Parshat Shoftim
by Rabbi Avi Billet
Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch writes on the verse “Tamim Tihyeh Im Hashem Elokekha” (“You shall be whole/complete with the Lord your God”) (18:13):
“Temimus required for the offerings, and for the offerers symbolizes the requirement of our wholehearted devotion to God – the devotion of the whole person, including all his relationships, to God. This wholeness is the direct result of our awareness of God’s unity. It is the realization of our vocation as עם סגולה, a nation belonging exclusively to God.
“Here, this wholeness is described in its concrete sense. Not even the smallest fiber of our lives shall be detached from God; we must be with God in our entirety. Consequently, all the heathen ways described in the preceding verses are banned from the Jewish sphere. God alone is the director of our fate and the guide of our actions; He alone decides our future, and His will is the sole criterion by which we are to decide what to do and what to refrain from doing… Only from God would we seek instruction regarding what we should or should not do, if God had not already given us such instruction in his Torah. Actually, one who is Tamim is so completely engrossed in God that he thinks only of the duties he must perform at the present moment, and as for his success and his whole future – he puts all his trust in God. By fulfilling his duty, he has already attained the supreme goal of his doing and not doing. He has paid God the tribute of duty faithfully fulfilled, and he is impervious to anything beyond that.”
While I removed from his comment several sentences related to not seeking divination to know the future, his point that we don’t need to know the future, but it is necessary for us to have a hand in writing our own future. It is through being attached to God, and most specifically through Godly living, which means living a life focused on Mitzvah Fulfillment and doing Chesed, imitating the ways of God, and upping our game in our own Middos – through this we have a hand in our destiny.
One need look no further than the table of contents of famous Musser works to consider where to focus our personal attention.
Chovos Halevavos - Duties of the Heart - has the following sections in its table of contents: Unity - יחוד הא-ל; Examination – בחינת הברואים – the purpose of our existence; Service of God – קבלת עבודת א-לקים; Trust – בטחון הא-להים; Devotion – מעשינו מיוחדים לשמו, and to avoid flattery; Submission חיוב כניתנו לא-להים - ; Repentance – תשובה; Examining the Soul - חשבון הנפש; Withdrawing – פרישות; Devotion to God – אהבת אלקים.
Mesilas Yesharim – the Path of the Righteous has 24 sections, some topics are divided in several chapters:
Man's Duty in the World - בבאור כלל חובת האדם בעולמו; Watchfulness – זהירות; The Trait of Zeal – זריזות; The Trait of Cleanliness נקיות – clean of sin and of bad middos; The Trait of Separation פרישות – which is the key to true piety; The Trait of Purity – מדת הטהרה – correcting one’s heart and thoughts; The Trait of Piety – חסידות; The Trait of Humility – ענוה; The Trait of Fear of Sin – יראת חטא; The Trait of Holiness – מדת הקדושה
Orchos Tzaddikim - the Ways of the Righteous - also covers many of these topics, focusing on positive and negative behavior in each middah. Pride; Modesty; Shame; Impudence; Love; On Hatred; Mercy; Cruelty; Joy; Worry; Remorse; Anger; Graciousness; Envy; Zeal; Laziness; Generosity; Miserliness; Remembering; Forgetfulness; Silence; Falsehood; Truth; Flattery; Gossip; Repentance; Torah; Fear of Heaven
There are a few simple Pesukim to look at to get an idea of what God wants
Devarim 10: 12And now, O Israel, what does the Lord, your God, ask of you? Only to fear the Lord, your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to worship the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, 13to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes, which I command you this day, for your good.
Shmuel chapter 15 – when King Shaul messed up the assignment, sparing King Agag and all the animals of Amalek, ostensibly to offer them as Korbanos, the prophet said to him, “22And Samuel said, "Has the Lord (as much) desire in burnt offerings and peace-offerings, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than a peace-offering; to hearken (is better) than the fat of rams. 23For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim. Since you rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you from being a king."
Yeshayahu chapter 1: 11Of what use are your many sacrifices to Me? says the Lord. I am sated with the burnt-offerings of rams and the fat of fattened cattle; and the blood of bulls and sheep and hegoats I do not want. 16Wash, cleanse yourselves, remove the evil of your deeds from before My eyes, cease to do evil. 17Learn to do good, seek justice, strengthen the robbed, perform justice for the orphan, plead the case of the widow.
Micha 6: 8He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord demands of you; but to do justice, to love loving-kindness, and to walk discreetly with your God.
