Parshat Va'Etchanan
by Rabbi Avi Billet
In Shmot 19:12, in anticipation of Revelation, Moshe told the people, “'Set a boundary for the people around [the mountain], and tell them to be careful not to climb the mountain, or [even] to touch its edge. Anyone touching the mountain will be put to death.” A few verses later, after Moshe himself was given further instruction, the following exchange takes place. “Moses replied to God, 'The people cannot climb Mount Sinai. You already warned them to set a boundary around the mountain and to declare it sacred.' God said to him, 'Go down. You can then come [back] up along with Aaron. But the priests and the [other] people must not violate the boundary to go up to the Divine; if they do, He will send destruction among them.' Moses went down to the people and conveyed this to them.”
While we certainly know Moshe was on the mountain after Revelation for 40 days, it is interesting to note that the Torah is unclear on where he was during the actual Revelation.
And the people – where are they? It seems that the closest they are is the bottom of the mountain, as they are unable to ascend the mountain in any way.
And yet, in our parsha, Moshe indicates “I stood between you and God at that time, to tell you God's words, since you were afraid of the fire, and did not go up on the mountain” (Devarim 5:5), implying that it was only the fire which prevented them from going up the mountain, but that they otherwise could have gone up.
But didn’t we just read that they were not allowed? And where was Moshe? If Moshe is between God and the people, there is a clear possibility that he is not on the mountain at all!
As for the people, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch explains Moshe’s words as saying “You (the people) did not dare to approach the mountain to hear the utterance of the Decalogue” – implying that they could have dared, but they didn’t.
Now, it is possible that the reading is different. For example, Chizkuni and Rabbenu Bachaye read it as if Moshe is saying matter-of-factly “You didn’t go up the mountain. I did. So your experience was entirely different.” Perhaps they are having Moshe say, “You were afraid because you didn’t understand God. While I, who was on the mountain, had a very different perception of God.”
Rabbi Eliyahu Mizrachi, the supercommentary on Rashi, has a combination of these approaches, saying Moshe’s comment was an aside, but he still seems to be blaming them for not going up the mountain. This is contradicted by Or HaChaim who explicitly states that they were, in fact, forbidden from going on the mountain.
The Netziv, however, paints an entirely different picture, culling together all the hints here. “They did not sacrifice themselves to go up the mountain, which is why they did not have a supernatural experience. Moshe, on the other hand, even though he stood at the bottom of the mountain, he was not there because he was afraid, but because he had been instructed by the Almighty to be at the bottom of the mountain. Israel, on the other hand, even if they wanted to go up they were warned against it, and even without a warning they were afraid to go. As a result they did not comprehend the second “Dibrot” in the ways Moshe did. When the Torah writes that they didn’t go up because they were afraid of the fire – this is the Torah’s way, giving one reason even though there is sometimes another reason as well.
There is a moment in time when everyone has the opportunity to be a hero. And the question we all have is how do we face that moment?
The people were told not to ascend the mountain. But what if they said, NO. We’re going to go anyway. Would they have died like Nadav and Avihu, or would they have understood God in the way Moshe did? Would they have died, or would they have have an incredible story to tell for the rest of their lives? It seems – with these different views – that the jury might still be out on this one.
But one thing is clear. If one doesn’t take the risk, the chances of achieving greatness are very slim.
It could be that Moshe is just stating a fact. I was on the mountain and you weren’t. But it could also be that Moshe is saying “You could have been on the mountain. And you chose not to be.”
Is this their fault? How could they know such an option existed?
This is why it’s not fair to point fingers and to blame people. Circumstances happen all the time. A miscommunication. A misunderstanding. Something goes afoul.
Unlike in politics, when a career is ruined but life otherwise moves on for the politician, in the real world people who live real lives need to be able to move on after unfortunate encounters.
So, what do we do? Point fingers? Blame people? Or do we say, This is the reality. Things went down in an unfortunate way. Let us look forward and do our best to fix it. To bring together the shattered pieces and come up with a game plan for the future.
I find that most interpersonal problems that people face all boil down to the inability to sit down at a table and hash things out. Sometimes people need to compromise, give a little and hopefully get something in return
The point we can take from this story with Moshe is that you never know unless you actually take that step. The rule at the mountain was meant to strike fear. But maybe it was to teach awe and reverence. And awe and reverence comes in many forms. And one of those forms is, when God says here’s a limit, we can test that limit, if it is truly in a heartfelt and real way aiming at getting closer to God.
I recognize that this can be construed as dangerous ground. How do we know what is within the realm of right and what is within the realm of wrong?
Nadav and Avihu were wrong. But at the end of their lives they were viewed as having gotten closest to God. The people at Sinai were careful, but they didn’t achieve as special a closeness to God as Moshe did.
How will we know if we’ve achieved the ultimate? We can blame no one but ourselves if we don’t. And we’ll never get there if we aren’t willing to take bigger risks in our connection with God, setting goals for ourselves, taking baby steps to reach those goals.
It’s not a blame game. It’s moving forward. One step at a time, until we too can feel comfortable meeting God on the mountain.
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
When Tisha B'Av falls on Shabbos and is Observed on Sunday
Rules for Tisha B'Av which
falls on Shabbos, observed on Sunday 10 Av
As per the Shulchan Arukh
(SA) and Mishnah Brurah (MB)
Compiled by Rabbi Avi Billet
The Fast Begins
1.
As the day leading
into the fast is Shabbos, the day is treated as a regular Shabbos until Shabbos
ends.
2.
The fast begins at
sunset
3.
The meal before the
fast, Seudah Shlishit, is a regular “Shabbos meal,” and can even include meat
and wine. Birkat Hamazon (Bentching) may take place after sunset.
4.
Some recommended
medical guidelines for how to prepare and go about fasting for those who must
eat but want to be considered “fasting” (written about YK,
but applicable all the same)
The mourning of Tisha B'Av is comparable to the mourning of
"Shiva," with the added provision of fasting
Restrictions of the Night and Day (exceptions to follow)
1.
Eating and Drinking
– includes brushing teeth, gargling, and even sipping water
2.
