The Battlefields of Life

Parsat Ki Tetze

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

Last week we read the phrase כי תצא למלחמה על אויביך (when you go out to war against your enemy), and the parsha this week begins with the same phrase.

The two situations are very different – last week we read of a leader declaring to the people that those who are afraid, or those who recently betrothed, those who began building a house or planting a vineyard and haven’t used them yet – go home. Your mind is elsewhere, you bring down morale - this is not a battle for you.

This week we read the case of the y’fat to’ar, the beautiful woman from the enemy people that the Jewish soldier becomes smitten by through a whole host of reasons which are not discussed, for which the Torah gives him permission to take her home and possibly get to the stage where she becomes his wife.

Both cases describe people who are going out to war and facing a real battlefield. But arguably, the real battlefield is the one which is much trickier to navigate, namely, the battlefield of how to deal with life when you get home.

What happens when the war is over and you now need to pick up the pieces of a life that is tainted by a form of trauma, or cowardice, or the reality that you left the battlefield while others fought and died for you to enjoy your life?

The second half of the phrase mentions that you are going out to battle “against your enemy.”

Incredibly, the theme of fighting the enemy is pervasive throughout the parsha, a Torah portion laden with Mitzvos. Every confrontation, every situation we find ourselves in, is a battle against an enemy, whether our conscience, our yetzer hora, or the morals and scruples that challenge our character.

Sometimes it’s a battle with another person. Who will win in our dispute? Who will be victorious in court? Who will triumph in the decision making? Whose word will become law in the house?

And sometimes it’s a battle with ourselves. Will I do it even though I know it’s wrong? Will I hold myself back even though I really want to do it? Will I defeat my depression? Will I overcome the challenge life is sending my way?

There are so many mitzvos in the parsha which are battles! Some of them are a choice of whether I even need to do this. Some are a moral choice, or an ethical choice.

 • A person has a first born with each of his wives. Which first born gets the first-born treatment? The older of the two, or his favored wife’s son? This is a battle to overcome favorites and give the true b’chor!
 • The rebellious son – a theoretical tale, the Talmud tells us. It’s a battle! Do I bring my child to court? Do I want to go through this process?
 • The corpse of an executed criminal is to be hanged on a tree briefly to teach people a lesson. It’s a battle! People need to learn. But he’s already been punished and we don’t want to desecrate the body! 
• Returning lost items. We know it’s the right thing to do. But what if I can really use the item, I need the money, no one will ever know? It’s a battle!
 • For a person who has a yetzer hara to wear clothing of the opposite sex, the Torah forbids it! How does a person who has this desire get over it? It’s a battle!
 • Sending away the mother bird. Do you really need the baby birds? Do you really need these eggs? The Torah says if you send the mother away you are promised Lengthened days! Is this a guarantee of long life? There is also the option to not touch the eggs or babies! The babies will likely die if they are handled. So what do I want more? Lengthened days, or ruining the experience of these baby birds and their mother? It’s a battle!
 • Not grafting fruits, not wearing Shatnez – these are hassles for the person who likes to experiment with mixing materials.
 • Wear tzitzis? But it’s difficult in hot weather, even annoying some times in cold weather. But I want to fulfill mitzvos! Here’s a chance to fulfill an easy one! But they’re itchy! I hate wearing them tucked in, but I also hate wearing them out! It’s a battle!
 • The second half of chapter 22 describes a bunch of male-female relationships that go sour. Some are her fault, some are his fault. In dealing with the repercussions and fallouts, the consequences, on ALL sides, are devastating to the people in question, and to the community when they are called upon to participate in eradicating the evil behavior in question. How to participate? What limits to set? What line do I draw? These are all battles of human struggle.
 • “Those who are unwelcome in the community of God” refers to certain males who may not marry Jewesses. What did the Mamzer do to deserve this fate? His parents committed an immoral act, but he is innocent of wrongdoing. And the Moabite – forever, can never join the Jewish people. Who did worse to the Jewish people- Moab or the Nazis? There are grandchildren of Nazis who are religious Jews today. Some serve in the IDF. They are welcome (of course they are!) but Moabites are not? It’s a moral battle – must Moabites be despised by us forever on account of an incident from thousands of years ago?
 • The rules of Leket, Shikchah and Peah are in our parsha. Leave a corner of your field, your orchard, your vineyard, your olive grove for the poor. But I need the food! I need the money! I’ll give them a donation at the door! Wouldn’t that be sufficient – and this way I know what they’re getting and I don’t need to worry that they’re leaving nothing for others! No one goes empty handed, just stay off my property! Torah says that’s not how it works. But it’s surely a battle.

