For All My Life

A Rosh Hashana Message

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The Talmud in Kiddushin (40b) has a fascinating passage describing the merits process, which is quite applicable to this time of year.

"Our Rabbis taught: A person should always regard himself as though he were half guilty and half meritorious: if he performs one mitzvah, happy is he for weighting himself down in the scale of merit. If he commits one transgression, woe to him for weighting himself down in the scale of guilt. It is said, 'But one sinner destroys much good' (Kohelet 9). In other words, on account of a single sin which he commits much good is lost to him.

"R. Eleazar son of R. Shimon said: Since the world is judged by its majority, and an individual is also judged by his majority [of deeds, good or bad], if he performs one good deed, happy is he for turning the scale both for himself and for the whole world on the side of merit. But if he commits one transgression, woe to him for weighting himself and the whole world in the scale of guilt, for it is said: ‘but one sinner, etc.’ — on account of the single sin which this man commits he and the whole world lose much good.

"R. Shimon Bar Yohai said: Even if he is perfectly righteous all his life but rebels at the end, he destroys his former [good deeds], for it is said: The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression (Yechezkel 33). And even if one is completely wicked all his life but repents at the end, he is not reproached with his wickedness, for it is said, 'And as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall thereby in the day that he turns from his wickedness' (ibid).

"Yet let it be regarded as half transgressions and half meritorious deeds! — Said Resh Lakish: It means that he regretted his former deeds."

The first part of the passage describes the scale we all envision – where our positive deeds and fulfilled mitzvot sit on one weight counter, being weighed against our bad deeds, violations of sin and transgressed negative commandments. This balance act of merits versus demerits is easy for us to understand.

But the teaching of R Shimon Bar Yochai serves to indicate that in some cases, a person can literally be judged based on one's most recent deeds. One who has been good one's entire life can throw everything away in an instant, while one who has been bad can be redeemed in an instant.

Are we reducing Rosh Hashana to a children's game, where we behave nicely right before Rosh Hashana, so Santa Claus will give us the present we want?

Hardly. This is where Resh Lakish comes in. We can't just be judged for our most recent deeds. We must regret our misdeeds of the past as well, and make a commitment not to return to our ways of old.

Herein lies the difference for all of us. It is very easy to say on any given day, "I will be a good person today. I am being judged today. I am being watched today. I will perform well today." It is much more difficult to make a conscience choice to make a commitment today that will last for the rest of my life.

But Resh Lakish is reminding us that we can sincerely regret our past misdeeds, at any time, any day.

If we bring a fair dose of sincerity, and honest feelings of recommitment and renewal to striving to be better people in this coming year, it is our hope we will merit all the blessings that come upon those who truly earn for themselves a sweet new year.

Shana Tova to all.