"The Years That Avraham LIVED"

Parshat Chayei Sarah

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Both our first Patriarch and Matriarch die in this Torah portion. The parsha begins with the death of Sarah, hence the name “Chayei Sarah,” and it essentially concludes with the end of the lives of Avraham and Yishmael, respectively.

How Sarah’s death and Avraham’s death are portrayed are only slightly different, aside from the obvious difference in the number of years they lived.

“And these were the life of Sarah, 100 hundred years, 20 years, and 7 years, the years of the life of Sarah.” (23:1) For Avraham it says, “These were the days of the years of the life of Avraham, that he lived, 100 years, 70 years and 5 years.” (25:7)

In the depiction of the summary of Avraham’s life, there is a curious phrase that seems unnecessary: “That he lived.”

It should seem obvious that if we are seeing an enumeration of the numbers of years of Avraham’s life, that these are the years that he lived. We never say “so and so was 90 at death, and he lived a different number of years," so why is that the implication for Avraham?

Firstly, we do actually say this at times, such as when a person spent the last few years in a terrible medical condition. Whether Alzheimer’s, dementia, vegetative, unresponsive, a coma, etc – how often do we hear family members say “This is not a life anymore.” Always praying for a recovery, of course, but also hoping for an end to suffering.

Even with such a disclaimer, the phrase still begs an explanation.

Or HaChaim utilizes a known Midrash about Eisav, that he was about to (as we might say today) “go off the derech,” and Avraham’s life was cut short by 5 years so he wouldn’t see Eisav in a bad light. This Midrash presupposes that all 3 patriarchs were supposed to live for 180 years.

In this perspective “Avraham lived” only 175 of the years of what were supposed to be his 180.

Kli Yakar’s approach is a little more profound. Focusing not on Avraham’s missing 5 years, he notes the difference between the life of Avraham and the life of Sarah. Sarah’s life was much more tragic – between her infertility, her being abducted by Pharaoh, Avimelekh and perhaps others, and dealing with the aftermath of the binding of Yitzchak – it’s hard to say she lived life to the fullest and got the most out of as many moments as possible.

Avraham, on the other hand, lived life to the utmost. From recognizing God at a younger age, spreading ideas of monotheism, having a spectacular relationship with God, having a number of children, and even seeing his grandchildren in his lifetime, Avraham’s life was a life that “he lived.”

And so we must ask ourselves a simple question. Because of course we all go through the motions of life and live our allotted years. But in what manner do we make our lives “worth living?”

For some people life is about providing for the material needs of self, family and others.
For some people life is about getting as close to God as possible.
Some people put much stock in their daily davening. Some in their regular learning.
Some want to eat, drink, and be merry.
Some don’t want anyone to tell them what to do.
Some focus on politics, some focus on sports, some on current events, while some are ignorant of it all.

Are we living our lives well – making this one-time gift into a life that was worth it?

Avraham did it at every moment. Sarah didn’t merit it for various reasons. And now the question is about us. How do we live our lives? Are we truly living in every possible moment?