The Message of the Akeidah for YK and the New Year

Kol Nidre message - as delivered in Anshei Chesed of Boynton Beach

Since the second day of Rosh Hashana, our liturgy has put an important emphasis on the story of the Akeidah – the binding of Isaac. An additional paragraph was added to the selichot between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur week, and we will continue to talk about it tomorrow. Clearly there is import to this story that goes beyond a nice story... or a difficult story.

Some question as to why it is called The Binding of Isaac. Why not call it “the test of Abraham”? The focus is all on Abraham – on everything that he does.

Perhaps the account is remembered in Yitzchak’s name because he allowed it to take place – with no objections.

But it is also a reminder to Avraham about the good things he has in life - his son, and a need for him to focus on priorities.

After the incident, the Torah says אחר הדברים האלה (after these things - meaning, after the story of the Binding unfolded), then it lists Nachor’s (Abraham's brother's) children, including his granddaughter Rivkah.

Rashi there says

(כ) אחרי הדברים האלה ויגד וגו' - בשובו מהר המוריה היה אברהם מהרהר ואומר אילו היה בני שחוט כבר היה הולך בלא בנים, היה לי להשיאו אשה מבנות ענר אשכול וממרא, בשרו הקב"ה שנולדה רבקה בת זוגו, וזהו אחרי הדברים האלה הרהורי דברים שהיו על ידי עקידה:

"When he returned from Mt. Moriah, Abraham had a thought and he said, 'Had my son been slaughtered, he would have died childless. I should have married him to a wife from the daughters of Aner, Eshkol and Mamre.' At that moment, God informed him that Rivkah, Isaac's intended, had been born. This is what 'after these things' refers to... 'After these thoughts went through Avraham's head on account of the Akeidah' he heard about Rivkah's birth."

As he is thinking “Had my son died, he’d have been childless. I should have married him off" – sure enough Rivka has been born.

Imagine Avraham. As he is coming off the mountain, he may be thinking, “I had to deal with all the pain of no children for twenty some odd years, and then the difficulties of raising a child, and then the harshness of the last three days and the akeidah – thinking Yitzchak was going to die.”

And now he hears that Nachor had 12 sons and is already a grandfather! So many children! What is going on here? Why does he merit?

The difference between Nachor's family and Yitzchak is this: Yes, there is only one Yitzchak. But Avraham puts everything into this one child who holds the key to his destiny – a future, continuity. And sometimes the elements that will achieve that destiny are costly. Sometimes they come at the price of a little suffering.

On the other hand, Nachor’s family does not last. We hear about Rivkah and her brother Lavan (only because he is the father of Leah and Rachel), but nothing more about their family. It ends with the birth of his twelve sons. Yitzchak lasts, but with יסורים - difficulties.

We understand this very well in business, we have to understand it in life and in spousal relationships and in everything else. If we want something to last, to be real, we need to work hard for it.

Firstly, we need to work hard to be there for our children.

If we want to have a relationship with God, things don’t just fall into place. Need to work on it. We can not come to the synagogue one day out of the year and expect it to work. We can not make the synagogue experience a rote and meaningless one in order to have a relationship with God.

The aftereffects of the Akeidah, when we thought we'd have complete communion with God, when we thought we'd make the ultimate connection, but lost it at the last second... and then we find out someone who seems less deserving has all the things we want, and they make it look so easy! - It’s a let-down – and we don’t want to think about it.

We can have whatever "kids" we want. But if we want the Akeidah to be meaningful, we have to put in the time and effort to get a Yitzchak and to furnish results.

Yom Kippur Eve and the Yom Kippur experiment

On the eve of YK, the first thing we do is annul our vows. Some versions annul past vows, but for the most part, we annul future vows.

How could we annul future vows? What kind of statement is this - “Any statement I will make in the future should be considered null and void.”

Can you imagine – you’re going to make a business deal, and you don’t even have to cross your fingers. You’re lying through your teeth because you already nullified all your vows.

Maybe the vows we refer to are vows we’ll make as far as our commitment to God is concerned. We don't want to be held accountable for promises we won't keep. So does this mean our word is useless? Our vows are meaningless? We can’t be held to a commitment?

The truth is – it’s very hard.

Every year, I try something - besides going through the motions of Yom Kippur - to try to make the day meaningful beyond the prayerbook. I like to feel as if the theater of the day, the white clothing, the tallis, the machzor, the things we say, can help life imitate the art to help us get into the real essence of the day.

We have restrictions on eating, lotions, makeup, shoes - even brushing our teeth – all to help us feel the symbolic difficulty of the day.

If Avraham had difficulty making his test work, we too should have difficulty - to help us understand.

So let us try an experiment this Yom Kippur.

If the first thing we talk about on YK, the first thing we express to God, is concern over things we’ve said and things we will say, then let us start off the new year, the new us, with being extremely careful about the things we say.

The day time is pretty easy: it is pretty easy for me not to talk to people when I haven’t brushed my teeth. I imagine some people feel the same way.

Let us try, over the next 24 hours, to speak as little as possible. Obviously if you haveto put kids to bed tonight and deal with them in the morning it will be a little harder, and all bets are off. But certainly in the walk to shul and once in shul, let us make these hours count as best as they can.

Let us limit ourselves to a minimal amount of idle chatter. When you’re bored, read the English in your machzor, or the commentary.

With a focused effort, we can take ourselves beyond the motions to bring YK a step above what it will be without the effort.

And if it is difficult, remember that like we learned about Avraham – only things which are difficult last. If it comes easy, it’s usually not worth all that much.

Why We Read the "Arayot" on Yom Kippur

Why do we read about the arayot, forbidden relations, at mincha on Yom Kippur (Vayikra 18)?

With all the hype over being like angels, and all the hysteria driven teshuva we’ve worked at since Rosh Hashana, one would think the farthest thing from our minds is any desire for incestuous relations, or any other crossing-very-strong-borders intimacy.

Or HaChaim says this is precisely why we read this section on the holiest day of our calendar, because of all the human frailties and desires we have, the attraction of the opposite gender is so strong it is the most difficult to overcome.

