Dependence Must Lead to Independence

The Other Side of Owing Someone Is Turning A (non financial) Debt Into An Opportunity

Parshat Chayei Sarah

by Rabbi Avi Billet

               

In Avraham’s relationship with the Almighty, their connection is described in different ways in the Torah. In the beginning of Lekh Lekha He is “Hashem who appeared to him” (12:7). In the Covenant Between the Pieces (15:7) God describes Himself as the One Who “brought you out (“hotzateekha” - הוצאתיך) of Ur Kasdim.”

                

Some of the commentaries note that the language of “who brought you out” is reminiscent of Shmot 20:2 when God describes taking the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage (“hotzateekha”) – both reference God’s saving the subject of the statement from a dangerous situation.

                

At the Covenant of Circumcision, God referred to Himself using other names: “Kel Shakkai” (17:1). After making his treaty with Avimelekh, Avraham refers to God as “the God of the world” (Kel olam).

                

In our parsha, Avraham enjoins his servant first “With Hashem the God of the heavens and the God of earth,”  (24:3), and in response to the servant’s concerns that the maiden might not join him, Avraham says, “Hashem the God of the heavens, Who took me out  (“l’ka’chani” - לקחני) of my father’s household and from the land of my birthplace, and Who spoke to me, and Who swore to me that ‘I will give this land to your descendants,’” is the One who will guarantee your success in this mission.

                

It is amazing to see how Avraham views his relationship with God versus how God viewed the same relationship. Avraham has many superlatives for God, while God sees Himself as a savior and as having different names – one which means “Who has enough” as long as Avraham follows His ways (Shakkai – which is spelled with a dalet instead of the k’s used here).

                

What I find fascinating is the difference between God’s “hotzateekha” (I brought you out/saved you) and Avraham’s “L’ka’chani” (who took me out of my father’s house). Are they really saying the same thing?

                

Radak’s explanation of “L’ka’chani” is that “since I was taken from that home, God does not want me to return there.” The Toldos Yitzhak suggests that it is only “Because God took me out of there that I need to return to there to find a wife for Yitzchak. Had I remained there, obviously this task would have been much easier.” In other words, look at the repeating root word in the verse. “Since God l’ka’chani, you will go and v’lakachta (you will take) a wife for Yitzchak…”

                

The main message we can glean from the difference in language is the one articulated by Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch. God “took me” – and not “brought me out and saved me” – in order to make me into a vessel that could grasp and achieve God’s great purpose for humanity on earth.

                

It would seem that God viewed Avraham’s relationship as one in which “I did for you, now you owe Me.” Avraham, on the other hand, aimed to understand the purpose of that mission. It wasn’t as much, “What do I owe God in return for the kindnesses He did for me?” as much as it was “How can I understand God, and how can I make my relationship with Him become the primary focus of my life?”

                

There are great teachers, mentors, parents who might look back at their role in helping a child or a student. They may even think, “I saved this young person’s life” or “I gave this young person her first real chance” or “This young man owes everything to the assistance/training I gave him.”

                

In the event that they don't, they need to understand that there are different ways the other party will view that help or assistance. Some will look back at those early days and feel an eternal sense of gratitude. They may even be hampered from moving on because they may feel the gratitude they owe prevents them from branching out on their own.

                

Others may look at the opportunity of life skills they’ve been given as the tools which will help them achieve real independence. They’ll embrace their own stab at life with the attitude that “someone helped me get on my feet, and now I have to make the most of the gift of life that is mine to live. I have a mission to succeed, and I must take charge of my responsibility and shine in my own way, using my own unique talents, skills and abilities.”

                

As Avraham’s many adventures had brought him to the point of wealth and relaxation, he knew he owed much to God. But he also knew that his own efforts were highly significant in his achieving the esteem which followed him in his later years.

                

Both ingredients are important for the individual to succeed. But as each individual lives his or her own life, the person must be honored to see that the perspective of “saved me” really means “gave me the opportunity to try to make the most of my life.” 

Mentorship 101

Parshat Mishpatim

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Chapter 24 describes the immediate events preceding Moshe's trek to the mountain for forty days and nights. Aharon, Nadav, Avihu and the seventy elders accompany Moshe as he is about to commence his hike up the mountain.

"God said to Moshe, 'Come up to Me, to the mountain, and remain there. I will give you the stone tablets, the Torah and the commandment that I have written for [the people's] instruction.' Moshe and his aid Yehoshua set out. Moshe went up on God's Mountain. He said to the elders, 'Wait for us here until we return to you. Aaron and Chur will remain with you. Whoever has a problem can go to them.'" (24:12-14)

Rashi says "I don't know why Yehoshua is here, but maybe he is serving the role of "student who accompanies teacher." This answer leaves much unsaid.

