An article by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik - http://etzion.org.il/en/avelut-yeshanah-and-avelut-chadashah
Different things to be mournful of in our days:
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2010/07/time-to-mourn.html
http://arabbiwithoutacause.blogspot.com/2011/08/merits-of-performance.html
I.
MINIMIZING JOY during the Month of Av
A.
Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik compared the
mourning of these 9 days to the style of mourning for a Shloshim period – the
30 days following the death of a loved one. As such, the mourning practices of
this period are intended to be a little stricter than the ones we’ve observed
since 17 Tammuz, to help us be more prepared for the ultimate day of mourning,
Tisha B’Av.
B.
One minimizes joy through disengaging from practices
which give us heightened joy, such as listening to some forms of music andhaving weddings (extension from 17 Tammuz), doing cosmetic or other enjoyable
construction (the kinds which can be delayed), eating meat and drinking wine, taking
haircuts, and pleasurable bathing and washing – of both body and clothing.
A.
The most agreed upon definition of “joy” from
laundry is wearing freshly laundered garments. As such it is recommended to run
“final” loads of laundry before Rosh Chodesh (Friday July 13, 2018), and to
wear any outer garments for a brief period of time to remove the “freshness.”
Garments which have been sitting on a shelf, in a drawer, or hanging in a
closet for a long time are arguably no longer “fresh,” but one who wants to be
strict should wear them briefly if one intends to wear them during the 9 Days.
B.
Undergarments and socks need not be worn
briefly in advance of the 9 days.
C.
There is a difference of opinion as to whether freshly
laundered clothing may be worn on Shabbat during the 9 Days (there are 2
Shabbatot this year!). Either route you choose has support in halakha.
D.
If it is possible to not do laundry at all
during the 9 Days, that is preferred. However, exceptions to the rule of
laundering apply to all children’s clothes, a garment that is absolutely
needed, if a person has nothing else to wear, and laundering for one’s business
(such as a dry cleaner). Additionally, if there is a small stain on a garment
someone is wearing, that stain may be addressed directly, without laundering
the entire garment.
E.
If laundry needs to be done in advance of a
trip taking place the day after Tisha B’Av, the laundry can be cleaned and folded,
but one should refrain from wearing the freshly laundered clothing as per “A”
above.
A.
The strictest laws allow for washing face,
hands and feet but not for other washing during the 9 Days. The exception is a
cold shower in advance of Shabbat.
B.
Owing to the realities of our time, where we
live (where the average daily temperature is between 85-95), and the fact that
most of us fit into the category of istonis (people with a heightened
sensitivity to a lack of hygiene), the strict practice of not bathing during
the 9 Days need not be practiced. Rather, to minimize joy in this regard,
consider lowering the temperature of the water and minimizing one’s time in the
shower. Follow this simple rule: “Take care of business as quickly as possible
then get out of the shower.”
C.
There are differences of opinion as to the
propriety of going into a swimming pool. Many poskim are of the view that if
one needs to enter the pool for health reasons – such as rehab, instructional
swim, or to cool off on a very hot day – then one may do so. If a person can do
without it, then it is better to avoid it.
D.
CUTTING NAILS – Ta”z does not allow it; Magen
Avraham allows it. A woman preparing for mikveh may cut her nails. Some allow
cutting the nails on Friday in preparation for Shabbat. Whatever can be done in
advance of the 9 days is preferred.
E.
HAIRCUTS and SHAVING – Inasmuch as the Nine
Days is similar to the mourning of “Shloshim,” men and women should not get
haircuts during this period. As far as shaving goes, men who can avoid shaving
without being ostracized socially should not shave. At the very least, a man
should not shave during the week in which Tisha B’Av falls (which this year is
only Tisha B’Av itself). Some poskim allow shaving on Erev Shabbat. Women may
shave legs during the Nine Days (Rav Shimon Eider, quoting Rav Moshe Feinstein)
IV.
MEAT AND WINE
A.
The Ashkenazic custom is to avoid eating meat
and drinking wine during the 9 Days. Sefardim follow this rule during the week
in which 9 Av falls.
B.
Meat and wine are permitted on Shabbat.
C.
Wine is not recommended for Havdalah – better to
use a “Shehakol” drink such as beer. If beer (or some other alcoholic drink) is
not available, use grape juice. Even though it is a “Borei Pri Hagafen”
beverage, it does not create the “simcha” (joyous feeling) that wine brings.
D.
The practice of having a siyum in order to eat
meat has mixed reviews amongst the poskim. Some allowed it, and some felt that
if we’re specifically scheduling siyums to eat meat, or if we don’t normally
have a meat meal when we have a siyum, then this is just an attempt to avoid
the aveilut we should be feeling and experiencing..
E.
A timely mitzvah, such as a bris or pidyon
haben, may include a meat meal.
V.
CESSATION OF THESE PRACTICES
A.
This year, with Tisha B’Av being observed on
the 10th of Av (pushed to Sunday from Shabbat), all practices of
mourning end with the cessation of “Tisha B’Av” on Sunday night, as the 11th
of Av begins.
B.
Remember that before eating anything (including
if one must break the fast for medical reasons), Havdalah should be recited.
Borei Pri Hagafen and Hamavdil.
C.
One may cut one’s hair, do laundry, shower, etc
on Sunday night.
D.
Some have the custom to avoid eating meat until
the following morning.
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