B'Terem - The Drama of Immediacy

Parshat Vayigash

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The word “Terem” or “B’Terem” (‘just before’) appears in the Torah close to twenty times, sometimes serving as a dramatic preposition enhancing a narrative tale, setting the stage for the unfolding drama that is most riveting.

                

“Terem” Lot’s guests  were to retire for the night, the people of Sedom gathered at Lot’s house. (19:4) “Terem” Avraham’s servant finished speaking his condition/prayer, Rivkah emerged. (24:15,45)

                

Yitzchak instructed Eisav to prepare food for him, so the son could earn a blessing “B’terem” his father dies. (27:4) Yitzchak finished eating Yaakov’s food and completed his encounter with Yaakov “B’terem” Eisav returned with his prepared meal. (27:33)

                

The brothers saw Yosef from a distance, and b’terem his arrival, they plotted to murder him. (37:18)

                

Yosef’s two sons were born b’terem the famine years arrived. (41:50) Perhaps the drama here comes in the added drive given to Yosef to succeed in his food storage endeavors – the survival of his children.

                

Finally, in our parsha, when Yaakov learns that Yosef is alive, he declares “I will go and see him b’terem I die.” (48:28)

                

Judging from Yitzchak’s estimation of his own death, we can see that while the premonition of death runs in the family, the estimation of time until departure is typically way off. Yitzchak lived another 57 years, and it will turn out that Yaakov will live another 17 years.

                

So why did these men think they were going to die? Rashi says (27:2) that when one gets to within 5 years of the age of death of a parent, one needs to begin setting one’s house in order. It is a good litmus test for one’s survival. Since Sarah lived to 127, Yitzchak’s mortality radar started blinking at 123.

            

The Midrash also tells us in a number of places (see Tosafot Yevamot 61b) that Rivkah lived as long as Kehat. Since he lived to 133 (Shmot 6:18), clearly Yaakov’s mortality radar screen was similarly blinking when he was 130.

                

But is that really what’s on his mind? He seems a lot more pessimistic than merely thinking about his mother’s age of demise when confronted with his age-question by the curious Pharaoh.  (47:8)

                

Considering that Yaakov has thought Yosef to be dead for 22 years, it was never his intention to hold out on giving up on life until he saw Yosef again. So what is a proper explanation for his stating “I will see Yosef b’terem I die.”  Clearly he thinks he is about to die for other reasons, and seeing Yosef is now going to be a bonus in what has otherwise been, in his own words to Pharaoh, “'The days of my life have been few and hard.” (47:9)

                

Some of the commentaries say Yaakov meant, “Though my years have not even come close to those of my father and grandfather, it’s been a rough life.” Radak takes this to mean that Yaakov was worn out. He felt weak and had a premonition that his days were numbered.

                

Yaakov was a man of truth. And the truth is that he suffered from the debilitating mind-game that overtakes people who have given up on life. I had a conversation this week with someone whose father recently passed away, and he told me that his father was an avid traveler who never thought about how old he was until he had a mind-shift that told himself, “I’m old.” This man felt that as soon as his father focused on his turning 90, that was the beginning of the end. He told me of a woman he knows who is 107, but lives every day to the max. Her age is not a focus of her existence. Because her focus is on her life, and not on how much closer she is to the grave.  This was certainly true of Alice Herz-Sommer, the pianist Holocaust survivor  (subject of the documentary “The Lady in Number 6”) (see embedded video at the end), who passed away this past February at age 110. What an amazing attitude she had – her age was irrelevant to her.

                

The drama unfolded by the word “B’terem” shows us that Yaakov was literally at death’s door. He had sold himself down the river. He was done with life. But the news of Yosef’s success gave him a new sense of purpose, so much so that he didn’t even realize that he had given himself a new lease on life. In 45:27 we see that Yaakov’s spirit was revived. And in 45:28, he still thinks he’s about to die.

                

But the shift has reversed itself. Yaakov, in his heart, and perhaps in his mind as well, is looking forward to seeing Yosef. Looking forward to hearing the story, whatever story he’ll hear. Looking forward to meeting any grandchildren he may have. But as he’s making the shift, he has the sense of urgency, the sense of immediacy, that death will come very soon on account of every other factor of life that has brought him to this point.

                

The hope is that all people in that later stage of life can tap into an urgency of finding amazing things to live for. The mind game that says that at 75,80,90,100 “I’m just getting started!” can hopefully provide a very necessary ingredient and attitude (and “chiyus!”) that will lead to good health and mindset as seniors embrace the different stages of the second half of life.