This theme can be walked through just about every mitzvah in the parsha.

This time of year we face another battle - the Teshuvah battle. Some might even refer to Teshuvah as a “losing battle.”  But if someone wants it, it is attainable. In some cases it just requires baby steps.

What is my vice? What do I know I do wrong? Where do I want to improve? What is hampering my ability to get there?

For many of us, technology has sucked the marrow out of life. Whether it’s the cell phone, the television, the computer, the Internet, there is so much distraction and noise from outside influences, sometimes what is really needed is a break from it all in order to focus on what are meant to be more important concerns for we who call ourselves “Avdei Hashem” (servants of the Almighty). Cold turkey does not work for everyone, but perhaps we can set limitations for ourselves – I will only use my phone, the Internet, the television, etc for a limited amount of time. I will slowly reduce my social media presence. I will remove time-sucking apps from my phone.

Another arena in which we are in a perpetual state of battle is against the vice of Lashon Hora. Recognizing that some conversations about others are not Lashon Hora, most conversations about others are Lashon Hora, even, in some cases, when being complimentary.

In these last few months, one of the biggest arenas that has been fodder for Lashon Hora has been in our judging and talking about others who go about their lives differently than we might during this period of lockdown and isolation. Maybe we don’t see it in ourselves, but when we look at others for not seeing things the way we see them, and when we raise a disapproving eye towards others (whether their mask slips below their nose, or they wear a mask and faceshield when alone in the car, or even further extremes in either direction), we are guilty of some of the things we will be confessing as our sins in Viduy on Yom Kippur.

And of course we speak Lashon Hora in other arenas as well.

These are our battles.

The Slonimer Rebbe uses this metaphor of battles to describe our struggle with the Yetzer Hora. And he talks about battles everyone faces, including:

My need for kavod
My need to get ahead, sometimes at the other person’s expense
My need to view myself as better than the other person
My need to indulge in pleasures to excess
My need to follow my desires, rather than be tempered by the Torah’s limitations.

His take home message focuses on a grammatical point.

כי תצא למלחמה is written in the singular. When you, the individual, go out to war. Really it should say כי תצאו למלחמה – when you the nation made up of many people go out to war….

Using a teaching from the Sifrei on another example of going out to war in our Parsha - כִּֽי־תֵצֵ֥א מַחֲנֶ֖ה עַל־אֹיְבֶ֑יךָ – the Slonimer Rebbe argues that all battles require the Bnei Yisrael to be a Machane (camp). And of course, the ideal Machane is how the people were at the bottom of Mt Sinai – ויחן שם ישראל נגד ההר – ewhen they people were כאיש אחד בלב אחד – as one man with one heart. This simply means that our destinies are intertwined as the Bnei Yisrael. Remember, Achdus (unity) does not mean we are robots and are all the same. It means that in living our Jewish lives, we all serve the same God together, even when we have different outlooks in life.

Our goal as we inch towards the High Holidays is to fulfill קדושים תהיו. And the Slonimer Rebbe quotes another Midrash on Kedoshim Tihyu (“you should be holy”), that it was recited at Hakhel, when the entire nation was gathered as one. That the key ingredient in achieving Kedoshim Tihyu is על ידי זה שיהודי דבוק לישראל אחיו בכח של כאיש אחד בלב אחד – that the Jew should be intertwined to his Israelite brethren through the power of “like one man with one heart.”