Washing – cleaning
hands and dishes, showers, bathing, swimming
3.
Anointing – using
oils or perfumes that are rubbed onto the body (including makeup).
4.
Shoes – leather
shoes are not to be worn
5.
Marital Relations are
forbidden
6.
Until mid-day, we
sit on the floor or low chair
7.
Until mid-day we do
not wear tallis and tefillin
8.
Intense Torah
learning
Exceptions
1.
Eating
and Drinking - A person with a medical condition who
must eat yet wants to fast can have 1.5 oz of liquid every 9 minutes. See article
for information about eating on Yom Kippur (similar rules have been accepted
regarding Tisha B'Av) https://www.etzion.org.il/en/afflictions-yom-kippur-what-forbidden-and-whom
2.
If you must eat on
Tisha B’Av (see below), you must say Havdalah before eating!
3.
A person who must
eat because of peril or real danger should drink/eat – no questions
asked. Sakanas Nefashos trumps all.
4.
As Tisha B’Av is
observed this year on the 10th of Av, additional leniencies exist
for pregnant women and nursing mothers, as well as those who are particularly
weak. Anyone not fasting following Halakha’s exceptions can have normal meals,
though it is recommended not to overindulge which may cause a person to lose
sight of the nature of the day
5.
Regarding oral
hygiene, there are differences of opinion regarding brushing with a moistened
tooth brush, and using listerine strips and/or breath mists.
6.
Washing –
one may wash hands after using the restroom. Certainly if hands are dirty, they
may be washed. Some have the custom of only washing fingers until the knuckles
for "netilat yadayim" upon waking in the morning. Depending on the
nature of the post-restroom-use-washing needs, one should try to wash only the
fingers, unless necessary to wash the whole hand as noted above.
7.
Anointing –
Deodorant is permitted, though one should apply only what is needed and avoid
excess. Perfume and cologne are not recommended.
8.
Shoes –
a leather adornment to a shoe, which, if removed, does not change the shoe in
any way, does not disqualify the shoe. There are many non-leather options – many
sneakers, crocs, slippers, etc
9.
Marital
Relations – While it is technically not forbidden Friday night because we are observing Shabbos (and eating meat and wine), the custom is to be be strict Friday night (Rama 554:19) (9 Av), unless the woman is going to the mikveh that night. On Saturday night (9 Av observed), there are no exceptions - marital relations are forbidden. A woman who is slated to go the mikveh Saturday night would go Sunday night.
10. Floor Seating – Children who are eating
need not sit on low chairs. Elderly or infirm who experience extreme discomfort
need not sit on low chairs. However, we are not as strict about this (MB
559:10). Rama says we can sit on regular seats once Shacharis is over, though we
try to lengthen the davening so it will end closer to mid-day (1:27pm) (559:3).
Acharonim allowed a person to place a cloth or small pillow beneath oneself (MB
559:11) or to sit on a low chair rather than the floor
11. Tallis – Those who wear tzitzis under their
clothes should put them on without a bracha (555:1)
12. Learning – Eichah, Iyov, the bad
parts of Yirmiyahu, Midrash Eichah, and commentaries on Eichah and Iyov
(554:1-2), the last chapter in Moed Katan and the portions of Masechet Gittin (e.g.
55b) that address the destruction of the Temple. As Rabbi Soloveitchik used to
say, if one needs to learn Torah on Tisha B'Av, "This should be our
biggest aveirah."
Other Practices
1.
Some have the custom
to make night time sleeping a little less comfortable through sleeping on the
floor, or not using a pillow (a custom of putting a rock under one's
head/pillow is also recorded (551:2))
2.
One should avoid
greeting people ("Shalom Aleichem" and "How are you doing?"
etc). If someone accidentally greets you or doesn't know, respond courteously,
but briefly. No need to tell the person not to greet others.
3.
Changes in davening
are recorded in the siddur. Please note: No תתקבל in
Kaddish; omit: Pitum Haktoret, Tachanun, קל ארך אפים, למנצח, the verse of ואני
זאת בריתי (in ובא לציון);
Add נחם and עננו at
Mincha
4.
One who needs to
work on Tisha B'Av may, but one should try to put in fewer hours (554:22) –
Ideally starting after Chatzot [working on Tisha B'Av is nonetheless less than
desirable (554:24)]
5.
One who will lose a
lot of money should follow the practices of working on Chol Hamoed (554:23)
After the Nine Days are over
1.
It is the custom to
break one’s fast first, before saying Kiddush Levana.
2.
Since Tisha B’Av is
being observed on the 10th of Av this year, all restrictions of the
Nine Days end when the fast ends, including washing, laundering clothes,
haircuts. There is a view that we should wait until the morning before eating
meat and drinking wine. Nevertheless, wine may be used for Havdalah Sunday
night.
May we merit to see the day
Tisha B’Av is turned into a holiday
The Good Report of the Spies? A Tisha B'Av Lesson
Parshat Devarim
by Rabbi Avi Billet
In his efforts to transmit lasting values and imprints to the generation on the cusp of entering the Promised Land, Moshe gives them brief historical anecdotes to remind them of some of the seminal events that defined their nationhood.
Among them was the episode of the Spies, the most unfortunate event which brought out the most tragic of consequences: forty years in the wilderness, and a generation slated to die in the wilderness, not to enter the Promised Land.
Our sages teach us that that decree was put in motion on the 9th of Av, a bad luck day for the Jewish people.
And yet, Moshe is strangely mysterious in his depiction of what happened at that time. Read Devarim 1:23-26, in which Moshe essentially declares that “the idea to send the 12 men (one from each tribe) was good in my eyes. They went up until the Eshkol valley/riverbed, and spied the space. They brought back samples of fruit and told us ‘the land God is giving us is good.’ But you did not agree to go up and you rebelled against the Lord your God.”
It is interesting to note that this is the first time the action of the Spies is referred as “raggelle” (רגל - as in “meraglim” מרגלים). In Parshat Shlach they are referred to as “Anashim” (אנשים - men) who go “Latur” (לתור - to scout) out the Land.