Yosef's Pharaoh: Old or Young?

Parshat Miketz

By Rabbi Avi Billet

We are well aware of the ages of Yosef and Yaakov in their journeys  through Egypt. Yosef was 17 when he was sold, 30 when he stood before Pharaoh, and 39 when his brothers came to Egypt looking for food.

                
Yaakov was 108 when Yosef was sent to Egypt, and he tells Pharaoh in Vayigash that he is 130, after Pharaoh asks him “How old are you?”

                
The question is, how old was this Pharaoh? Not knowing which of the Egyptian Pharaohs he was, nor exactly when Yosef was elevated to viceroy, we can not say with any certainty.

                
But in reading the narrative, the possibility lends itself that Pharaoh was much younger, in line with the reality that some of the Pharaohs were boys when they assumed the leadership of ancient Egypt.

                
Does it really matter how old he was? Probably not. But his age, especially if he was much younger, does explain many of the questions we may have in trying to understand how Pharaoh took such a liking to Yosef so quickly.

                
His impetuousness caused him to throw his Chief Cupbearer and Chief Baker into prison. And even such a youthful obstinance could call for the death of his Chief Baker. Especially if he relies heavily on the advice of others. 

                
He celebrates a birthday. He doesn’t trust any of his advisors when it comes to interpreting his dream. He meets Yosef, a young, handsome, seemingly trustworthy man. He develops an instant accord with him, and takes his advice to such an extent that he gives Yosef the keys to the kingdom putting him in charge of all the food for the years of Plenty.

                
Was Pharaoh incapable of using someone in-house? Was he unable to supervise the efforts himself?

                
If we view him as a youth, relatively inexperienced, we can understand why Pharaoh feels the way he does towards Yosef. Everyone else who speaks to him patronizes him. Everyone else thinks they are working in his best interest. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like being babied, being pampered, and being treated as if any idea which he thinks of won’t work because he is merely a youth.

                
Yosef comes along, and treats the king in the manner the king wants to be treated. As a human being. As an equal. As a king. As a ruler. Especially one who is capable of making his own decisions.

                
In a sense, we can suggest that Pharaoh is looking to make Yosef as the father-figure he is lacking in his life. Yosef even states, when he reveals himself to his brothers, “God has made me a father to Pharaoh, and a master over all of Egypt.” (45:8) And this is why, when Yosef makes his suggestion to Pharaoh, that Pharaoh should appoint a man over the food undertaking (41:33), putting in Pharaoh’s hands alone the decision of whom to choose – not making it dependent on the insights of his advisors – Pharaoh is enamored and enraptured and feels Yosef will be the best person to fill the role. He’ll be a personal confidant to Pharaoh, an outsider who understands the king, who has been through a different kind of school of hard knocks (though for Yosef it was prison, while for Pharaoh it was taking control of Egypt at such a young age).

                
I can’t prove this theory. The only evidence I’ve found referring to Pharaoh’s age actually has him as a much much older man (see Torah Shleimah on 47:8) – but there is no evidence in ancient Egypt (that I am aware of) to support an over 100-year old Pharaoh.

                
The lesson to take from this is either that young people need mentors, or that they need to be given a chance. If Pharaoh was younger, and was looking to Yosef to be his mentor, the relationship worked splendidly.

                
And if, in fact, Yosef was younger, then he was given the chance he needed to exercise his talents in a field where he could shine. The opportunity afforded to him by Pharaoh may have come from an attitude that says, “I’ll give this kid a chance. And if he messes up, he’s expendable. But if he proves himself, and the first impression he has given is correct, then we will all benefit from his success.”

                
Based on how the tale of Egypt’s, and the world’s survival at that time follows in the Torah, it seems everyone did benefit from Yosef’s success.

                
If only the world can still acknowledge what Yosef (or those who identify with his nationality) contributes to the world, the Jewish people and the State of Israel would be appreciated by all of humanity.

Of Butler(s) and Baker(s)

Parshat Vayeshev

by Rabbi Avi Billet

After discovering questions that never bothered me before, and using certain learning skills acquired in classes taught by the late Rabbi Mordechai Breuer, a new approach to the tale of the dreams Yosef interprets at the end of our parsha became apparent. Wonderfully, some of these ideas are also shared by Abravanel and Alshikh (and others) – both of whose interpretations of chapter 40 are essential.

