No - You Can't Lead the Davening

Or - Having a Yarzeit Doesn't Give You Rights

Or - You Really Need to Be Merutzeh La'Kahal

Or - You Might Think You're Pavaratti But the Rest of Us Are In Pain

Or - When It's Time To Hang Up the Boxing Gloves

In discussing with other Rabbinic colleagues, I have found that a relatively common problem in many shuls is how to tell someone he can no longer serve as Shaliach Tzibbur on Shabbos or holidays?

No Dilemma

There are circumstances in which everyone understands. If the individual in question is a blatant sinner such as he cheats on his wife, he has been convicted of a crime (after he has served his time is a different question, particularly if he has done Teshuvah and is no longer engaging in that activity), or if he has a nasty personality that no one wants to serve as their representative, there is not much explaining necessary.

Defining the Problem

More often, the objection that comes up is that the person, while a fine person with good middos, can't carry a tune, or doesn't know the proper nusach, or makes many mistakes in ivrah (pronunciation of Hebrew, including making basic mistakes when decoding vowels and consonants). And yet the person wants to lead the davening - sometimes just any given day, and sometimes for a yarzeit (anniversary of death). And even for the yarzeit, some people have come to a conclusion that they have an obligation to lead the davening. Never mind that no such "obligation" exists - though proper yarzeit observances will be addressed later! And certainly there is no requirement of the tzibbur to grant such a request, and no obligation to succumb to such a demand, simply because someone is observing a yarzeit. 

Yarzeit is not "An Exception"

And just to be clear, in either case, halakha does not grant any credence to anyone's yarzeit observance "synagogue obligations" except when observing a yarzeit for a parent. Not for a brother or sister, not for a deceased wife, not even for the observance of the yarzeit of a son or daughter. A shul may give an aliyah, and may offer the person to lead the davening, if there is no one else who a. has a higher level of "chiyuv" and b. the person is otherwise me'rutzeh la'kahal. Everyone (at least in most Ashkenazic shuls) is welcome to say Kaddish! But that is personal, and does not put any burden on the congregation. (We'll see at the end that all yarzeit observances are personal and are not obligated upon the tzibbur to suffer through if the person observing the yarzeit is not desired by the congregation) 

Nothing Personal! Accepting Reality...

In other words, denying someone the "right" to lead the davening is not personal. But it is a very serious k'vod HaTzibbur issue in that the Tefillah experience in the hands of someone with negative skills (as defined above in "Defining the Problem," but also addressed below in "Halakha's Criteria" and "Other Factors?"), as a result, ranges from being unpleasant to painful to unbearable to the congregation. And the only person who doesn't realize it is this person who, for whatever reasons, really really wants to lead the davening. Perhaps the person's motivation is slightly ego-driven. Or perhaps the person is completely unaware. And to be fair, there are some people who may have once-upon-a-time led the davening nicely, but as the years go on, the person's hearing is different, the person's range changes, and the person's abilities of yesteryear are simply not what they were. Not only are they not what they were, but they are no longer even in the category of "pareve" or "nothing special" but they are a turn-off to the congregation.

Where Halakha Comes Into the Discussion

There are a few halakhic terms which come into play at this point.

1. Is the person me'rutzeh la'kahal? [Desired by and acceptable to the congregation]  [Once again I note that this is not personal. The person may be a very fine person - it is the so-called skills of the individual which are not desired!]

2. Does the person's performance fulfill the concept of kavod ha'tzibbur? [Does it bring honor to the congregation and the Tefillah experience of all present?]

3. Does the prayer experience become a tircha d'tzibbura? [Is it an unfair experience to subject the congregation to have to hear and sit through, especially when painfully drawn out?]

And perhaps most importantly....

4. Is giving this person the opportunity to lead the davening a violation of lifnei iver lo si-ten mikhshol (Vayikra 19:14), not to put a stumbling block before the blind, putting the congregation in a position of inevitably speaking Lashon Hora about the shaliach tzibbur?

