How Aharon and Elisheva Lived With Loss

Parshat Shmini

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The first narrative in the book of Vayikra describes the 8th day of the dedication of the Mishkan, culminating with the deaths of Nadav and Avihu and the aftermath of that tragedy.

Aharon’s reaction of silence is well known. How did their mother respond to their untimely demise? The Talmud (Zevachim 102a) tells us that on the day of the inauguration of the Mishkan Elisheva had 5 things that she could rejoice over, and 1 thing which was a cause of mourning. Her brother in law was the king, her husband was the High Priest, her son was the assistant to the High Priest, her grandson was a Kohen anointed for war, and her brother, Nachshon ben Aminadav, was the Prince of a tribe. Her mourning was because her two sons died.

This narrative is presented in countless Midrashim, in slightly different formats as well, some of which focus on the question of Koheles of what is Simcha worth if people die anyway? Or on the verse in Tehillim, that “Israel will rejoice with its Maker,” at the right time. Elisheva was rejoicing over all her good fortune, that she didn’t see what was coming. (Pesikta D’rav Kahana).

The Midrash Tanchuma gives case after case of Biblical heroes who had a chance to celebrate their good fortune, but starting with Adam and continuing with Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Yehoshua, Eili (the High Priest), they either sinned or otherwise suffered through difficulties in the rearing of their children. In Yehoshua’s case, he died childless.

There is a troubling Midrash (38:7) on Parshat Tetzaveh. Weaving together a number of verses, it says that when Aharon was to atone for God’s holy ones (Israel), he was told to take 1 bull, and 2 rams (Shmot 29:1). The Midrash identifies the bull as Aharon and the two rams as his sons Elazar and Itamar, thereby suggesting that Aharon was getting the hint that only two of his sons were destined to serve and that two were actually slated to die.

What does this mean? If that were the case, spare him the pain, and allow him to just have two sons! And the answer is that part of what made Aharon into who he became was this loss.

And we can say the same thing for Yehuda, who lost two sons. To David, who lost 4 children in his lifetime.

Many years ago I read an essay entitled “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley to try to explain what life as a parent to a child with a disability is like. She compares it to intending to go on a trip to Italy, which ends with the flight attendant welcoming you to Holland. Her point being it’s a journey – not what you expected – but Holland has its fine points as well.

In looking for it, I found another essay (thank you “Google!”) written by a woman named Zita Dulock who hates “Welcome to Holland,” who essentially argues that actually everyone ends up in Italy. Because parenthood (= Italy) is what everyone who has a child signed up for. “But we're all having very different vacations, because we're very different people, raising very different children. Is my experience what I thought it would be? Nope- it sure isn't.”

“But neither is life with my neurotypical daughter. And neither is life with my husband. And neither is my life, in and of itself.”

Her version of the essay is more like this: Welcome to Italy! Despite all your prep and plans, you can’t find your hotel, you realize you needed to know Italian much better, you lost your luggage, it rained the whole time. Some found an incredible bed and breakfast, some discovered Italy through museums rather than sites. Some spent the whole time not leaving their hotel.

“The truth is, this trip is nothing like what you planned it to be...even if everything goes exactly as planned! Because you can't predict how something will feel. You can't predict how something will smell. You can't predict what will captivate you, or terrify you. All you can do learn as much as you can, before you leave and when you land, and focus on being adaptable and flexible.

“Whether or not you enjoy the trip is entirely up to you.”

That, of course, is about disabilities. But I think there is wisdom in it which can apply to the case of loss.

The Torah paints Nadav and Avihu in a very positive light in Parshas Acharei Mot, that as they were getting very close to God they died. That doesn’t take away from their parents’ pain. But what a tribute to Nadav and Avihu! And shouldn’t that tribute be a source of some comfort to their parents?

I have found some parents who have suffered loss, whether to illness, car accidents, terror, SIDS, or other tragedies, (thousands of parents in Israel have buried their IDF-sons) to be extremely inspirational. Whether they have the strength to realize what their role has become (what Italy has turned into), or whether they have worked through a tragedy with therapy to come to terms with how to move on. They don’t want anyone to suffer as they have. But their drive to live has motivated thousands upon thousands of others.

