Friday, October 27, 2017

Lot's Tarnished Legacy - And How to Avoid It

Parshat Lekh Lekha

by Rabbi Avi Billet

After returning from their adventures in Egypt, we are told that Avram, his wife, all who were with him, and Lot returned from Egypt and settled between Beit El and Ai, in the place where he had previously built an altar to God.

We are told about his wealth, as defined by the masses of animals he owned. And we are similarly told of Lot’s animal-wealth, both of which, combined, created an untenable situation, in which all of the animals simply could not share the same area.

Grounded in an idea put forth in the Midrash, most of the commentaries agree that the wealth Lot had acquired was through Avram’s merit – the ‘zchut’ of Avram. They don’t say Avram gave him his possessions, or that he didn’t build that wealth himself. They do say that his achievements were as successful as they were because of who his uncle was.

The major problem with Lot, Malbim explains, is that despite this being quite clear, Lot did not acknowledge this reality, or the gratitude he should have displayed towards his uncle.

This might help us understand why years later, a nation descending from Lot could go so far as to try to curse Israel – Moav were the ones who sent emissaries to hire Bilaam in Bamidbar 22. And thus the prophets Micha, Yechezkel, Zephaniah all cursed Amon and Moav to disappear in the future – which they have. Neither Moav or Amon continue to exist in our time.

Despite all this, Avram remains magnanimous and offers Lot to choose where to live. “If you leave, I’ll stay, and if you stay I’ll leave.”

While it’s true that Avram’s magnanimity carries the day, why couldn’t he just expand his borders? Because Avraham knew something – that Lot was growing apart from him.

Malbim continues, explaining that their differences in approach to life created a rift. Not so much between them personally, but, as Chazal noted, Lot’s shepherds were not careful about where they’d have Lot’s animals graze.

This explains why the verse in 13:7 notes that the Canaanites and Perizites lived in the land – like proximally close neighbors, they were able to hear the arguments between Avram and Lot, and their being nearby also caused a tremendous amount of anguish and embarrassment to Avram, for the tarnishing of his stellar, honest reputation, caused by the unscrupulous shepherds of his nephew.

The presence of the Canaanites and Perizites is indicative of another problem Avram faced. These were nations that were distantly related, and yet they seemed to get along. Avram’s argument to his nephew was “if they can get along, we should certainly get along, as we are essentially brothers” (Lot’s father was Avram’s brother).

And despite all this surface tension, Avram’s offer is “you decide where to go, and whatever you decide will determine where I go – whether to the right or the left.” Avram was not abandoning his nephew. He was saying, “I’ll be right near you! If you need me, we’ll always be neighbors!” But Lot’s choice to go towards Sodom was the last straw – not in Avram’s perception of their relationship, but in Lot’s efforts to become his own man, cutting off ties completely from the source of the merit which allowed him to flourish. “And Lot chose the entire Jordan valley, and Lot traveled east. And they separated, the man from his brother.”

It is true that Lot carries with him some traits he picked up in Avram’s home. When the angels arrive in Sodom in chapter 19, Lot is the only one to greet them, he invites them to his home, and he even insists they spend the night. This approach to treating guests comes directly from Avram’s playbook – so the influence is clearly there.

But I think what is also clear is that the three most important lessons Avram wanted Lot to walk away with were completely lost on him.

The first: gratitude to those who helped you.

The second: honesty in dealing with others.

The third: never forgetting God.

Avraham’s generosity of spirit helped Lot become wealthy. It also gave Lot the chance to choose to be a neighbor with Avraham, so the well of life lessons and emotional support would never run dry. Lot was ungrateful and shunned the need for that lifeline. See how his children grew up, as a result, in the city of Sodom, and what became of his only known descendants – the nations of Amon and Moav. Not a very impressive lot (pardon the pun).

Lot let his shepherds run wild in their dishonesty. The need to resort to trickery or cheating for personal gain became the formula utilized by Balak (King of Moav) in hiring Bilaam to curse the Jewish people, and of course in sending the women who enticed the Israelite men, ultimately causing the deaths of 24,000 people. What a legacy.

While Avraham called out to God at every turn and opportunity, Lot chose to move to a place where the people were “evil and sinners towards God, in abundance.” (13:13)

It’s a very simple lesson – the way to not turn out like Lot and his failed family requires a few important traits to be placed on a pedestal.

Work hard and never forget your roots, expressing gratitude to mentors and those who gave guidance along the way. Be honest at every turn, without resorting to tricks and shtick to achieve dishonest goals. And never forget or neglect God, whose presence keeps us grounded, and whose morals guide us to be the best people we can be.

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