Even more interesting is that the element of reporting that Moshe relays here references either the opening, positive , comment of the Spies (Bamidbar 13:26-27), or the words of Kalev and Yehoshua (Bamidbar 14:6-9). The negative component of the Spies blistering report is not mentioned in Moshe’s recollection here. And yet, the consequence of the Spies incident is relayed.
In fact, one who is unaware of what actually happened in Bamidbar 13-14 might read this report as shared by Moshe and wonder “What is he talking about? How was this a bad incident?” Or, more to the point, “What went wrong – the spies said the land was good!”
The Seforno’s comment on this section is most instructive. Moshe’s comments here are not about the spies but about the reaction of the people, because the spies themselves are long dead and gone. For their negative reports they were punished in their time. But their positive report, that the land is flowing with milk and honey and has wonderful fruit, was ignored by the people whom Moshe is addressing.
And Seforno essentially explains Moshe’s words in this way: “You revealed your wickedness at that time. Your intent in the sending of spies was to see if you could conquer, which demonstrated that you did not believe in God and in His promise to give you the land. Once the spies indicated that the nation in the land was strong you did not want to go up. “
And Moshe digs in in his critique. “Your attitude was that the land being good was irrelevant. Because it was all a ruse. God’s real intent, you surmised, was to take you out of Egypt to have other nations wipe you out. Egypt had an economic interest in your survival, as you were their slaves, and your deaths would have destroyed their economy. A different nation, on the other hand, would lose nothing in destroying you.”
Moshe’s proof that the people did not trust in God was in their constantly pining for Egypt. Their feeling was that Egypt was a very good land and that if God really wanted to help them, He could have given them the land of Egypt! This, of course, is a complete revulsion and rejection of the goodness God offered them and did for them in taking them out of Egypt and in promising/giving them the land of Israel!
In other words, Moshe is suggesting that the only reason the good portion of the spies’ report was ignored was because the people did not trust in God’s promise. The people were at fault for accepting the negative report, and it is the actions of the people, in that time and even in this time, which is the source of any problems the Israelites might face.
In leaving out the negativity of the spies’ report, perhaps Moshe is teaching a few important lessons.
First, if the wicked (the spies) are dead and buried, we need not recall their negativity, as it is only destructive. We can focus on the good they shared (that the land is good) while leaving out the bad (…but we can’t conquer because the people are strong). This is particularly not worthy of recalling because the people have already seen under Moshe’s leadership that powerful leaders such as Sichon and Og can be vanquished.
Second, if there is a problem that hasn’t been properly addressed it needs to be addressed directly. Moshe’s point that the 40 years in the wilderness is because of the people’s reaction, more than the actual report of the spies, demonstrates that even now there’s an element of lack of faith plaguing the people even in Moshe’s time. Which is why Moshe focuses much more on the people’s reaction than on the spies’ report.
When we consider the first Tisha B’Av as having a negative outcome because of the undue crying of the people, we ought to consider that Tisha B’Av remains a day of sadness, not yet having turned into a holiday, due to the people still being unworthy in some form.
In those days the people didn’t adequately trust that God’s promises would be fulfilled, and they didn’t believe that the Land God had promised was good enough for them, partly because they were afraid of the people living there.
Would the Messiah come, would the exile end, would the Temple be built, if all the Jews in the world picked up and moved to Israel? Would such a move herald the Final Redemption? In either case, are we all ready to do that?
Tisha B’Av is upon us. We should merit for this to be the last non-holiday version.
by Rabbi Avi Billet
In his efforts to transmit lasting values and imprints to the generation on the cusp of entering the Promised Land, Moshe gives them brief historical anecdotes to remind them of some of the seminal events that defined their nationhood.
Among them was the episode of the Spies, the most unfortunate event which brought out the most tragic of consequences: forty years in the wilderness, and a generation slated to die in the wilderness, not to enter the Promised Land.
Our sages teach us that that decree was put in motion on the 9th of Av, a bad luck day for the Jewish people.
And yet, Moshe is strangely mysterious in his depiction of what happened at that time. Read Devarim 1:23-26, in which Moshe essentially declares that “the idea to send the 12 men (one from each tribe) was good in my eyes. They went up until the Eshkol valley/riverbed, and spied the space. They brought back samples of fruit and told us ‘the land God is giving us is good.’ But you did not agree to go up and you rebelled against the Lord your God.”
It is interesting to note that this is the first time the action of the Spies is referred as “raggelle” (רגל - as in “meraglim” מרגלים). In Parshat Shlach they are referred to as “Anashim” (אנשים - men) who go “Latur” (לתור - to scout) out the Land.
Even more interesting is that the element of reporting that Moshe relays here references either the opening, positive , comment of the Spies (Bamidbar 13:26-27), or the words of Kalev and Yehoshua (Bamidbar 14:6-9). The negative component of the Spies blistering report is not mentioned in Moshe’s recollection here. And yet, the consequence of the Spies incident is relayed.
In fact, one who is unaware of what actually happened in Bamidbar 13-14 might read this report as shared by Moshe and wonder “What is he talking about? How was this a bad incident?” Or, more to the point, “What went wrong – the spies said the land was good!”
The Seforno’s comment on this section is most instructive. Moshe’s comments here are not about the spies but about the reaction of the people, because the spies themselves are long dead and gone. For their negative reports they were punished in their time. But their positive report, that the land is flowing with milk and honey and has wonderful fruit, was ignored by the people whom Moshe is addressing.
And Seforno essentially explains Moshe’s words in this way: “You revealed your wickedness at that time. Your intent in the sending of spies was to see if you could conquer, which demonstrated that you did not believe in God and in His promise to give you the land. Once the spies indicated that the nation in the land was strong you did not want to go up. “
And Moshe digs in in his critique. “Your attitude was that the land being good was irrelevant. Because it was all a ruse. God’s real intent, you surmised, was to take you out of Egypt to have other nations wipe you out. Egypt had an economic interest in your survival, as you were their slaves, and your deaths would have destroyed their economy. A different nation, on the other hand, would lose nothing in destroying you.”
Moshe’s proof that the people did not trust in God was in their constantly pining for Egypt. Their feeling was that Egypt was a very good land and that if God really wanted to help them, He could have given them the land of Egypt! This, of course, is a complete revulsion and rejection of the goodness God offered them and did for them in taking them out of Egypt and in promising/giving them the land of Israel!
