Getting Angry, Speaking Calmly

Parshat B'Shalach
by Rabbi Avi Billet

After the splitting of the sea, the people begin to settle into their wilderness existence, and become the recipients of a daily dose of manna from heaven.

The instructions as to what this food is, how it is to be rationed, and how it is to be cooked and eaten are given piecemeal. In 16:19, Moshe tells the people not to leave any leftovers until the next day. Perhaps this was the precursor to every successful Passover program: no need to take leftovers to your room because there will always be a new helping of food the following morning.

For the second and last time, we find the people not listening to Moshe (the first was in 6:9, during the heart of slavery, before the plagues began). People leave food for the next day – and it spoils. Moshe's reaction is to get angry at them.

It is quite understandable why they did not listen to him in Egypt. His efforts to that point had only yielded more work and more suffering. The people, exhausted from their exertions, had not the wherewithal to listen to Moshe's promises of redemption.

In our story, however, why wouldn't they listen? After all, if the manna from heaven is so clearly a miraculous gift, and if since the last "not listening experience" you have witnessed this man bring about ten plagues, split the sea and drown your oppressors, why wouldn't you think there's something to what he's doing and saying? How could you come to ignore him completely?

Perhaps they ignored him because they were still living in a slave mentality reality. Perhaps a slave counts every morsel of food that comes his way, not believing he'll see something good again for a long time. So even though they were told not to leave anything over, either they couldn't help it because they were used to hoarding or they couldn't believe that such fresh food would literally spoil in the morning.

So why did Moshe get angry? Shouldn't he understand the mind games the people play with themselves?

A closer look at other times when Moshe gets angry with the word "Vayiktzof" may help us understand Moshe's impetus for bringing out his anger card. The commentary of the Baalei Hatosafot summarizes the three times this word is used to describe Moshe's getting angry. The other two incidents are: when Moshe's nephews do not partake of the goat sacrifice at the dedication of the Mishkan, shortly after their older brothers die; and when the soldiers return from the all-out Midianite war having spared the women of the nation they had been ordered to wipe out completely. [He also "got angry" at the Golden Calf incident, and when dealing with the Korach group – except that there the Torah uses the word "Vayee-char"]

In each case, the Baalei Hatosafot explain, Moshe forgot a law as a result of his anger: in the manna story - he forgot to tell the people not to collect manna on the seventh day; with his nephews - he forgot that after losing a close relative a mourner does not eat meat ; after the Midianite war - he forgot the laws concerning how to kosherize vessels they had seized in battle.

There are a number of common denominators in the three stories. I will focus on two of them. Firstly, the people deliberately ignored a direct command from God that had been channeled through Moshe. Secondly, Moshe was very aware that a precedent was being set as each circumstance was a first time episode.

It's a difficult balance. Sometimes anger is warranted, and sometimes anger only serves to bring a person down. In Moshe's case, the setback he suffered was that he forgot a law – God, Aharon and Elazar taught him the three laws, respectively.

But what was at stake? God's honor.

The difference between Moshe getting angry "for God's sake" and those who think "they know what God wants" is that he was the direct line, and knew exactly and explicitly what needed to be done. And, in every case, he was trying to set a precedent that people could one day turn to for guidance - namely through reading the Torah's account of precedent-setting moments.

But not everything works out "the way you want" and his personal outcome was forgetfulness. God did not get upset or punish people for violating the shabbos, for example. He just asked Moshe to give them a little rebuke. And when Moshe delivered the message as he was told, the people changed.

Sometimes an option that serves a more productive purpose than anger is saying in a clear and firm tone, "I stand for this exact thing that God said." If communicated properly and respectfully, there is a much better chance that people will listen.