Who Is to Blame When People Die?

Parshat Vayeshev

Chapter 38 begins with the tale of Yehuda’s marriage, the birth of his children, and the deaths of Er and Onan, in their respective marriages to Tamar. 

Before we get into the Torah's depiction of their deaths, as well as the reasons for their young lives being so cut short, let us examine the name Er for a moment. 

What does ער mean? Where does the name come from? Midrash Rabba says he was named Er  ותקרא שמו ער, שהוער מן העולם – “He was called Er because he was emptied from the world.” (Many Midrashim cite this same idea. Targum Yonatan says he is “Er” because he will die childless) This could be a ploy the Bible often uses to name someone based on what their fate turned out to be. Hevel (vanity, emptiness) did not live very long. Machlon and Kilyon (illness and destruction) died young as well. Were these their real names? It is hard to imagine that at Er’s bris speech Yehuda said, “We named him Er because we anticipate he will die young.”

A different explanation for his name, much more positive and uplifting, is noted by Ramban, who quotes the verse in Tehillim 80:3 that has the word ער meaning to arouse strength. Rabbi Moshe of Kovrin similarly suggested that “ער” comes from the word לעורר, that he was meant to serve as a source of inspiration to others towards Godliness.

If his name was indeed Er, and it is not the Torah’s way of commenting on his short-lived life, then wouldn’t the explanation of Ramban and the Kovrin Rebbe be more palatable than the viewpoint of the Midrash?

With this in mind, let us look at Er's death. The Torah tells us that וַיְהִ֗י עֵ֚ר בְּכ֣וֹר יְהוּדָ֔ה רַ֖ע בְּעֵינֵ֣י ה' וַיְמִתֵ֖הוּ ה' – “Er, Yehuda’s firstborn, was bad in God’s eyes, and God had him die.”

There is no other explanation given – God saw him as “bad.” (Onan’s death is less mysterious, therefore less intriguing and will only be mentioned peripherally.)

According to the Talmud Sanhedrin 69 – and a basic mathematical formula – Er and Onan had to have been between 7-12 years old (Seder Olam says “7”). No matter how we understand their death-causing errors, Er and Onan were what we would call in our times “children.” The closest thing we have in our tradition of children dying at this age as a punishment is the example of the “ben sorer u’moreh” (the rebellious son) who could be executed at age 13 based on how his current behavior reflects upon how we anticipate he will turn out (Devarim 21:21, see Rashi on 21:18, and Mishnah Sanhedrin 8:5). Could the same reasoning apply to the deaths of Er and Onan? The Torah specifically mentions what Onan did to be deserving of death (38:9-10), and the Midrash, and therefore many commentaries say that Er did the same thing, and thus God took his life.

But that’s not a universally accepted point!

There is a view, also recorded in the Midrash, that Yehuda’s “fall” after the sale of Yosef, is what led to his burying his wife and sons (Midrash Rabba 85:2-3, see also Sotah 13b). Maharsha on the Talmud suggests that Yehuda’s sin(s) caused their deaths.

Ramban purposely does not specify what Er’s sin was, but takes issue with the just cited Midrash and Gemara, noting that “[the verse] indicates that he died on account of his own sin, to let us know that his death did not come as a punishment to Yehuda over the sale of Yosef.”

The Pesikta notes that “no one knew of his wickedness except for God.”

Netziv looks at the totality of the verse and suggests , “Because he was ‘Yehuda’s first born’ – that’s why he died. Once he was determined to be ‘bad in God’s eyes’ and not worthy of producing the seed that would ultimately father kingship” he needed to be removed from the equation and had to die. Netziv supports this idea with a teaching from Yoma 72b.

With all these conflicting notions, I like to think that the answer to the question of  “Why did Er die?” is “We don’t know why Er died.” We only know that ער was רע in God’s eyes. His name is turned around, suggesting that he himself was backwards in God’s eyes. Trying to answer for why he died is trying to understand the ways of God.

The best answer for why Er died is because God wanted it that way.

And so it is with death in general. We don’t know why people die. 

We certainly want everyone we know to live longer. All of us probably want to live a long and healthy life.

We do know how some or most people die. We know that pointing fingers at who is to blame for anyone’s death (with the exception of actual murderers) is a naïve and almost childish response to how God runs the world. Some very bad decisions by errant politicians and not-as-yet-informed physicians can be pointed to as having killed people who needn’t have died, especially if poor decisions and patient-care actions directly caused death.

That said, we live in a time when people call their political opponents murderers. We live in a time when medical choices people make for themselves are judged by others. We live in a time when government has decided it can and must ruin many lives (both among the living and the lives that have been lost due to government overreach, mismanagement, and thinking they’re smarter than a virus) at the cost of saving some lives. Who is to say what is right? Who is to say what is wrong?

Is there a debate about who is to blame for Er’s death? Yes. The debate boils down to Er himself, or his father’s errors. But the Torah makes it clear that God is the One Who decided that Er should die! Had there been other bad people in the Torah prior to Er? Yes. Some of them died (Flood, Sodom), and other controversial characters were allowed to live (Pharaoh, Avimelekh, Lavan).

We continue not to know or understand the ways of God. 

Our task, as was Yehuda's task, is to move beyond the death of loved ones, to gather the pieces of our broken hearts and live life to the fullest that is possible. Suggesting we know, or blaming innocent people for deaths of anyone, when a virus and illness are things which God put into the world, comes from a deep and dark place that suggests humans can fully control and counter the ways of God. 

While we certainly pray for everyone to be well, and for everyone to be blessed with health, in the end, we do not know God's account, we don't know why anyone lives or does not live, we don't know or understand God's Master Plan.