Toldos:
A Time To Mourn, a Time to Live
This has
been a very difficult week. For all of us. There were more people attacked yesterday. Who knows what today will bring?
Who would
ever think that just going to shul, a normal procedure for many of us on a
daily basis, could become an act that we might associate with a horrifying tragedy? (so many possible links...)
We must all
take, teach and spread an important language lesson.
When Jews
are murdered because they are Jews, we don’t record with “profound
sorrow” their passing. We don’t mourn the “death” of the deceased.
And we certainly don’t say ברוך דיין האמת.
We record
with “horrifying pain” their murder. We mourn for the “evil
crime perpetrated” against the murdered and against all of כלל ישראל – we cry with their families, with 25
orphans, with tens of grandchildren who no longer have grandfathers, with 4
unexpectant widows. And with all of אחינו בני ישראל. And instead of Blessing the Dayan HaEmet,
the true judge, we cry out HASHEM YINKOM DAMAM. May GOD AVENGE THEIR BLOOD!!
That their murderers are dead is fitting. But their damage is done. And most
sadly, it cannot be undone.
I have a
very hard time swallowing the idea that these murders are brought about by a דיין האמת. I believe terrorists have free will, and
they behave independent of the Will of the דיין האמת. It’s a struggle to consider that life and
death are written on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur – is this really what God had
in mind?
We also
mourn for a police officer – Zidan Sayif. Not a Jew. But an Israeli hero
nonetheless. Who gave his life to save his fellow Israelis. Rav Ovadiah Yosef,
Z”L in one of his later teshuvos – when asked if a prayer could be said in a
synagogue for a Druze soldier who was killed in the line of duty in defense of
the State of Israel – wrote the following:
The Druze
believe in one God. They are not idolators. They believe in the concept of the
soul. They enlist in the IDF, and put their lives on the line to protect the
citizens of Israel. They abide by the 7 Noachide laws. They are included in the
righteous gentiles of the world. ABSOLUTELY PRAY FOR THEM.
As one
headline I saw said, “Israel’s latest hero isn’t even Jewish.”
So let us
save the blessings for the Dayan HaEmet for when He in His own
ways ends a life. But when Jews are murdered, we MUST MUST MUST CALL EVIL FOR
WHAT IT IS, AND DEMAND OF GOD TO ENACT VENGEANCE AGAINST MURDERERS and those
who send them to perform their despicable acts. Just as we say for victims of
the Holocaust, Hashem Yinkom Damam, and we say Y’mach Sh’mam V’Zichram about
their murderers, the same appelations apply to victims of terrorist aggression
and those who perpetrate the same. Who “excuse” their barbaric behavior as a
“natural response to the occupation.” There is nothing natural about the use of
meat cleavers and machetes. Any human being who excuses this kind of behavior
has no credibility and no shred of humanity.
My sister
shared with me a note written by the widows of (Hashem Yinkom Damam) Rabbis
Kalman Levine, Moshe Twersky, Aryeh Kopinsky, Mr. Avraham Goldberg, imploring ALL OF ACHEINU BNEI YISRAEL to
dedicate this Shabbos, Parshas Toldos, as a יום של אהבת חינם. A Day Of Baseless Love for our Fellow
Jews. Charging us to avoid senseless quibbles, speaking lashon hara and
rechilus – gossip and slander. Speaking ill of one another. I am sure this is
something we can all do, as they put it – as an עילוי נשמת the souls of their murdered husbands,
fathers, grandfathers.
It shouldn’t
take tragedy or a response to tragedy for us ALL to commit to this. But at
least for today, let us honor this request.
In our
parsha today we read of two instances where someone was fearful for his life –
each responded to the concern in a different way.
Yitzchak was
worried that if people found out he was married that they would kill him and
take his wife as the prize.
Rivkah was
worried that Eisav would make good on his promise to kill Yaakov after having
lost his intended bracha through seeming deception.
Yitzchak
lived amongst his enemies after discovering the threat to his life, and eventually moved to a town not too far away. Yaakov chose to run away, to let time heal the
wounds, so that when he would eventually return, bygones would be bygones.
The eventual
confrontation, in both cases, went surprisingly well.
In our
parsha, after Yitzchak is first given asylum, then thrown
out of Gerar because of his financial success, Avimelekh finally turns to Yitzchak to
make peace. After Yitzchak counters “WHY ARE YOU HERE – YOU HATE ME?”
Avimelekh explains his reasoning because, as he puts it, רָאוֹ רָאִינוּ
כִּי־הָיָה יְקֹוָק עִמָּךְ. We see
God is with you.
In
Parshas Vayishlach, if you ignore the Midrash for a moment, we see that Eisav is more than cordial at his reunion with Yaakov. He
even appears to be magnanimous – telling Yaakov he doesn’t need the gifts
Yaakov gave him, inviting Yaakov to live with him in Seir. It’s an incredible
twist from what we’d expect.
What
happened? Why would these sworn enemies make peace? Did they get religion?
Avimelekh mentions God. Eisav says יש לי רב – which probably doesn’t really mean “I got me a rabbi.”