Where did Yehoshua come from, and what was his role in all of this?

Explaining Yehoshua's sudden presence, Ramban says he was one of the elders. When Moshe leaves Aharon and Chur in charge, he does so because Yehoshua alone is accompanying him. This is a tribute to the greatness of Yehoshua. But how far up the mountain is Yehoshua allowed to go?

When Moshe emerges in chapter 32, the first person he meets is Yehoshua, who is similarly unaware of the Golden Calf fiasco. This leaves open the suggestion that Yehoshua is somewhere on the mountain – a point which can easily be read in to the verses quotes above.

How did they survive if they did not bring supplies? Ibn Ezra maintains Yehoshua was close enough to where the manna fell that he could easily sustain himself.

As for Moshe, the question of food becomes a little more complicated. In Devarim 9, Moshe recounts to the second generation his multiple trips up the mountain (chapters 24 and 32-34) – and how "I did not eat bread and I did not drink water" during the 40-day periods I was up there.

Could he really have gone 40 days without any food?

After all is said and done, we know Moshe is a human being. Special – yes. But very human. The Talmud (Yoma 4b) says the food that had been in Moshe's intestines were purged during the seven day waiting period (before he entered the cloud), until he was ready to become sustained by spiritual food. (The Alshikh calls this "getting sustenance from the 'ziv haShechinah.'")

We should recall that in lieu of saying "I did not eat anything," he singled out bread and water as the things he did not eat – while allowing that he may have still eaten something else.

The Talmud (Sukkah 5a) says Moshe never entered the realm of God, and God never rested in the realm of Man. If so, Moshe was always in the physical realm – and yet he never ate physical food. Physical food, as we know has good qualities, as well as negative parts which our digestive system rejects. The Talmud (Yoma 75b) discusses what the people ate in the wilderness: Abirim bread (based on Tehillim 78:25) – which is bread that ministering Angels eat. It is called Abirim because it is absorbed in Eivarim, the limbs of the body, and does not produce waste.

The Sfas Emes quotes the Zohar that says the "angelic food" is not what was given to the people. The angels are given it in its original, spiritual form, but by the time it reaches the human realm, it is in the form of a kind of bread, which they called "Mon" (manna).

The Maharsha therefore suggests that Moshe ate Manna on the mountain because it is a spiritual food, and it was only "bread" (specifically) that Moshe said he did not eat, as opposed to saying he did not eat at all.

How did Moshe get the food?

There is a debate as to how Moshe entered the mountain. One approach has a path opening for him to walk upon (Yoma 4b). The other side has him entering a cloud which elevated him to the top, in a Mary-Poppins-inspired move.

If he went up using the latter method, we have to assume God provided for him. But if he walked up on the path, is there room to suggest he did so to leave the line open back to Yehoshua?

The opening Mishnah in Avos says Moshe transmitted the Torah to Yehoshua. Rashi contradicts this in Shmot 34:32, when he leaves Yehoshua out of the chain of the heritage transmission. When did Yehoshua learn directly from Moshe, to the point that he is the top on the list in Avos? [His "not leaving the tent" in 33:11 may be a different breeding ground for his own personal learning, but leaves no indication of his being part of the mesorah transmission in the same way Rashi describes Moshe, Aharon, Aharon's sons and the elders as being links in a chain.]

The Shakh quotes the Medrash Tanchuma who says that while on the mountain, Moshe the human forgot everything he learned on a daily basis until God gave him all the knowledge as a gift. The change happened when his own physical matter became spiritual.

The Talmud (Baba Batra 75a) records how Yehoshua was like the moon to Moshe's sun. Yehoshua, as the leadership heir-apparent, is slated to reflect the light of the teachings of Moshe, just as the moon reflects the light of the sun. Yehoshua's accompanying Moshe serves the purpose of demonstrating the connection they'll carry as the links in the mesorah (heritage) that they bear to this day.

Is it such a stretch to suggest that Moshe communicated with Yehoshua on a daily basis while he was on the mountain? If there was a path from Moshe to Yehoshua, perhaps there was a transfer of manna (which the Talmud Yoma 76a says also fell in Yehoshua's merit), and a transmission of information which Moshe soon forgot afterwards.

If Yehoshua was the first link in the chain of mesorah, his presence on the mountain served a purpose. He could provide food for and help his mentor in a fitting manner, and he can be a sounding board for Moshe to practice teaching as quickly as Moshe learned the information.

This is the best way to learn, says a different mishnah in Avos (1:4). Lay at the dust of the feet of the scholars.

We learn from Yehoshua how to get close to a teacher, how to play the role of facilitator and learner, and the patience to wait until it is your turn to shine.