I wonder if Aharon became famous as an Ohev Shalom V’Rodef Shalom (lover and pursuer of peace) after the deaths of his sons (as opposed to before). Because if it was after their deaths, then he took his tragedy as a charge to remind people that life is much bigger than fighting with someone over something which might be – in the larger scheme of things – rather trivial.

Those who went through the Holocaust to build families are more than inspiring. Their strength and tenacity is legendary.

The people of Israel who have lost sons and daughters in the IDF and to terror have shown a resilience when they go from tragedy to joy. With all the trauma, with all the therapy, with all the emotional support needed to help them get there.

Elisheva learned that when there is joy, there will be joy. Sometimes a lot of it. But she also came to learn that sometimes there will be sadness. But that sadness, like the unknown trip to Italy, is what helps us become who we become.

When the sadness comes, we need community to bring us back to reality, and then we need the rest of our lives to figure out what we do with that hole in our hearts. And how we can infuse our lives and our circles with Kedusha.

Rabbi Soloveitchik lost his wife, mother and brother in the same year. He wrote mounds and mounds of essays (some posthumously) about suffering and navigating the curveballs life throws our way. Those who find the gift of life worth continuing to live will find that whether you think you’re in Holland or just a very different trip in Italy, it is the fundamental meaning and profound connections that we make and find in life that help us become the people we ultimately become.

If one could take an inoculation to never experience pain or suffering, would we take it? Considering that it would necessarily have to destroy all kinds of emotion, consider the side effects! It’s not for me to say – it’s for everyone to decide – but I can’t imagine too many people would choose to have never loved than to have loved and lost. .

Like Aharon and Elisheva, a community feels your pain. Like Aharon and Elisheva, we hope your tragedy will not destroy you, but will turn you into an inspiration.

Doing Purim Right (How to Avoid the Many Mistakes We Make)

The ways we do Purim incorrectly - and how to fix them! 

by Rabbi Avi Billet

 Mikra Megillah 

While there are many halakhot related to the actual Megillah scroll, and how best to fulfill one’s obligation, easily the most important rule associated with the Megillah reading is to hear every word. This is an obligation on all men and women, following the dictum mentioned in the Talmud in several places that אף הן היו באותו הנס. In fact, the halakha highly recommends the Megillah to be read in the presence of 10 people, but in a fit of deviation from the norm, the requirement of 10 is not for a “minyan” purpose, but rather for a “pirsumei nisa” (publicizing the miracle) purpose, which opens the door to the possibility that the ten people could be a mix of men and women. (690:18)  This is not to downgrade the preference of reading/hearing the Megillah in the presence of a minyan - that is ideal. But when circumstances are different, halakha shares the above perspective.

The obligation for children who have reached the age of Chinukh (education/understanding) to hear the Megillah is also codified in the Shulchan Arukh.

The customs surrounding which verses are said aloud by the congregation, which words are said in one breath, and which words need to be adjusted/repeated are interesting, but “every place should follow its custom.” (690)

Where things get dicey is in the realm of the making noise at Haman’s name, a practice lamented by the Mishneh Brurah (689:17-18), and even questioned by Ram’a, even as the latter notes that customs are important and shouldn’t be questioned. (690:17)

Mishneh Brurah (690:59) notes some Rishonim and Acharonim who had different personal customs and practices surrounding their own reactions to Haman’s name during the reading. He notes how the Pri Megadim felt that whatever merit was gained in denouncing Haman’s name was overshadowed by their not hearing every word of the Megillah.