                

When the Torah describes for us the circumstances surrounding Pharaoh’s sending his servants into prison, the verses become inexplicably repetitive.

1.       The king of Egypt’s butler and the baker sin to their master, the king of Egypt.

2.       Pharaoh gets angry at his two officers: the officer of the butlers, and the officer of the bakers.

3.       He placed them in the holding cell (mishmar) of the officer of butchers, to the prison (beit hasohar) where Yosef is imprisoned.

4.       The officer of butchers appointed Yosef [to be] with them, and he served them, while they spent days [yamim] in the holding cell [mishmar]

5.       The two of them dreamed a dream, each his own dream, and each his interpretation, the butler and the baker of the king of Egypt, who are imprisoned in the prison (beit hasohar).

6.       Yosef came to them in the morning and saw they were perturbed.

7.       And he asked the officers of Pharaoh, that were with him in the holding cell (mishmar) of the house of his master saying, “Why are your faces so upset today?”

The most notable changes in the text from verse to verse are a. the difference between referring to the singular baker and butler (verses 1,5) and the “officers over many” (verses 2,7), b. the sin (verse 1) vs. Pharaoh’s anger (verse 2), c. the location of imprisonment – a beit hasohar (2^nd half of 3, 5) vs. a mishmar (1^st half of 3, 4, 7), d. the nature of the prison location – beit hasohar is where Yosef was at the end of chapter 39, while the mishmar seems to be a private prison in the house of the officer of butchers – Yosef’s former master, e. those who work for the king of Egypt (verses 1,5) vs. those who have a relationship with Pharaoh (verses 2,7).

                

I am unfamiliar with Rabbi Breuer’s teachings on this chapter. But I would imagine his either saying there are two aspects (shtei bechinot) to what is going on here or two different strings of action. If two aspects – one is on the micro level in terms of what happened to two specific workers, while the macro is the significance for the future of the nation of Israel, when Yosef, who is destined to be king, approaches people who are light years ahead of him politically, but who will be serving him (if they survive) within a short time.

                

If there are two different strings of action, there is a single butler and a single baker, each from a full team of butlers and bakers, who sinned in some manner against the king. They are thrown into a prison for political prisoners, one from which there is theoretically no escape. Their overseers, officers, are also punished (after all, they bear responsibility for the flaws of their underlings), but are sent to a minimum security place called a mishmar. Because the mishmar is in Yosef’s master’s home, and because the officers were high ranking, the officer of butchers wants them to be pampered while in prison, so he takes Yosef out of the inescapable jail (beit hasohar) in order to be in the minimum security place (mishmar) from which cases are heard and people are given a chance at being reinstated to their former positions.

                

There are certainly commentators who will suggest this whole exercise is a waste of time because the butler and the baker are the same persons as the Officer of the Butlers and the Officer of the Bakers.

                

And yet a careful study of the verses does leave one wondering why there is so much repetition. Was Yosef wrong, and therefore punished by God, on account of asking the Officer of Butlers to remember him to Pharaoh? Or was his request reasonable, and the Officer of Butlers forgot (as people often do) in the heat of the moment? Was the timing perhaps not right for Yosef to get out of prison? Had he gone out then, what options would have been before him? To work for Potiphar (not great, on numerous levels), to work for someone else (also not great), to go home (??? – what makes him think Pharaoh would ever send him home?). All options would have played against his getting a direct audience with Pharaoh and being subsequently appointed as viceroy. And remember that the main reason he gets that audience is because the officer of Butlers remembers him to Pharaoh.

                

Whether there are two aspects to the tale, or two strings of action, the consideration that Yosef did everything correctly and that he was not a victim of circumstance any more than he was a tool in God’s Divine Plan needs revisiting. We don’t necessarily know why Yosef is thrown in a pit by his brothers and later into a prison-pit. But all of his adventures were meant to harden him and train him to be capable of rising to the position of viceroy when he was ready.

This is the story of our people. Sometimes we look at events in our lives, and they don’t make sense. Or on our own micro level, they are difficult to comprehend. But if we can recall that we are all pieces of a much more macro image of the story of the Jewish people, perhaps we can sense that our lives matter, and that all the pitfalls and trials we undergo are cogs in the great wheel that will ultimately make our people ready to embrace the Final Redemption.

Fear of the Unknown

Parshat Vayishlach

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Yaakov sends messengers to Eisav telling Eisav his story about having lived with Lavan and having amassed wealth. Perhaps Yaakov is indicating his intent to put the past behind them. “I am happy to share my wealth with you, and I hope you are well. I am your servant." It could be Yaakov hopes not to see Eisav at all.