As repulsive as the idea of some of the forbidden relations may be to some of us (for example, a man with his mother, step-mother, aunt, grand-daughter) Or HaChaim nevertheless points out a weakness, a human frailty, that sometimes people are attracted and drawn to the people closest to them. Most of us automatically reject such impulses, while some may have to work very hard to overcome them.

Very well. What does this have to do with Yom Kippur? On Yom Kippur I am devoted to one overarching theme: my teshuva, my tefillah, and my promise to be a better Jew.

So what gives? Why on our holiest day do we read these laws?

Commentaries devote much attention to the underlying theme of this segment of the Torah. Is it all to be taken literally? How many prohibited relations are implied from the text, beyond those explicitly spelled out?

Perhaps there are three points where we can focus our attention to understand the significance to applying this reading to this specially holy day.

Firstly, the last two prohibited relations refer to homosexulaity and bestiality (18:22-23). While the treatment of individuals who practice such is a hot-topic these days (see my father's contribution to that discussion here), the Torah clearly forbids such behavior in the strongest terms.

Secondly, the two forbidden relationships prior to these do not deal with internal family members. They refer to the forbidden relations of a man with any woman during her state of niddah/menstruation (and a woman with any man while she is a niddah), and the prohibition against having an adulterous affair with one’s neighbor’s wife. (18:19-20)

There are rules we are meant to follow. [Here is a nice overview to the laws of sexuality in general] While the desire a man has for his aunt may be a non-issue, there are elements of our society in which we develop a familiarity with our friends’ spouses that go beyond a general cordiality. While it may seem harmless enough, it can be entirely inappropriate. It is important to be friend-LY and to treat all humans with respect, but the degree to which we take such friendliness can be the source of problems. As much as we think some “acceptable” social etiquettes are harmless, one never knows what a single crossed boundary can lead to. [I won't post links here, but it is frightening what you can find when you google "slept with best friend's wife."]

The laws of niddah as practiced between spouses are extremely important. [See here, click "conduct while niddah" on the toolbar] - While the mikvehs are used regularly, thank God, the fact remains that the laws surrounding the relationship of the husband and wife during the niddah time are among the few we face regularly that carry a punishment of karet, excision from the Jewish people, along with them if not followed.

The last point is the final message of Vayikra chapter 18. All of these prohibitions are to be avoided because they smack of the behavior of the people of ancient Egypt and Canaan.

In other words, where the pervading elements of “culture” say sexuality, the most base human desire, should be free, rampantly immoral, no holds barred, everything goes, this model serves only one purpose: to destroy everything an upstanding culture can stand for. When even government leaders (other than financial corruption, I think sex-scandals are the top items that ruin political careers (unless your name is Bill Clinton)) and every "role model" (such as sports figures and celebrities) are involved in sex scandals, we see how “advanced” our culture is. We can accomplish whatever we want. But adults still can not control the most basic human desire – overcoming the desire for such prowess is undeniably a very big challenge.

On Yom Kippur, when we do feel our holiest, we are compared to angels. But at our core, we are still humans and we need to be reminded that Yom Kippur is already in its waning hours. Mincha time is our last hurrah before we are swept into the power of Ne’ilah. We need to be reminded that our most basic desires, be they repulsive or repressed, can be dangerous.

We need to know there are very important rules that govern how we live. We need to know we are meant to be a model of a higher order, that we are supposed to march to the beat of our own drum. We do not have to accept social norms, just because society thinks they are normal.

This relates to how we dress all the time, how we relate to our friends and their spouses.

The reading specifically focuses on the immoral relations because they are presumed, as Or HaChaim says, to be the hardest to overcome. Hopefully, if we can take the lesson of God’s last “Hurrah” to us through the Torah portion we read on Yom Kippur afternoon, we will merit to overcome all desires, difficult and easy, so we can come to next Yom Kippur with a confidence that we have a much cleaner slate than the one we enter Yom Kippur with today.

Lashon Hara - the easiest of sins - a Haazinu thought

This week's contribution to the Jewish Star - complete with a Yom Kippur wish for all.

Unblinking, heaven and earth bear witness

Parshat Ha’azinu

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Issue of September 25, 2009/ 7 Tishrei 5770

There are a number of verses in Tanach that call upon the heavens and the earth to bear witness, or to at least lend an ear to the proceedings. In the Torah, they are all in Devarim: 4:26, 30:19, 31:28 and 32:1 — the last one is the first verse in Ha’azinu.

In Navi, the most famous example (because it is the second verse of the haftarah of Shabbos Chazon) is in Yeshayahu 1:2.

Commentaries discuss why the heavens and earth are appointed witnesses. They last forever (Rashi); they can give reward or mete out punishment (also Rashi); they include the angels and all of humanity (Ibn Ezra); Moshe was close to the heavens at that point in his life (Rabeinu Bachaya); The heavens house all souls and earth houses physical bodies (Sha”kh).

In anticipation of Yom Kippur, many of us look back on the previous year and reflect. We may have had a good year — births, bar or bat mitzvah, a wedding. Maybe your child graduated, you graduated, or someone began a new chapter in life, in a new job, profession, or vocation.

Some of us may have had a difficult year — financial setbacks, unemployment, a death in the family, disappointment in schooling, a breakup of an intense relationship.

I have never been a fan of finger pointing. In the sociological history of Judaism, different generations have tried to blame the ills of their times on certain behaviors of the Jewish community.

Perhaps most famously, the destructions of the two great Temples in Jerusalem were blamed, respectively, on murder, idolatry and promiscuity (Temple I) and on baseless hatred (Temple II). As these reasons come from the prophets and the rabbis of the Talmud, who contained a different gestalt of G-d than exists today, we can accept these as truth.

But when modern ills are blamed on certain misdeeds, it takes a certain faith in those making such proclamations to accept their postulations as truth.

So instead of blaming bad tidings on talking during davening or mixed dancing at weddings or co-ed pizza stores, let us just say good things sometimes happen and bad things sometimes happen.

And yet, there is one thing we all do that is so hard to overcome. So difficult that I feel if we were to improve in this area, the merits in our favor could only stem the tide for the good.

