Veyetze Sermon - Thanksgivings of the Forefathers (Israel and Gaza)

Vayetze: Thanksgivings of the Forefathers

Rabbi Avi Billet

          Over the extended weekend, I was privy to a number of emails, online articles and Facebook postings of what people "are thankful for." This being the Thanksgiving Weekend, this concept is highly appropriate. In our own personal experiences, most of us surely have lists – they may be quite similar to one another, but of course they're not the same.

          Many people are grateful for a home to live in, a free country, family, etc.

          This week was a very emotional week for many of us, thinking about the situation in Israel; some of us have family there, or relatives in the army, and our thoughts and prayers go out to those who continue to endure what no peace loving nation should need to endure.

          Here is a short list of some of the things I am grateful for:

          Love him or hate him – I am grateful for Glenn Beck, one of the only individuals in any form of media who articulately expressed Israel's side and threw all the blame of Hamas and their terror into the corner in which it resides. If you haven't seen or heard thethings he shared during the recent conflict, you must find it on youtube or theblaze.com and listen to what an אוהב ישראל sounds like. (see here where he speaks of the three people killed by rockets)

          I am grateful for a ceasefire only if it really means no more rockets flying into Israel. Beyond that, I am not much of a fan as I would prefer Israel destroy all of Hamas infrastructure and send them back to the Middle Ages where they prefer to live. But I am not a politician and my opinion does not hold any sway in Israel.

          I am grateful for the support given by the State Department and the President to Israel's right to defend itself. I question why they only step in to intervene after Israel strikes back and not while all the rockets are flying, and my conclusion is that even the current State Department does not care much about Jewish blood. They will "allow" Israel to defend itself, but not too much. Once the Jew fights back, no one can stand it. They'll defend the right to self-defense, but they won't defend the right to live in peace without rockets terrorizing peaceful civilians.

          So while I appreciate the things which were said, I still think they were cowards in not stopping the rockets years earlier. Jewish life remains cheap, and "Jewish might" remains something which is admirable, but not something which is allowed to show itself for more than a week at a time.

          While I choose to be critical for all that was unsaid over the years, I am also thankful to the US for its role in supporting the Iron Dome missile defense system which undoubtedly saved many many lives and prevented significant damage in many ways.

          But I planned to talk about the Thanksgivings of the Forefathers – and in that vein, I am referring to their Thanksgiving dinners.

         While they did not likely have Turkey and stuffing or pumpkin pie, there are many meals which are described in the book of Bereishis, and they do share a common theme: Thanksgiving – a note of שהחיינו וקימינו והגיענו לזמן הזה. Surely the Avos ate on a daily basis, but the meals which are noted include the following:

          Avraham's meals – when the three guests came after his bris milah, when Yitzchak is weaned. One might say a meal was hosted for Eliezer when he is making the proposals to Rivkah on behalf of the patriarchal family - it's a sort of "L'Chaim" or engagement meal.

          Yitzchak's meals – when he makes peace with Avimelekh, and the foods Yaakov and Eisav bring to him

          Yaakov's meals – Yaakov serves a meal to Eisav in last week's parsha, and I discovered an approach in the meforshimthat suggests it was a celebratory meal shared with Eisav, to seal the deal ofthe purchase of the bechora, which the Daat Zekenim and others claim was over a large sum of cash. The meal is compared to Yaakov's final meal described in the Torah – the one when he makes peace with Lavan at the end of the sidrah. The other meal in which Yaakov partakes – or at least we assume he does – is at his wedding.

          Avraham's meals are self-explanatory: Post-bris, Avraham celebrates life and the opportunity to continue to do Chesed. He is bringing guests into his home. There's no indication that Avraham pulled all the stops in celebrating Yitchak's bris. But he did make a משתה גדול when Yitzchak was weaned. I guess he appreciated being able to sleep through the night again.

          Yitzchak's meals come when he makes peace with an adversary – Avimelekh, who stole and stuffed his wells, and who made life difficult for him; and at a time in his life when he seems to be looking to pass the baton. He isn't getting any younger, he is concerned he may die soon, and he wants to give Eisav the opportunity to do a mitzvah so he (Eisav) can receive a blessing as a reward. The ability to raise a child and live so long to bless him when he is well on in his mature years – Eisav and Yaakov were 63 when the blessing incident took place – is something to be thankful for.

          Which leaves us with Yaakov's meals. In Yaakov's case, irony abounds. There is a משתה when he marries לאה, but no celebration when he marries רחל. 13 years later he has a meal with a man he despises, after he articulates in no uncertain terms why he finds the man to be despicable – and if I could take out-of-context a joke I read-as-a-child in MAD Magazine, perhaps the only nice thing Yaakov could say about Lavan is that he happens to be Yaakov's father in law. Maybe we can also say he likes Lavan's daughters too.

          Just about every other meal celebrates something special – a bris, a chesed opportunity, a weaning, kibud av va'em, peace with a rival.

          Here there's a celebration at one wedding, but no celebration at the one where we would most expect it, and the peace with Lavan is not like with Avimelekh – it's more of the cold peace that exists between two enemy nations who don't really like one another but don't want to fight anymore either. You stay on your side and I'll stay on mine and we will have nothing to do with one another.

          Is this a celebration? Is this a Thanksgiving?