In 689:18, the Mishneh Brurah writes the following:

משנה ברורה סימן תרפט ס"ק יח

 ועכשיו בעו"ה נהפוך הוא שלבד שאינם שומעים אלא הם מבלבלים שגם הגדולים אינם יכולים לשמוע וכל ביאתם הוא רק להכות את המן ובזה אין האב מקיים מצות חינוך כלל ובאמת מצד מצות חינוך צריך כל אב להחזיק בניו הקטנים אצלו ולהשגיח עליהם שישמעו הקריאה וכשיגיע הקורא לזכור שם המן האגגי רשאי הקטן להכותו כמנהגו אבל לא שיהיה זה עיקר הבאת הקטן לביה"מ: 

“And now, in our many sins, things have been switched completely. Not only do (the children) not listen (to the Megillah), but they disturb the older people (those over bar mitzvah) who can not hear. Their entire purpose in coming seems to be to make noise at Haman, which negates the father’s fulfilling any mitzvah of education. For “Chinukh” purposes, every parent should be holding his minor children, assuring that they hear the reading and don’t make the noisemaking the main reason for their coming to the house of study.”

This is why the “Quiet Megillah reading” has been gaining traction in many communities. People want to go back to the way it’s supposed to be – hearing every word of the Megillah without distraction.

And while the Mishneh Brurah’s lament is real (and ignored), we should make every effort to make Mikra Megillah about hearing the Megillah and not about making noise at Haman’s name. Overkill does not translate to doing it better or right.

Matanot La’Evyonim 

What is the difference between an עני and an אביון? In simple terms, an עני is a poor person, to whom we are obligated to help out as often as we can. We do this with our designated “ma’aser monies” throughout the year. An אביון is someone who is needy – in a particular moment in time. We help this person at that moment in time. People, for example, who have a weekly budget for Shabbos, but not for Purim, might be considered אביון, needy of support on Purim day.

An עני is not typically obligated to give to other poor people, for he does not have the requisite funds to do so. But he is nevertheless obligated on Purim to give to an אביון. (Ta”z, Mishnah Brurah, Olat Shabbat - 694:1)

Matanot La’Evyonim, more than anything, is meant to address immediate Purim needs. The abundance of people collecting money for other needs, or for organizations and yeshivas, is more than likely a distortion of the concept of “כל הפושט יד” – that anyone who extends a hand asking for funds is to be given a handout on Purim.

The following is recorded in the Shaarei Teshuva in his commentary on the Shulchan Arukh’s requirement to “give at least two gifts to two poor people.”

בא"ר בשם הרמב"ם טוב להרבות במתנות לאביונים מלהרבות בסעודתו ומשלוח מנות לרעים

“In the Eliyahu Rabba, in the name of the Rambam (he writes) that is good (better) to increase one’s gifts to the needy than to increase one’s meal and one’s mishloach manot.”

It’s a very simple equation: Spend more, much more, in one’s outlay for the needy than on one’s personal needs and on one’s friends who receive the Mishloach Manot.

Mishloach Manot 

שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות מגילה ופורים סימן תרצה
 * חייב (יח) לשלוח לחבירו (יט) יא שתי מנות [ז] ג) בשר * או של (כ) <ד> מיני אוכלים, שנאמר: ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו (אסתר ט, יט ו - כב) יב שתי מנות לאיש אחד. וכל המרבה לשלוח לריעים משובח; ואם אין לו, <ה> מחליף עם חבירו, (כא) זה שולח לזה סעודתו, וזה שולח לזה סעודתו, כדי לקיים: ומשלוח מנות איש לרעהו 

“A person should send to one’s friend two portions of meat or other foods, as it says ‘the sending of portionS’ (in plural), which means two portions to one person. Those who increase in their giving to others… this is praiseworthy. If one doesn’t have (a lot of food? A lot of friends?) one can trade with one’s friend, each sends the other a meal (for Purim).” (695:4)

Mishneh Brurah (18) there says that if one is sending to a wealthy person, to one individual is sufficient. If one is sending to the poor, one should send Mishloach Manot to at least two poor people.
Mishneh Brurah (20) also extrapolates that the idea of two portions of meat or other foods translates to the food being cooked and ready to be eaten as a meal. A drink could be included. Some say that sending a raw food item that is ready to be cooked (such as a burger patty that can be grilled relatively quickly – my example) is sufficient as well.

