Nadav and Avihu Died... Because they were unmarried?

In 2009, I wrote an article entitled the "Post Shidduch Crisis" (which I posted to this blog here) lamenting the number of first time marriages of young people I had personally seen that were dissolved within months. I suppose this is a follow up to that. While there is much more to say, this is a start to an important subject. 

Parshat Shemini

by Rabbi Avi Billet

At the beginning of his comment on Vayikra 10:1, Kli Yakar lists 7 or 8 (depending how you count) possible reasons for why Nadav and Avihu died, some recorded in Yalkut Shimoni. One of those reasons is “because they did not take wives.” In explaining each reason, he suggests there is a connection to fire (what took their lives) because “those unmarried are filled with flame of desire and sinful thoughts” (based on Sanhedrin 108b and Kiddushin 81a) [All of the reasons given by the Rabbis are included in a list at the end of this link and an even longer list in the middle of this sermon - in brackets]

Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky asked, “Why did Chazal heap so many possible sins on these “Kedoshim” (how Moshe referred to them)? Why wasn’t the Torah’s explanation – they died for bringing a strange fire they had not been commanded to bring – sufficient?” He answers (as does Kli Yakar) that all of the sins in question focus on a “Nekudah Merkazit” (main point) of haughtiness, and in the case of this specific “reason,” of thinking they were better than all prospective brides. 

The Zohar has unflattering things to say about someone who goes unmarried (see the comments below this article), and notes that this was a blemish in Nadav and Avihu, which contributed to God removing them from preventing His presence to fully be brought into the Mishkan. 

Pharaoh Encroached

 Passover - 7th Day (Sermon)

by Rabbi Avi Billet

The Torah doesn’t give us a timeline for the events of today’s Torah reading. Chazal do – but the Torah does not. 

 In all likelihood, the timeline that is given, of the Bnei Yisrael traveling three days and getting stuck at the sea, and then Pharaoh giving chase and catching up within a day or a day and a half (depending which version of that Midrash you like) comes from the parallel of Yaakov running away from Lavan’s house. There are many parallels between the two stories. Just to give the most obvious one. 

 The section begins with the words בשלח פרעה את העם, when Pharaoh “SENT” the nation. And a few verses later, we are told, without telling us when or how much time after he SENT THEM, וַיֻּגַּד֙ לְמֶ֣לֶךְ מִצְרַ֔יִם כִּ֥י בָרַ֖ח הָעָ֑ם. The king of Egypt was told that the nation had fled. 

Consistency and Growth in Becoming Holy

 Parshat Tzav

by Rabbi Avi Billet

There is a known passage in the Ein Yaakov which pits Ben Zoma, Ben Nanas, and Ben Pazi against one another in a bout to discover the most inclusive verse that describes the religious life. Ben Zoma – the verse of Shema Yisrael, Ben Nanas – the verse of Love thy neighbor, Pen Pazi – the verse of ‘one lamb in the morning, the second lamb in the afternoon.’ 

There are related teachings attributed to others: 

 "'Love your fellow as yourself,' R. Akiva says: This is the guiding principle of the Torah" (Sifra Vayikra 19:18). The Midrash quotes another opinion (of Ben Azai): "'This is the record of the genealogy of Man, when God created him' (Bereishit 5:1) — this is an even greater principle." The Maharal's version of the midrash presents yet a third opinion: the ultimate guiding principle is "Et ha-keves echad ta'aseh va-boker, ve-et ha-keves ha-sheni ta'aseh bein ha-arbayim" - "You shall offer the one lamb in the morning and the other in the afternoon" (Shemot 29:39 and Bamidbar 28:4). 

Thoughts and Prayers

 This is based on a sermon I gave several years ago on a Shabbos we had dedicated to "infertility awareness"

Parshat Vayikra

by Rabbi Avi Billet

A number of Midrashim pose the question (ascribed either to Rabbi Yoseh, Yosi, or Dosa), "Why do children begin learning the [Chumash] from the section about korbanot [offerings]?" And the answer is, "Because just as the korbanot are pure, so are the children pure." 

Rabbenu Bachaye looks at the word ויקרא, which has a small Alef, and tells us (after a lengthy analysis) that it is not God who is speaking to Moshe. It is the 'כבוד ה that we saw at the end of the book of Shmos, filling the Mishkan, talking to Moshe. That 'כבוד ה refers to a different small letter which is involved in creation – the ה in אלה תולדות השמים והארץ בהבראם. There the ה is also small. In other words, the ה of בהבראם references the Glory of God which calls Moshe with a small א. Connecting the dots, both small letters together remind us that even the sacrificial order is part of God’s plan for His world. 

Blessing Our Works – with Strength and the Divine

I often check to see what I've written in the past to avoid repeating. Would have been a good move, especially since this Parsha has limited components where most commentaries bother at all to comment. What follows is a different take on one source quoted in last year's (so sorry!) comments on this Parsha, though it goes in a different direction. 

Parshat Eileh Fekudei

by Rabbi Avi Billet

After seeing that all of the work for the Mishkan was concluded, with everything having been done exactly as God had commanded Moshe, the Torah reports to us that Moshe blessed the people. 

 That blessing, according to Rashi, was “It should be that His Shekhinah should be present in all the works of your hands.” (יהי רצון שתשרה שכינה במעשה ידיכם) In other words, God’s contribution to your success in building the Mishkan should be palpable. 

Rabbi Baruch HaLevi Epstein asks why this blessing was necessary at all. After all, God had promised in Terumah (25:8) that “when you make a Mishkan, I will dwell (ושכנתי – the Shekhinah) in it.” It would seem that by dint of finishing the job, Moshe’s blessing now, in 39:43, is superfluous.

Honoring Our Past and Building Our Future (homage to Betzalel and his forebears)

Parshat Vayakhel

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

While he was introduced to us in last week’s parsha, the Midrash goes on a bit of a wild tangent over the introduction of Betzalel this week, when we meet him along with his father and grandfather and Shevet. The Midrash ties this introduction to the concept of שבח לו ולמפשחתו ולשבטו (praise for him, his family, and his tribe), for both Betzalel and Oholiav, while comparing to other characters who are introduced to us with ancestry (the megadef in Emor – שם אמו שלומית בת דברי) and Akhan - עכן בן כרמי בן זבדי בן זרח למטה יהודה, who was from the tribe of Yehuda and stole from the Cherem against the city of Yericho in the time of Yehoshua. 

Man Plans and God Also Plans

 Parshat Ki Sisa

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Many years ago I read an essay entitled “Welcome to Holland” written by Emily Perl Kingsley to try to explain what life as a parent to a child with a disability is like – in her case, I believe it was Downs Syndrome. She compares it to intending to go on a trip to Italy, which ends with the flight attendant welcoming you to Holland.  Apparently there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. Her point being it’s a journey – not what you expected – but Holland has its fine points as well. It's not a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's different! It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.