The Community of God

Ki Tetze

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Chapter 23, verses 2-4 list a number of male types who may not enter "k'hal Hashem," the community of God. On a simple level, the verses seem strange. The first two individuals – men who have become sterile on account of external, or unnatural incidents – are likely Jewish men. As is the "mamzer," the product of two Jewish people who participated in a Torah-forbidden relationship. Don't they enter the community of God the moment they are born?

The Ammonite and Moabite males who may not enter the community of God are understandably in a different category, it would seem. But when the Torah says "Also the tenth generation may not enter the community of God" – which generation is the "tenth"? How is that calculated? May they become Jews, but only be accepted by the community after ten generations? How would they have any generations if they are not accepted?

While not proposing this exact definition, many of the commentaries define the "non-entry into the community of God" as a prohibition against their marrying Jewish women. Or a prohibition for Jewish women against marrying them.

What kind of discrimination is this? What about love? What about free choice? What about real human bonding? What do you say if people connect in their souls? Why should the Torah care who a woman marries, or if these men have found women who will help them not be alone?

Moabite converts may have once had to marry within their conversion community (if they were permitted to convert), but the fact is that the Ammonite and Moabite prohibition no longer applies in our world, because Sanncherib mixed around cultures, causing these nations to disappear (Talmud Brachot 28a).

As I do not intend to discuss the "mamzer" here, we will now move on the males who have become infertile due to an unnatural act. The comments of the ancient rabbis you are about to read might not smack of political correctness, and certainly do not take modern psychology knowledge into consideration. Nonetheless, I think they are very instructive as to how we can define some of the purposes of marriage.

**IOW - Disclaimer: This discussion relates to men whose genitalia have been physically mutilated. It does not relate to individuals who struggle with infertility for other reasons.**

Some of the arguments proposed by commentaries as to why they may not enter the community of God include: if they no longer have a possibility of fathering children, why should they marry women in the first place? (Chizkuni); the union of a man and wife is a foundation of inspiration and acceptance, which unnatural unfortunate events have rendered impossible on account of the inability to produce children for that purpose – which makes a deficiency in the upper spheres (Rabbi Menachem Ricanati, the Italian kabbalist of the 13^th century) [English translation: if they will not be able to have children to inspire to follow God's ways, a marriage of this sort seems less than ideal]

Along similar lines, Rabbenu Bachaye explains "the community of God" as referring to "marrying an Israelite woman," because, in his understanding, the main reason for marriage is to have children and to raise the next generation. When a man is physically incapable (scientifically is a different discussion), his marriage fails to serve its ultimate purpose.

However, Rabbenu Bachaye adds, since the Torah does not forbid "his getting married" (only entering the community of God), he may marry other women who are part of the Jewish community, such as a convert (there are different levels of conversion) or a freed Canaanite maid. Whatever relations the man may be able to have (or any relations in any union) that do not produce children are permitted in the context of marriage.

The Alshich is most practical, saying if a woman marries a man who is incapable of giving her a child, she might resort to forbidden means to get the child for which she yearns.

In our modern technological world, women who yearn for that child have options that need not include a forbidden relationship. Which can resolve the Alshich's concern.

           

Rabbenu Bachaye's feelings regarding marriage are alleviated by his openness to the reality that people who are scientifically incapable of producing children also marry, as do people who are past child producing years. We certainly understand that people marry for companionship and all kinds of reasons not necessarily related to having a family. Perhaps even suggesting that two people get married in order that they may produce children (when nothing else 'clicks') could be viewed as a creepy approach to matchmaking.

            

But the ultimate lesson is that a Jewish marriage, and a proper Jewish union, is called "Entering the community of God."

            

I wish for and bless all those currently looking for mates to look beyond yourself and your needs to find that the person who will help you enter the community of God need merely be a person who shares a common goal and a common vision for what you want out of life. The community of God is one that speaks of an existence of kedushah, of holiness, which is achieved through the kindnesses we do for our spouses, and the choices we utilize to make their lives more fulfilling.

            

May all Jewish people merit to live a life in the community of God, with marriages that work to inject holiness at every turn. And if children are part of the equation, may they grow to follow in the footsteps of the community of God in which they are raised.