Mordechai and Esther did not designate this time period as a time when people look at the Mishloach Manot they receive, and give, as an opportunity to decide “who are my friends” and “who are not my friends”; “who snubbed me” and “who will I snub”; “how creative, fancy, glitzy, and how much money can I spend to impress people?” or “how much garbage packaged candy can I send to people?”; "Am I obligated to reciprocate to everyone who extends something to me?" (No. You are not. A kind word, a hearty thank you, Purim cheer are more than adequate responses.) Mishloach Manot was set up to be a way of giving a meal to someone else on Purim, in an effort to create or at the very least help foster a caring community. 

In simple terms, if the Mishloach Manot we give are not a real meal, we are wasting our time, money, effort, and mitzvah! And if we turn it into a numbers game and a competition, we are completely missing the point.

Mishteh – Seudat Purim 

שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות מגילה ופורים סימן תרצה
 * <א> חייב אינש לבסומי בפוריא * א) עד דלא ידע (ד) בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי. הגה: <ב> וי"א דא"צ להשתכר כל כך, ג אלא שישתה יותר מלימודו (כל בו) (ה) [ב] וישן, ומתוך שישן אינו יודע בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי. (מהרי"ל). ואחד המרבה ואחד הממעיט, ובלבד שיכוין לבו לשמים. ...טוב לעסוק {ב} מעט בתורה קודם שיתחיל הסעודה, וסמך לדבר: ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה (אסתר ח, טז) ודרשינן: אורה, זו תורה (מהרי"ב). 

This passage, from 695:2 shows us what a Purim Seudah is supposed to look like. Of course the meaning of the phrase from the Talmud “חייב אינש לבסומי בפוריא עד דלא ידע בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי” is heavily disputed, from an absolute obligation to get plastered/drunk on Purim to a need to have Simcha. (The interpretation I love the most is “one is obligated to get drunk with Purim” – in other words that one should soak in all of Purim’s messages and have it define one’s day. This has nothing to do with imbibing wine).

In general, getting drunk is a practice frowned upon in Judaism. Ramban includes it in his examples of being נבל ברשות התורה, acting poorly with the Torah’s permission (because the Torah never prohibits drinking). Any biblical example of someone getting drunk (Noach, Lot, etc.) is never a good one.

The Rama says whether one gets drunk or not, imbibes more or less, it should ONLY be done for the sake of heaven.

Also, it is important to study Torah before beginning the meal. The Jews had light (Ora) and joy (Simcha). Light = Torah, the Talmud teaches us. So we have to remember our roots before we enjoy the Purim meal.

Much has been written, tweeted, blogged, spoken, about the irresponsible behaviors of some adults, many yeshiva students, and many high school students (who are underage) who overindulge in alcoholic beverages on Purim. There is simply no excuse for this in any context other than responsible drinking at a Purim meal, in a manner that leads one to perhaps fall asleep at the table or on a couch or bed (the other meaning of the Aramaic word פוריא)

Certainly getting into cars, or chas v’shalom behind the wheel (!) after having alcohol is not only a terrible Chillul Hashem but is extremely dangerous! Vomiting in your house or in someone else’s house is a Chillul Hashem. Being brought to the emergency room on account of behavior that was entirely preventable is a Chillul Hashem.

Let us remember what Mordechai and Esther had in mind. Joy over being saved. Thanks to Hashem for the salvation. A celebration of Torah and community. This is what Purim should be about.

Anything else is simply a distortion.

Costumes 

Some people call me the Grinch that stole Purim.

copyright Dr. Seuss

But I did not make this up. Here is the Ram’a, 696:8:

שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות מגילה ופורים סימן תרצו
 ומה שנהגו ללבוש פרצופים בפורים, וגבר לובש שמלת אשה ואשה כלי גבר, אין איסור בדבר מאחר שאין מכוונין אלא לשמחה בעלמא; ו) {ג} וכן בלבישת כלאים דרבנן. וי"א דאסור, <ה> אבל המנהג כסברא (ל) הראשונה. וכן בני אדם החוטפים זה מזה דרך שמחה, אין בזה (לא) משום לא תגזול (ויקרא יט, יג) (לב) ונהגו כך, ובלבד שלא יעשו דבר שלא כהוגן על פי טובי העיר (תשובת מהר"י מינץ סימן י"ז /ט"ו/). 