Close to half of the “Al Chets” we recite in Viduy on Yom Kippur relate to this one overarching theme of bad behavior. Yes, there are admissions we make to bad business ethics and to not being careful regarding the food we put in our mouths. But the major theme that repeats itself over and over is similar lack of care regarding what comes out of our mouths, also known as lashon hara.

As clichéd as it sounds, it is the truth.

Perhaps this is why we call upon the heavens and earth to bear witness. Of all witnesses in the world, the heavens and earth see what they see, observe what they observe, but they do not have the power of speech. They cannot speak ill of the things we say or do. They can merely bear witness and act accordingly, as per the whim of the Creator of the World.

Furthermore, the first verse of our parsha reads: “Listen heaven! I will speak! Earth! Hear the words of my mouth!” (Devarim 32:1)

When we specifically call upon heaven and earth to hear the “words of my mouth” as they bear witness, would it not behoove us to be certain that the “words of our mouths” are worthy of being heard by witnesses who last forever and who will never forget the things we’ve said?

It is extremely hard to check ourselves and to consider everything we say all the time, before we say it. So let us start small. Would we want what we say to be repeated? Would we say it in front of the person about whom we are speaking? Is our conversation serving a purpose beyond idle chatter?

When the answer is “no,” it is better not to say it. Remember, the heavens and the earth are bearing witness.

An Inspiring Tale of the Ten Days

One component of my job has placed me as a visiting rabbi to the Anshe Chesed Synagogue in Boynton Beach. I served as rabbi there on Rosh Hashana, will return this shabbos and for Yom Kippur and will be there periodically throughout the year.

The president of the synagogue gave my name to an individual who works with some of the residents at Heritage Park - Liberty Inn, and I was invited to present a pre Yom Kippur service as part of the scheduled activities for the Jewish residents.

It is truly an inspiration to meet people who have lived extraordinary lives. A couple of the women there were over 100 years old.

One woman, who is 111 or 112, is described by her fellow residents in this way - "111. And she's got all her marbles." I am not sure if she heard everything I said though. After I described the shofar as a ram's horn, I sounded the shofar, and then I saw her perk up (she had been visibly attentive throughout), and then she said, "That's a ram's horn." As in, "I recognize that sound and you probably didn't mention this until now, but what you're doing is making sounds out of a ram's horn."

I spoke to her afterwards. Can you imagine? She was born in the 1800s!

Stories, Songs, and Significance

While in some contexts my singing is OK, I did not want to risk torturing people, so I brought in different recordings: a traditional cantorial rendition of Kol Nidrei (it wasn't Yossele Rosenblatt or Al Jolson, though people asked), "K'vakoras" of Regesh, "U'vashofar Gadol" of Lev V'Nefesh II, a cantorial interpretation of "V'yeda Kol Pa'ul" as performed by Chazzan Moshe (Oscar) Berry, and Shlomo Carlebach's "V'yeetayu kol" which has been adapted by many to the words "L'shana Haba'ah Berushalayim" (originally by Rabbi Baruch Chait, for those interested in a little Jewish Music history)

In between these songs I told a couple of stories: This one from chabad dot org, the boy who whistled, and I introduced Carlebach's song telling his story of meeting soldiers who were injured in the Yom Kippur war. "They lost eyes, limbs, etc... And I swear to you they saw what nobody saw before, and they felt what nobody will ever feel again..."

A Feeling and a Mood

Music is tremendously powerful. Slow horns, slow singing, slow slow slow, tempo and melody. It changes the atmosphere. It can cause people to sit up at attention and to feel the moment.

And stories can touch the soul as well. The Cantonist minyan (first story from chabad dot org above) and the one about the soldiers relate to people in a nursing facility, because they speak of individuals who have scars (physical and /or metaphorical) of the things they've experienced in their lives. They've been through a battle and they've emerged with their faith intact.

Senior citizens in residence facilities have had their share of battles, and it is these they can place before God on Yom Kippur, saying "Look what I've been through. And I ask, for Your sake, as I will continue to believe in You, that You please grant the things I wish for - a healthy and sweet new year."

The shofar also stirred up memories of places in distant pasts. Some had not had the opportunity to hear it this year until that point.

We Can Do This

Like many people, I say more than I do. But it is tremendously humbling and gratifying to go into a place such as this, share with the elderly and infirm, knowing that what I bring is appreciated and meaningful and brings a positive spin on a day.

There are good days and bad days in our lives and in residence homes. A little entertainment and education goes a long way.

We can all appreciate that.

And for those who have the time and something to share (you can even read a story to people), volunteering an hour of your time to give joy to others is an experience you won't regret.

And you won't forget.

Rosh Hashana (belated)

My article on Rosh Hashana appeared in the Jewish Star this past week.

It is repeated below for your convenience.

The Shofar’s blast: an abrupt, tragic realization

By Rabbi Avi Billet

September 18, 2009/ 29 Elul 5769

Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik recounted a personal episode that took place shortly after his wife passed away.

As the rain and wind blew through the window of his room, half-awake, Rabbi Soloveitchik jumped to close the window. He thought his wife was sleeping downstairs; the window had been left open, and were it to remain open, in her weakened condition she might catch pneumonia.

He ran downstairs, rushed into the room and shut the window. Turning around to see whether she had awoken, “I found the room empty, the couch where she slept neatly covered.”

His wife had passed away the previous month.

“The most tragic and frightening experience was the shock that I encountered in that half second when I turned from the window to find the room empty. I was certain that a few hours earlier I had been speaking with her, and that at about 10 o’clock she had said good night and retired to her room. I could not understand why the room was empty,” Rabbi Soloveitchik wrote.

The shofar on Rosh Hashana is meant to be a wake up call. It is meant to remind us of where we were last year, what we’ve done since then, where we are today, and of our renewed commitments for the coming year.

According to Rabbi Soloveitchik “the required response to the shofar is the abrupt, tragic realization that the false assumptions upon which we built our lives have come crashing before our eyes.”

The wakeup call is meant to say, “Jew! How far have you strayed from your connection with God? How have you allowed all the material and trivial pursuits to consume your existence?”

We do not know how to express remorse or regret over our inadequacies. Even the chazzan who leads the service cannot find the right words; they are given to him in the form of the “Hi’n’ni” prayer, through which he describes himself as a pauper of deeds who is unworthy of representing the congregation. (It’s nice to say it along with him – he’s not the only one pretending to be something he is not.)