We are in a proverbial battle to see a return to normalcy and a time period when we are all once again comfortable emerging and being in each other’s presence. If we live up to the mantra of being Kedoshim, of seeing the best in others, even when we have different viewpoints, these are the ingredients that will hopefully ensure for us the blessing of a Shana Tova on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

Being King-Like in Getting Close to God and our Fellow Man

Parshat Shoftim 

 by Rabbi Avi Billet 

Today we read the Mishpat HaMelekh – the rules surrounding the appointment of a king. One of the Torah’s instructions for the king is to personally have a Torah written for himself, which he will have with him at all times. He must read from it daily in order to learn to fear God and to observe the words of the Torah and to fulfill its laws.

These rules are meant to prevent him from raising his heart above his brethren, and to prevent him from turning away from the commandments. As the Ibn Ezra points out – "if he doesn't learn it, how will he know what to do?" Through this he is assured that his kingdom will last forever.

We can safely assume King David did this – which is why we continue to say דוד מלך ישראל חי וקים.

Did the king have to physically carry it with him at all times? It would seem that the ability to do this would be contingent on the size of the Torah in question, and if there was a way to carry it that would not disable him from otherwise using his arms.

According to the Ksav V'hakabalah – the terms are specific. When he is instructed to read it – obviously for that he needs a physical Torah. When he is instructed to have it with him at all times – that is not as much about a physical book as much as he must carry the teachings of the Torah on his heart at all times. He must be governed by a Jewish ethic and a humanitarian ethic that prevents him from being above Torah law, or from abusing his position as king.

Ramban explains quite pointedly that the final verse's warning – not to raise his heart above his brothers – is the ultimate lesson in humility, warning the king to run from haughtiness and arrogance.

" כי הגאוה מדה מגונה ונמאסת אצל האלהים אפילו במלך Arrogance is one of the most despised character traits – even in a king. It is only God who has the גדולה and the רוממות. He alone is praised by Man. Shlomo Hamelech said in Mishlei (משלי טז ה) תועבת השם כל גבה לב " Everyone of haughty heart is an abomination of the Lord; hand to hand he will not go unpunished." In other words – even if he is a king.

The Yerushalmi Sanhedrin 2:6 records how the king must even carry the Torah with him – (whether literally or in his heart is not addressed by the Talmud here) – even when he goes out to battle. From this the Talmud learns a Kal Va'Chomer – which is essentially a logical structure for deriving a law or practice through comparing two issues.

The Talmud explains:

ומה אם מלך ישראל שהיה עסוק בצרכי ישראל If a king, who is so busy with the needs of the nation – he has to worry about security, finances, the needs of the people, making sure the law is followed, serving as a judge in many cases, etc etc – and he is nonetheless given NO exemption נאמר בו וקרא בו כל ימי חייו and he must learn the Torah on a daily basis, ההדיוט על אחת כמה וכמה. how much moreso would this responsibility to be dedicated to the Torah fall on someone who is not overwhelmed by all the national concerns.

The month of Elul began this week – shul goers have begun to hear the Shofar sounded. Does the Shofar arouse us from our slumber? Does this time period cause us to seriously reflect on our lives? Most of us can tick off marks on a checklist. We keep kosher. We keep Shabbos. We respect mitzvos. We daven. We value going to shul – even if current circumstances get in the way of minyan attendance.

But do we read from the Torah and other holy books on a DAILY basis? Do we try to know the halakha, understand the halakha, and live by the halakha? Do we aim to improve our relationship with God, through davening every day, through seeing God in our world and through making a sincere effort to get closer to Him?

We do not have a human king that we can turn to – to see in him model a relationship with God that we can emulate. Some turn to their Rosh Yeshiva for that, some turn to their Rebbe for that. Those who are in these spotlights should hopefully be worthy to be that inspiration for others. But they should always be blessed to remain humble knowing that in God's eyes, we are all the same.

All of us can create or set in our own mind's eye attainable goals.

The king is instructed not to have his heart turn away from his brethren. The image of the heart turning away is significant because it can be applied both to how we view our relationship with God, and to how we relate to our fellow Jew (and our fellow man).