I
think that for both of these men, TIME gave them the element of perspective.
Avimelekh was able to see that fighting with Yitzchak was not to his benefit.
If the Jew was successful financially and would only be contributing to his
nation’s economy, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to expel him from [Spain, Portugal, England, Germany, Palestine, Israel...] Gerar.
Eisav
took an honest assessment of his assets 20 years after Yaakov left and saw he
had a significant family, his nation was well under way in its formation, and
he had actually done well financially. He owed his success to the blessing he
received, and of course, to his own prowess, strength and talents, which were
best served at creating and building, rather than in complaining and
destroying.
The
Jews in Israel are not going to move to an outskirt city – like Yitzchak did in
moving to Nachal Gerar. They’re not going to leave the country, as Yaakov did
in fleeing to Charan. The recognition of ראו ראינו כי היה
ה עמך, and that יש לי רב have to be reached by the Arabs in the land. I believe that the
policies of the State of Israel reflect that they recognize these truths about
the Arabs. The Arabs aren’t going anywhere, and their religion (when practiced
peacefully) is respected. But it takes two to tango. And we continue to wait
for TIME to help them come around to the reality that our People are not going
anywhere, and that Judaism is an honorable and peaceful religion, that Jews
don’t resort to violence to make a point.
But
we will respond to provocative violence with force, because we must. As Golda
Meir once put it - "I understand
the Arabs wanting to wipe us out, but do they really expect us to
cooperate?"
Koheles
says לכל זמן. And I
think we can say that only time will tell what will be. Will the events in Har
Nof be a turning point in terms of how Israel views its security concerns? Will
the world recognize that they who have supported the Palestinians are on the
wrong side – because this is what they are supporting?
When
CNN and the BBC can be called out over and over and over for their biased reporting on this
story – equating the death of the murderers by police with the death of theirvictims, declaring the attack having taken place in a mosque, suggesting all
Israelis (including babies) are like combat soldiers worthy of being targetedby terrorists in their struggle, telling Naftali Bennett that holding up apicture of a murdered Jew is offensive while they posted pictures – mostlystaged, fake, or lifted from Syrian conflicts – of dead Arabs throughout the
summer – when normal media calls them out for their buffoonery and malice, this
is an incredible turn. Will it be a turning point? For CNN – the Chamas News
Network – probably not. But good people are taking notice.
Most
importantly, will the decent people in the Arab world take the perspective of
the Druze – embrace their citizenship in Israel, be proud of their country,
denounce terrorism, change their rhetoric, recognize that if they can only see
what Avimelekh saw – that the Jews have lowered their infant mortality rate,
have raised their life expectancy age, have improved their medical care, have
brought great blessing to the Land, have made a wasteland much more than just inhabitable,
have provided a free society where they can live, raise families, practice
their faith and fulfill a human purpose on Earth of being a contributing member
of society – will they oust the evil from within them?
Only
time will tell.
While
people who are hated are discussed in theoretical cases throughout the Torah,
there are three individuals who are specifically hated using the word שנאה: Yitzchak is hated by Avimelekh. Leah feels hated as a wife.
And Yosef is hated by his brothers. Before the sun sets on the book of
Bereshis, all of these hatreds are resolved. Peace with Avimelekh is achieved.
Yaakov has seven children with Leah and is buried with her. Yosef and his
brothers reconcile.
Hatred
can lead to peace. It is possible.
My
sister who lives in Israel shared with me a nice story that perhaps is a
demonstration of this: Someone she knows shared a tidbit from her morning on
Thursday, when she was in a bakery
in Jerusalem and noticed she was standing behind Natan Sharansky. She told him
she had just cited from his book this week in a class she was teaching on Sefer
Tehillim, sharing his inspiring story of how he had kept a tiny book of
Tehillim with him at all times, even when he had to struggle with the
authorities to get it back. At that point, Sharansky smiled, reached into his
shirt pocket and pulled out a tiny (palm-sized) tattered book of Tehillim.
Stunned, she asked him “Do you carry that wherever you go?” Sharansky didn’t
even pause and he replied “Actually, it carries me!” We know his story. For
him, hatred turned to peace when he was given his freedom and he was able to
emigrate.
My father went to Israel for half a
day to make shiva visits to the four families in Har Nof. His report to his children written after his visits, which he sent to us via email, began: “I
visited all four families. They each received me very nicely. These are very
religious people who have a lot of trust and faith in God. Therefore they have
accepted God's judgment with love.”
Their letter expresses – through very
broken hearts – this love. Love of God, and love of Am Yisrael. If Sharansky is
right, that his Tehillim continue to carry him, then let us tap into that
truth. If we can honor the request of these incredible families and love and
cherish one another, and take their model as an example of how to embrace God
even in the most troubling and challenging of times, we will be doing our part
to bring peace to the world. And in that merit, may the blessing achieved for
Yitzchak and Yaakov in their conflicts with Avimelekh and Eisav be heaped upon
all of us when the Goeil Tzedek helps God fulfill the prayer of ופרוש עלינו סכת שלומיך as the understanding of these tragedies becomes clear, and the
ultimate peace for our People throughout the world is achieved.
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