The Sinai Experience – Unifying a People Apart

This is an expansion of this Dvar Torah

 Parshat Yitro

There is no question that the highlight of our parsha is the lead-in to and the declaration of the Aseres HaDibros, the Ten Statements that some call the Ten Commandments, of chapter 19 and 20 respectively. 

 There is a clear link between the events of Refidim (water and Amalek battle) and the arrival at Sinai (see 19:2 “ויסעו מרפידים” - they traveled from Refidim). This connection may serve to indicate that Yisro’s visit is simply thematically connected, but not chronological in the story (following views of Rashi and Ibn Ezra that Yisro’s presence is after the giving of the Torah). 

 Kli Yakar looks at the name Refidim, noting it has the same letters as פרידים (Peridim) – which means the people were divided. Is it any wonder that the event with the rock and the water is called Masah U’Mrivah, which reference fighting? He adds that on account of their division רפו ידיהם – they removed their hands from the Torah. 

 After the water incident, they were attacked by Amalek, which forced them to band together to fight a common enemy. Perhaps this is what is meant by זכור את אשר עשה לך עמלק – remember, what Amalek did to you, you being in the singular. Amalek united all of you against a common enemy. This was not the Modus operandus du jour of the Israelites in the wilderness. Targum Yonatan notes that the people were as one heart at Sinai, but Rashi (based on the Mechilta) expands on that sentiment noting that was not the case at any other encampment - אבל שאר כל החניות בתרעומת ובמחלוקת - “all other encampments were filled with complaints and argumentation.” Kli Yakar notes the singularity of the Sinai experience through first noting כי בקשת הכבוד והשררה סיבה לכל ריב ולכל נגע, that the pursuit of kavod and of ruling-power was the source for every fight and plague, but now that they realized how small Sinai actually was, אז ראו שהקב"ה בוחר בענוים! Now they saw that God prefers humble entities. Certainly mountains, and even moreso humans. 

 SEEING Sinai caused them to embrace the feeling of submission – in other words, to avoid strife – so that they could embrace PEACE. The essence of the mountain, עניוות, is what brought about the peace among the factions of Israelites. 

 Read carefully how the Torah presents their arrival. א) בַּחֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֔י לְצֵ֥את בְּנֵי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל מֵאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרָ֑יִם בַּיּ֣וֹם הַזֶּ֔ה בָּ֖אוּ מִדְבַּ֥ר סִינָֽי: THEY (in the plural) came to the wilderness of Sinai ב) וַיִּסְע֣ו מֵרְפִידִ֗ים וַיָּבֹ֙אוּ֙ מִדְבַּ֣ר סִינַ֔י וַֽיַּחֲנ֖וּ בַּמִּדְבָּ֑ר וַיִּֽחַן־שָׁ֥ם יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל נֶ֥גֶד הָהָֽר: THEY traveled from Refidim, THEY came to Sinai, and THEY camped in the wilderness (all plurals with the suffix וּ). Then the singular ISRAEL camped at the Mountain. 

 Wilderness-wise they were still many people, many opinions, not united. But when they got to the mountain, as they realized God would reveal Himself on this particular and specific mountain, they realized the key ingredient to accepting the Torah was humility!... then they were כאיש אחד בלב אחד – united in every way as one. 

 The Gemara in Shabbos 89b gives a number of explanations for why the mountain and its surrounding wilderness were called סיני, some of which are subsequently challenged. 

 Rav Kahana – it’s a play on words. סיני because ניסים (miracles) were done for Israel there. 

 Challenge: Then it should be called הר ניסאי! (“Mount Miracles”) 

 

Gemara suggests – סיני because it sound like סימן טוב – good things happened to Israel there. 

 Challenge: Then it should be called הר סימנאי! (“Mount Good Signs”) 

 

Gemara explains why it was really called Sinai הר שירדה שנאה לאמות העולם עליו. It is a mountain at which hostility was descended toward the nations (סיני and שנאה sound similar). 

 The Gemara presents a similar argument as it explains what Sinai’s real name was: חורב. It was called Horeb because שירדה חורבה לאמות העולם עליו. Because desolation [hurbah] to idolaters descended thereon. 

 Rashi explains the “hatred” or the “destruction” to the nations of the world as meaning their moral compass was demonstrably skewed! He says שלא קבלו בו תורה, simply because they themselves didn’t receive the Torah. [We are not getting into the question of whether people who are not guided by the Torah can live moral lives – of course they can! Nor are we entertaining the question of those who seem to live a life governed by the Torah, yet who are immoral.] 