In other words, Moshe is suggesting that the only reason the good portion of the spies’ report was ignored was because the people did not trust in God’s promise. The people were at fault for accepting the negative report, and it is the actions of the people, in that time and even in this time, which is the source of any problems the Israelites might face.
In leaving out the negativity of the spies’ report, perhaps Moshe is teaching a few important lessons.
First, if the wicked (the spies) are dead and buried, we need not recall their negativity, as it is only destructive. We can focus on the good they shared (that the land is good) while leaving out the bad (…but we can’t conquer because the people are strong). This is particularly not worthy of recalling because the people have already seen under Moshe’s leadership that powerful leaders such as Sichon and Og can be vanquished.
Second, if there is a problem that hasn’t been properly addressed it needs to be addressed directly. Moshe’s point that the 40 years in the wilderness is because of the people’s reaction, more than the actual report of the spies, demonstrates that even now there’s an element of lack of faith plaguing the people even in Moshe’s time. Which is why Moshe focuses much more on the people’s reaction than on the spies’ report.
When we consider the first Tisha B’Av as having a negative outcome because of the undue crying of the people, we ought to consider that Tisha B’Av remains a day of sadness, not yet having turned into a holiday, due to the people still being unworthy in some form.
In those days the people didn’t adequately trust that God’s promises would be fulfilled, and they didn’t believe that the Land God had promised was good enough for them, partly because they were afraid of the people living there.
Would the Messiah come, would the exile end, would the Temple be built, if all the Jews in the world picked up and moved to Israel? Would such a move herald the Final Redemption? In either case, are we all ready to do that?
Tisha B’Av is upon us. We should merit for this to be the last non-holiday version.
Friday, July 13, 2018
What Guilt Does the High Priest Bear For Accidental Murders
Parshat Masei
by Rabbi Billet
In ancient times, if a person killed someone else accidentally, a trial could sentence the perpetrator to exile in a city of refuge, a sentence that would be carried out until the death of the Kohen Gadol (High Priest).
Why?
The Sifrei explains: The Kohen Gadol’s role was really to do his utmost to bring God’s presence to the people, and thus to lengthen people’s lives. The murderer, obviously, shortens peoples’ lives and causes God’s presence to hide itself. This is why the murderer may not be in the presence of the Kohen Gadol, and must be in exile.
While it understandable for the Kohen gadol to need to be in one domain while the murderer is elsewhere, why should the murderer’s freedom be tied to the death of the Kohen Gado? The sages taught that the death of the righteous, particularly the Kohen Gadol, brings atonement.
Rosh Chodesh Av, (this year falling out on Friday July 13) is one of the few yarzeits noted in the Torah. It is the yahrzeit of the first Kohen Gadol, Aharon HaKohen. And every year at this time, as his yahrzeit ushers in the Nine Days, we are reminded of how desperately we are in need of a Kohen Gadol and the atonement he might help us achieve were he functioning in the Mikdash today.
Who cares if his death brings atonement? Does he deserve to die for the sake of a murderer, albeit an accidental one… to set the murderer free?
In the context of talking about this strange ruling of the Torah, the Talmud in Makkot suggests that the Kohen Gadol’s death is connected to their freedom because he shares some of the blame for the accidental murder having taken place. Had he been in tune to the needs of his people and properly prayed on Yom Kippur that there be peace in the Land, no senseless deaths would have happened.
The Chizkuni attaches blame to the Kohen Gadol for the accidental murder, based on the verse in Parshat Shoftim, “And the man who acts intentionally, not obeying the kohen who stands there to serve the Lord, your God, or to the judge that man shall die, and you shall abolish evil from Israel.” (Devarim 17:12) suggesting the Kohen should have taken the law into his own hands by Torah right, putting murderers to death. Rav Pinchas HaLevi Horowitz, in his Panim Yafot, focuses on how Pinchas – in last week’s portion – set the stage for how the Kohen Gadol could take such a drastic step in order to turn back God’s anger and prevent there being an environment where life is cheap and people aren’t careful, the basic ingredients for an accidental-murdering culture.
The Talmudic passage noted above tells us that the Kohen Gadol’s mother would bring treats and sweets to those exiled so they would not pray for her son’s death. Another view in the Gemara explains that the mother’s intent was that her gifts would encourage them to pray that he not die.
What purpose did his mother serve? The two views in the gemara are very different, but they leave us with the same question. If the Kohen Gadol’s mother would inspire them to pray that her son not die, her investment would be worth the while. If they would not pray for her son’s death, there might not be an added push from God for the Kohen Gadol’s life to end. But in either case, why would they listen to her? If they want to go home, and they could be stuck there for some time, they might still pray for his life to end!
And on the other hand, if his mother is around to make cookies for everyone, we can assume he is not so close to the grave. So what is she really worried about? And besides, are these murderers’ prayers really going to have an impact in the Heavenly realm?!
This passage in the Torah can teach us very valuable lessons, about prayer, and about concern for the other.
In one line of thinking, the Kohen Gadol’s insufficient prayer causes all of this to happen. His inability to inspire the people to greater goodness creates a spiritual void that opens the door for accidental murder. Is he deserving of death for this? No. But he is responsible for not being a stronger spiritual presence in the lives of the masses.
His mother is concerned about the prayers – even of murderers. While it is true that a person who has taken a life accidentally needs exile, but the need for exile may have also come for some other reason, which does not render the individual’s prayer obsolete.
As to why she might have even asked people to pray that her son not die, and that they might have listened, perhaps her visiting and seeing the desperation of those itching to get out made her think “My son deserves to die! But I don’t want to lose him!” And maybe their seeing this sad and pathetic woman made them have a change of heart.
Or maybe she wanted them to not pray for her son to die, and maybe, as a favor to her kindness they complied. But maybe they continued to pray, but not as wholeheartedly, so their prayer would not work.