“Regarding the practice people have of wearing masks on Purim. And a man wears drag and a woman (wears) men’s articles… there is no prohibition as they are only intending to have joy (i.e. be silly). And the same holds true regarding Rabbinically prohibited mixtures in clothes*. But there are those who forbid it. Nevertheless the custom is like the first view… The main thing is that people should not do things that are not approved by the leaders of the city.”

* many take issue with this exception of the Ram’a regarding “kilayim”

Perhaps more correctly, one might consider following this comment of the Ram’a, brought down in the name of Mahari’l (695:2):

שולחן ערוך אורח חיים הלכות מגילה ופורים סימן תרצה
 יש שנהגו ללבוש בגדי שבת וי"ט בפורים, וכן נכון (מהרי"ל) 

“There are those who have the custom to wear Shabbos and Yom Tov clothes on Purim, and this is a correct practice.”

Conclusion 

Purim has come to symbolize a joyous time, a time of celebrating triumph over enemies, and a time to reflect on our commitment to Torah, God, and one another.

It has also become a time in which certain elements of silly behavior is given a thumbs up.

So I won’t come down too hard on costumes or themed Mishloach Manot.

But let us remember that many families throw out a lot of the candy they are given. So putting people in a situation in which they will violate “Bal Tashchis” is a violation of “Lifnei Iver.”

Giving chametz that people can’t possibly consume in advance of Pesach puts people in a difficult situation as well – see previous paragraph.

Purim is a fun day, but it is really supposed to be a meaningful day. For some people, all the driving around and all the hectic takes away from the real ability to soak Purim in, to get drunk on the concept of Purim, to delight in God, to delight in the Rabbinic holiday that requires both a Yom Tov meal and Yom Tov clothes, and really reminds us how important our community is, and to recommit ourselves (as the Talmud says) to Torah during this time period.

May we be zocheh (merit) to do Purim right, to avoid waste, excess, Chillul Hashem, and instead celebrate the holiday as it is meant to be celebrated. Give to others. Delight in one another. Extend a hand to someone we don’t know, whether the person is needy financially or needy of a friend.

And we should be blessed to once again see darkness turned to light as the new enemies of the Jewish people meet the same end as their historical ancestors.

God Accepts All Offerings

Parshat Tzav

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Towards the beginning of Tzav we find a depiction of the general Korban Mincha (“meal offering”) and a similar personal offering brought by the High Priest, Aharon.

Both of these “korbanot” are perfect examples of why the word “korban” is best translated as “offering” (as opposed to “sacrifice”) because there is no animal involved, no slaughtering involved, no blood involved, no taking of animal life involved. Furthermore the Hebrew verb-root “KRV” cannot be translated to mean “sacrifice” as it is used a number of times in chapter 8 to describe how “Moshe brought Aharon and his sons close.” This depiction closely follows a very common translation of KRV, which means “close” (as in ‘come closer’ as opposed to ‘close the door’).

The simple explanation for all of this is that korbanot are a means of expressing ourselves in the lifelong goal of building a relationship with God. While a korban sometimes translates to the death of an animal, the general idea is that the offering – whatever it may be – is meant to give us a leg up in our continued effort to get closer to God.

This is why when we watch Moshe “bring Aharon and his sons close” and we see the very same verb as the verb used to describe how korbanot are brought utilized to depict how Moshe readies his brother and nephews for their task through bringing them close to God, we understand Moshe is not sacrificing them as an offering. “Vayakrev” simply means “he brought them close.”

This definition of bringing them close is utilized by Rashi, Rabbenu Bachaye and others, and simply demonstrates that the concept of a “sacrifice” is foreign to Judaism in all forms. We don’t sacrifice things, we give offerings. And we bring offerings to get closer and closer to God.