The messengers come back with the news that “we ‘came’ to your brother, to Eisav, and he is ‘going’ to you accompanied by 400 men.” Alshikh explains “coming” implies closeness – how Yaakov’s servants intended to approach Eisav - while “going” implies distance, perhaps indicating the attitude Eisav was bringing to his encounter with Yaakov.

Where was Eisav coming from? Some suggest he was at home, with no intent to come until he heard Yaakov was on his way (Sforno, Ibn Ezra) But what was his intent? This is unclear: he’s simply “coming” (Ramban); he’s coming to fight because he hates you (Rashi and many others); he is happy about your return and is bringing 400 men to honor you (Rashbam, Chizkuni).

Certainly the indication of the verse is that Rashbam and Chizkuni are correct, and that the fear of battle was all in Yaakov’s mind. The encounter certainly includes no ill intentions, Eisav greets Yaakov warmly with hug and kiss, as he is gracious and magnanimous.

Why then was Yaakov afraid?

He may have been fearful for his life, or as Rashi, etc suggest, he had a concern either that he would be killed, or that he'd be forced to take a life in self-defense.

But the man had been promised by God that He would protect him and return him home safely! Where is Yaakov's faith in God?

If Adino HaEtzni (Shmuel II 23:8) killed 800 men by himself! Yaakov, who fought with an angel, is afraid of 400 men?! (R Chaim Paltiel)

The Midrash tells in the name of Resh Lakish and Rav Yanai that each of the 400  men was a “man” like Eisav – in charge of 400 men each. This suggests he had at least 160,000 people. This is reason to fear.

There are other suggestions of why Yaakov feared: Eisav had merits from honoring his father, Yaakov hadn’t fulfilled his promise to tithe in Beit El, or what Toldot Yitzchak suggests, that if Eisav seems to be coming to attack Yaakov, it must mean Yitzchak is dead. The fear that Yaakov is then experiencing is that he will never see his father again.

Of course, the most likely reason for Yaakov's fear follows that of the Chizkuni – the fear comes from the unknown – Yaakov did not know if Eisav's intentions are good or bad.

And this confusion is noted in Yaakov's language when he says, “Please save me from my brother, from Eisav” meaning, he is pretending to be my brother, but he remains Eisav the hunter and trapper.

I don't think we have to look at Yaakov's fear from the perspective of the numbers. On paper Goliath should have defeated David. On paper Israel should not have defeated Arab armies in most of the wars they fought. And yet, the unexpected happened, and the underdog survived the conflicts.

Fear doesn't come from numbers. It comes from the unknown.

Eisav may have nice intentions. And maybe, in the end, the niceness comes out. But the bottom line is that it cannot be assumed. Preparation needs to be made for the worst. Because, too often, the worst turns out to be the reality. Eisav, unfortunately, is unpredictable. We don't know what he is thinking.

We may be “coming” with love and with the dove of peace, but Eisav may still be “going” to his own destination, irrespective of where we stand on that journey.

When random people are murdered or stabbed in Israel simply because the attackers view all Jews as aggressors who deserve this physical assault, the fear that emerges from those at a bus station or a train station is that of the unknown. Will anything happen today?

Yaakov needs to carry his fears, because he does not know what his adversary is thinking or has going for him: the other side may be more worthy in the eyes of God, maybe we haven’t kept our promises to God, maybe we’ve strayed so far from our Father in Heaven that he is “dead” to us. We must take precautions that these not become true for us. Recommit to God, keep our word.

For the sake of survival, our brothers and sisters in Israel and around the world surely must subscribe to the fear Rashi ascribes to Yaakov, “That I will be forced to kill someone in self-defense” – as Golda Meir articulated when she said, “We can forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but we can’t forgive them for forcing us to kill their sons.”

But the rule of “when one comes to kill you, you must rise to kill him first” is essential for survival. Without it, we are all sitting ducks.

The Kli Yakar summarized Yaakov’s thought process: "May Hashem be with me and protect me from those who show themselves to be helpers and loved ones but who truly have hatred embedded in their hearts."

Facing the unknown can be frightening, even for the God-fearing, and even for those who are righteous in their ways. But when we feel those we encounter harbor hatred in their hearts, it becomes our challenge, like Yaakov, to be prepared for the worst, while we continue to hope for the best.