Or maybe when she came to the city and saw vengeful relatives waiting outside the city, biding their time until the murderer drops his guard and steps out of his refuge, making himself a target for them, perhaps this also gave her a weird feeling. Until her son’s death, they had a free pass to kill the accidental murderers. In other words warranted, justified and unpunishable killing could continue as long as her son was alive.
What a burden to bear!
I don’t envy the Kohen Gadol’s mother who was faced with wanting her son to live while burdened with the misery that will only end with his death.
But we are left to wonder if we are missing, perhaps, an even deeper lesson here. That maybe there is no causality in terms of the Kohen’s death, and that the prayers of the exiled and the concerns of his mother are unfounded.
The Seforno’s idea that God sends people to exile when they need to go based on how long they need to be in exile and when the Kohen Gadol is going to die anyway says only that God is running the show. Prayer has its place in the world, and even when it doesn’t impact the here and now, it is stored for a time and place when it will.
If the death of the righteous or the death of the Kohen Gadol brings atonement, perhaps it is because the way we unite in mourning causes grievances – even over the accidental death of our loved one – to be pushed aside in favor of unity.
The murderers don’t cause the death of the Kohen. Each individual will have served the time he was meant to because that was God’s Master Plan. And the people become united when they appreciate the magnitude of their loss.
With the Nine Days upon us, we must once again unite in prayer, and unite in feeling the magnitude of what has been missing for two millennia – Judaism practiced in its most raw and most Torah-based form.
God’s Master Plan is not for us to figure out. But hopefully soon we’ll play the cards right and merit to see this time period turned into a time of joy, with a Kohen Gadol playing a role of uniter in spiritually bringing all of us under God’s divine wings.
by Rabbi Billet
In ancient times, if a person killed someone else accidentally, a trial could sentence the perpetrator to exile in a city of refuge, a sentence that would be carried out until the death of the Kohen Gadol (High Priest).
Why?
The Sifrei explains: The Kohen Gadol’s role was really to do his utmost to bring God’s presence to the people, and thus to lengthen people’s lives. The murderer, obviously, shortens peoples’ lives and causes God’s presence to hide itself. This is why the murderer may not be in the presence of the Kohen Gadol, and must be in exile.
While it understandable for the Kohen gadol to need to be in one domain while the murderer is elsewhere, why should the murderer’s freedom be tied to the death of the Kohen Gado? The sages taught that the death of the righteous, particularly the Kohen Gadol, brings atonement.
Rosh Chodesh Av, (this year falling out on Friday July 13) is one of the few yarzeits noted in the Torah. It is the yahrzeit of the first Kohen Gadol, Aharon HaKohen. And every year at this time, as his yahrzeit ushers in the Nine Days, we are reminded of how desperately we are in need of a Kohen Gadol and the atonement he might help us achieve were he functioning in the Mikdash today.
Who cares if his death brings atonement? Does he deserve to die for the sake of a murderer, albeit an accidental one… to set the murderer free?
In the context of talking about this strange ruling of the Torah, the Talmud in Makkot suggests that the Kohen Gadol’s death is connected to their freedom because he shares some of the blame for the accidental murder having taken place. Had he been in tune to the needs of his people and properly prayed on Yom Kippur that there be peace in the Land, no senseless deaths would have happened.
The Chizkuni attaches blame to the Kohen Gadol for the accidental murder, based on the verse in Parshat Shoftim, “And the man who acts intentionally, not obeying the kohen who stands there to serve the Lord, your God, or to the judge that man shall die, and you shall abolish evil from Israel.” (Devarim 17:12) suggesting the Kohen should have taken the law into his own hands by Torah right, putting murderers to death. Rav Pinchas HaLevi Horowitz, in his Panim Yafot, focuses on how Pinchas – in last week’s portion – set the stage for how the Kohen Gadol could take such a drastic step in order to turn back God’s anger and prevent there being an environment where life is cheap and people aren’t careful, the basic ingredients for an accidental-murdering culture.
The Talmudic passage noted above tells us that the Kohen Gadol’s mother would bring treats and sweets to those exiled so they would not pray for her son’s death. Another view in the Gemara explains that the mother’s intent was that her gifts would encourage them to pray that he not die.
What purpose did his mother serve? The two views in the gemara are very different, but they leave us with the same question. If the Kohen Gadol’s mother would inspire them to pray that her son not die, her investment would be worth the while. If they would not pray for her son’s death, there might not be an added push from God for the Kohen Gadol’s life to end. But in either case, why would they listen to her? If they want to go home, and they could be stuck there for some time, they might still pray for his life to end!
And on the other hand, if his mother is around to make cookies for everyone, we can assume he is not so close to the grave. So what is she really worried about? And besides, are these murderers’ prayers really going to have an impact in the Heavenly realm?!
This passage in the Torah can teach us very valuable lessons, about prayer, and about concern for the other.
In one line of thinking, the Kohen Gadol’s insufficient prayer causes all of this to happen. His inability to inspire the people to greater goodness creates a spiritual void that opens the door for accidental murder. Is he deserving of death for this? No. But he is responsible for not being a stronger spiritual presence in the lives of the masses.
His mother is concerned about the prayers – even of murderers. While it is true that a person who has taken a life accidentally needs exile, but the need for exile may have also come for some other reason, which does not render the individual’s prayer obsolete.
As to why she might have even asked people to pray that her son not die, and that they might have listened, perhaps her visiting and seeing the desperation of those itching to get out made her think “My son deserves to die! But I don’t want to lose him!” And maybe their seeing this sad and pathetic woman made them have a change of heart.
Or maybe she wanted them to not pray for her son to die, and maybe, as a favor to her kindness they complied. But maybe they continued to pray, but not as wholeheartedly, so their prayer would not work.
Or maybe when she came to the city and saw vengeful relatives waiting outside the city, biding their time until the murderer drops his guard and steps out of his refuge, making himself a target for them, perhaps this also gave her a weird feeling. Until her son’s death, they had a free pass to kill the accidental murderers. In other words warranted, justified and unpunishable killing could continue as long as her son was alive.
What a burden to bear!
I don’t envy the Kohen Gadol’s mother who was faced with wanting her son to live while burdened with the misery that will only end with his death.
