive for COVID-19 passes away? It is not.

Mi yichyeh u’mi yamus? God has many tools available. Sometimes He uses illness. (heart disease, cancer, flu, pneumonia, diabetes, alzheimer's). Sometimes He uses the hand of Man (medical errors, car accidents, other accidents, depression -> suicide). Sometimes He uses an agent (the Malach HaMuvess, etc).

Do we live in fear with all of these possibilities? No? Then we shouldn't live in fear now.

If in the end we'll say the kinds of things outlined in the opening paragraph, then we truly believe God runs the world. If we play blame games and point fingers at people, I would argue that we don't believe God runs the show. 

In most cases when someone passes away, we humans who remain behind, feel it was too early, too soon, the person had more to live for, more to look forward to, more to do. He shouldn't have passed that way. Oy how she suffered. It wasn't a life. It was too sudden. We didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Or to tell her how much we loved her.

These are emotions, feelings of regret over our own failings! They certainly have nothing to do with the account we typically put in God's hands.

צדיק באמונתו יחיה - the righteous live in their faith.

I heard a story that was told on NPR this week of a non-Jew who has owned a restaurant his entire adult life. It is a family business. While they are not able to serve customers in the way they normally do, they are providing take out, and serving as a source of strength in their community. The son in his 50s was asked about his 80+ year old father who has given his life to this business: Isn't he worried about the virus? Doesn't he know it can kill him if he gets it?

The answer? My father has given his life to this place, and to the role he plays in our community. We are people of faith. If it is his time, and the virus is meant to get him, he is prepared for that possibility. He understands that as being God's will. But he is serving God in not abandoning the people who need him at this time.

I am not suggesting that people ought to congregate and rely on the Almighty's protection. Of course we must take necessary precautions. Rabbi Soloveitchik distinguished between the person of faith and the person of destiny - the former accepting what God throws at him as God's will, the latter rising to the occasion and seeking to impact and possibly change the course of what seems to be a challenging or difficult trajectory of activity. Clearly Rabbi Soloveitchik favors the latter person, while understanding that the person of faith is out there as well. (My father likes to quote this.)

If a person gets sick, the person can say "It's God's will." Or the person can say, "I'll seek medical attention." (Even though medical advice might often be, 'let it run its course and you should be fine.') In most out-of-the-ordinary cases I would certainly advocate seeking medical attention!

The point is that as a retrospect, the person who believes in God accepts the ultimate outcomes as having come from the Almighty.

Let us remember Whose world we inhabit and from Whom the gift we call life comes. When we put ourselves in His hands and accept that ultimately He is in charge, we can live in peace and at peace with whatever will be.

During the months of Elul and Tishrei we add Tehillim 27 to our daily regimen of prayer, which includes the words

9Do not hide Your presence from me; do not turn Your servant away with anger. You were my help; do not forsake me and do not abandon me, O God of my salvation.		טאַל־תַּסְתֵּ֬ר פָּנֶ֨יךָ | מִמֶּנִּי֘ אַל־תַּט בְּאַ֗ף עַ֫בְדֶּ֥ךָ עֶזְרָתִ֥י הָיִ֑יתָ אַל־תִּטְּשֵׁ֥נִי וְאַל־תַּֽ֜עַזְבֵ֗נִי אֱלֹקי יִשְׁעִֽי:
10For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord gathers me in.		יכִּֽי־אָבִ֣י וְאִמִּ֣י עֲזָב֑וּנִי וַֽ֜ה' יַֽאַסְפֵֽנִי:
11Instruct me, O Lord, in Your way, and lead me in the straight path because of those who lie in wait for me.		יאה֚וֹרֵ֥נִי ה' דַּ֫רְכֶּ֥ךָ וּ֖נְחֵנִי בְּאֹ֣רַח מִישׁ֑וֹר לְ֜מַ֗עַן שֽׁוֹרְרָֽי:

May COVID-19 be contained so normal life may resume. May we live to embrace that day that "the Lord gathers me in" because He is the One constant I can rely on after everything else is gone.