Take Your Judaism Seriously? Then it's time to OPT IN

Parshat Ki Tetze

by Rabbi Avi Billet

When I was in high school, one of my teachers was fond of asking us, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The answer he was always looking for was, “I want to be an eved Hashem – a servant of God.”

The truth is, for the Jew who takes Judaism seriously, this is the only answer we should be able to give with certainty. People change careers all the time. Some professions are not for everybody. I know of lawyers who have left their field to go into rabbinics, rabbis who have made the opposite move, and trained doctors who have dropped everything to pursue careers in business and entrepreneurship.

I’ve heard a fair dose of “inspirational speakers” in my life. And one question they often present is “Do you keep all 613 mitzvos?” For a person looking to be an "eved Hashem" it's a good question to consider. However, doing so is actually impossible for a number of reasons. Firstly, without a Temple in Jerusalem, more than half the commandments of the Torah cannot be fulfilled. Secondly, some mitzvoth of the Torah are only for men, some only for women, some only for a king, some only for kohanim (priests), etc. Thirdly, some of the mitzvoth of the Torah can be fit into a category of what I call “optional.”

For example, in last week’s Torah portion, one can argue that the way the appointment of a king is presented, it is optional to have a king (17:14-15). (I know most mitzvah-list codifiers present it as obligatory.) Two weeks ago, we were informed that “when you decide you want to eat meat, here is how you prepare it.” There is no mitzvah to slaughter an animal “just because” – only if you intend to eat it (or for a sacrifice…)

This week we read of the case of the “y’fat to’ar” – the woman from an enemy nation who is captured during a war and brought home to possibly become the paramour of the soldier who takes her. There is no mitzvah to take her home. But should the soldier succumb to his desires and passions, the Torah tell us he has the option to take her home if he follows the instructions outlined in the text.

Towards the end of our parsha we find another mitzvah which is “optional” as it is only for those who end their marriages through divorce – the writing of a “get.” (24:1) Of course, when a marriage ends, the “get” is not optional, but one need not purposely get divorced just to fulfill this mitzvah. I would argue that most people would prefer to not make this mitzvah obligatory, as divorce is usually a last resort after all options have been exhausted.

So what are we left with? I have a list of over 50 mitzvot that can be couched this way including, from this week’s portion, putting tzitzit on clothes – you have the option to never wear a four cornered garment (22:19), and from last week’s portion, the mitzvah for the blood redeemer (a relative) to kill a murderer – he is not obligated to avenge the blood of his relative (19:6,12). He may choose to let the murderer live.

Particularly in our world where “free choice” and individualism is so heavily emphasized, anyone can choose to fulfill any mitzvah or neglect it. Some choose to never keep kosher or readily violate the rules. Some ignore Shabbos. Some never wear tefillin. I see many men who ignore the rules of shaving the corner of the head (leaving payot), and I know there are men who shave with a razor.

But what is most disturbing is the manner in which people are content with where they are in their Jewish experience, thinking they know what they need to know, thinking their level of observance is sufficient, thinking they’ve reached the height of their spiritual journey.

I see this in kids who are uninitiated. Whether they are uninspired by their teachers, or their parents have dropped the ball. Or, perhaps in some cases, the kids are difficult. But with all the preparation that goes into bar and bat mitzvah celebrations, not to mention the expense in many cases, how could there be a young man over age 13 who doesn’t go to minyan 3 times a day? In all honesty, until she becomes a mother, how could there be a young woman over 12 – in our women’s lib world – who doesn’t go to minyan 3 times a day? What are we celebrating and dancing for if it’s all about the party and not about the Jewish life that is to be lived continuing immediately from training that has brought the child to this moment?

How is it that children don’t feel a minimal sense of responsibility to learn more about their heritage, to put time into their growth as a Jew, to not plateau at bar or bat mitzvah but to grow way above and beyond whatever was done “in preparation” for the big day?

How do committed Jewish adults attend no classes, have no chavrutot (study sessions), sleep through or walk out of sermons, and show up to prayers – late yet – only on Shabbos morning, and not even Shabbos afternoon? Where else does one need to be on Shabbos?

Rosh Hashana is fast approaching. It is time to distinguish between the optional mitzvoth that we need not pursue versus those that define our lives as Jews day in and day out. And which are very definitely not "optional."

If each of us is to live up to our mandate of being an “eved Hashem” – a servant of God – we ought to take the steps necessary to become the best servants we can possible be.