Rosh Hashana
by Rabbi Avi Billet
The haftorah we read on the first day of Rosh Hashana follows Chana's plight, her desire to have a child and her celebration of the arrival of that child.
There is so much we learn from Chana’s story – the way she deals with adversity, childlessness, sharing a husband with a seemingly petty woman. How she doesn’t despair, how she realizes that “I am the only person who can effect change, who can make a difference in my life.”
Chana knew that in order to get what she wanted in life, a child, she could no longer mind two stores – Peninah’s and hers.
She could no longer put her faith in her husband – men, it seems, don’t really understand what childless women go through. When Rachel told Yaakov, “If you don’t give me children I will die” his response was “Have I taken the place of God who has prevented you from having children? I have children from Leah! I am not the problem!” Wrong answer.
Elkanah says to her, “Am I not better for you than 10 sons?” Even if his intentions were honorable – and Radak says he either meant “My desire for you and my love for you is greater than the love ten children would have for you.” OR “I am better to you than I am to my 10 children from Peninah.” In other words, I love you more than I love them.
This was still the wrong answer.
Telling a barren woman that she should get over it is a complete dismissal and downright lowdown response, if it is not akin to using an emotional machine gun to shoot her hopes and dreams to kingdom come.
A woman’s nature is to love and to give and to care for, and most importantly, if at all possible, she wants to take part in creation. Think about what Chava, the first woman said, when Kayin emerged from her body. “I acquired a man with God” – and Rashi explains, “I have become a partner with God in creation.” Only a person who has nourished and felt and lived with a baby inside of her can understand what it means to be a partner in creation. Chana wanted that.
Clearly Elkanah could not relate to her pain. As a parent himself he could no longer understand her place. And as a man, who will never feel the partnership with God in creation, he could not relate to her desire, and arguably had no right to consider telling her to push her feelings aside by looking at all the good in her life, most notably his love for her.
In addition to her husband who was of no help, Chana also realized that no human could help her – as much as Yaakov was wrong in the manner in which he spoke to Rachel, he was correct that all the things we want in life come from God. And so Chana, in her personally motivated conclusion, turned to God.
Here is how the Navi depicts Chana – and it becomes even more poignant when we consider that Shmuel wrote this book, and wrote about his mother.
First she is bitter. She beseeches God – she is crying. She makes a vow "God, if you see the suffering of your maidservant, if you can remember me, and don't forget your maidservant, and give your maidservant [a child], I will give him to God for all the days of his life, a cutter will never go on his head." She continued to pray for a long time, and Eli was examining her mouth. But Hannah, she was speaking in her heart, only her lips were moving, and her voice was not heard, and Eli thought her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her: “Until when will you be drunk? Throw off your wine from upon yourself.” And Hannah answered and said, “No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit, and neither new wine nor old wine have I drunk, and I poured out my soul before the Lord.”
Pouring out our soul is an important theme of Rosh Hashana.
What does it mean to desire to be a partner in creation? What does it mean, when a person has nowhere else to turn, that a person turns to God, pouring out one's soul?
“Hannah, she was speaking in her heart, only her lips were moving, and her voice was not heard…”
Perhaps that’s the solution! Chana’s prayers were heartfelt and real. She knew what she was saying as she bared her soul. She understood her own words – of course. And she also knew that sometimes, in order to get what we really want, you have to be willing to give your most precious possession.
She wanted a child to open her womb, to prove she could have children. And she was ready to give that child to serve in the mishkan, and to commit him to a lifetime of nezirut – to never cut his hair.
How many of us are willing to give up everything just for experience of having what we want briefly? (No intended references to recent Nike ad nonsense)
This is the first ingredient we learn from Chana – how to pray. How to get God to listen. To want it, to mean it, and to be willing to give up something precious in order to get it.
What we call lip service doesn't cut it. It's Chana's form of lip service, the kind that may include, to the undiscerning eye, a loss of dignity, that is the kind of prayer to God we are talking about. When I don't care how others view me, when I don't think about human perception. When I show God how real I am, that in this moment I recognize that there are two beings in the conversation – God and little me. And mostly, that I can't rely on anyone else to do this.
Like Chava before her, Chana wanted to be a partner in Creation with God, to create life. It is our job to be like Chava as well – not to create new life, but to recreate, to renew our own lives. It is about making our lives better – through the things we do between ourselves and God, the ways we interact with our fellow humans, and the ways in which we view ourselves and the world around us.
We will live our lives atypically, tackling issues that arise creatively, simply because we must. We have to take the bull by the horns and say "I am the one that will resolve this. I will bring a new light or perspective. I have the power."
Chana did this. And she merited not only to have Shmuel, but to have many children. All she needed to do was overcome the initial hurdle, to break open her womb, so to speak, to become a full fledged partner in creation.
Just as God remembered Chana, we hope He will remember us, as we demonstrate our efforts to be like Chana. To make high commitments, after pouring out our souls, and to live by them.
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