THIS (#4) IS THE BIGGEST ISSUE AT PLAY HERE, THAT A PERSON IN DENIAL IS COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF - YOU ARE SETTING EVERYONE UP FOR FAILURE.

In Halakha there are (at least) two discussions surrounding criteria of who can lead the davening. One is for during the week (and in general) and one is specific for the High Holidays. This information can be found in the Shulchan Arukh OC 53, and OC 581:1 (Rama's comments + commentary there). We will confine our remarks here to the former source and commentaries.

Weekdays Are Usually Not a Problem

Most issues I have heard raised are about Shabbos and Yom Tov. The weekday "tune" varies, and it is hard to be "off-key," especially when simply reading or chanting. Also, no one is looking to stretch out the davening or give an unwanted "concert" during the week, so most shuls will have far less of a problem - if any - with someone leading the davening during the week, who might be the subject of this discussion for Shabbos or Yom Tov (unless it is a day when we recite Hallel or Mussaf - such as Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah, or Chol HaMoed).

Halakha's Criteria

Some of the criteria are impossible to insist upon, such as that the person be one who hardly sins, or who never had a negative reputation even in his youth. But in 53:4, he should:

1. be humble

2. be desired by the congregation

3. have a pleasantness about him

4. have a pleasant voice 

5. be a person who reads from Tana"kh regularly (in other words, skilled at reading Hebrew fluently)

6. If it is impossible to find someone with the above qualifications, the person who is wisest and has the best reputation of doing good-deeds is preferred.

In 53:10 it says:

The emissary who lengthens his tefillah so the people can hear what a lovely voice he has... if he's doing this because he has joy in his heart and is giving thanks to God with pleasantness, he should be blessed, as long as he leads the prayers with humilty, and stands before the Almighty with awe and trepidation. BUT if he is doing it to show off, and he rejoices in his own voice, this is viewed as being negative behavior, undesirable, especially when his lengthening the davening causes tircha d'tzibura (a burden on the congregation)

The Mishneh Berurah notes that while a "blemished" person who is known to the congregation is not  considered blemished, a fine quality is someone who is לב נשבר ונדכה - in other words, someone who is humble and emotionally a good fit for the congregation. This might not be easily findable nowadays since, unfortunately, many people are jaded and don't demonstrate such emotion, but the other criteria of having a pleasantness PLUS a pleasant voice is often enough readily found.

Someone who is a ba'al machlokes (someone who has a very disagreeable character) is not worthy to represent the Tzibbur. This is not to say that people can never have disputes - but they need to be resolved so a person can represent ALL members of the congregation. 

Mishneh Berurah 53:38 quotes Teshuvas R'i B'rona that someone whose voice has become ruined and sounds "off" is pasul - disqualified from leading the davening. 

Other Factors?

The person should not be arrogant, nor pushy about leading the davening. Anyone who pushes to lead is actually NOT supposed to lead. The only person who is to go up to lead davening without being asked is a hired/employed Chazzan. Otherwise there is to be an appointment regimen in every shul. And this applies to any aspect of leading davening, or reading the Torah or the Haftorah. And really, the key criteria that should be employed is “will those in the Tzibbur have a pleasant experience, or will they talk badly about the person who led the davening?”

To give a simple example of discernible criteria: There are some people who do not have the nicest voice, but they can carry a tune, can pick pleasant melodies that engage the tzibbur, and can sing on-key. This is FAR MORE DESIRABLE than someone who believes he has a nice voice (but doesn't!), believes he can carry a tune (but he is tone deaf!) and believes he is on-key (when he is way off-key!).

Knowing Our Abilities and Knowing Our Present Reality

Some people know very well that they are a decent "go-to guy" for weekday davening. Or their skill for Shabbos or Yom Tov is limited to leading for Pesukei D'Zimrah. And they are more than content with that. And they are even content with never leading the davening at all.

That is also a mark of humility - having the attitude that "I am available if you ever need me, but I am perfectly fine with never being asked, and with never being the Shaliach Tzibbur." Such an attitude puts no pressure on the gabbai or the tzibbur, and lets everyone know where you stand, if you truly are OK with that.

