Friday, December 9, 2022

במרמה – With Trickery? Or Wisdom?

Parshat Vayishlach 

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

 The word במרמה appears in two contexts in the Torah – Yitzchak’s assessment of Yaakov’s charade to take the Brachos, and the way in which the brothers speak to Shechem and Hamor, their sister’s rapist and his father.

While it is not disputed that the word would typically be translated “with trickery” many of the commentaries note that the implication of the word is בחכמה, that both Yaakov visavis the blessings and Yaakov's sons visavis Shechem and Hamor were “wise” in their course of action. 

 While the analysis regarding Yaakov’s efforts to receive the blessings is more appropriate for Parshas Toldos (and it is worthy to note that Ibn Ezra claims the מרמה is “that Yaakov did not speak truth”), Haktav V’Hakabbalah has a lengthy analysis in which he suggests that מרמה in that context comes from the root רם which means to elevate and exalt, indicating that Yaakov did what he was supposed to with regard to the blessings. He even takes Ibn Ezra to task for besmirching both Yitzchak and Yaakov in his interpretation of that word in the negative. Especially since Yaakov and Eisav did agree on a deal that granted Yaakov firstborn status. 

While it is interesting that Baal HaTurim connects these two instances suggesting that Yaakov was punished measure for measure with his sons speaking במרמה in his presence (in Shechem) on account of what he did to his father (at the blessings), the reality is that the Torah doesn’t describe Yaakov’s behavior in that way: Yitzchak does. And what Yitzchak’s intention was in saying Yaakov acted במרמה is subject to debate, leaving open the possibility that Yaakov’s sons were in the right in the way they dealt with Shechem and Hamor if they spoke במרמה and that word can be understood as "rightly." (Pesikta also makes the connection but doesn’t view it as measure for measure) 

To summarize what happened, Shechem kidnapped and raped Dinah, then spoke softly to her, as if to fix in her mind that what had taken place wasn’t wrong, but was an act of mutual love and affection. Keeping her trapped in his home, he came with his father to Yaakov in order to legally and properly get permission to keep Dinah as his muse (or wife?). Yaakov is shattered by the revelation of what has happened, and he leaves his sons to deal with the rapist/lover and his enabling father, at which point they engage in this מרמה, suggesting that the entire male population of the city of Shechem be circumcised for there to be a chance of the two populations mixing in marital unions. 

 There are 3 most significant points of view as to what this could mean.

1. The מרמה was in asking for ALL the males to circumcise, as they assumed the general population would not agree, rendering any agreement null. (Chizkuni, Ramban) Alternatively, the מרמה was in suggesting that circumcision alone would make the two peoples united into one people (Hadar Zekenim). 

2. The מרמה was really חכמה (Rashi). The wisdom was in not buying the story that Shechem was portraying. Shechem was presenting himself as wanting Dinah for honorable reasons, but was not telling the full story that he had already raped her and locked her up. His story was that Dinah was in his home because she didn’t want to leave! (B’chor Shor) Malbim suggests the מרמה was in their focusing on circumcision, so he wouldn’t think that they harbored a grudge over the kidnapping and rape. In focusing their ire to him over his not being circumcised, he let his guard down over the real issue, which is how he had treated Dinah. Malbim even suggests that the implication of their focus on circumcision is that had Shechem been circumcised in the first place, OF COURSE they’d let him keep Dinah because everything would have been fine. 

3. Finally, מרמה was the accusation levied by the brothers against Shechem and Hamor. When the brothers called out the story as במרמה (essentially, “You are lying!”) Shechem and Hamor admitted to what had truly taken place (Yosef David Sinzheim – the head of Napoleon’s “Sanhedrin”). Haktav V’Hakabbalah says the brothers actually said “במרמה!” as their accusation against Shechem’s story. 

Haktav V’Hakaballah continues noting the psychological state of the brothers, suggesting that when they uttered the word במרמה they unloaded all the tension they were feeling through that one word, and didn’t say the rest of what they were thinking, because their emotions implied everything they wished to say.

Ramban has a lengthy comment in which he disagrees with Rambam over the justification Yaakov’s sons had for killing the inhabitants of Shechem. It is a dispute over their not having set up a proper justice system, or the whole city simply being complicit in kidnapping and rape. Suffice it to say, while Yaakov was upset with Shimon and Levi for having killed the males of the city, most commentaries are of the view that Shimon and Levi were in the right. One need look no further than Hamor’s claims that “when we circumcise we will own of their belongings!” to see that he wasn’t on the up-and-up. 

We refer to Yaakov as the man of Truth* – תתן אמת ליעקב – and yet Yaakov (and in this case his sons) seems to be involved in deceit more often than we like to imagine. How could this be so? 

Many Midrashim (Rashi quotes them) on 29:12 have Yaakov telling Rachel that if her father will cheat him, he will cheat Lavan right back. 

In other words, there isn’t deception when dealing with a deceiver. The rules of warfare don’t apply when the enemy isn’t following the rules of warfare. 

It is not our way to recommend dishonesty as the Torah enjoins us to distance ourselves from falsehoods. However, there is very little benefit to being taken advantage of by someone who does not play fairly. 

What we learn from Yaakov and sons is that when the other side is deceitful, playing the same game is justified. In modern Israeli slang, there are few things worse than being labled a “Freier.” Apparently Yaakov and sons felt the same way, and by and large the commentaries support such an approach when dealing with dishonest characters.
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* An interpretation is that Yaakov's "truth" is an esoteric concept, bearing little connection to the concept of deception that plays out, which is necessary as noted here when dealing with unsavory characters

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