Sunday, August 4, 2019

Those who have hatred for another Jew are guilty of Sinas Chinam


This was my sermon the first Shabbos of the Nine Days 5779

Does Sinas Chinam Still Exist? How can we move past it?

          Many of us have an easy time relating to Shabbos. There is more written about Shabbos than we can ever imagine. And our world increasingly recognizes the need to take time off. To take a break from all the noise.

We can also appreciate finding meaning in holidays. The Yamim Noraim are two months away. Those days are extremely important to us.

         But this time of year - The Nine Days leading up to Tisha B’Av… it’s a challenge. This is the topic of this afternoon’s class, “How can we relate to the Nine Days?”

          It’s very difficult to feel the mourning, the aveilus, that we are supposed to feel for the loss of the Beis HaMikdash.

          This morning I want to focus on one component of Churban. Because, sadly, it is very relatable.

          Our rabbis teach us that the 2nd Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam.

          It’s a strange equation. Baseless hatred, therefore destroy the Holy Temple?

          It gets even more complicated when we consider the following passage in the Talmud, Yoma 9b.
אבל מקדש שני, שהיו עוסקין בתורה ובמצות וגמילות חסדים מפני מה חרב? מפני שהיתה בו שנאת חנם. ללמדך ששקולה שנאת חנם כנגד שלש עבירות: עבודה זרה, גלוי עריות, ושפיכות דמים. רשעים היו, אלא שתלו בטחונם בהקדוש ברוך הוא.

          In the time of the second Beis Hamikdash, people were frum! Look what they were good at! Torah, mitzvos, acts of kindness! BUT THEY HATED EACH OTHER.
          THEY COULDN’T STAND EACH OTHER!

          To this the Gemara concludes that Sinas Chinam is a sin on par with the 3 cardinal sins of idolatry, sexual immorality and murder. They were רשעים! the Talmud says. But they had faith in God.

          Nowadays, I would question their faith in God. I would say They were frum! And they believed that their being judgmental of others was justified in the name of what they thought was God.

          But I have sad news. Those who justify their poor treatment of others in the name of what they think is God are actually guilty of at least 2 of the big 3. They murder other people through destroying their lives and reputations.

          They worship an idea of God that is completely foreign, because they view themselves as holier than others, in their own “more pure” version of what they think is Judaism.

          And these people do not deserve a Beis HaMikdash.
תלמוד ירושלמי (וילנא) מסכת יומא פרק א הלכה א
אבל בשני מכירין אנו אותם שהיו יגיעין בתורה וזהירין במצות ובמעשרות וכל ווסת טובה היתה בהן אלא שהיו אוהבין את הממון ושונאין אלו לאלו שנאת חנם
The Yerushalmi adds that “People loved money and hated one another.”

          I will address how we can get rid of Sinas Chinam in a moment. But before that, I have to tell you. In preparation for today two passages from Shakespeare passed through my mind. One is from As You Like It, when the character Jaques gives his “All the World’s a Stage” monologue.  I won’t read the whole thing to you, but it begins

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
WHICH HE GOES ON TO NAME AND DESCRIBE.
·       At first the infant,
·       And then the whining school-boy
·       And then the lover,
·       Then a soldier,
·       And then the justice,
·       The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
·       Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;

I don’t care much for his depiction of the last stage. But “As You Like It” is a comedy, so I’ll take it in stride. Comedy is funnier when people understand it is meant to be humorous.

But the insight in human nature – that everyone has a role to play at different stages of life, each with their exits and entrances – was perhaps Shakespeare’s way of saying, Hey. We are all in this together. We are all part of the human condition. There are stages in life that we all go through, and our job is to worry about ourselves and our own responsibilities and life challenges and stop worrying about how others are going about their responsibilities and challenges.

Should we be concerned for others? Absolutely! That’s what Chesed is! But Chesed is a one way street. When you don’t judge, and you don’t expect anything in return.

Remember, Chesed means I care and I don’t keep score.  It’s not about whether you fit into my picture of reality. It’s about how can I love you and look out for you
  • despite our differences,
  • even though we are different,
  • BECAUSE we are different


Because difference is good. We are not robots.
If and when we churn out robots, we are doing something wrong.  

The second passage that I thought of is from “the Merchant of Venice.” And while Shylock’s obsession with a pound of flesh is the subtext of much of the play, the first time I was exposed to the profundity of his most famous speech was in an article one of my teachers in high school shared, that had been written by Rabbi Aharon Soloveichik, who quoted the entire speech. I probably have the article in a file somewhere, I can’t find it. But the title I remember – “Et tu, Jewish leaders?” It was a critique of Jewish leadership who were requiring a conformity that Judaism does NOT require, which was bringing about a critique of the Jewish people which was unsubstantiated. Beyond that, I don’t remember the details.

And so Rav Aharon quoted Shylock.

Shylock was asked
Why, I am sure… if he forfeit thou wilt not take his flesh.
What’s that good for (anyway) ?

And SHYLOCK answered
To bait fish withal. If it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?

I believe Rav Aharon stopped his quoting there. But Shylock does continue.

And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be - by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute—and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.

