Lavan's Blessing

Parshat Chayei Sarah (+ Pesach)

by Rabbi Avi Billet

And they blessed Rebecca and said to her, "Our sister, may you become thousands of myriads, and may your seed inherit the cities of their enemies."

וַיְבָֽרְכ֤וּ אֶת־רִבְקָה֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְרוּ לָ֔הּ אֲחֹתֵ֕נוּ אַ֥תְּ הֲיִ֖י לְאַלְפֵ֣י רְבָבָ֑ה וְיִירַ֣שׁ זַרְעֵ֔ךְ אֵ֖ת שַׁ֥עַר שֽׂנְאָֽיו:

This is the blessing offered as a parting shot to Rivkah on the way out of her home, accompanied by some girls and Avraham's servant. (24:60)

Since the blessing is worded with "Our sister," one can naturally imply that the blessing was given by her brother Lavan. It sounds like a great blessing! Until we consider what the blessing might actually mean. 

The Talmud tells us (Baba Basra 110a) that when a man is looking to marry he should inquire about the woman's brothers.

אמר רבא: הנושא אשה צריך שיבדוק באחיה, שנאמר: ויקח אהרן את אלישבע בת עמינדב אחות נחשון, ממשמע שנאמר בת עמינדב, איני יודע שאחות נחשון היא? מה תלמוד לומר אחות נחשון? מכאן, שהנושא אשה צריך שיבדוק באחיה. תנא: רוב בנים דומין לאחי האם. 

The example the Talmud gives is from Aharon, who married Elisheva daughter of Aminadav, who, when introduced, is also identified as the sister of Nachshon. The Talmud asks, if she's Aminadav's daughter, isn't it obvious that she is Nachshon's sister? Why tell us that she is his sister? The answer given is that most of the sons she produces will be most like her brother.  In Aharon's case, therefore, it was an excellent match!

R' Chaim Volozhin explained that Lavan was blessing her to have many children, in hopes that most of them would turn out like him!

R' Chaim Tzanzer suggested that Rivkah was barren so that Lavan's blessing wouldn't come true. If she doesn't have children through 20 years of marriage, that is ample time to see that whatever he blessed her with did not happen. 

Perhaps this is why the Torah doesn't depict her as praying for a child - it only presents Yitzchak as praying. She did not want her brother's blessing to come true! Furthermore, when she does become pregnant, it is driving her so crazy she doesn't want to go through with it! (ותאמר אם כן למה זה אנכי)

It is only the blessing from the prophet (25:23) that calms her and gets her to go through with it:

And the Lord said to her, "Two nations are in your womb, and two kingdoms will separate from your innards, and one kingdom will become mightier than the other kingdom, and the elder will serve the younger.

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה לָ֗הּ שְׁנֵ֤י גוֹיִם֙ (כתיב גיים) בְּבִטְנֵ֔ךְ וּשְׁנֵ֣י לְאֻמִּ֔ים מִמֵּעַ֖יִךְ יִפָּרֵ֑דוּ וּלְאֹם֙ מִלְאֹ֣ם יֶֽאֱמָ֔ץ וְרַ֖ב יַֽעֲבֹ֥ד צָעִֽיר:

We can take this entire discussion to a new understanding of how the Haggadah depicts Lavan. There he is compared to Pharaoh and deemed to be worse than Pharaoh, for "Pharaoh only decreed to kill baby boys, while Lavan wanted to uproot everything." The question is, at what stage did Lavan want to uproot everything? After Yaakov's children were born, when Lavan declared "The daughters are mine, the sons are mine... and all that you have is mine..."? Or was Lavan looking to uproot everything, everything that Avraham stood for, by "blessing" Rivkah with lots of children so most of them would turn out like him?

As it turns out Rivkah gave birth to two sons. And if we had to categorize any of them into a Lavan category, since with 2 there is no majority, 1 out of 2 - Eisav - can certainly qualify for being in the category of what Lavan would be proud of. 

Did Eisav turn out that way because of Lavan's blessing? Who is to know? 

At the very least, however, we can see how Lavan's blessing not only might have been coming from a sinister place, but may have had an impact that affected the descendants of Avraham immediately, and continues through this very day.