Can't Go To War Without Reaching the Beginning

Parshat Shoftim 

by Rabbi Avi Billet 

A man who builds a new house, plants a vineyard or who betrothed himself to a woman, in each case without enjoying the next stage – living in the house, redeeming the first crop, or actually marrying the woman – is exempt from battle in a “milchemet r’shut,” a non-defensive war, a war that is not commanded, such as against Amalek. (20:5-8)

These three categories are rounded out with the ultimate person who does not belong on the battlefield, the person who is afraid.

While we can understand why the fearful person should go home, his attitude could potentially be infectious thus debilitating to his squadron, the other three require more attention.

One might assume the builder, planter and nearly married are exempt because their mind is elsewhere. They are thinking about their house, vineyard, fiancé and can’t do justice to the battlefield. Ibn Ezra suggests that in the heat of the battle, this person may run from the battlefield because his interests are back home and not in facing the enemy before him. This attitude would be more understandable, however, in a person who knows what he is missing because he is living in the house, knows how good his vineyard is, and truly loves his wife, and children, if he has children.

One might argue that the person who understands what he has on the line, what he stands to lose if the battle goes the wrong way may be better equipped to fight intelligently. The novice in homemaking, vineyard tending or marriage will have less of an idea of what is at stake, as each new life-project is merely a dream he hopes to live out, and thus he might be a little more foolish, and possibly dangerous to himself and others on the battlefield.

The Talmud claims the merits of the builder, planter, and betrothed are less than those of others, and in a war controlled by divine providence (overseeing natural events), they may be more prone to being killed. (Sotah 43a-b)

The odd thing is, though, that the only thing the three people have in common is their beginning a new project in life. The builder could be moving his family from a smaller house to a bigger house. The planter may have many fields, but this is a new vineyard to add to his multitudes. And the betrothed could be on the precipice of a second marriage, or perhaps even taking a second wife (in Biblical times polygamy was permissible – see Abraham, Jacob, Elkanah, many kings).

The Torah says the reason each one should not go out to war is not because of fear, nor because of a lack of merits, nor because of inexperience in battle. The person may very well have a family he is looking to protect, wealth he is otherwise looking to enjoy or make good use of, or he has been married (or currently is married to another woman). The reason is because “perhaps he will die and another man will [take his house, vineyard or fiancé for himself.]”

As any person who goes out to war may die, it seems that the number one concern is that another man may take his property, not death. Midrashic literature refers to this man as a “nokhri” – a stranger. Whether this stranger is a Jew he does not know or a non-Jew is unclear, but since the law is raised in the context of Jews living in the land of Israel, we can assume it refers to a Jew he does not know.

So what is so terrible? We know war is horrible, and the consequences in the human realm – death, maiming, permanent physical or emotional damage – are most undesirable. But it is a reality those who engage in warfare know they must face. Try as we might not to think about it, it happens. The outcome of death in battle is that a person is no longer around to protect his assets and interests. What makes this fear, losing one’s assets to a stranger, the cause for turning soldiers into workmen who repair roads and bring food to the fighters in lieu of fighting? (Mishnah Sotah 8:2)

The Talmud (Sotah 44a) suggests the order of people involved in new life endeavors who are exempt from war as presented is meant to teach a way of life. Build a home, then begin working and maintaining an income, then marry – in that order. For practical reasons, of course. This is an important lesson, but it does not answer our question.

For a person starting out, not being able to even embark on an adventure, losing one’s assets to a stranger, combine to give a person a tremendous sense of loss and depression. Of course if a person dies in battle, the person will not have such feelings. But if a goal of ours is to leave our mark on this earth so our life seems meaningful beyond our own mortal existence, humans need to feel, at the very least, “I started a project and brought it to its point of beginning. Not only did I build the house, I started to live in it. Not only did I plant the vine, I was able to benefit from its fruit. Not only did I meet the right person, I married and began to build a Jewish home.” Until we can feel that completion of the beginning of a new task, we can not comfortably go out to war.

We need to feel we have taken something beyond the base level to make the accomplishment our own. This is not something we want others to do.

“I introduced the couple and helped them talk to each other.” “I helped raise money for a cause, and personally delivered the check and watched the money be put to good use.” “I came up with the idea, got the ball rolling and set things in motion for the next person to take over.”

With this attitude prevailing, “My mission can be taken over by someone else for I have done my part and left it open for such change,” anyone can be comfortable going out to war.

Of course, we are left with a question - one for which I don't have a good answer. And sadly, it has been a reality too often in Israel's most recent wars. If the man who hasn't yet lived with his betrothed must go home, it stands to reason that if he has lived with her, he may go out to war. And if he should fall in battle - what then? He may have achieved his goal of getting his beginnings to move along, but what of his young widow? What becomes of her and her dreams, which have now been shattered to millions of pieces? I don't know...