Not living in a time when the Korban-ritual is active or in line with our cultural sensibilities, it is sometimes hard to relate to the concept of a Korban, or what it means to bring a Korban.

But is it?

Read through chapter 8 of Vayikra, and we find Moshe essentially bringing his brother and his nephews as Korbanot through a simple ritual in which he washed them, dressed them in their priestly garb, and anointed each of them with oil. So that they could serve God and represent the people in doing so.

And so I think that it’s not far fetched to suggest that the korban culture does not have to be a relic of the past. Just like the Korban Mincha which did not include an animal and was largely eaten by the Kohanim following certain menu rules, and just as “Vayakrev Moshe” (Moshe brought close) his brother and nephews through readying them to serve God, the idea of getting closer to God can be alive and well even without a Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple).

It just depends on what we value and how much we are willing to give as an offering.

Avraham Avinu was willing to offer his son because God instructed him to. That story has been analyzed by many thousands of scholars over millennia – suffice it to say for now that God does not want (and never wanted) human sacrifice.

But nowadays people do give of their most precious possessions for God. Many people live, at great expense, in the community they feel is best for their family. Many people, at great expense, enroll their children in yeshivas and day schools and Jewish summer camps, so their children can have a Jewish education parents are not necessarily equipped to provide or supplement at home.

Many people, at great expense, enhance their Shabbos table and their Yom Tov table with delicious food and wine, to make every Shabbos and every holiday special, all in the name of honoring God.

[God bless those who spend between $50,000-$100,000 to have their family together in a hotel for Pesach. This is a luxury not required by any Jewish law. And for those who take out a second mortgage on their house in order to do this, I don’t know what to say.]

 We are at a time in the year when schools (especially high schools) send out their acceptance letters for the coming year. The criteria for acceptance in some schools, in some cases, seems arbitrary, and the fact that some children are not accepted to any school is a shameful stain on a community that is supposed to value Jewish education. The offerings of these families are not being rejected by God. They are being rejected by Jewish educators.

There is another tragic reality facing many hundreds of families. For reasons beyond the scope of this dvar Torah, they do not want to sacrifice their children in the name of something they don’t believe in. But they do want their children to have a Jewish education. They and their children have been maligned and ostracized, and their offerings to have their children come close to God through a Jewish education (and in some cases their being welcome in shul!) is also being rejected by large segments of our community.

I am pretty confident God wouldn’t throw Jews out of the Jewish community. God accepts all offerings that bring His adherents closer to Him. We should too.

Remembering Amalek - Why should we?

Parshat Zachor

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Parshat Zachor has a little bit of a cultish following. People who are not necessarily strict to hear Torah reading in general run to shul to hear Parshat Zachor. Many synagogues have multiple readings to make sure everyone has a chance to hear it.

Why?

Certainly there’s an element of an opportunity that comes up once a year. But before Zachor was set to be the Shabbos before Purim (for example, before Purim existed), Zachor could have likely been fulfilled any time of year.

The Slonimer Rebbe asked a few questions about Zachor.

1. The mitzvah is dependent on Israel having gotten past fighting against their enemies –Why? Why not destroy them at the first opportunity? 
2. Why destroy their descendants, if we can’t identify them, and perhaps they don’t identify with the ways of their ancestors? 
3. Why Amalek specifically? There are so many nations that were bad to Israel – some far worse than Amalek! 
4. What strength and power does Amalek possess, that their presence on earth prevents God from being complete in this world? Is that even possible? 
5. Why is it an all out war – men, women, children, animals? Is this necessary? 
6. Why is the war against them generational? Can’t they be destroyed, and then it’s over? Why the perpetual battle? Why does it never end? 
7. In B’shalach we learned that Yehoshua weakened them. He had the chance! Why didn’t he destroy them at that time? Get it over with! 

