This was my sermon the first Shabbos of the Nine Days 5779
Does Sinas Chinam Still Exist? How can we move past
it?
Many of
us have an easy time relating to Shabbos. There is more written about Shabbos
than we can ever imagine. And our world increasingly recognizes the need to
take time off. To take a break from all the noise.
We can also appreciate finding meaning in
holidays. The Yamim Noraim are two months away. Those days are extremely
important to us.
But
this time of year - The Nine Days leading up to Tisha B’Av… it’s a challenge. This
is the topic of this afternoon’s class, “How can we relate to the Nine Days?”
It’s
very difficult to feel the mourning, the aveilus, that we are supposed to feel
for the loss of the Beis HaMikdash.
This
morning I want to focus on one component of Churban. Because, sadly, it is very
relatable.
Our
rabbis teach us that the 2nd Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of
Sinas Chinam.
It’s a
strange equation. Baseless hatred, therefore destroy the Holy Temple?
It gets
even more complicated when we consider the following passage in the Talmud,
Yoma 9b.
אבל מקדש שני, שהיו עוסקין בתורה ובמצות וגמילות
חסדים מפני מה חרב? מפני שהיתה בו שנאת חנם. ללמדך ששקולה שנאת חנם כנגד שלש עבירות:
עבודה זרה, גלוי עריות, ושפיכות דמים. רשעים היו, אלא שתלו בטחונם בהקדוש ברוך הוא.
In the
time of the second Beis Hamikdash, people were frum! Look what they were good
at! Torah, mitzvos, acts of kindness! BUT THEY HATED EACH OTHER.
THEY
COULDN’T STAND EACH OTHER!
To this
the Gemara concludes that Sinas Chinam is a sin on par with the 3 cardinal sins
of idolatry, sexual immorality and murder. They were רשעים! the Talmud says. But they had faith in God.
Nowadays,
I would question their faith in God. I would say They were frum! And they believed
that their being judgmental of others was justified in the name of what they
thought was God.
But I have
sad news. Those who justify their poor treatment of others in the name of what
they think is God are actually guilty of at least 2 of the big 3. They murder
other people through destroying their lives and reputations.
They
worship an idea of God that is completely foreign, because they view themselves
as holier than others, in their own “more pure” version of what they think is
Judaism.
And
these people do not deserve a Beis HaMikdash.
תלמוד ירושלמי (וילנא) מסכת יומא פרק א הלכה
א
אבל בשני מכירין אנו אותם שהיו יגיעין בתורה
וזהירין במצות ובמעשרות וכל ווסת טובה היתה בהן אלא שהיו אוהבין את הממון ושונאין
אלו לאלו שנאת חנם
The Yerushalmi adds that “People loved money and hated
one another.”
I will
address how we can get rid of Sinas Chinam in a moment. But before that, I have
to tell you. In preparation for today two passages from Shakespeare passed
through my mind. One is from As You Like It, when the character Jaques gives
his “All the World’s a Stage” monologue. I won’t read the whole thing to you, but it
begins
All the
world’s a stage,
And
all the men and women merely players;
They
have their exits and their entrances;
And
one man in his time plays many parts,
His
acts being seven ages.
WHICH
HE GOES ON TO NAME AND DESCRIBE.
· At first the infant,
· And then the whining school-boy
· And then the lover,
· Then a soldier,
· And then the justice,
· The sixth age shifts
Into
the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With
spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
· Last scene of all,
That
ends this strange eventful history,
Is
second childishness and mere oblivion;
I don’t care much for his depiction of the last stage.
But “As You Like It” is a comedy, so I’ll take it in stride. Comedy is funnier
when people understand it is meant to be humorous.
But the insight in human nature – that everyone has a
role to play at different stages of life, each with their exits and entrances –
was perhaps Shakespeare’s way of saying, Hey. We are all in this together. We
are all part of the human condition. There are stages in life that we all go
through, and our job is to worry about ourselves and our own responsibilities
and life challenges and stop worrying about how others are going about their responsibilities
and challenges.
Should we be concerned for others? Absolutely! That’s
what Chesed is! But Chesed is a one way street. When you don’t judge, and you
don’t expect anything in return.
Remember, Chesed means I care and I don’t keep
score. It’s not about whether you fit
into my picture of reality. It’s about how can I love you and look out for you
- despite our differences,
- even though we are different,
- BECAUSE we are different
Because difference is good. We are not robots.
If and when we churn out robots, we are doing
something wrong.
The second passage that I thought of is
from “the Merchant of Venice.” And while Shylock’s obsession with a pound of
flesh is the subtext of much of the play, the first time I was exposed to the profundity
of his most famous speech was in an article one of my teachers in high school
shared, that had been written by Rabbi Aharon Soloveichik, who quoted the
entire speech. I probably have the article in a file somewhere, I can’t find
it. But the title I remember – “Et tu, Jewish leaders?” It was a critique of
Jewish leadership who were requiring a conformity that Judaism does NOT
require, which was bringing about a critique of the Jewish people which was
unsubstantiated. Beyond that, I don’t remember the details.
And so Rav Aharon quoted Shylock.
Shylock was asked
Why, I am sure… if he forfeit thou
wilt not take his flesh.
What’s that good for (anyway) ?
And SHYLOCK answered
To bait fish
withal. If it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath
disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my
gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine
enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew
hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the
same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is?
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you
poison us, do we not die?