We have to know our abilities and we have to present well, because if we are opting to be a Shaliach Tzibbur we can’t afford to be an embarrassment to the Tzibbur, or to ourselves. As noted above, there are some people who may have once-upon-a-time been worthy candidates for leading davening based on their abilities years or decades ago, but now those skills have deteriorated.

A Great Measure of Self Awareness

I heard a great line in the name of Cantor Moshe Shulhof: “When you open your mouth and a nice sound comes out, don’t ever think it’s you. God gave you a voice and one day God will take it back.” The Blessing is KNOWING WHEN GOD HAS TAKEN IT BACK, and therefore when to retire those boxing gloves, and just taking a seat on the sideline as a member of the Tzibbur.

The Haftorah - Also Requires Abilities

Some people believe that they honor their deceased parent through reading the Haftorah. Maybe... Maybe, if you read without errors, if you know the trop (cantillation), if you don't stretch what could be a 4-minute reading into a painful 10-minute reading. But if you misread words, skip a number of the cantillations, or don't know the trop all that well, there is no honor given to anyone: not to a parent, not to the tzibbur, and not to you, the person reading. 

Wrong Attitude v Right Attitude

I’ve heard it argued, “I have to honor my deceased parent through davening for the Amud.”

I've also heard, “It is more kavodik to my father to not fight than to insist on davening, make a big deal, or to carry a grudge.” 

Obviously the latter attitude is more humble. And particularly if the former attitude is accompanied by a davening that is not respectful to the tzibbur because the person either doesn't have the right skills or has waned-skills which are no longer adequate for the congregation, then the former attitude is entirely wrong. 

Why Yarzeit is Not an Exception - A Mini-Essay to Conclude

In Halakha, a yarzeit is considered to be a day of difficulty for the Neshama – which is why the person observing the yarzeit needs to do whatever the person can do to bring a merit to the Neshama, to the soul of the deceased. Our tradition lists a number of practices, some are infrequently observed. All of them are very personal, as they are meant to impact the life of the person observing the yarzeit, and no one else.  The Chelkas Yaakov, Rabbi Mordechai Yaakov Breisch of Switzerland, listed a number of these in his teshuva in YD 233

1.      Fasting

2.      Doing Teshuvah

3.      Making a siyum on a Masechet

4.      Learning Mishnayos

5.      Saying Kaddish

Most of the halakhic sources that discuss this speak of getting an Aliyah, of reading the maftir – which presumably includes the Haftorah (though this is not necessarily clear - the Maftir is usually 3-5 Pesukim versus the Haftorah which is typically 21 or more!), and of leading the davening for Maariv on Saturday night, because it is a segulah for the neshama, because on Saturday night, souls who are unworthy, who don’t have people building merits for them, return to Gehinnom at that time. Shabbos is a day when the soul rests from whatever negative experiences it may be undergoing. So Saturday night is a good opportunity to build merits for the soul. 

 Everything else – and this can be seen in a lengthy comment of the Rama on YD siman 376:4 – focuses on the recitation of Kaddish. Who says which kaddish? Who has the merit to be מתפלל ומקדש ברבים – brings a merit to the soul. This discussion has largely become a moot point in Ashkenazic shuls because all those saying Kaddish, mourners and those observing yarzeit alike, all say it together. [This was different once-upon-a-time, and is still practiced in some Yekkishe communities. One can only imagine the kinds of fights which took place in shuls when people were clamoring to be the sole person saying the kaddish.] 

 There are others practices as well. Lighting a candle is a kabbalistic practice based on the verse of נר ה' נשמת אדם, though there are other explanations for the practice. 

 As it turns out, the idea of leading the davening on the yarzeit in general is weighed down by a different concern in halakha. It turns out that it isn’t an automatic that someone who has a yarzeit gets to daven. Even in mentioning the practice, the Rama calls it a minhag (custom), while he uses the language of מצוה להתענות ביום שמת אב או אם. It is a "mitzvah" to fast on the yarzeit for a parent. So which is more important? A minhag, or a “mitzvah?” 