The Slonimer Rebbe explains the reason why the war with Amalek is forever, why we need to remember, and perhaps we can take from there why we go crazy to be sure to hear the reading. We should also be seeking to understand how it is supposed to impact our lives all the time.

Firstly, he notes that the battle with Amalek is not a physical battle.

Amalek is the “dark side” (sitra achra) and is representative of the spiritual battle every Jew faces every day of the year (until the Messiah comes).

Amalek is representative of the idea that people have free choice. There is the path of goodness, and there is the path of evil.

Amalek is an ideology, or even just an idea, that stands on an eternal battleground against goodness. After the splitting of the sea, Israel were ready to bring the world to where it needed to be. But Amalek came and threw them for a loop, and things were pushed off. Then they were at Sinai, and they could have done it again. But then they worshiped the Golden Calf further delaying this opportunity. In fact, the Slonimer Rebbe blames the event of the Golden Calf on Amalek, on account of the damage they did to the trajectory of the people.

Yehoshua weakening Amalek represents weakening the negative shell that Amalek represents, but not eradicating it.

Every sin a Jew commits strengthens the negative force that is represented by Amalek. Amalek was successful in whatever manner they were in the battle against Yehoshua, because they fought against Israel at Refidim, the place described by the rabbis as the place where “Rafu yedeihem” - the people removed their hands from their commitment to the Torah.

BilaAM (בלעם) and BaLAK (בלק) also represented Amalek, which is embedded in the combining of the last two letters of both their names. Amalek had the ability to hide their power of destruction in their animals, which is why their animals needed to be destroyed as well.

The same was true during the time of Mordechai, when the Jews were slated to return to the Holy Land to build the Temple, and Haman’s evil designs threw those plans for a loop.

And the same is true in every generation, when God wants us to arrive at that Messianic Era, and we are so close to getting there. It is the evil of Amalek which overpowers, which gets in the way, which raises its ugly head and stops us from achieving our goal. It is an ideology in individuals and in certain hate groups that prey on the weak, as Amalek did, that froth at the mouth at the idea of destroying others, that wish for the world to be in chaos and for the Jews to be in turmoil. That is Amalek. And, as we all know, Amalek is alive and well in our world.

“When God gives you rest from all of your enemies” is when you have to wipe out the memory of Amalek. The enemies may be physical, but they are also your spiritual enemies, including those who want the Jewish soul destroyed, the Jewish soul converted. It is hard to eradicate such an enemy. It remains a thorn in our side.

The Slonimer Rebbe also notes that the instruction to remember Amalek is written in the singular because it is every person’s battle. It is a spiritual battle against evil, that every time we give in to temptation, every time we lose a personal battle and sin, we are giving a victory to Amalek. Amalek started its national aim against Israel right as the Israelites left Egypt. All it wants to do is make problems for us, and Amalek is very capable of knocking us down again.

Moshe is the ultimate symbol of defeating Amalek. And Moshe is also a symbol for accepting the Torah – as he is the Ultimate Master and Teacher.

Purim is also about accepting the Torah and defeating Amalek.

The way we can, in a very practical sense, “remember what Amalek did” is through making a conscious effort to fight what Amalek represented through choosing to fit the Torah into our lives first. Amalek embodied evil, preying on the weak, taking the focus away from getting closer to God with distractions we didn’t need, including a physical confrontation on the battlefield, and an ideology that says God is irrelevant.

This battle faces us every day. So we must take the responsibility to remember who we are, and how we are to defeat Amalek day in and day out, and especially with the coming of Purim. Amalek attacked each person in the singular “what Amalek did l’kha – to you” to remind each of us to make the commitment to do what I can to eradicate the distraction of Amalek from my own experience, and the snapshot of the world on which I can have an impact.

Talents Vary - Some Are God-Given, Some Are Learned

Parshat Eileh Fekudei

by Rabbi Avi Billet

 This past Shabbos, someone asked me, “How many people were involved in making the items for the Mishkan?”

My answer: “We have no idea.” We are only told the names of two people, Betzalel and Ohaliav, and beyond them we are informed of many men and women who volunteered their resources, talents and time to the production of the Mishkan’s items.