The pandemic has brought out the best in some people. It has also brought out the extremes in the other direction. Judging others, not trusting others, thinking others are being careless and thoughtless are just some of the symptoms. It has also brought out a fear that I worry is a trauma people will need help pulling through to return to normal. We need to worry about ourselves and be concerned for others, but we also need to stop judging other people.

And in the between us and God realm, perhaps we can aim to start with one goal: to understand the words of our siddur and machzor better. We should read through them with a translation, and challenge ourselves to find meaning in the things we read, say and learn so we can reach these goals. Doing this properly should only help us connect with God. (There are other great goals, this is only meant to be a starting point!)

With God's help and the right drive, may we merit to get closer to Him in these weeks leading to Rosh Hashana. And may our goals be attainable as we remember – even the very busy king couldn't shirk from his relationship with God. Certainly we are capable of the same.

Giving Our Service of God a Boost

Parshat Reeh: 

Giving our Service of God a Boost

by Rabbi Avi Billet

In the first Siman of the laws of Rosh Hashana (Shulchan Arukh 551), the Mishneh Berurah (R Yisrael Meir Kagan, a.k.a. The Chafetz Chaim) records a custom from Rosh Chodesh Elul through Yom Kippur to recite Tehillim daily. “From Rosh Chodesh Elul and onward, after davening the congregation says 10 chapters… and since they are not saying a full book (of Tehillim’s seven books) one should say “בזכות מזמורי תהלים שקראנו לפניך...”, then after the “Y’hi Ratzon” a full Kaddish should be recited [If there is no minyan the Kaddish would not be said]… And during the Aseret Y’mei Teshuvah between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur more chapters should be said daily to finish Tehillim a third time before Yom Kippur.” (551: s”k 3) 

Though we are familiar with some specific chapters of Tehillim being part of our order of davening, the practice of using Tehillim as a form of tefillah as a standalone set of prayers might seem odd out of the context of our organized Siddur. In truth, some chapters of Tehillim seem wildly inappropriate to be used as Tefillah as they reflect more upon a historical event in the life of King David or a future calamity to face Israel than on an appeal or petition to God. And yet the tradition exists. 

If the previous paragraph found you nodding your head in agreement, know that you are in good company. Maimonides, in the Laws of Idolatry 11:12), raises his own hesitations about using religious symbols as a cure-all as he writes the following: 

“He who delivers a prayer of charm upon a wound and reads also a verse of the Torah thereon, likewise one who reads a Verse so that a babe shall suffer no fear, or who puts a Sefer Torah or Tefillin upon a child so that he might fall asleep, such are not alone included among the enchanters and charmers but are even included among those who deny the Torah, for they are employing the words of the Torah as a cure for the body, whereas they are not so but only remedies for the soul even as it is said: "And they will (shall) be life for thy soul" (Pro. 3.22). But a normally healthy person who reads Verses of the Torah or chapters of the Psalms, so that the righteousness of reading it shield him to escape suffering and accidents, lo, this is permitted.” [References: Sanhedrin 90a: 101a; Shavuot, 16b; Tosefta, Sanhedrin, Chapter, 12; Shabbat, 121b.] (translation from sefaria.org)

Despite seeming misgivings, he comes down in favor of the recitation of Tehillim as a form of Tefillah. We are told in Devarim chapter 12 that the ideal form of service of God takes place in the “Makom Asher Yivchar Hashem.” This “place that God will choose” is mentioned a number of times in this chapter, and a few more times in the book of Devarim, referring to what was ultimately revealed, hundreds of years later, as Jerusalem. This ideal form of service is in the Temple, and it consists of the truest form of Avodah (Temple Service) which was observed through the bringing of animal offerings, meal offerings, and fulfillments of other vows and devotions – whether in the form of donations, gifts, or other responsibilities, both God-induced or personally dedicated. 

 Most of that form of service is no longer part of our experience. It is in our lexicon, we speak of korbanot, but we do not bring these kinds of offerings. Our service is typically described as “Avodah She’b’lev” – service of the heart, which is what we call Tefillah, prayer. It is not confined by any means to service in Jerusalem alone, and perhaps in a contemporary twist, we might be able to argue that wherever a Jew finds himself or herself able to express one’s yearnings to the Almighty is “a place God has chosen.” 