          The answer is that Yaakov's meals were different from everyone else's, because Yaakov was dealing with the biggest trickster the Torah has ever known. The Toldos Yitzchak explains the difference between Lavan and others: we saw clearly with Avraham and Lot (who I did not mention earlier because he is not one of the Avos) that when they serve a meal, they serve FOOD. Lavan, on the other hand, only served משתה – drinks! – so that as the Daas Zekenim points out as well – Yaakov would get drunk and would not notice that Leah was standing where Rachel should have been.

          Lavan wasn't only a low-life, he was cheap! We are told ויאסוף לבן את כל אנשי המקום ויעש משתה.  He gathered all the people together to make this משתה. Why? Since when does the Torah tell us about those who gather for a celebration, beyond the people whom the celebration honors? Never! We don't hear about Avraham's party list when he made a משתה גדול ביום הגמל את יצחק.

          The Malbim explains that Lavan only invited people so they could agree to the "rule" he was making up that "It is not done in our land to marry off the younger before the older." If he just made it up, Yaakov wouldn't believe him. But with the whole wedding party, Lavan stacks the vote in his direction "proving" that that's the custom. Why did he never mention it before to Yaakov? Because it was a fabrication – made up to justify his behavior. And, of course, Yaakov would never suspect a ruse was being pulled in front of so many people.

          And why did he need to justify it? Was he really trying to marry off Leah? The Midrash says it was a ruse to get Yaakov to stick around, because Lavan had been blessed on account of Yaakov's presence. Midrash Sechel Tov fleshes out the story suggesting that Lavan is called Lavan Ha'Arami because he was Lavan HaRamai – the trickster. He reminded everyone that they had been blessed with water ever since Yaakov came (recall the well incident with the stone – having a stone on a well indicates the need for rationing), and Lavan wanted to preserve Yaakov's presence in Aram. To that end, he suggested to his neighbors that he will marry Leah off to Yaakov, knowing he'd agree to stick around for another seven years in exchange for marrying Rachel. He convinced everyone to give gifts so Yaakov would be convinced all was legit - but then he (Lavan) sold the gifts to buy the food (whatever that may have been) for the celebratory meal. Using their own money - a party made from everyone's contributions.

          This is why there was no celebratory meal after the marriage to Rachel. Yaakov was stuck in Lavan-town for another seven years. That’s nothing for him to celebrate. And there was no way people were going to contribute again to help Lavan make a second meal. They had participated in a quote unquote celebration as a charade. Therefore there was no real celebration.

          With regard to the meal at the end of the parsha, after Lavan chases Yaakov, accuses him of stealing his daughters, Yaakov's children, and Lavan's belongings, they have a conversation which concludes with an agreement to leave one another alone.

          At that point, Yaakov sees all of Lavan's people as brothers and invites them for a meal:

The Radak describes Yaakov's intent in this way: עשה סעודה ומשתה כדי שיאכלו ביחד בהפרדם זה מזה לזכרון הברית:

          Lavan leaves in the morning. We never hear from him again. How did he feel? Was he at peace? Or was he stewing over the peace he was coerced into making? We don't know. But we do know that he is out of the picture, and as far as we know he doesn't cross the line he agrees never to cross.

          Is it a celebration for Yaakov? Is it really a Thanksgiving meal?

          In a sense it is! Lavan agrees never to bother Yaakov again, and as far as we know, he doesn't! Whether he is broygez about how it went down – he remains out of the picture and he and Yaakov have peace between them!

          Every Thanksgiving is an opportunity for us to express out gratitude for the good in our lives, and for the existence we can enjoy if we put the past behind us and move on with our lives. We don't forget the past, but we move on with the status quo. Or we try to improve the status quo with the materials and opportunities that lie before us.

          This is the challenge the State of Israel faces – with an enemy led by a Lavan-style leadership who are deceitful, who lie, who use Israel's humanitarian aid against Israel; who care more that Yaakov suffer than they care to look in their own backyard to address the suffering of their people that is in their hands to prevent or deal with.

          Lavan didn't like what he had to hear, but he did recognize that Yaakov had a right to move on with his life and that after 20 years of struggling with one another, that it was time to move on.

          When real peace was made, Yaakov was so ready to let bygones be bygones that he viewed all his adversaries as his "brothers." For Yaakov, this was a real Thanksgiving. A real blessing. He was now in charge of his own destiny and Lavan would never stand in his way again.

          Lavan is also in charge of his own destiny. He is no longer blessed with Yaakov's presence. But he can learn from the good Yaakov did, the blessing Yaakov brought to Lavan's home, and he can use his experience to make his life better. The ball is in his court.

I strongly believe that aside from the obvious reason, the State of Israel is Yaakov, and the choice Lavan faced is the choice the Arabs face today. They can embrace the reality of Israel בשמחה, or they can be broygez about it while they realize Israel is not going anywhere.

          But until they decide to acknowledge the celebratory meal of peace, there will not be peace in the region. And I do not believe it will be Israel's fault.

          The world has its narrative – some are Israel's allies, and some such as CNN – ChamasNews Network – will continue to be anything but.

Just as the Avos had their Thanksgiving meals celebrating specific events, we too have Thanksgiving and the simchas in our lives to be thankful for. But we continue to look forward to the day when Thanksgiving is not just a once a year celebration, but a year-round celebration for the eternal peace that will one day settle on our homeland and our Holy Land, במהרה בימינו אמן.