But even in the realm of Betzalel and Ohaliav, we are given strange information which counters what was my actual assumption, which has always been that Betzalel was the foreman, and Ohaliav was either his equal partner or his right-hand man.

As the Torah begins our parsha with a preliminary accounting of all that was brought in, it mentions that “Betzalel son of Uri son of Chur, of the tribe of Judah, [used these materials] to make all that God had commanded Moses. With him was Oholiav son of Achisamakh, of the tribe of Dan, who was a skilled carpenter, and [was also expert in] brocading and embroidering with sky-blue, dark red and crimson wool, and fine linen.”

Does this mean that Betzalel was a jack-of-all-trades while Ohaliav was merely a master-of-some?

Bal Haturim and Netziv both point to Betzalel and Ohaliav as auditors, making sure that all the donations were accounted for and utilized properly for the necessary items to which they were designated.

This role is different than the role of accountant, the role taken up by Itamar and the Levites (as notes in 38:21) under the overall supervision of Moshe.

Abravanel notes that the three roles described – Moshe as “donation collector,” Itamar and co. as accountants, and Betzalel and Ohaliav as auditors, were all essential to the process. On top of these roles, Betzalel and Ohaliav were also able to discern how to designate and apportion the materials they processed.

So our question is not adequately addressed. How much of a difference was there in the skillset of the Betzalel vs that of Ohaliav? Ibn Ezra on 38:22 essentially equates their abilities in saying they were the top-tier, who did all that Moshe had been commanded. Rashi suggests Betzalel had a very special thing going for him in that he was even able to discern that which Moshe was told on the mountain, including things he inadvertently neglected to tell Betzalel (see also Ramban, Chzikuni, Rabbenu Bachaye, etc.)

Interestingly, Rabbenu Bachaye notes that despite all the skills he may have had, the only item Betzalel made personally was the Aron (Ark) (based on 37:1).

I believe all of this information, in the final analysis, is more of an exercise in futility, because it doesn’t really matter who was more involved or less involved, who was more skilled or who was less skilled. The point is that the job got done, and that these two artisans – of the tribe of Yehuda and of the tribe of Dan – are given just about equal billing throughout the process.

In the end, it does not matter. Their job was to see that the Mishkan’s vessels, walls, covers and Kohen-clothes were created. They had to oversee a lot of people, be ready to advise, to answer questions, and make sure that everyone had what they needed to check off the supply-inventory list item by item, and to fashion the vessels etc on the “made in the midbar” inventory list of the Mishkan.

Or HaChaim says at the beginning of Vayakhel that one of Betzalel’s jobs was to create the necessary tools for the various forms of labor needed to create the Mishkan’s vessels, and that skill – creating new tools – was unique to Betzalel.

All of this reflects a reality that we all know. Everyone is blessed with a different skill-set. Some people can excel at new skills, some are blessed to have incredible hands or incredible coordination, and some can work with numbers like no one else can.

I do not think it is advisable for parents to ever say to a child, “You’re the artistic one in the family” or “You’re the musical one in the family” or “You’re the doctor in the family.” Why limit a child, or an adult-child through putting them in a box?

At the same time, there is what to be said about knowing where our talents are and bringing them out in full force in our contributions to larger efforts. Some people have no money to speak of, but are great at getting those with excess to donate to the right causes. Some people can’t read a blueprint but have an intuitive sense of carpentry. Some people can fashion gold, others can fix cars. Everyone has something that is of value and benefit. Parents have the awesome and noble responsibility to support their children’s best talents, and when possible, to help guide them in a direction in which those talents can be utilized in a professional arena where it can be beneficial to the individual in helping to give and get the most out of life – both in (and not limited to) terms of personal satisfaction and monetization for the purposes of supporting oneself, and when so blessed, one’s family as well.

Betzalel and Ohaliav were a dynamic duo – bringing certain shared strengths to the table, but also each bringing a particular skill-set that elevated their partnership into one that was able to see the Mishkan-project to its completion.