Not a great example of a Jew – after all, written by Shakespeare. He may be flawed, and certainly demanding a pound of flesh as collateral for a loan is insane… but is he entirely wrong in the way he describes how he and other Jews have been treated? Is his hatred of Antonio baseless? Is it Sinas Chinam? No. But he takes it to a degree which is unwarranted. Antonio owes the money! So try to find a way to get him and his friends to repay it. But enough about Shylock.

Is revenge the proper way? Our parsha speaks of revenge against Midian, but Midian caused the deaths of 24,000. God declared the revenge should take place!

And what happens if a Jew wrongs a Jew?

I know families who have been wronged. One woman – not in this community – wrote an email to me this year.

I’m at the point where I just feel like I don’t want to be part of Orthodoxy in general. I don’t want to be part of this group. I believe in Gd and the Torah and I want to remain Torah observant, but I don’t want to be part of any Jewish community. I’m not sure what to do, how to move on and find my place.
          I would hate to see revenge against those who have destroyed this family. But what gave those people the right to hate them and destroy them? SINAS CHINAM. And it is so clear where, if we did not have level heads, plus live in a civil society, where this could lead.

             Come on, Rabbi. No one hates for no reason. There’s always a reason!

             That is true. Sinas Chinam is often translated to mean “baseless” – but of course there’s always something that triggers it.

          But what makes it Sinas Chinam is that the party that hates has no interest in moving past the hatred. And it’s not even necessarily because they were wronged. In some cases they merely look askance at others, judge them and then hate them.

          On the Talmudic passage, the Maharsha writes:
          The people in the 2nd temple period had Sinas Chinam in their hearts. To their faces they acted like they were friends. Would even dine together. But in truth, one side hated the other. Which is worse than having a hatred out in the open.

He compares this to the difference between the ganav, the nighttime burgler, and the Gazlan, the day time robber. Halakha is more strict with the Ganav. Why? Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai explained that the Gazlan fears God and man equally. He steals in the daytime. But the Ganav fears man more than God, and so steals at night.

Similarly, the one who hates openly treats God and man equally. He hates the person, and doesn’t care that he hates God’s child. The one who hates in secret fears the repercussions of hating in public, so he fears social impact more than what God really knows to be true.

Your fear of man is greater than your fear of God? In God’s eyes you are a sinner, worthy of having the Beis Hamikdash destroyed.

In his Meromei Sadeh, the Netziv describes Sinas Chinam. He quotes the Tosefta in menachos who blames Sinas Chinam on loving money more than needed.

Maybe he’s suggesting that Sinas Chinam is rooted in jealousy?
Jealousy…


But he argues that murder was actually rampant during Bayis Sheni! Look in Josephus! Look in Gittin 57! Look in Avodah Zarah 8b!

It wasn’t physical murder. It was character assassination. Sadducee! Apikores! Fill in any name calling or label that is attached to hatred of the other!

        In the 16th century in Eastern Europe it was “Nadler.” I gave a class on that subject in June, and would happily give it again for those who missed it. A fascinatingly sad tale of decades of people destroying the lives of families in Volhynia in Eastern Poland, Bohemia, Moravia, Ostrow, which is now in the Czech Republic,  Prague.

Because that happens today. That is what triggered that email I shared with you earlier. I won’t share all of them. But here are some. Heretic! Goy! Open Orthodox! Vegan! Meat-eater! Murderer! Anti-vaxxer!

Jew against Jew.

ומשו"ה כשראה את חבירו עובר עבירה, לא שפט אותו שהוא עשה רק משום תאוה וכדומה, אלא משום שהוא אפיקורס ורשאי ומצוה להורגו.

What is Sinas Chinam? It is looking at someone doing something wrong, not being Dan l”kaf zechus, and jumping to a conclusion that this person is a heretic or a Rodef, and we are therefore halakhically allowed to kill them. This is SINAS CHINAM, because it is judgmental without knowing the whole story.

And even if we don’t actually resort to physically killing someone, there are plenty of things we can still do to destroy another person. Social ostracization or ostricism.

It is assuming I am right and the other person is wrong. There are no two ways of seeing things. Only my way.

So what’s the solution?

Don’t make assumptions. Talk to them. Ask questions. Learn a story? Don’t judge. Have an open mind and an open heart. Don’t be holier than thou. Don’t think we know better than God knows.

          For her bat mitzvah, our daughter read books of incredible Jewish women. My wife read most of them as well. I read the book about Henny Machlis.  An incredible book. I highly recommend it. "Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup."

          She had the antidote for Sinas Chinam. It was Ahavas Chinam. They had the dregs of society come through their door. Drug addicts. Homeless people. People with the worst hygiene and worst health you can imagine.

          But they fed them, they let them sleep on their couch or in their van, and they hugged them. They saved people. Many people. Some people they tried to save either died or were killed by the miserable company those individuals kept.

          But Henny Machlis loved them all – always telling her children, you don’t know what they’ve been through. You don’t know their back story.

          So that’s what we must do. Stop judging. Be champions of Ahavas Chinam. It’s the only true antidote to Sinas Chinam.

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