 It has been noted above that halakha really drives home the need for the Shaliach Tzibbur to be מרוצה לקהל. Note, firstly, that he is called the Shaliach - appointed emissary - of the congregation. So he has no rights unless he is asked. Secondly, the congregation must want him to lead, no matter how much he wants to lead. It is a category too often ignored in shuls, but I think it is very important, not just for the congregation, but for the person with the yarzeit. And it is a category which takes priority regardless of anyone's feelings. The Tzibbur's desires are far more important than the individual's desires. 

 Let us examine this through a story of a Chazzan that no longer had a voice, but was very Merutzeh La'Kahal - a clear exception to everything written above. 

 One of the tunes Shlomo Carlebach made famous in a recording was the niggun of the Blind Chazzan. Who was the blind chazzan? We only know this story because he told it from a personal experience. 

 Shlomo Carlebach was in a shul in Europe one Shabbos, when much to his dismay he found that the chazzan had no voice. NO voice. And he couldn’t read the Hebrew! And his melodies were terrible. SC assumed it was some rich guy who gave a lot of money so he could daven. And he decided, in anger, to daven B’y’chidus - alone, not participating with the congregation and this unworthy "chazzan". Better that than have a turned-off tefillah experience because of this unworthy person. 

 But when they took out the Torah, he didn’t want to disrespect the Torah. So he went over, only to see there were two people holding the Chazzan as he held the Torah. 

 "Why are they holding him?" 

 "Don't you know who that is? That's the blind Chazzan… He was the most famous tenor! People came from miles around to hear him. But he was tortured by the Nazis…   He didn’t want to daven. We told him, 'No, we remember how you davened in Lemberg!'" 

 Carlebach was ashamed – and instead of kissing the Torah, he kissed the Chazzan's hands. The Chazzan asked "Who kissed my hands?" They told him it was Shlomo Carlebach. The Chazzan smiled and told him, "Shlomo, I like your niggunim." 

 While this story is an exception, because a person with no voice who could no longer say the words was wanted by the congregation, that circumstance is obviously different than anything we encounter. This was a Chazzan who lost everything because he was beaten by the Nazis, and he didn't want to lead the davening. For that congregation to have him lead was a great honor for them. 

 In our congregations though, someone who leads like that is a disgrace to the congregation, because people who lead like that now do not have the excuse that they were Holocaust survivors tortured by the Nazis. And so we will be judgmental, because we are human. 

 Carlebach admitted he was wrong. But how often do we encounter the Blind Chazzan from Lemberg? We don't. So that exception is null. 

 So yes, even someone observing a yarzeit for a parent must have an honest personal, and if need be, direct from an objective party, assessment.

 You want an Aliyah? No problem. Lead the prayers for most weekday davenings? – usually not a problem. Pesukei D’zimrah on Shabbos morning – usually not a problem. But to be the Baal Tefillah Friday night, or for Shacharis or Mussaf, the person needs to be aware! And the same is true for every Yom Tov, any Tefillah with Hallel, and certainly for the Yamim Noraim! 

 Mourning practices and yarzeit observances are meant to be private and personal. The yarzeit observer should take a personal reckoning. "Am I fasting? Am I reading Tehillim? Am I learning mishnayos? [Mishneh and Neshama have the same letters, which is a source for their connection.] Am I making a siyum? Am I being sure to say the kaddish? Did I light my candle? None of these impact anyone else. If I can get an Aliyah to the Torah, great. And if can’t? That needs to be fine with me too.

"But once I’m reading the Haftorah – I better know how to read it. Once I’m hoping to lead the davening, I must fit into the category of being מרוצה לקהל because I can sing on key, carry a tune, and be overall pleasing to the congregation."

And if the answer is "I don't belong up there because I don't fit the criteria, I don't have the skills, or I will cause people to speak badly about me" then the best place to be during tefillah is at your seat, honoring the deceased parent through being a part of the Tzibbur, not imposing yourself on the Tzibbur, and saying Kaddish to honor the parent's memory.