I believe Rav Aharon
stopped his quoting there. But Shylock does continue.
And if you wrong
us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you
in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a
Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be - by Christian example?
Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute—and it shall go hard but
I will better the instruction.
Not a great example
of a Jew – after all, written by Shakespeare. He may be flawed, and certainly
demanding a pound of flesh as collateral for a loan is insane… but is he
entirely wrong in the way he describes how he and other Jews have been treated?
Is his hatred of Antonio baseless? Is it Sinas Chinam? No. But he takes it to a
degree which is unwarranted. Antonio owes the money! So try to find a way to
get him and his friends to repay it. But enough about Shylock.
Is revenge the
proper way? Our parsha speaks of revenge against Midian, but Midian caused the
deaths of 24,000. God declared the revenge should take place!
And what happens if
a Jew wrongs a Jew?
I know families who
have been wronged. One woman – not in this community – wrote an email to me this
year.
“I’m at the point where I just feel like I don’t want to be
part of Orthodoxy in general. I don’t want to be part of this group. I believe
in Gd and the Torah and I want to remain Torah observant, but I don’t want to
be part of any Jewish community. I’m not sure what to do, how to move on and
find my place.”
I would hate to see revenge against
those who have destroyed this family. But what gave those people the right to
hate them and destroy them? SINAS CHINAM. And it is so clear where, if we did
not have level heads, plus live in a civil society, where this could lead.
Come on, Rabbi. No one hates for no reason. There’s always
a reason!
That is true. Sinas Chinam is often translated to mean “baseless”
– but of course there’s always something that triggers it.
But
what makes it Sinas Chinam is that the party that hates has no interest in
moving past the hatred. And it’s not even necessarily because they were
wronged. In some cases they merely look askance at others, judge them and then
hate them.
On the
Talmudic passage, the Maharsha writes:
The
people in the 2nd temple period had Sinas Chinam in their hearts. To
their faces they acted like they were friends. Would even dine together. But in
truth, one side hated the other. Which is worse than having a hatred out in the
open.
He compares this to the difference between
the ganav, the nighttime burgler, and the Gazlan, the day time robber. Halakha
is more strict with the Ganav. Why? Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai explained that the Gazlan fears God
and man equally. He steals in the daytime. But the Ganav fears man more than
God, and so steals at night.
Similarly, the one who hates openly treats
God and man equally. He hates the person, and doesn’t care that he hates God’s
child. The one who hates in secret fears the repercussions of hating in public,
so he fears social impact more than what God really knows to be true.
Your fear of man is greater than your fear
of God? In God’s eyes you are a sinner, worthy of having the Beis Hamikdash
destroyed.
In his Meromei Sadeh, the Netziv describes
Sinas Chinam. He quotes the Tosefta in menachos who blames Sinas Chinam on loving
money more than needed.
Maybe he’s suggesting that Sinas Chinam is
rooted in jealousy?
Jealousy…
But he argues that murder was actually
rampant during Bayis Sheni! Look in Josephus! Look in Gittin 57! Look in Avodah
Zarah 8b!
It wasn’t physical murder. It was
character assassination. Sadducee! Apikores! Fill in any name calling or label
that is attached to hatred of the other!
In the 16th century in Eastern Europe it was “Nadler.”
I gave a class on that subject in June, and would happily give it again for
those who missed it. A fascinatingly sad tale of decades of people destroying
the lives of families in Volhynia
in Eastern Poland, Bohemia, Moravia, Ostrow, which is now in the Czech
Republic, Prague.
Because that happens today. That is what
triggered that email I shared with you earlier. I won’t share all of them. But
here are some. Heretic! Goy! Open Orthodox! Vegan! Meat-eater! Murderer! Anti-vaxxer!
Jew against Jew.
ומשו"ה כשראה את חבירו עובר עבירה,
לא שפט אותו שהוא עשה רק משום תאוה וכדומה, אלא משום שהוא אפיקורס ורשאי ומצוה
להורגו.
What is Sinas Chinam?
It is looking at someone doing something wrong, not being Dan l”kaf zechus, and
jumping to a conclusion that this person is a heretic or a Rodef, and we are
therefore halakhically allowed to kill them. This is SINAS CHINAM, because it
is judgmental without knowing the whole story.
And even if we don’t
actually resort to physically killing someone, there are plenty of things we
can still do to destroy another person. Social ostracization or ostricism.
It is assuming I am
right and the other person is wrong. There are no two ways of seeing things.
Only my way.
So what’s the solution?
Don’t make assumptions.
Talk to them. Ask questions. Learn a story? Don’t judge. Have an open mind and
an open heart. Don’t be holier than thou. Don’t think we know better than God
knows.
For her
bat mitzvah, our daughter read books of incredible Jewish women. My wife
read most of them as well. I read the book about Henny Machlis. An
incredible book. I highly recommend it. "Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup."
She had
the antidote for Sinas Chinam. It was Ahavas Chinam. They had the dregs of
society come through their door. Drug addicts. Homeless people. People with the
worst hygiene and worst health you can imagine.
But
they fed them, they let them sleep on their couch or in their van, and they
hugged them. They saved people. Many people. Some people they tried to save
either died or were killed by the miserable company those individuals kept.
But
Henny Machlis loved them all – always telling her children, you don’t know what
they’ve been through. You don’t know their back story.
So that’s
what we must do. Stop judging. Be champions of Ahavas Chinam. It’s the only
true antidote to Sinas Chinam.
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