Rabbi Soloveitchik asks, why does the story of the pagan mother of the general Sisera crying over her son who has not returned from the battlefield form the basis for our hearing 100 blasts from the shofar on Rosh Hashana (based on Tosafot in Rosh Hashana 33b)?

He answers that the shofar must cause us to experience a similar emotion. “We must witness our own illusions being relentlessly shattered,” Rabbi Soloveitchik explained.

The Jerusalem Talmud Rosh Hashana (Chapter 1, page 57 Halakha 3) describes the reason for a custom to wear white on Rosh Hashana: a confidence that we have coming into the court room of the Almighty.

Whether one actually wears white or actually has such confidence, the fact of the matter is that Rosh Hashana is such a serious day, that even though we remind ourselves it is the Judgment Day (Yom HaDin), and the Day of Remembrance (Yom HaZikaron), we need the shofar to wake us up regardless because in our human imperfection, we still don’t “get it.”

New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Commitments to change don’t usually last more than 10 minutes past Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur.

Yet we come back every year to hear the shofar, hoping we will finally be moved and inspired to move on to the next stage of our lives and Jewish experiences.

Let us try an experiment this year. We only have one chance because the shofar will only be sounded on Sunday.

Let us experience the shofar like we never have before. Instead of thinking about how good the shofar blower is (or is not), let us be grateful that he can get 100 blasts out of the shofar.

And now we can focus on how the sound of the shofar is meant to remind us of our own inadequacies

When we hear the shofar, let us think for a moment about how it shatters our dreams. Let us think for a moment, that as wonderful as we are, we could be better. Let us think for a moment, that as much as we do, we could be doing more. Let us think for a moment, that even the greatest confidence can benefit from a little bit of healthy “what if”-ing.

The shofar is there to remind us. Hopefully we will hear and heed the call.

It's not always about money

For some people, the words of Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 10:19 are a Godsend.

וְהַכֶּסֶף יַעֲנֶה אֶת הַכֹּל - Money is the answer for everything.

Money, or the pursuit of money is the answer for everything. In other words, it justifies all kinds of behavior, because hey, you gotta make a profit. You gotta live.

So here is a refreshing piece of news out of Israel.

You may have heard of the tragic death of the son of Ilan Ramon. Ilan Ramon was the first Israeli astronaut who died when the shuttle Columbia exploded on re-entry to earth back in February 2003.

Quick aside - an example of money being the excuse for anything - this quote is from wikipedia's description of the post-disaster search effort.

"Some Texas residents recovered some of the debris, ignoring the warnings,and attempted to sell it on the online auction site eBay, starting at $10,000. The auction was quickly removed, but auctions for Columbia merchandise such as programs, photographs and patches, went up dramatically in value immediately following the disaster, creating a surge of Columbia-related listings."

Back to our point. Assaf Ramon's plane crashed in what is currently being deemed an accident. Some yeshiva students nearby apparently heard the crash and went to photograph and video the crash sight. When they heard the pilot had not ejected and that he had died, this is what followed: [The article is reproduced in full, just in case the link is cancelled one day.]

Yeshiva Boys Cede Profits on Ramon Crash Footage

by Hillel Fendel

(IsraelNN.com) Yeshiva boys near the crash-site of Assaf Ramon, son of fallen astronaut Ilan Ramon, photographed his plane burning and the arrival of rescue teams – but then refused to sell the exclusive photos so as not to desecrate the dead or offend the family.

The students study in the yeshiva high school in Maaleh Hever, a small community in southern Judea. When they heard the explosion of the plane, only about 1.2 kilometers away, they ran out to see what had happened, taking cameras with them. They filmed the plane burning, the arrival of the emergency crews, and the hubbub around the incident.

Somehow, word of the pictures got out, and more than one news agency contacted the boys and offered to pay thousands of shekels for the exclusive footage. When the boys realized that an Air Force pilot had been killed, they consulted with their Rosh Yeshiva (rabbinical dean), Rabbi Amichai Chazan. He explained to them the importance of behaving ethically in such a situation.

The boys understood his message, and refused to sell. "I don't want to profit from this type of situation in which a soldier dies," said one student, Nehorai Hadad.

Instead of selling the pictures, the boys gave the photos to the army personnel investigating the crash – and dedicated their evening's Torah study in memory of Assaf ben [son of] Ilan and Rona Ramon.

Chief IDF Rabbi Avi Ronsky arrived in the yeshiva as well, and praised the boys' actions and the Sanctification of G-d's Name thereof. He spoke with them about the importance of thorough Torah study as the basis for military service excellence.

Maaleh Hever is a 15-year-old religious-Zionist yeshiva high school in which only a minimum of secular studies is offered; nearly the entire day is reserved for Torah study. At least two other similar institutions have been established in its wake, in Jerusalem and in Shaalvim.

© IsraelNN Syndications

The Lesson is Clear

There are so many opportunities we have to do things that advance our own self interests. Most of the time they are good and positive.

However, there are times when the impact on others MUST be considered first. And we must be prepared to suffer a loss, or as in this case, avoid a windfall profit whose source is less than ethically justified.

The example set by these yeshiva students is a model for all of us.

Lighting the Fire Before Rosh Hashana

There's an old joke.

New Year's is always January 1. Thanksgiving is always the last Thursday in November. But Jewish holidays are never on time. They're always "early" or "late"! (You can groan now)

Rosh Hashana will begin this Friday night, and it lends the question: What are we doing to prepare?

Selichot and Shofar

Those of us of Sephardic (Spain, North Africa and Middle Eastern) descent have been saying Selichot since the 1st of the month of Elul. Those of us of Ashkenazic descent began the same this past Saturday night.

All of us have been sounding and hearing the shofar on a daily basis for the last three and a half weeks.

What's Next?

One who truly believes that Rosh Hashana is a Day of Judgment has a lot to be concerned about. Does anyone really think he or she is perfect?

One of my favorite stories concerns a member of a certain synagogue (to remain nameless to protect the innocent) - and Yes this is a TRUE story - who approached the rabbi with a particular concern he had. You see, he was one of the few who was to serve as the chazzan/ ba'al tefillah (leader of the services) on Rosh Hashana, as the synagogue had multiple services and no offical cantor.