Most of the errors in question stem from a two-part flaw, which is often classified as a sin, namely arrogance, or the lack of humility – or, to put it simply, letting one’s ego control one’s behaviors. Sometimes, even those who think of themselves as humble and not arrogant can fall prey to this challenge quite easily, if they are unaware.
I have an unpopular opinion, though it is readily sourced in plenty of halakhic works, that yarzeit observances are ALL meant to be private – lighting a candle, learning mishnayos (though it is appropriate to share one’s celebration if making a siyum, but usually the learning was a personal endeavor), reading Tehillim, fasting. Shul observances such as saying kaddish or receiving an Aliyah are blessed opportunities to say something which prompts a response from a congregation. However, davening for the amud has another more pressing concern that is not trumped because someone has a yarzeit, namely being מרוצה לקהל. And that means that the congregation wants the person to lead. [Many people (though not all) know that there are no obligations on a shul to grant kibbudim to people for yarzeits other than for parents. When possible to accommodate, it is certainly kind to do so! But the sources that touch upon these subjects only pay attention to parents’ yarzeits]
A congregation can reasonably expect that a person should know the appropriate nusach, should read Hebrew fluently, can carry a tune when singing (which is far less a criteria during the weekday), and someone who understands the needs of the community and can present them well before the Almighty. Davening is not meant to be a show or a spectacle, though some congregations surely appreciate when the Baal Tefillah can engage the tzibbur in communal tefillah (without giving a concert by “shlepping” or picking tunes no one knows).
Certainly the opposite of most of those would not fit into the category of מרוצה לקהל. Furthermore, Halakha has very harsh words for a person who tries to strongarm his way into leading the davening. The best thing is for a person to not seek the Kibud. The next best thing is to know one’s abilities. A person should know “Do I know the nusach or not?” “Can I carry a tune or not?” “Am I really off key?”
And within the congregation, individuals need to ask themselves, “Am I too loud and disturbing and distracting my neighbor?” This is Tefillah 101, which is very easy to remember because these rules are found in Shulchan Arukh Siman 101 (קא).
The best thing I’ve ever heard from anyone who had a yarzeit was “It honors my father more that I don’t lead the davening and that I don’t get insulted than if I get into a fight or get insulted over leading the davening.” The thinking that “the only way to honor the yarzeit is to insist of having the Amud” is simply wrong. It is ego-driven, and not recognizing that there is a higher calling, which is the way of humility, and seeing that תמים עם ה' א-לקיך, can be actualized when one recognizes that what we are trying to do is create the best kind of tefillah, which is not based on “your need” but on the tzibbur’s need.
A related problem is that when someone who is not מרוצה לקהל because of a skills-deficiency leads the davening, it often enough triggers people to talk about the person in some manner of Lashon Hora. Which is obviously unfortunate, but is completely avoidable if we don’t tempt the elephant in the room. In general, Lashon Hora impacts our fulfillment of Tamim Tihyeh im Hashem” as well. People say things like “I don’t like to say Lashon Hora, but…” and “I don’t like to repeat Lashon Hora (wink, wink) so I’m only going to say this once,” and “I know it’s Lashon Hora but I just need to get it off my chest.” Or we don’t even know it’s Lashon Hora because we haven’t studied the rules well enough.
Consider these hints:
• If you have to look around to see who is listening, there’s a good chance it’s Lashon Hora
• If you have to lower your voice, there’s a good chance it’s Lashon Hora
• Joseph Telushkin offers the line, “Janet is a wonderful person, but there’s just one thing I don’t like about her…” noting the direction the rest of this conversation usually goes
• If it is a comment that will elicit negative talk about another person, it is definitely Lashon Hora.
• If it is judgmental of another, without hearing or knowing the other person’s perspective, it is likely Lashon Hora.
Lashon hora comes from arrogance. From thinking I am better than that person. From thinking that person is worthy of my derision. From having a lack of empathy for another person’s struggles.
תמים תהיה עם ה' אל-קיך means to see the other person as one of God’s children, and also as our own brother or sister. If we have empathy, we may see someone as troubled, and therefore as someone we should wish to reach out to, to say a kind word to, to help if possible, to lift the person up, and not to turn around and put the person down.
This is humility and the opposite of arrogance. May our Teshuva from arrogance and ego be successful, so we can get one step closer to being תמימים עם ה' אל-קינו, by honoring Him best in His House – the Beis HaKnesses, and by honoring Him through loving his children as best as we can.
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