 But the Gemara’s reality focuses on who did accept the Torah there? And the answer of course is the בני ישראל - in a crescendo of a 400-years process, during which time the descendants of Avraham had so many traumatic experiences. On individual levels they were going in different directions. Every personality was different, every family had a different outlook, and everyone had a different idea of what it meant to be freed from slavery, to leave the norm of Egypt – bad as it was – and begin to live a life תחת כנפי השכינה – under the wings of the Divine. Or על כנפי נשרים – on the wings of Neshers – as it were. 

 They arrived at Sinai, for the experience of Sinai, and they were united because the mountain demonstrated for them that the Torah isn’t just for the mighty and lofty and powerful. The Torah is for everybody. And everybody has a personal challenge, to ask oneself, how am I making the Torah mine? 

The Aseres Hadibros are written in the singular! It is as if God was speaking to every Jew, face to face, so that each Israelite could internalize the message, take the lessons, and apply the Torah as an individual mandate – as part of the collective Am Yisrael. 

 The Aseres HaDibros are timeless. And while they don’t need updating, perhaps an expansion on the Bein Adam LaChaveiro side would do us wonders. 

1. Believe that every Jew has value, and that Hashem loves every Jew. 

2. We should not worship any rabbinic leader, government leader, social activist, government organization or media company, especially (in the latter cases) when they pit human beings against one another. In the former, if they do what they do, say what they say, preach what they preach for any goal other than for the sake of heaven and the enhancement of human relationships, they are in the wrong position. 

3. Don’t put any instruction given by human beings above the basic premise of “Loving your neighbor” – even if you disagree with your neighbor 

4. Remember that every human being is created in the image of God. And only if that person damages the image of God (through murdering other people or denying others’ humanity through other horrific crimes) is the person to be treated in kind 

5. We honor those deserving of honor, including our elders and those who conduct themselves, and all of their affairs, with dignity and humility 

6. Do not destroy the life of the non-criminal (or innocent of sin) through Lashon Hora, even if you disagree with someone and believe you are right 

7. Do not betray a confidence if someone shares private information, unless someone is in physical danger – whether from someone else or potentially self-inflicted 

 8. Do not steal or tarnish a person’s good name just because the person holds an unpopular opinion (argue against the opinion if necessary, but leave the personal out of it!) 

9. If a dispute can’t be settled in person or through an intermediary, bring it to a respectable unbiased Beis Din. Both parties must agree to go so the dispute can be resolved with both sides accepting the ruling. 

10. Observance of the Torah is based on Anivus (humility), which means we are all imperfect and we know it. Just as we don’t want to change, we can’t expect others to change; just as we have a yetzer tov and a yetzer hara we struggle with all the time, so does everyone else have their own personal battles we know nothing about.

Too often people play God in their view of others. It is not our responsibility to decide what is best for other people, nor is it our responsibility to judge what determines a person’s place in our communities. Some people love Torah learning. Some can’t find the time for it. Some people shun sports and modernity, some people love sports and modernity. Some are careful about Cholov Yisrael, some follow Rav Moshe Feinstein’s teaching that in America, all milk is kosher. Some people don’t like concerts, some get spiritual highs from concerts. Some people have an amazing relationship with Hashem, some people struggle with the concept of God. Some find davening meaningful all the time, some don’t – ever. Some are more strict about halakhot, some are more lenient. Some people find an observant life easy, some struggle mightily. Some people think what a person wears defines the person’s Jewishness, some people are satisfied with simply being modest in dress. Some people don’t see modesty as a big deal. Just as every person’s medical profile is private, and should be no one else’s business (beyond physicians and close family members), we do not determine anyone’s place in the community based on those private decisions. 

 There is supposed to be room for all types in our community. We are all, by design, wired differently. Any set of parents who have more than one child know very well that even children who come from the same exact DNA can be so so so different from one another. Certainly that is true of all of humanity who do not come from the exact same two parents! 

 The Kli Yakar’s lesson was that the seeking of Kavod is what caused Machlokes, and the lesson of Anivus, of humility that was learned merely from LOOKING at Har Sinai, is what brought the Jewish people together, בלב אחד with one heart, כאיש אחד as one person. 

 It was called Sinai, because from there “Sinah went down upon the nations” – it doesn’t mean hatred. It just means there’s a difference between “us” and “them” – and that difference is that ALL of us (All of the Jewish people) received the Torah. And so, it is so important to remember that while Ahavas Yisrael is meant to lead us to love all Jews regardless… certainly all those who identify with Torah, and who struggle to do their best in their dedication to it and in their dedication to the Ribono Shel Olam, should be loved unconditionally. 

 If we can remember all we have in common, and do what we can to increase Ahavas Yisrael, hopefully we can experience once again, in a manner that need not be fleeting, what it means to be בלב אחד כאיש אחד, as we all embrace the Torah as one nation, as each one of us struggles to make the most of our relationships with, and our commitments to God, while never neglecting our duties toward accepting the humanity of other people, especially our fellow Jews.