He told the rabbi, "I have a real problem saying the "Chazzan's Prayer" before Mussaf, in which it says הנְנִי הֶעָנִי מִמַּעַשֹ נִרְעַשׁ וְנִפְחַד מִפַּחַד יוֹשֵׁב תְּהִלּוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, בָּאתִי לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶיךָ עַל עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר שְׁלָחוּנִי. וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי כְדַאי וְהָגוּן לְכַךְ.
["Here I am, impoverished of deeds, trembling and frightened from the dread of Him Who is enthroned upon the praises of Israel, I have come to stand and supplicate before You for Your people Israel who have sent me, although I am unworthy and unqualified to do so."]

"Rabbi, I am not a pauper of deeds - I do so much. And I am not unworthy and unqualified. I've studied the prayers and know all the right tunes. I have a real problem saying those words."

"Then I have a real problem with your leading the services," answered the rabbi.

Brilliance of the text

Most people readily admit there is much to improve in themselves. This writer included. Alas, most New Year's resolutions do not last for a very long time. We are the way we are, and continue to be the way we are because it is very difficult to change.

So at least the prayer book gives the chazzan the words to say to express the reality of his existence, that he, like the rest of us, is an imperfect human being. And though he, like the rest of us, is unworthy to serve as the defense, together we're going to make a dern good try of it.

A Possible Approach

While these next few days are not yet Rosh Hashana, maybe we can begin our process of getting ourselves into the mindset a little earlier.

I have an uncle who has always - referring to his weight - been a self-proclaimed yo-yo. We'd see him at one family gathering, and he'd be 30 pounds overweight. He'd go on a diet and by the next gathering he'd be thin as a rail. Next time, overweight again. Up and down, like a yo-yo.

He once said, "There's nothing like a doctor who can give you a good dose of 'yiras shamayim' (fear of heaven - a.k.a. reverence for God). Seriously, when a guy tells you 'If you want to live to see your grandchildren you have to lose 40 pounds (and keep it off), get some exercise and stop some of your really bad habits' you learn to listen very quickly."

Amazingly, he's kept it off and has been an average size since then.

I don't know if it's really יראת שמים (fear of heaven), or fear of death, or fear of not seeing grandchildren. (He now has a couple of grandchildren, and I hope he enjoys the nachas they give him for a long time.) But something lit a fire under him, and he changed!

So here it is: instead of making a resolution to change (which won't work), we need to light a fire under ourselves to inspire us to want to change.

Recession-Proof

The economy has put a lot of people in a position that they are rethinking priorities. Some are out of work. Some are looking for jobs. Some are lost and need direction.

These challenges are all opportunities. Whether the fire lit under us be our children, our grandchildren, or just the drive to want to live a fulfilling life, many of us will embrace it and hit it head on.

My offer to you - To Light the Fire

My market is not HR. Sad to say, I don't do hiring.

But I learn Torah with people. I have a car, and I have a flexible schedule. I can come to your place, your turf, on your time, and open your eyes to new texts and new areas of Torah study you may have never seen before, never enjoyed before, or never saw from a perspective that makes sense to you.

We'll challenge protocol together and look for answers until we're either satisfied, or really really disturbed and challenged by the things we've found.

It's not a resolution which won't work. It's lighting a fire for which someone else (in this case, I) will stoke the coals for you. You just need to want the fire to stay lit.

So send an email - avi.billet@yu.edu - or pick up the phone and call our Boca office at 561 852 3152

September 11

September 11 2001 was the 23 of Elul 5761.

Today is September 11 and tonight, Friday night, is the 23rd of Elul. The dates overlap.

I find it in incredible that the yahrzeit of September 11 (I knew one person that died personally - Mark Rosenberg - he was my high school dorm counselor) falls on the Shabbos that we read of the choice we have to pick life and good or death and bad.

On September 11, we remember those for whom the choice was made by others, to give them Eternal Life in the world to come.

The perpetrators were (and those like them are) the embodiment of pure evil in this world.

God tells us to Choose Life! We do choose life. Good life is defined by the way we treat and respect others and the things we do to promote peace and harmony on this earth.

Terrorists may think they are getting Eternal Life. But their way, obviously, is not a Jewish way.

May they and their ilk perish from the earth, as they continue to live a dead existence, with their own awful choice of death and destruction.

And for the victims of that day - Y'hi zikhram barukh. And may destroyers of peace have no more power to perpetrate their evil.

The Choices We Make

My article on this week's parsha can be found here

Or, you can read it here.

Parsha Nitzavim-Vayelech: Life and Good vs. Death and Bad

By Rabbi Avi Billet

Issue of September 11, 2009 / 22 Elul 5769

In the context of thoughts on why “Tisha B’Av precedes Va’etchanan,” I raised the halakhic discussion point that Nitzavim is always read before Rosh Hashana (Shulchan Arukh 428). The Pri Megadim (in Eshel Avraham) points to the comments of the L’vush, who gives two reasons why Nitzavim precedes Rosh Hashana.

The first is more obvious. When one takes a cursory glance at Devarim chapter 30, the root word “shav” — return — appears seven times. This chapter (and the parsha in general), says the L’vush, raises important issues of “teshuvah,” or repentance. It is a perfect prelude to the Day of Judgment.

The second reason looks at some of the other parashot that appear in the list of the Shulchan Arukh, notably the rule regarding Tisha B’Av and “Bamidbar precedes Shavuos.” Devarim is read before Tisha B’Av because it includes Moshe rebuking the people, setting the stage for the gloomy nature of 9 Av. Bamidbar serves as a buffer between the tokhacha of Bechukotai and the holiday of Shavuos. Similarly, Nitzavim serves as a break between the tokhacha of Ki Tavo and Rosh Hashana.

Both Ki Tavo and Nitzavim have elements of rebuke. One might suggest Ki Tavo should specifically precede Rosh Hashana, to keep us in the right mood for the Day of Judgment. But the L’vush says Nitzavim is the parsha of choice for this week, because though it contains rebuke that we need, it does not contain curses, which are the last things we need leading into Rosh Hashana.

