Parshat Vaychi
by Rabbi Avi Billet
In Pirkei Avos there are several teachings that encourage people to consider paths of behavior that prevent a person from coming to sin.
• “Know what is above you – including a seeing eye, a hearing ear, and that all things are written down.”
• “Know where you’re coming from, where you’re going, and before Whom you’ll need to give a reckoning for your deeds.”
• “Rabbi Yaakov would say this world is a hallway leading into the next world. In this world you prepare to enter the banquet hall.”
There’s a pasuk in Koheles:
קהלת ח:ח אֵ֣ין אָדָ֞ם שַׁלִּ֤יט בָּר֙וּחַ֙ לִכְל֣וֹא אֶת־הָר֔וּחַ וְאֵ֤ין שִׁלְטוֹן֙ בְּי֣וֹם הַמָּ֔וֶת וְאֵ֥ין מִשְׁלַ֖חַת בַּמִּלְחָמָ֑ה וְלֹֽא־יְמַלֵּ֥ט רֶ֖שַׁע אֶת־בְּעָלָֽיו׃
“No man has authority over the lifebreath—to hold back the lifebreath; there is no authority over the day of death. There is no mustering out from that war; wickedness is powerless to save its owner.”
Rashi’s comment here brings to mind our Haftorah, in which King David is making preparations for his own death, reminding his son Shlomo that there are certain scores that need to be settled, some with rewards and some with punishments. In due time, Shlomo will find a way to honor his father’s final wishes.
Rashi notes on the words ואין שלטון (verse quoted above) that “the rulership of no king is recognized on the day he dies. You always see David referred to as “וְהַמֶּלֶךְ דָּוִד” (KING David), but in the Haftorah it says “And David’s days were close to [his] death” – he is not called King."
Torah Temimah notes once his death is pending, even though he is still alive, his kingship is no longer mentioned, to demonstrate that there is no rulership at the time of death. Being a ruler is a gift given to people in this world, but once one is dying, all matters of this world become irrelevant. Death is a very humbling experience.
The Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 9:3, based on Koheles 8:8) teaches us that we don’t always have the opportunity to plan ahead for these matters since the Angel of Death doesn’t wait for us, no matter how powerful we might be (like a king) or how much physical protection one might have. The passage concludes noting that even for Moshe Rabbenu, a time came when God said, “You are close to death.”
Which means that the task before us is clear. We have one opportunity of the lifetime we are gifted to use whatever power is at our disposal to make the most of our time on this earth, getting as close as possible to the Ribono Shel Olam.
If we do this, we are a living embodiment of what we say in Adon Olam – בידו אפקיד רוחי בעת אישן ואאירא…
In simple terms we are saying that we are entrusting our souls to Him. Whenever He takes it, we are ready and not afraid.
Which means that our task in this life is to truly be ready for that moment, in a manner in which when it comes, it comes, and it is OK.
There is a song composed by Abie Rotenberg, "Neshomele." It’s presented as a conversation between an angel bringing a soul down to earth to be born, and after a musical interlude that represents the person’s life, the angel comes down to earth to bring the soul “back home.”
In each part, the angel invites the soul to come, to not be afraid. And the soul’s responses, in both cases, are of fear of the unknown. Because where I am is good.
But dear Malach’l, no, I don’t want to go,
There is so much pain and evil, upon the earth below,
Let me stay here up in heaven, where it’s safe and I’ll be pure,
Please don’t make me go away, can’t you see I’m so afraid.
The angel assures him that he can accomplish wonderful things in this world, and so he “agrees” to make a go of life in this world.
When it’s time to die, shockingly, he doesn’t want to leave.
But dear Malach’l, no! I don’t want to go,
I’m not ready to go with you, where you take me, I don’t know
Let me stay right where I am, there’s so much more I need to do
Please don’t make me go away, can’t you see I’m so afraid.
The angel reassures him:
I’ve only come to take you home,
There is no need to fear your destination,
You’ve earned a place right by the throne
A place right by the throne.
Yaakov Avinu may have had similar reservations. Remember his response to Pharaoh when they met, and Pharaoh asked him his age. Yaakov complained about his miserable life. So much so that Chazal criticize Yaakov and claim that he lost YEARS of his life because of that flub. Where is your Hakaras Tovah for the gift of life? For your children? For all that God DID for you, even if you suffered?
Malbim says that Yaakov made up for it in the opening of the parsha when the Torah tells us ויחי יעקב, that Yaakov lived and made the absolute most of his final 17 years in Egypt, seeing his sons reconcile, watching his grandchildren grow, focusing on their spiritual growth in whatever way he could influence and have input… and of course putting his house in order, with his own burial plans set, and making sure his final wishes were clear and would be carried out.
Thank God, he had the blessing of ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות. He knew he was sick, getting closer to the end, and so he did it at that point. David lived less than half the years of Yaakov, and he too was blessed to know when he was near the end.
NASCK (National Association of Chevra Kadisha) reminds us that while some of us are “blessed” with that luxury, not everyone is blessed to know their time is coming to an end.
Our goal of this Shabbos is to take the message that we simply don’t know when it will happen, but we choose to live a life that is well aware that we could go at any time, and to therefore make the conscious choice to live a life that is aimed at getting to Olam Haba.
Whether we do so through Pirkei Avos, through the tefillot mentioned earlier, through saying Modeh Ani daily, thanking God for returning our souls to us, recognizing that He could have chosen to keep it, and for last night to be our last, but He DIDN’T, giving us a chance to make this new day an even more meaningful day, then we are living with purpose, and living to be a living example to our loved ones and friends, of what it means to carry God with us always.
Some of us may very much identify with the verse from Tehillim 23 - גַּ֤ם כִּֽי־אֵלֵ֨ךְ בְּגֵ֢יא צַלְמָ֡וֶת לֹא־אִ֮ירָ֤א רָ֗ע כִּי־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּדִ֑י – “even as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.”
This is King David’s dirge. Radak explains this verse to mean “because David was in danger many times, he said ‘I fear no evil’ for on account of his great trust in God, he was never afraid that anything God would bring to him could be bad. ‘For You are with me’ – I [always] trusted that You are with me.”
Why? Because that is how David lived his life.
Let us learn from David and from Yaakov Avinu that we ought to live life in such a way that whenever our time comes, we are ready to go to Olam Haba, because of how we lived our lives.
And while we can certainly mirror the words of the Neshoma in the song who says “There’s so much more I need to do,” we can also take comfort in the angel’s message that “I’ve only come to take you home, and there is no need to fear your destination.”
For all of us, in good health, and if we are so blessed… to 120. But let us merit to live every day to the max, so that indeed we never need fear – לא אירא רע כי אתה עמדי, whenever the Ribbono Shel Olam comes calling, we are ready, because we will be going to see an old friend, accompanied by an angel who wants the very best for us.