Well, You Never Know

Parshat Toldot 

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Our parsha introduces us to Yitzchak, Rivkah, Yaakov and Eisav who seem to view life and its purpose differently than how Avraham and Sarah framed their own lives. 

Without getting into what constitutes being one of the Patriarchs or Matriarchs of our people, Avraham’s focus on God, Justice, Righteousness, Kindness, seems a far cry from the goals Yitzchak displays. Yes, Yitzchak prays to God for his wife to have a child. And yes, Rivkah prays (or seeks out an answer from God) over her difficult pregnancy. 

But Yitzchak’s relationship with the Almighty seems very one-sided – the initiative for the relationship seems to come mostly from God Himself. True, we give Yitzchak credit for introducing the Mincha prayer (Brachos 26b), and his venture into the field at which time he met Rivkah for the first time is assumed to be for a conversation with God (24:63), but the verse doesn’t actually say he is conversing with God. 

Yaakov and Eisav discuss the birthright. While Rashi teaches us that Yaakov wanted it for religious reasons, to serve in a future Mikdash, the text of the Torah indicates that the birthright was something which could be bought – e.g. a monetary value. God’s name does not appear in their conversation, perhaps hinting that it wasn’t a focus they were raised with at their age. 

The chapter most focused on Yitzchak and Rivkah – chapter 26 – mostly has God communicating with Yitzchak on account of His relationship with Avraham (26:2-5). Unlike his father, who said the reason he claimed his wife to be his sister in Gerar was because of a lack of “Fear of God” in this place, Yitzchak blames his presenting Rivkah as a sister on his worry “that I might die [be killed] over her” (26:9) – with no mention of God. We are told that Hashem blessed Yitzchak (26:12), but we are not really told that Yitzchak reciprocated the blessing through thanks, prayer, etc, until the discovery of the third well, Rechovot, over which his and Avimelekh’s servants did not fight, and Yitzchak acknowledged God’s role in his success (26:22). God then appears to Yitzchak again (26:24) to tell him that He blesses him on account of Avraham. Then Yitzchak, for the only time in the Torah, builds a Mizbeach (altar) for calling out in God’s name (26:25). 

When Avimelekh and Fichol return to him with an open hand, looking for peace, Yitzchak reminds them that they hate him (were jealous of him) and kicked him out of their land. They say “We see that God is with you.” (26:28) They say, “Baruch Hashem.” (26:29) Yitzchak’s relationship with God is told to us through others’ perception, not through our seeing or hearing of what he says or does to enhance that relationship. 

Yitzchak’s only references to God in his conversations with Yaakov and Eisav are that Yaakov (in disguise) smells like a field that God (‘Hashem’) has blessed (27:27) and that “God (‘Elokim’) should give you” of the bounty of the earth, etc (27:28) He never mentions God in conversation with Eisav. At the end, before sending Yaakov to Lavan, he says, “God (‘El Shaddai’) should bless you, and give you the blessing of Avraham, etc” (28:3-4). While it is certainly compelling that Yitzchak uses a different name for God each of these times, the sparsity of reference to God is still striking. 

This is not to suggest that Yitzchak did not have a special relationship with Hashem. We simply don’t know enough about Yitzchak, we don’t see much more than very minimal snapshots of his life, and all for very different purposes than what we witnessed in Avraham’s life experiences. 

In all honesty, were we to go by having God’s name on one’s lips, we could argue that Yosef is more worthy, based on the snapshots we are given of his life experiences, as constantly mentions God in Egypt. But religion and a relationship with God is not a competition. Yitzchak took the mantle from his father and made it his own, and sealed his own place in the legacy of the Israelites/Jewish people through his own grit, his gevurah, and his ability to hold his own in confrontations. He cannot be faulted for not seeing through Yaakov’s disguise since he is blind, nor for not knowing of the deal made between Yaakov and Eisav over the birthright – as he may not have known of their transaction, may not have taken it seriously (they were likely 15 at the time), or he was not privy to the prophesy Rivkah was told of the older serving the younger. From a different vantage point, it is quite possible that Yitzchak knew exactly what was going on, and played along because he knew he had to do so for reasons pertaining to the true destiny of Am Yisrael. 

Using the evidence given to us in the text, it might be possible to at the very least discuss Yitzchak’s worthiness of being one of the Patriarchs. And while I hope we all come to the conclusion that of course Yitzchak is worthy and IS the second of the Patriarchs, that still might not stop the most cynical person who accepts Yitzchak’s worthiness through a lens of skepticism from saying “Well, you never know what warrants becoming a Patriarch.” 

You never know. And yet, with the right Emunah, the right trust in God, and the right faith that our Torah is true and that our Patriarchs were more incredible than we could imagine, maybe we do know, even while we say “you never know.” 

It is also true that we never know a lot of things in life. 

You never know when or where or if you’re going to meet your spouse. You never know if your marriage is going to last. You never know if you’re going to be blessed with health. You never know if your business venture will be successful or a failure. You never know if you will like your chosen profession. You never know if people will like you. You never know how people perceive you or think of you. You never know if you’re going to injure yourself taking that next step. You never know if you take a fall whether you will emerge unscathed. You never know if you will be widowed or will pass away first. You never know if your children will experience the pain you hoped to shield them from. You never know if letting them get a license to drive, a marriage license, or any license, will open their lives to great blessing or great heartache. You never know if that bite you eat will be your last. You never know if your vacation will be perfect or marred by illness and un expected infection. You never know if the lecture you attend will strike the right chord. You never know if the book you read will change your life. You never know if the lecture or book you pass on would have changed your life, if only you had taken advantage of the opportunity you had to learn and be exposed to new ideas, or a new approach to facing life. 

You never know. 

While we all look forward to the end of distancing and masking, I’ve been hearing the phrase “you never know” bandied about in two related contexts. First, unless indicated otherwise, “You never know if you or the person you’re talking to carry infection.” Second, “You never know if the treatment for the infection will be 100% efficacious.” 

While every other “you never know” never really stopped most of us from getting married, engaging with the world, taking risks in business, getting on a plane, on a cruise, in a car, stepping out into the world, talking to people, trying to make business deals, exercising, eating, having children, enjoying life, reading books, opting out of opportunities, taking risks with other opportunities, I worry that these last two “you never knows” will hold us back from living life to the fullest again. It’s true – you never know if the person you are talking to may infect you, or whether you may infect someone. It’s true – you never know if treatments for illness are 100% efficacious. 

Will we be ready to re-engage with one another socially when the time comes? Will be able to enter a crowded room – to be in a full shul, or any venue that is most electric and special when it is full? Will we need real healing, or will we be ready, because we are psyching ourselves up for that time? Will we always be worried that this encounter with a person will kill me? 

You never know. 

But if we trust in God, then just as any skepticism about Yitzchak can be ignored, any worries about the unknown can also be put in His hands. If we believe that when it’s our time is up to Him, then we don’t have to go through life saying “you never know.” After all, it’s in HIS hands! 

While there is truth to “you never know,” we DO know that God is in charge. What He wants will be – it is our task to use our time on earth to live life to the fullest that we can, balanced by an anchor that “God carries me” no matter how things turn out.