Compare Devarim 11:26 — “See that I am placing before you both a blessing and a curse” — to Devarim 30:15 — “See! Today I have set before you [a choice] of life and good, versus death and bad.”

In both cases, the Torah states that the way to receive the preferred first option is through observance of the Law, while the second one will come about through a conscious choice not to listen to the word of G-d. In our parsha, the “curse” option is removed, and is replaced with “death and bad.”

Wouldn’t “death and bad” be the ultimate curse? Before we consider the everlasting bliss the soul experiences in the world to come, “death and bad” represent the end of the human experience that we all cherish. Not using the word “k’lalah” (curse) does not count for avoiding curses in Nitzavim if the option given is, in essence, a curse.

In Devarim 30:19, the Torah seems to indicate that the choices it gave us in 30:15 were indeed a blessing and a curse, but it tells us to choose life. The Dubno Maggid asks, “Why does it not say to choose ‘life and good’ as had been originally suggested?” He answers that people may not necessarily know what will be good for them, so they are better off just choosing a generic “good life” than specific things they think will be good. Put faith in G-d that He will give you things that are good for you.

If we are now choosing life because G-d tells us to, and if the curse “option” isn’t really an option anyway, why was it on the table to begin with? Would anyone who values life consciously choose “death and bad” when “life and good” are equally available?

The Akeidat Yitzchak suggests that the verse refers not to a curse brought on as a punishment of G-d, but to a death brought about due to a person’s life choices. Some people choose to live life to the fullest and make the Torah and mitzvot central to their existence, and some people choose to live such that, “even when they are alive, they are dead.”

Is it a curse to live a life devoid of G-d, spirituality, and the pursuit of deeper fulfillment? Is it a curse to look to billboards, movie stars and athletes for role models as opposed to your parents, your neighbors, teachers, and rabbis? Is it a curse to view summers and vacation days as times to get away from Torah study and shul commitments?

Some may look forward to these possibilities and may or may not be joking when they say, “All of those things are a blessing! Ha ha!”

Nitzavim is read before Rosh Hashana to remind us that the choice we are making is not just to ask G-d to allow us to survive until next Rosh Hashana. We are actively choosing to live a holy existence, in which we are committed not just to achieving “life and good” but to avoiding the stagnation that comes with choosing a life that is spiritually dead.

In this light, “death and bad” might not be a curse or punishment from G-d. But as a choice of how to live, it holds no redeeming qualities.

Two approaches to the curses of Devarim 27

Hmmmmm.

It turns out that my chart doesn't transfer very well into a blog. And since I don't know how to make it look the way I wanted it to look, I present the material in a format that is easy to understand, even if it isn't as fun as it should be through the chart.

Each "curse" will begin with text of the curse/warning, and will be followed by the comment of the Maskil L'David, followed by that of Abravanel.

1 - 'Cursed is the person who makes a sculptured or cast idol, which is repulsive to God your Lord even if it is a piece of fine sculpture, and places it in a hidden place.' All the people shall respond and say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Refers to Levi – since they did not err with the Golden Calf. The hope is they will continue to uphold this tradition and never submit to idolatry.

Abravanel - Refers to the tribe of Shimon who were the main group responsible for the sin of Baal Peor (the Pinchas story). Thousands died on their account, most (most likely) from their tribe

2 - 'Cursed is he who shows disrespect for his father and mother.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Refers to Yehuda, who disrespected his father when he said “הכר נא” and was forced to embarrass himself when the same words were used to force him to admit his wrongdoing with Tamar.

Abravanel - Refers to Levi (who is eternally grouped with Shimon, above) who did not consider the repercussions to his father’s reputation when he, along with Shimon, wiped out the city of Sh’chem.

3 - 'Cursed is he who moves his neighbor's boundary marker.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Encroachment refers to Yissachar, who went ahead with his korban in a way others did not in the chapter of the offerings of the princes (Bamidbar 7).

Abravanel - Refers to the tribe of Gad (based on Devarim 33:20), who jumped the gun to inherit their tribe’s land, by asking for their inheritance on the east of the Jordan River.

4 - 'Cursed is he who misdirects the blind on the way.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Giving false advice refers to Yosef, who had the opportunity to give false advice to Paroh. He did not have to say there would be seven years of famine after the plenty. But he did – so we curse those who would not follow that path.

Abravanel - Refers to Yissachar, the ones who set up courts and yeshivas all over the land (based on Bamidbar rabba 13). Does not refer to the actual blind, but those who are blind about a subject – Yissachar had the opportunity, as the scholars, to guide people incorrectly.

5 - 'Cursed is he who perverts justice for the foreigner, orphan and widow.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Perverting justice for the foreigner refers to Binyamin who gave the city of Jericho to the children of Yitro, and thus did not pervert justice.

Abravanel - Refers to Yehuda, the tribe of the kingship, to remind him not to pervert justice, in particular to the poor souls mentioned here.

6 - 'Cursed is he who lies with his father's wife, thus violating his father's privacy.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David and Abravanel agree - Sleeps with his father’s wife refers to Reuven – as mentioned before this box chart – Bereshit 35:22

7 - 'Cursed is he who lies with any animal.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Sleeping with an animal refers to Gad who would have been most warned about Y’fat To’ar (Devarim 21:10-14). Since sleeping with a gentile woman is prohibited just as is sleeping with an animal, they who were on the front lines were given this personal directive.

Abravanel - Refers to Dan, whose representative judge, Samson, married a non-Jewish woman. (Not that a non-Jewish woman is an animal, but that the prohibition is the same for a Jew. See ML’D to the left)

8 - 'Cursed is he who lies with his sister, whether she is the daughter of his father or of his mother.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Sleeping with one’s sister refers to Asher, whose women were known not to have hymenal blood. As such the brothers did not need to be careful to preserve their sisters’ virginity as they were not expected to have hymenal blood from their “first” union in either case.

Abravanel - Refers to Naftali, based on Bereshit 49:21 (“delivers words of beauty”). Since he is more apt to be around his sister

9 - 'Cursed is he who lies with his mother-in-law.' (חותנתו) All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Sleeping with one’s mother in law refers to Zevulun who is on the road more. Moshe says “Zevulun rejoices when he goes out” because it gives him an opportunity to have an affair away from his wife..

