Vayishlach
– An Affair To Remember
On Thursday I had the very special privilege, along with
many other Jews, to attend a wedding. Amazingly, it was held in my living room
– which certainly made attending it very easy. My wife was there too, as were
some of my kids. I didn’t shower or dress up special for this wedding. I had
the audacity to bring a computer and do work during the wedding. But of course
it was the computer that allowed us to attend, because the wedding was brought
into our home via livestream. Maybe some of you were there too.
I wasn’t sure if I should go. It was a last minute
invitation. I don’t really know the families. But I am glad that I went.
Because this was indeed a very special wedding.
Yaakov and Netanel Litman, father and son, were murderedin Israel a little over two weeks ago, on their way to the Aufruf Shabbos of
their daughter and sister Sarah Tehiya’s fiancée, Ariel Beigel.
The
wedding was pushed off on account of shiva, and the couple decided to invite
all of Am Yisrael to come, to dance, to rejoice, to be משמח חתן וכלה.
The
venue changed. Now to Binyanei Ha’Umah. The guest list ended up including both
Chief Rabbis and many other noted rabbinic figures in Israel, Sara Netanyahuwas in attendance, some celebrity Jewish singers came and offered their voices
to enhance the festivities.
The
bereaved bride and her family pulled all the stops on their sorrow, and were so
beautifully distracted from the pain in their life, on this evening.
People
came from around the world. They were interviewed or just showed up on the
livestream. A man from Barcelona, never been to Israel. Heard he was invited.
Decided to come. A family from Montreal used money they had saved to renovate
their basement to attend this wedding instead.
I
saw a man from South Africa describe how he knew he had to be here. So he
picked up and came. People from the States, Canada, Australia, Belgium, other
European countries. We should never know the suffering this family has endured.
God bless those who have so generously given gifts to this couple. They’ve been
given a car, rent covered for three years, supplies of food, thousands of
dollars in wedding gift funds. They should be blessed to become a credit to
Klal Yisrael because the joy at this wedding, thousands of people who do not
know one another, but who share a common destiny to sing Am Yisrael Chai, Od
Avinu Chai. It was incredible to see. Google the stories, read the articles,
watch the videos. You too can attend the wedding – even a few days late – and
you too can rejoice. You won’t regret it.
At
one point, late in the evening, there was a call out to the people celebrating
inside – please leave, there are over a thousand people outside waiting to come
in.
And the people outside were not
waiting to celebrate – this international wedding. How often does the nation
get to celebrate something real together – especially in the face
of grief? Not often. We saw thousands gather to pray on behalf of the kidnapped
boys two summers ago. But there was nothing to celebrate. This wedding, on theother hand, was truly something special – truly an affair to remember.
There
are affairs that are forgettable. The kind in the film of this name with Cary
Grant and Deborah Kerr -- that’s for Hollywood.
But
in our parsha, we have real drama – the rape of Dina, an otherwise regrettable
and forgettable affair.
We
have the incident with Reuven and Bilhah. Whatever happened there – certainly a
regrettable and forgettable affair.
The
death of Rachel – grief does not describe the sadness of that affair.
So
let us look at one other affair – a positive one, that actually happens twice.
The changing of Yaakov’s name to Yisrael.
IN
Parshas Shlach, when the Torah describes how Moshe changed Hoshea’s name to
Yehoshua, the Chizkuni explains that People’s
names are changed when they find favor in Hashem’s eyes. Avraham, Sarah,
Yaakov, Daniel, Chananya Mishael Azarya all have their names changed by God.
And the Hadar Zekenim explains that this concept is not limited to Hashem’s
changing people’s names, as Pharaoh will be changing Yosef’s name in a couple
of weeks as well.
And it is absolutely true for Yaakov.
What does “Yaakov” mean? It can be
misunderstood. It was probably given to him because he held onto Eisav’s heel
when he was born. Both Avraham and later Yitzchak were told by God “You are
blessed עקב אשר שמעת בקולי –
because you hearkened to My voice. Eikev is neutral but its result is good.
On the other hand, we have Eisav’s
declaration that “his name is יעקב because ויעקבני זה פעמים,” he tricked me, or went around me twice. The heel, after all, pivots,
and יעקב, as
Eisav perceives him, is a shaky character.
But then Yaakov has the struggle
with the איש. The
commentaries go back and forth trying to figure out who Yaakov was fighting
with – whether it was an actual man, an angel – and if so which angel, or if it
was a dream and Yaakov was struggling with himself.
But in the end of the tale, he
receives a blessing. A new name, Yisrael, which means to struggle with God and
to prevail.
The Pesikta says who is it that
Yaakov struggled with? Not just with an angel, not just with God. But that the
struggle represents Yaakov’s fights in the upper spheres and the lower spheres.
In the upper spheres the fight is with an angel. In the lower spheres, it is
with Lavan and Eisav, both of whom seem intent on destroying him.
