Bringing Back Majesty

Parshat Shoftim 

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

The rules for how to appoint a king are followed by a few personal rules and restrictions which the Torah places on a him: he is supposed to be an observant Jew (with all that entails), and he may not have any excess of horses, money, or too many wives.

Beyond that the Torah gives him specific commandments once he is on the throne. He has to have a Torah written for himself, which he is to read every day, so he should be God-fearing, and observe the Torah properly. The regular reading of Torah is supposed to impact one’s character (Ibn Ezra). Midrash Tanaim suggest the daily readings are meant to be a time filler. When he is not busy with other things – his family, his job, etc – this is how he is to fill his time. And through his learning, and even more so through his teaching and preaching, he will come to fear God.

Alshikh notes how the three restrictions suggest a parallel to the three different kinds of crowns discussed in Avot and Shmos Rabba – the crown of Torah, Kehunah (Priesthood), and Malchut (Kingship). Torah is the only one open to all, and is the key to success in the other two. A king or Kohen without Torah will be a failure. But someone who acquires Torah has the chance to achieve Kehunah and Malchut – not in terms of becoming a Kohen or a King (those are based on birth), but in terms of taking Majesty upon oneself.

Alshikh goes one step further, because there is a 4th crown as well, the crown of a good name – the Keter Shem Tov – which is achieved when people say, “That’s a good man. That’s a good woman. What a cheerful, positive soul. I wish I could be like that.” True majesty.

He explains that the acquisition of this good name comes from the best self-help book in the world that addresses every social and religious character building skill we might need to achieve the coveted majesty: the Torah. But we have to study well, learn hard, to find all that the Torah can teach us.

Shammai famously taught that a person should set regular time for Torah study, and fascinatingly in that same list of his top 3 teachings, he says to greet everyone with a smiling countenance. This is the first step to achieving majesty.

Rabbi Yishmael has a similar teaching in Avot 3:12 – “You should greet everyone with joy!” In other words, maybe the door to majesty begins with being happy.

In Avot D’rabi Nasan, the teaching of Shammai is stepped up a level – the Majestic countenance is achieved through making another person feel good. A person who gives someone else money but has a sour face at the time is counted as having given nothing. But a person who gives nothing but a smile is considered as if having given a lot of money.

Anyone who has children and grandchildren knows this. The gifts are nice. But more, they want to be told that they’re good kids. They want to see a smile. To be told how proud we are of them for all the things they do.

How many people tell their adult children things like that? “Son. Daughter. You work hard. You support yourself, your family. Your children are beautiful. I’m proud of how you are raising them. The choices you make.”

Many people have wonderful personal filters. Some people do not.

As a mohel I see many people interact with their adult children (the parents of a newborn). In many cases, for example, more than wanting their parents to pay for the bris, all they want from the baby’s grandparents is love and support. And those kinds of grandparents of the baby say, “I’m here for you. Let me know how I can help.” Or they just do everything that is needed. These people get it. They are wonderful. Extremely loved and appreciated because they love and appreciate.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen the other side as well. Rolled eyes at all kinds of things. Telling the new parents what to do, how to parent, almost not trusting them to make the choices they need to make, the mistakes they need to make, the lessons they need to learn from experience, not from being told what to do or what not to do. And, sadly, some relationships end over these things. Parents who write off their children, Younger parents who write off their parents, don’t give them access to the grandchildren, etc. All of which is unfortunate and tragic.

So we need to be less critical and more embracing – this includes interactions from parent to smaller children, grandparent to little children, parents and grandparents of adult children. We have to smile more. Be happier. It will change our lives immeasurably.

I’ve heard Dennis Prager, author of “Happiness is a Serious Problem,” argue that people have a moral obligation to be happy. To not be moody. To bring cheer to others.

It’s an imperfect world. We’re not going to do it all the time - burnout is possible. But imagine: if we greet others with a smile, with Simcha, could we leave a room less cheerful than it was when we entered?

Think of people we know who seem to always have a smile on their faces. Don’t we naturally feel happier, more at ease, when we think about them? Now think about the people we know who always seem to be frowning or looking miserable. I rest my case, your honor.

It's a life-challenge for all us in our aim to be more Majestic.

If we can greet people with a smile (Shammai) or, even better, with joy (Rabbi Yishmael), we will achieve Majesty! We will be kinglike! We will carry the Keter Shem Tov with pride and dignity! If we study and know Torah – what is right and wrong, and use it as a guide for moral character development, we will be honored. And if we tell children and grandchildren we believe in them and are proud of them, we will be loved even without giving physical gifts.

Being positive is a challenge – but it is doable. And to be kinglike we must take upon ourselves to do it, as much and as often as possible.