Abravanel - Defines the word חותנתו to mean “with his fiancé.” Now it refers to Binyamin, the tribe responsible for the Pilegesh B’Givah story (concubine in Gibah), which rounds out the last few chapters of the Book of Judges (שופטים).

10 - 'Cursed is he who strikes down his neighbor in secret.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Hitting one’s friend in secret is done through Lashon Hara (slander) and therefore refers to Dan, who would bring bad tales of his brothers to Yosef, who reported them to their father.

Abravanel - Refers to Hoshea ben Eilah, a king from the tribe of Zevulun, who killed Pekach ben Re’malyahu in order to succeed his throne.

11 - 'Cursed is he who takes a bribe to put an innocent man to death.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - Taking bribes to kill someone is Naftali who avoided such a task when Yehuda told him to run around Egypt to see how many marketplaces they would have to wipe out to defeat Yosef, the Viceroy of Egypt.

Abravanel - Refers to Pekach ben Re’malyahu who was from Asher, who took bribes from R’tzin king of Aram, to come up to Jerusalem and to destroy it.

12 - 'Cursed is he who does not uphold and keep this entire Torah.' All the people shall say, 'Amen.'

Maskil L’David - [As he comments on Rashi’s words, it follows that this is a general statement. Shimon, as per Rashi, is left out of this list.]

Abravanel - Refers to Yosef, whose descendant was Y'ravam ben Nevat, who sinned and caused others to sin.

******************************************************************

Be a little creative. Make up your own list or chart and see if you can come up with your own parallels of the warnings mentioned in Devarim 27 and parallel them to the individual tribes or their descendants.

Warnings, Curses and Different Tribes

Warnings - Not Curses

The parsha shiur of this past week focused on the curses that appear at the end of Devarim Chapter 27. Calling them “curses” is not entirely fair: they’re more like warnings of behaviors to avoid, as the one who violates is ארור – cursed.

The Number 12

When I first read through them, I saw Rashbam who mentioned there are 12 curses, corresponding to the 12 tribes. Then I saw Rashi, who says there are actually eleven (he considers the last one a general conclusion), corresponding to all the tribes except for Shimon.

At first deliberation my thought was, “The number 12 was chosen because it is a nice round number – just like the tribes.” Then I thought, “Perhaps each curse corresponds specifically to a tribe who was guilty of doing this exact act.”

Free Associations

The one corresponding to Reuven (do not lay with your father’s wife) was obvious from the Bilhah story – Bereshit 35:22: “While Jacob was living undisturbed in the area, Reuben went and disturbed the sleeping arrangements of Bilhah, his father's concubine. Jacob heard about it…Jacob had twelve sons.”

I thought the warning about sleeping with one’s sister would refer to Shimon, as per the midrash that he married Dinah.

בראשית רבה פ:יא - א"ר הונא אמרה ואני אנה הוליך את חרפתי עד שנשבע לה שמעון שהוא נוטלה, הה"ד ושאול בן הכנענית

In the end I found the comments of the Maskil L’David (see two snippets of his biography here and here) and the Abravanel (bio here and here), who delineated to whom the warnings refer. They have the advantage of 20-20 hindsight on Biblical history, and they interestingly take the liberty of either accusing a tribe of being guilty of the crime suggested, or using historical evidence to prove they could have been in violation of one of these sins, but chose not to. In this latter case, the hope is their tribesmen will continue following their model and will avoid losing the character trait that was so wonderfully embodied by their ancestor.

Without further ado, the hit parade with explanations for how they arrived at their conclusions.

(Click on the image to see the explanations in a readable size)
[If the image does not work, click here to see it spelled out]

Alternatively, you can try to make your own list.

This exercise is fascinating because anyone can be right. It’s all a matter of how you want to match things up, and how much knowledge you have to support the ideas you may bring to the table.

Final Lesson

The nit picking leaves us open to thinking that somehow, the things we do matter. We can find the smallest flaws or the smallest credits (or the greatest flaws and the greatest credits) from actions that seem to be completely unrelated to the specifics of our behavior we draw out of our deeds.

Ki Tavo - my article in the Jewish Star

Please click here if you'd like to see it on the Jewish Star website. Otherwise, it is reproduced here:

Parsha Ki Tavo: Hitting in secret
September 4, 2009

By Rabbi Avi Billet

The imaginative among us will conjure up a scene of the curse that appears in 27:14: “‘Cursed is he who strikes down his neighbor in secret.’ All the people shall say, ‘Amen.’”

Picture a holding cell, with a blindfolded prisoner tied to a chair. An assailant comes, hits the trussed up victim, and leaves him there to wallow in his pain.

Or perhaps, we can imagine a dark alley, where a criminal blindsides his intended victim, whether to rob him or for some other reason (or for lack of reason).

In either instance, the attacker is cursed. Give a person a chance to fight, a chance to defend himself. Or, better yet, leave him alone.

Rashi, who is a little more homiletical in his interpretations, says this “striking down in secret” refers to the sin of Lashon Hara. When your friend is not near you, the things you say which have a damaging impact, even when said in private with only one other person, can have repercussions we can not anticipate. “So-and-so is not such a good doctor.” “I once had a bad experience with so and so, so that means the person is always bad and worth avoiding.” “Did you hear that she is getting divorced? It’s true!”

All of these comments lead to more speculation and unnecessary negative comments about others, even and especially when they’re true.

The Ktav V’Hakabalah focuses on the word “Re’ehu” — one who strikes down “his neighbor” — saying the word is specific. A person who is not your “neighbor,” or in a more exact definition of the word, your “friendly or beloved” neighbor, i.e. someone who is anti-friendly, who is abrasive and difficult, is not included in this prohibition. He quotes the Jerusalem Talmud that allows a person to speak ill of those who are confrontational, as long as your intentions are for the sake of heaven and to promote peace between other peoples.

He continues and explains that this prohibition is different than other Lashon Hara prohibitions we may have seen before, because similar commandments warn against speaking Lashon Hara in front of the object of discussion. Here the discussion is about speaking Lashon Hara in secret — which may be a warning against spreading the “avak lashon hara” — the “dust of Lashon hara.”