This week being Shabbos Mevorchim Rosh Chodesh Elul, we can anticipate with the coming of the new month two changes to our regular regimen of Tefillah experience: the twice daily addition of Psalm 27 to our prayers for 50 days, as well as the weekday sounding of the Shofar until Rosh Hashana. 

With even our regular form of worship being curtailed for so many, a question we can ask ourselves is how can we give ourselves a boost? With many of us not attending shul with the regularity we enjoyed until March, perhaps this time of year is our chance to mix things up a bit and try something new. 

So here is the proposal: take Rambam’s allowance, and take Mishneh Brurah’s suggestions, and aim to go through Tehillim three times in the next 40 days, starting with Rosh Chodesh. 

The chart below gives two kinds of options for how to space out one’s going through Tehillim 3 times during this period. “MB’s order” refers to saying 10 chapters a day for two rounds of 15 days, then around 17 chapters a day for 9 days – to finish that third round before Yom Kippur. The “More Balanced” column suggests a division of Tehillim based on equal lengths of time, taking into account the different sizes of the chapters, and therefore allowing a person to cover the same number of pages per day, rather than possibly include very long chapters as one of the daily requisite number of chapters. This is particularly helpful with chapters 78, 89, 105 and 119. 

May our additional prayers serve as a merit for all of us, in anticipation of the High Holiday season.

(The in text chart is followed by a JPEG of the chart, if you prefer to click and print that)

Day of the Week	Hebrew Date	Eng Date	MB’s order	More balanced		Day of the Week	Hebrew Date	Eng Date	MB’s order	More balanced
Thurs	30 Av	8/20	1-10	1-14		Wed	20 Elul	9/9	51-60	53-64
Fri	1 Elul	8/21	11-20	15-23		Thurs	21 Elul	9/10	61-70	65-72
Sat	2 Elul	8/22	21-30	24-34		Fri	22 Elul	9/11	71-80	73-79
Sun	3 Elul	8/23	31-40	35-42		Sat	23 Elul	9/12	81-90	80-89
Mon	4 Elul	8/24	41-50	43-52		Sun	24 Elul	9/13	91-100	90-102
Tues	5 Elul	8/25	51-60	53-64		Mon	25 Elul	9/14	101-110	103-107
Wed	6 Elul	8/26	61-70	65-72		Tues	26 Elul	9/15	111-120	108-118
Thurs	7 Elul	8/27	71-80	73-79		Wed	27 Elul	9/16	121-130	119-124
Fri	8 Elul	8/28	81-90	80-89		Thurs	28 Elul	9/17	131-140	125-139
Sat	9 Elul	8/29	91-100	90-102		Fri	29 Elul	9/18	141-150	140-150
Sun	10 Elul	8/30	101-110	103-107		Sat	1 Tishrei	9/19	1-17	1-19
Mon	11 Elul	8/31	111-120	108-118		Sun	2 Tishrei	9/20	18-34	20-36
Tues	12 Elul	9/1	121-130	119-124		Mon	3 Tishrei	9/21	35-51	37-50
Wed	13 Elul	9/2	131-140	125-139		Tues	4 Tishrei	9/22	52-68	51-68
Thurs	14 Elul	9/3	141-150	140-150		Wed	5 Tishrei	9/23	69-85	69-80
Fri	15 Elul	9/4	1-10	1-14		Thurs	6 Tishrei	9/24	86-102	81-96
Sat	16 Elul	9/5	11-20	15-23		Fri	7 Tishrei	9/25	103-118	97-108
Sun	17 Elul	9/6	21-30	24-34		Sat	8 Tishrei	9/26	119-134	109-119
Mon	18 Elul	9/7	31-40	35-42		Sun	9 Tishrei	9/27	135-150	120-150
Tues	19 Elul	9/8	41-50	43-52		Mon	10 Tishrei	9/28