In 2009, I wrote an article entitled the "Post Shidduch Crisis" lamenting the number of first time marriages of young people I had personally seen that were dissolved within months. I suppose this is a follow up to that. While there is much more to say, this is a start to an important subject.
Parshat Shemini
by Rabbi Avi Billet
At the beginning of his comment on Vayikra 10:1, Kli Yakar lists 7 or 8 (depending how you count) possible reasons for why Nadav and Avihu died, some recorded in Yalkut Shimoni. One of those reasons is “because they did not take wives.” In explaining each reason, he suggests there is a connection to fire (what took their lives) because “those unmarried are filled with flame of desire and sinful thoughts” (based on Sanhedrin 108b and Kiddushin 81a) [All of the reasons given by the Rabbis are included in a list at the end of this link and an even longer list in the middle of this sermon - in brackets]
Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky asked, “Why did Chazal heap so many possible sins on these “Kedoshim” (how Moshe referred to them)? Why wasn’t the Torah’s explanation – they died for bringing a strange fire they had not been commanded to bring – sufficient?” He answers (as does Kli Yakar) that all of the sins in question focus on a “Nekudah Merkazit” (main point) of haughtiness, and in the case of this specific “reason,” of thinking they were better than all prospective brides.
The Zohar has unflattering things to say about someone who goes unmarried (see the comments below this article), and notes that this was a blemish in Nadav and Avihu, which contributed to God removing them from preventing His presence to fully be brought into the Mishkan.