But we are left to wonder if we are missing, perhaps, an even deeper lesson here. That maybe there is no causality in terms of the Kohen’s death, and that the prayers of the exiled and the concerns of his mother are unfounded.
The Seforno’s idea that God sends people to exile when they need to go based on how long they need to be in exile and when the Kohen Gadol is going to die anyway says only that God is running the show. Prayer has its place in the world, and even when it doesn’t impact the here and now, it is stored for a time and place when it will.
If the death of the righteous or the death of the Kohen Gadol brings atonement, perhaps it is because the way we unite in mourning causes grievances – even over the accidental death of our loved one – to be pushed aside in favor of unity.
The murderers don’t cause the death of the Kohen. Each individual will have served the time he was meant to because that was God’s Master Plan. And the people become united when they appreciate the magnitude of their loss.
With the Nine Days upon us, we must once again unite in prayer, and unite in feeling the magnitude of what has been missing for two millennia – Judaism practiced in its most raw and most Torah-based form.
God’s Master Plan is not for us to figure out. But hopefully soon we’ll play the cards right and merit to see this time period turned into a time of joy, with a Kohen Gadol playing a role of uniter in spiritually bringing all of us under God’s divine wings.
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Summary of Nine Days Rules
This is a summary of the rules of the Nine Days that I shared with my synagogue. (Tisha B'Av's rules appear separately.) Please note that some rules change a little when Tisha B'Av falls on Shabbos (Saturday) as the fast is then pushed off to Sunday, the 10th of Av, as the day of sadness is not observed on Shabbos. That is how it is this year (2018). The following links may be helpful in putting us into a framework of identifying with why and how we can properly mourn in this time period.
An article by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik - http://etzion.org.il/en/avelut-yeshanah-and-avelut-chadashah
Different things to be mournful of in our days:
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2010/07/time-to-mourn.html
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2011/08/merits-of-performance.html
III.
BATHING and CUTTING NAILS and GROOMING
An article by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik - http://etzion.org.il/en/avelut-yeshanah-and-avelut-chadashah
Different things to be mournful of in our days:
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2010/07/time-to-mourn.html
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2011/08/merits-of-performance.html
I.
MINIMIZING JOY during the Month of Av
A.
Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik compared the
mourning of these 9 days to the style of mourning for a Shloshim period – the
30 days following the death of a loved one. As such, the mourning practices of
this period are intended to be a little stricter than the ones we’ve observed
since 17 Tammuz, to help us be more prepared for the ultimate day of mourning,
Tisha B’Av.
B.
One minimizes joy through disengaging from practices
which give us heightened joy, such as listening to some forms of music andhaving weddings (extension from 17 Tammuz), doing cosmetic or other enjoyable
construction (the kinds which can be delayed), eating meat and drinking wine, taking
haircuts, and pleasurable bathing and washing – of both body and clothing.
A.
The most agreed upon definition of “joy” from
laundry is wearing freshly laundered garments. As such it is recommended to run
“final” loads of laundry before Rosh Chodesh (Friday July 13, 2018), and to
wear any outer garments for a brief period of time to remove the “freshness.”
Garments which have been sitting on a shelf, in a drawer, or hanging in a
closet for a long time are arguably no longer “fresh,” but one who wants to be
strict should wear them briefly if one intends to wear them during the 9 Days.
B.
Undergarments and socks need not be worn
briefly in advance of the 9 days.
C.
There is a difference of opinion as to whether freshly
laundered clothing may be worn on Shabbat during the 9 Days (there are 2
Shabbatot this year!). Either route you choose has support in halakha.
D.
If it is possible to not do laundry at all
during the 9 Days, that is preferred. However, exceptions to the rule of
laundering apply to all children’s clothes, a garment that is absolutely
needed, if a person has nothing else to wear, and laundering for one’s business
(such as a dry cleaner). Additionally, if there is a small stain on a garment
someone is wearing, that stain may be addressed directly, without laundering
the entire garment.
E.
If laundry needs to be done in advance of a
trip taking place the day after Tisha B’Av, the laundry can be cleaned and folded,
but one should refrain from wearing the freshly laundered clothing as per “A”
above.
A.
The strictest laws allow for washing face,
hands and feet but not for other washing during the 9 Days. The exception is a
cold shower in advance of Shabbat.
B.
Owing to the realities of our time, where we
live (where the average daily temperature is between 85-95), and the fact that
most of us fit into the category of istonis (people with a heightened
sensitivity to a lack of hygiene), the strict practice of not bathing during
the 9 Days need not be practiced. Rather, to minimize joy in this regard,
consider lowering the temperature of the water and minimizing one’s time in the
shower. Follow this simple rule: “Take care of business as quickly as possible
then get out of the shower.”
C.
There are differences of opinion as to the
propriety of going into a swimming pool. Many poskim are of the view that if
one needs to enter the pool for health reasons – such as rehab, instructional
swim, or to cool off on a very hot day – then one may do so. If a person can do
without it, then it is better to avoid it.
D.
CUTTING NAILS – Ta”z does not allow it; Magen
Avraham allows it. A woman preparing for mikveh may cut her nails. Some allow
cutting the nails on Friday in preparation for Shabbat. Whatever can be done in
advance of the 9 days is preferred.
E.
HAIRCUTS and SHAVING – Inasmuch as the Nine
Days is similar to the mourning of “Shloshim,” men and women should not get
haircuts during this period. As far as shaving goes, men who can avoid shaving
without being ostracized socially should not shave. At the very least, a man
should not shave during the week in which Tisha B’Av falls (which this year is
only Tisha B’Av itself). Some poskim allow shaving on Erev Shabbat. Women may
shave legs during the Nine Days (Rav Shimon Eider, quoting Rav Moshe Feinstein)
IV.
MEAT AND WINE
A.
The Ashkenazic custom is to avoid eating meat
and drinking wine during the 9 Days. Sefardim follow this rule during the week
in which 9 Av falls.
B.
Meat and wine are permitted on Shabbat.
C.
Wine is not recommended for Havdalah – better to
use a “Shehakol” drink such as beer. If beer (or some other alcoholic drink) is
not available, use grape juice. Even though it is a “Borei Pri Hagafen”
beverage, it does not create the “simcha” (joyous feeling) that wine brings.