Examples of the dusty lashon hara include: telling a tale, as if you don’t know whom the tale is about (even though it is obvious, and everyone else knows); saying “Don’t talk about Jeff. I don’t want to know what happened with him”; saying nice things about Fred in front of someone who hates Fred will only cause the ‘enemy’ to say bad things about Fred; telling a parent something bad about his or her child “just so you should be aware” makes them feel doubly horrible.

It is also possible that our original images and the interpretations introduced by Rashi and expanded by the Ktav V’Hakabalah can be combined to give us a new approach.

We can have wonderful things to say about others, and we can make every effort to never violate someone else’s body using physical violence. But what about the things we do in our innermost hearts? What about when we think evil thoughts, or pray that evil things happen to someone else? What about when we take measures — without using any lashon hara — to cause a competitor’s business to fail? There are ways to hit people secretly which are underhanded, dirty and downright cruel.

What about when we keep secrets from our spouses, the kind that would be extremely hurtful were they to be out in the open?

There are secrets that exist between two people, and there are secrets which a person holds deep within his or her own heart. The former will most likely not remain a secret, and the latter does nothing to advance good relationships between people, and to promote peace in our lives and our communities.

When the Torah talks about secretive sins, sometimes the secret is between us and God.

Avoidance of this curse is realized when there are no secret feelings, and no secret intentions to harm anyone else.

Justice Justice You Shall Pursue (Deut. 16:20)

A related essay on this subject can be found here

Measure for Measure

There is justice, and there is "justice." The Torah (usually) advocates that justice take the form of "middah k'neged middah" (מדה כנגד מדה) a.k.a. "measure for measure." While Rabbinic law has explained that "an eye for an eye" (Exodus 21:24, Leviticus 24:20) refers to monetary payments, such punishment is a payment for the monetary value of the lost organ or limb. How the value is determined is a subject of a different discussion.

The Torah unequivocally has a capital punishment system embedded in its laws. When, how and how often it was evoked is also a subject of a different discussion. The Talmud describes that in the event a murderer subverts the system through a technicality such that the court could not execute him, they had other methods to ensure his inevitable demise.

There was no such thing as 'death row' or a long-term prison sentence for murderers. Accidental murderers went (of their own accord) to cities of refuge to avoid retribution from relatives of the deceased. In some cases their exile may last for the rest of their lives. [See the footnote below for an example of an accidental murder and a situation that would warrant this exile.]

Punishment was meted out immediately, whether it be a fine, restitution, lashes, or the death penalty. And none of the death penalty punishments were costly - court orders were not a burden on society.

The Modern World

While I do believe in the death penalty for murderers, I understand that not everyone agrees to this. But I also believe that a person who takes a life in any way other than defense (of self or of another), in battle, or through a pure accident - a pure accident might include a car accident on a slippery road, or a doctor who does everything right but loses a patient - has lost the privilege to live in society. A drunk driver, for example, might not be a "deliberate murderer," but getting behind the wheel after drinking is not a pure accident. The driver made a choice that was not beyond his/her control.

Certainly a deliberate murderer should get no mercy. Even if s/he finds religion when s/he is in prison, and even if s/he can become a contributing member of society. By Torah law, s/he should have been dead shortly after s/he was convicted, so what s/he accomplishes later in life is enough of a "freebie" for a person, to my mind, that anything beyond bread and water to continue to live out his/her life, is a gift the person does not deserve.

Pan Am 103

The Lockerbie bomber was released from prison.

[Note from 8/20/2012 - I just revisited this page and noticed that all but one of the links I had left here are now inactive. They were articles about the Lockerbie bomber being released, as one article put it "Scottish authorities released him on compassionate grounds because he is dying of cancer."]

Where was his compassion for his victims? Why is this man still alive? Eichmann wasn't given compassionate jail time. He was killed after his conviction.

Is it possible that His Murderousness was a tool for an economic deal? Nothing disgusts me more.

I hope this man rots. 270 people died, including one person I knew growing up - Joseph K. Miller - on account of this monster's actions. He is undeserving of any compassion and he ought to die in prison. He should have been executed, but that is not "compassionate enough."

I heard one talk-radio host put it this way: If Bernie Madoff (who ruined many lives and may have caused a few suicides and crimes to be committed) were to be dying of cancer, would anyone tolerate his being released from prison in order to die with his family? Obviously that wound is very fresh, but the wound of Lockerbie and Pan Am 103 is still fresh for the relatives of the victims, those who knew them, and all of us who saw a first glimpse of how our world was changing when terrorists started using or destroying planes to make their "freedom fight" known to the world.

Ecclesiastes was right when he said (10:19) - "Money is the answer for everything." In other words, the pursuit of money justifies every dishonest or dishonorable behavior perpetrated by man.

England, you should be ashamed.
**********************************************
What is an "Accidental Murder"? - two kinds

An "accidental murder" (shogeg or שוגג) is when someone does an action that is potentially dangerous to someone else, without bothering to check if someone is in harm's way. It may include a gross negligence on the part of the "perpetrator."

Examples might include:

• someone purposely running a red light and hitting a pedestrian who had the right of way
• shooting a person while hunting
• throwing rocks over a precipice, unaware someone is down below
• dropping anything from a high place where there is no designation to do so, such as at a construction site

According to the Torah (Numbers 35, see also Joshua 20 and 21), people who do this must go to exile, where they will establish residence until the High Priest passes away.
Other examples of accidental murder in which there is no culpability (o'ness or אונס) are when the person did nothing wrong or negligent and circumstances were completely beyond control. Other than the examples mentioned above, other instances of this would include:

• Driving normally on a highway, and someone jumps in front of your car from an overpass (assuming they survive the jump)
• When the victim goes into a clearly marked restricted (DANGEROUS) area, such as at a shooting range, or a high voltage facility, or underneath a roller coaster (I mention this because there was a case last last year when someone was killed doing this), and the shooter, worker or operator does what they are supposed to and don't know of their victim's presence until it is too late

As soon as it becomes clear that there was no way for the accident to be avoided, the responsible party is deemed exempt from any punishment or retribution.