The Kli Yakar points out that the
word Yisrael also comes from the word Yashar. Which means straight. Not only
that, but in getting his name change, some things are being aligned for our
patriarch in a manner that heretofore had not been clear, on account of those
struggles with Lavan and Eisav. There will be no more trickery. No more
double-speak. Just straight talk. This is one of the reasons he becomes so
upset at Shimon and Levi. They seemed to have spoken using double-talk with
Chamor and Shchem.
But let us understand what Yaakov is
going through with his name change! Remember what it says in Yirmiyahu 40 – the
haftorah of Shabbos Nachamu! והיה העקוב למישור, . The crooked will be made straight! Yaakov will become Yisrael!
And what is the Mishor? Being Yashar בעיני הבריות, in the eyes of the people of the world.
There is no misunderstanding what
Yisrael means. It is straight. It is correct. It is a struggle with God,
but it leads to overcoming that struggle.
And finally, the Seforno gives one
more meaning to the word ישראל. שתשתרר על כל
פליטי האומות. It is a
prophesy for how Israel is to be perceived some time in the future.
Yaakov is not the only one who gets
a new name – as Yisrael. The last of his sons is born, and Rachel, as she is
dying, names him Ben Oni. Most commentaries say it means “The son of my pain.”
But the Malbim points out that און also
means strength. And when Yaakov renamed him, he was not changing the meaning of
the child’s name, but reframing it, so it wouldn’t be misunderstood.
The renaming affairs are most
significant, because their goal is to remove any way of misunderstanding, so
that outside viewers can have clarity as to who this person is, and what they
are perceiving.
“Yaakov” struggled with Eisav. “Yaakov”
was the one who might fall to Eisav. “Yaakov” fought with Lavan. But YISRAEL
will emerge on top. Yisrael is where his destiny lies. Straight. YASHAR. As a שר, as an officer, a ruler, a leader. One who struggles and
triumphs.
And the child of pain is in truth
the child of strength. Because names matter.
The brother of Sara Techiya was
Netanel Chai. The gift of God who lives. He is dead. But my goodness is he ever
alive in the hearts of his family.
And the same is true of their
father. I saw a video of Sarah showing the cameraman her wedding dress, and
recounting how proud her father was to celebrate with her, in her beautiful and
modest wedding dress. And she described how her wedding invitation, which, as
she put it has written, “Under my name ‘Yaakov and Noah Litman.’ But Yaakov’s
name has now changed to Hashem Yikom Damo.”
Yaakov’s name changed! If we follow
the Chizkuni, that a name is changed when people have found favor in God’s
eyes, there is a hint of bracha in this senseless and horrific tragedy. No
doubt everyone would much prefer that lives had been normal for these families.
But what came out of the tragedy? A national – no, international – celebration.
And the changed name inspired a song…
And what song was heard at the
wedding throughout the night? AM YISRAEL CHAI! OD AVINU CHAI!
The nation of YISRAEL LIVES! Our
Father still LIVES!!! Her father Yaakov
is no longer here, but YISRAEL LIVES AND OUR FATHER LIVES! It’s the same thing
that the father of Ziv Misrachi, a soldier who was killed this week, said at
his son’s funeral. Am Yisrael Chai! You won’t break us! This is a song that
will reverberate for this couple until the end of their lives. They became the
poster children for a nation which suffers – still more attacks yesterday. But
they were able to let Am Yisrael celebrate in a manner which Am Yisrael needs.
Thousands came. To show that indeed Am Yisrael Chai.
In thinking about all of this, I was
reminded of a midrash I first heard from Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau. It’s in
Vayikra Rabba and Esther Rabba and other places.
The
enemies of Israel were arguing over which would be more effective in destroying
the Jewish people.
Eisav said Kayin was a fool. Because
he killed his brother while his father and mother were still fertile. I won’t
do that. I’ll wait to kill Yaakov until my father is dead.
Paroh said, Eisav was a fool. By the
time Yitzchak died, Yaakov already had children. You can’t destroy a nation
without killing their children. So I’ll kill all their sons!
Haman said, Paroh was a fool. He
decided to kill the boys, but what about the girls? I’ll destroy them all!
R Levi said, They’re ALL fools. And
even Gog will be a fool. They have all their plans, but they don’t know that עם ישראל has אביהם שבשמים.
It doesn’t mention Lavan – but he
too was a fool. It doesn’t mention the Arab terrorists and their supporters –
whether in academia or the mainstream media. Or in the tyrrannical regimes of
the world.
Names can be changed from whatever
they are to something which is straightforward and understandable – Yisrael, or
even Hashem Yinkom Damo. But the point remains – those who hate and want to
destroy Israel and the Jewish people will not win. They too are fools. The
world will come around and see, as terrorism rears its ugly head in the world
and Western nations will wake up. The Jews may or may not leave Europe,
eventually. But those who are trying to destroy the Jewish people are making
the same mistakes as their predecessors. They don’t remember that we have an אבינו שבשמים who has a different plan than that which all the enemies we
face have.
The force of numbers that came to
this Affair to Remember proved to those to whom it matters that עם ישראל חי. And we should all be proud to be part of a people who shout Am
Yisrael Chai and Od Avinu Chai!
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