by Rabbi Avi Billet
I wonder what it was like for Yitzchak and Rivkah to bare their souls before the Almighty in their hopes of having a child.
Yitzchak pleaded with God opposite his wife, (or perhaps, as Rashbam translates, for his wife’s sake) for she was barren. God granted his plea, and his wife Rivkah became pregnant.
Perhaps in the repetition of the word “Ishto” there’s a subtle hint of a generational difference. While Avraham was eventually agreeable to the idea that he could have a child from another woman, this was not an option for Yitzchak. He wanted the child to come from HIS WIFE RIVKAH.
The Midrash explains that his prayer was more worthy than hers because he was a tsaddik ben tsaddik – the righteous product of righteous parents. Does this mean her prayer was worthless? How could it be that the prayer of someone who has unrighteous parents is worthless?
The Midrash Sechel Tov throws an interesting twist, suggesting that her barreness was a response to the blessing of her family when she left, those who told her to be a mother of a multitude of descendants – the fact that she is childless for 20 years demonstrates that their blessing was worthless. Her children were born on account of her husband’s prayer.
That’s no justification for her personal suffering! 20 years of infertility, just so her brother wouldn’t get the credit of his blessing coming true? Troubling!
There is an interesting theory in the rabbinosphere about why the Foremothers were all barren until prayer or a blessing opened their wombs. The Talmud (Yebamot 64) says quite simply that God wanted their “prayers of the righteous.”
Rabbenu Bechaya notes from here that the prayers of the righteous have the power to change nature. And the proof is from the specific word the Torah uses, “Va’ye’etar,” whose root references a farming tool which overturns grain. This prayer was to overturn God’s decree. (Paroh uses the same language to Moshe four times, perhaps for obvious reasons.)
He goes on to give specific reasons for the barren-ness of each of the mothers.
- Sarah – She was barren so that Yishmael would be born. She was barren to open the door for her name to change. Sarai was barren. But Sarah was not.
- Rivkah was barren for 20 years – why? So that Eisav would not have the chance to rebel in Avraham’s lifetime. For Avraham to “come to his fathers in peace,” Eisav’s birth needed to be delayed 20 years.
- Rachel was barren so that Bilhah and Zilpah would be put into a position from which they could produce Dan, Naftali, Gad, Asher.
The Slonimer Rebbe says, You’re looking at it wrong. It doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Prayer, Tefillah, Kavvanah, requires one to demonstrate the quality of being extremely humble, especially before the Almighty. Someone who comes from a not as clean background has a very EASY time humbling oneself. “God. I know I’ve done bad things in my life. I know I come from parents who were sinful. So I am undeserving. But, here I am.”
It’s pretty easy to be a realist in that kind of situation.
But a Tzaddik ben Tzaddik? “God. I’m a good person. My parents were good people. So I’m not really sure why I’m having this difficult time in my life. Here I am.”
It is much harder for such a person to humble oneself and say, “I am nothing. My background is worth nothing. Everything I’ve done in my life is meaningless before you. So here I am, asking for something I don’t deserve to get.”
Do you think Yitzchak wanted a child more than Rivkah did? The Meshech Chokhma says Yitzchak knew he was going to have a child! It was promised to him by God through the blessing to Avraham. He knew he was not the problem! Therefore, as Chizkuni notes, he didn’t need to pray for himself!
And so he prayed for her.
And of course Rivkah also wanted a child. But many who describe her prayer explain it similarly as her saying I only want a child with HIM. And she prayed for her husband to be the father of her children – that they should be able to make it work.
This is the lesson we have to remember. Prayer is sometimes selfish. But more often it’s selfless. I’m praying for the other person. I’m looking out for my family, my friends. And I am humbling myself so that God can see that I am sincere.
Davening is only meaningful if it is a serious endeavor. And as we learn from the Slonimer Rebbe, the more one humbles oneself, the more powerful the davening is.
This is our challenge when we come to shul. To daven like Yitzchak and Rivkah. To have our priorities clear and correct. To know what we come to do, what we have to do to achieve it, and how this challenge can last twenty years… or a lifetime! until our goals are met. Those of us who have a spouse should pray for our spouse. Those of us who have children, should pray for our children. Those who have grandchildren or great-grandchildren, should be very busy in the synagogue – praying for each and every one of them.
We should also pray for those who are or seem to be alone, that they should find the "simchas hachaim" (joy of living) they seek to have, in whatever ways they choose to go about making this life meaningful.
And those of us who have no family have a community. Pray for our community, locally and globally – pray for the people of Israel. Pray that we should experience peace and prosperity, and the continued opportunity to enjoy life with family, friends, communities, and, most humbly, with our God.
No comments:
Post a Comment