D.
The practice of having a siyum in order to eat
meat has mixed reviews amongst the poskim. Some allowed it, and some felt that
if we’re specifically scheduling siyums to eat meat, or if we don’t normally
have a meat meal when we have a siyum, then this is just an attempt to avoid
the aveilut we should be feeling and experiencing..
E.
A timely mitzvah, such as a bris or pidyon
haben, may include a meat meal.
V.
CESSATION OF THESE PRACTICES
A.
This year, with Tisha B’Av being observed on
the 10th of Av (pushed to Sunday from Shabbat), all practices of
mourning end with the cessation of “Tisha B’Av” on Sunday night, as the 11th
of Av begins.
B.
Remember that before eating anything (including
if one must break the fast for medical reasons), Havdalah should be recited.
Borei Pri Hagafen and Hamavdil.
C.
One may cut one’s hair, do laundry, shower, etc
on Sunday night.
D.
Some have the custom to avoid eating meat until
the following morning.
Monday, July 2, 2018
What Transitions Are Available When There Are No Children To Speak Of?
Parshat Pinchas
by Rabbi Avi Billet
Google the phrase “Europe’s Childless Leaders” and you’ll find quite a few articles written about a year ago noting that a number of leaders of European countries do not have children. While I won’t speculate on what that means for each country, it does raise the question of where each country is headed when its elected leader has no skin in the game for the real future.
The question becomes particularly relevant when we look at two pieces of narrative which follow one another in our parsha, one of children looking to reclaim their future (Tzlafchad’s daughters), and one of a leader who arguably does not have children of note in looking to the future (Moshe).
Unlike Aharon who found a successor in his own son Elazar, Moshe does not have that opportunity to give his position over to one of his sons.
And it is in that transition from telling us of Tzlafchad’s daughters to the instruction of appointing Yehoshua as a successor that Moshe is told “Go up to Mt Avarim to see the land that I’ll be giving the Children of Israel.”
The word “Avarim” can be translated as a transition. (For a very different discussion about Har HaAvarim, click here)
The Zohar suggests that this mountain was in view of the burial places of Aharon and Miriam – suggesting that the deaths of all three leaders is one kind of transition for the nation. Moshe being replaced with Yehoshua as leader is another transition. And for Moshe personally, seeing his finality in front of him is a transition of his own dream (hanging onto the hope that he’ll enter the land) being replaced with reality, that he will not enter the land.
Kli Yakar says the placement of Har HaAvarim, in the Torah, right here, follows the phrase we just read before in the Torah regarding inheritance for daughters when there is no son, “V’haavartem et nachalato l’veeto” (you shall transition his portion to his daughter). There Rashi notes a play on words, that anyone who does not leave over a “son to inherit him” causes God to send His “Evrah” (wrath) against the person. (Evrah is spelled like Avarim and v’ha’avartem in Hebrew)
Kli Yakar notes that the phrase is not calling out a person who does not have a son at all, because who can control that? Tzlafchad had five children – all girls. Some people have a son, and he, God forbid, does not reach adulthood. Some people have no children at all. Rashi’s comment is meant to emphasize the word “L’yorsho” (to inherit him). The person has a son, but the son is not worthy to take over his father’s affairs, his father’s competence in Torah, in wisdom, in leadership, etc. This is what causes God to send his “Evrah” against the person. (I’ll get back to this point in a moment)
As such, the transition of Tzlafchad’s inheritance to his daughters is immediately followed with instruction about Har Ha’Avarim, the mountain of transition.
Kli Yakar says it’s a condemnation to Moshe – look at how Tzlafchad raised his daughters to follow in his footsteps, and you, Moshe, where are your sons? Clearly not following in your footsteps! “God had wrath against Moshe, for not guiding his sons to be worthy to inherit his position and his role as a prophet.”
In a certain sense, I think the Kli Yakar is arguing that Moshe was a failure as a parent.
This is not to minimize Moshe’s accomplishments! He was the greatest leader the Jewish people ever knew, and the greatest prophet the world has ever known! One can argue that the greatness of a leader is defined by his accomplishments and his humility – and on those fronts, Moshe wins, hands down.
But one of the greatest success stories in life is being able to point to children and grandchildren and say “I raised them right.” Tzlafchad could say this. Moshe could not.
We are familiar with the idea that God judges the righteous more strictly. Just because God sent “Evrah” against Moshe for his failures as a parent, does this mean that God sends “Evrah” to everyone who fails as a parent? I don’t think so. But it certainly ought to give those of us who are parents pause, to consider if we have the right amount of patience, if we are fulfilling our jobs of “educating and giving a foundation to each child according to his/her unique way of processing and learning.” (Based on Proverbs 22:6)
This is not about following in parents’ professional footprints. Every person needs to forge his or her own path professionally. But whereas Aharon’s sons are mentioned throughout the Torah’s narrative, sometimes even after they have died, Moshe’s sons hardly appear at all.
The question is not one of having children or not. It is a question of legacy.
For all purposes, Moshe’s sons are out of the picture. Yehoshua had no children. In more recent times, George Washington (l'havdil) had no children. The Lubavitcher Rebbe had no children.
Some people never marry, some marry later in life, some are unable to have children, or only have daughters. These are facts of life.
For those who have children, “success” can perhaps be measured in meaningful life aspirations, as Jews, with shared values being embraced by future generations.
For those who do not have children, “success” can perhaps be measured in the impacts we have in our community. A colleague of mine runs a Sunday morning learning program in his shul for Jewish kids who go to public school. The successful program is sponsored by a philanthropist who, before he passed away, felt this was his legacy – giving Jewish kids a chance to learn Torah.
Every person has either a family legacy to worry about or a personal legacy to worry about. Some leave a tremendous impact when they are gone, some leave a void and their life work falls apart.
In preparing for transitions, by the time it was “too late,” because he was dead, Tzlafchad had prepared. His daughters were incredible.
By the time it was too late for Moshe, his sons were in a very different place.
But Moshe prepared for the remaining transitions of his life by seeing to it that he would be replaced with Yehoshua, he got as close to God as humanly possible, and he spent the last month of his life speaking the book of Devarim to all of Israel. And his legacy is firmly in place, and it will never budge.
What transitions do we anticipate? What is in our hands to correct, fix, put in order, plan for, implement? What steps need to be taken so the rest of life can be lived with few regrets, and whatever current regrets can be fixed?
The Three Weeks leading up to Tisha B’Av is a good time to have this (at-times difficult) conversation. This is when we look at past indiscretions (in general) and remind ourselves that they continue to prevent the Jewish people from achieving our ultimate form of Service of God.
by Rabbi Avi Billet
Google the phrase “Europe’s Childless Leaders” and you’ll find quite a few articles written about a year ago noting that a number of leaders of European countries do not have children. While I won’t speculate on what that means for each country, it does raise the question of where each country is headed when its elected leader has no skin in the game for the real future.
The question becomes particularly relevant when we look at two pieces of narrative which follow one another in our parsha, one of children looking to reclaim their future (Tzlafchad’s daughters), and one of a leader who arguably does not have children of note in looking to the future (Moshe).
Unlike Aharon who found a successor in his own son Elazar, Moshe does not have that opportunity to give his position over to one of his sons.
And it is in that transition from telling us of Tzlafchad’s daughters to the instruction of appointing Yehoshua as a successor that Moshe is told “Go up to Mt Avarim to see the land that I’ll be giving the Children of Israel.”
The word “Avarim” can be translated as a transition. (For a very different discussion about Har HaAvarim, click here)
The Zohar suggests that this mountain was in view of the burial places of Aharon and Miriam – suggesting that the deaths of all three leaders is one kind of transition for the nation. Moshe being replaced with Yehoshua as leader is another transition. And for Moshe personally, seeing his finality in front of him is a transition of his own dream (hanging onto the hope that he’ll enter the land) being replaced with reality, that he will not enter the land.
Kli Yakar says the placement of Har HaAvarim, in the Torah, right here, follows the phrase we just read before in the Torah regarding inheritance for daughters when there is no son, “V’haavartem et nachalato l’veeto” (you shall transition his portion to his daughter). There Rashi notes a play on words, that anyone who does not leave over a “son to inherit him” causes God to send His “Evrah” (wrath) against the person. (Evrah is spelled like Avarim and v’ha’avartem in Hebrew)
Kli Yakar notes that the phrase is not calling out a person who does not have a son at all, because who can control that? Tzlafchad had five children – all girls. Some people have a son, and he, God forbid, does not reach adulthood. Some people have no children at all. Rashi’s comment is meant to emphasize the word “L’yorsho” (to inherit him). The person has a son, but the son is not worthy to take over his father’s affairs, his father’s competence in Torah, in wisdom, in leadership, etc. This is what causes God to send his “Evrah” against the person. (I’ll get back to this point in a moment)
As such, the transition of Tzlafchad’s inheritance to his daughters is immediately followed with instruction about Har Ha’Avarim, the mountain of transition.
Kli Yakar says it’s a condemnation to Moshe – look at how Tzlafchad raised his daughters to follow in his footsteps, and you, Moshe, where are your sons? Clearly not following in your footsteps! “God had wrath against Moshe, for not guiding his sons to be worthy to inherit his position and his role as a prophet.”
In a certain sense, I think the Kli Yakar is arguing that Moshe was a failure as a parent.
This is not to minimize Moshe’s accomplishments! He was the greatest leader the Jewish people ever knew, and the greatest prophet the world has ever known! One can argue that the greatness of a leader is defined by his accomplishments and his humility – and on those fronts, Moshe wins, hands down.
But one of the greatest success stories in life is being able to point to children and grandchildren and say “I raised them right.” Tzlafchad could say this. Moshe could not.
We are familiar with the idea that God judges the righteous more strictly. Just because God sent “Evrah” against Moshe for his failures as a parent, does this mean that God sends “Evrah” to everyone who fails as a parent? I don’t think so. But it certainly ought to give those of us who are parents pause, to consider if we have the right amount of patience, if we are fulfilling our jobs of “educating and giving a foundation to each child according to his/her unique way of processing and learning.” (Based on Proverbs 22:6)
This is not about following in parents’ professional footprints. Every person needs to forge his or her own path professionally. But whereas Aharon’s sons are mentioned throughout the Torah’s narrative, sometimes even after they have died, Moshe’s sons hardly appear at all.
The question is not one of having children or not. It is a question of legacy.
For all purposes, Moshe’s sons are out of the picture. Yehoshua had no children. In more recent times, George Washington (l'havdil) had no children. The Lubavitcher Rebbe had no children.
Some people never marry, some marry later in life, some are unable to have children, or only have daughters. These are facts of life.
For those who have children, “success” can perhaps be measured in meaningful life aspirations, as Jews, with shared values being embraced by future generations.
For those who do not have children, “success” can perhaps be measured in the impacts we have in our community. A colleague of mine runs a Sunday morning learning program in his shul for Jewish kids who go to public school. The successful program is sponsored by a philanthropist who, before he passed away, felt this was his legacy – giving Jewish kids a chance to learn Torah.
Every person has either a family legacy to worry about or a personal legacy to worry about. Some leave a tremendous impact when they are gone, some leave a void and their life work falls apart.
In preparing for transitions, by the time it was “too late,” because he was dead, Tzlafchad had prepared. His daughters were incredible.
By the time it was too late for Moshe, his sons were in a very different place.
But Moshe prepared for the remaining transitions of his life by seeing to it that he would be replaced with Yehoshua, he got as close to God as humanly possible, and he spent the last month of his life speaking the book of Devarim to all of Israel. And his legacy is firmly in place, and it will never budge.
What transitions do we anticipate? What is in our hands to correct, fix, put in order, plan for, implement? What steps need to be taken so the rest of life can be lived with few regrets, and whatever current regrets can be fixed?
The Three Weeks leading up to Tisha B’Av is a good time to have this (at-times difficult) conversation. This is when we look at past indiscretions (in general) and remind ourselves that they continue to prevent the Jewish people from achieving our ultimate form of Service of God.
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