Friday, June 12, 2020

The Beautiful Side of Second Chances

Parshat B'haalos'kha

by Rabbi Avi Billet

Our parsha is filled with people having Second Chances: Chances to make better decisions, chances to rebuild, chances to try again, and to do it right. 

Aharon could have given up after the deaths of his sons. I don’t need this position. What does it do for ME? If my sons are not around to take part, what am I living for anyway? He does not do this – instead he rises to light the Menorah. 

Tribe of Levi was the third tribe on the totem pole. And yet, through the negative behaviors of Reuven and Shimon, and the overwhelmingly positive choices made by the Levites, they became designated as the ones to serve the Kohanim and God in the Mishkan. For ALL TIME. He works 20-25 years. And then his pension kicks in – ולא יעבד עוד. How’s that for nice living? 

The whole idea of a makeup day for having missing the Korban Pesach seems counter to what a timely Mitzvah – מצוות עשה שהזמן גרמא – is all about. You missed it? You missed it! There’s always next year! But no, if you had a legitimate excuse for missing it, you can make it up. Why is this mitzvah different from any other timely mitzvah – typically if you miss an opportunity like this, the chance is gone. But Pesach Sheni is a second chance. 

Moshe gives his father in law a second chance – the ability to join the Jewish people. His ultimate decision is not clear in the Torah, but the descendants of Yisro were later gifted an area of land in Israel near Yericho. Which goes to show that no matter what choice he made as to how to live the rest of his life, we know where that choice inevitably led for his future generations. 

The Chizkuni tells us that the people consumed by a fire after the complaints at the beginning of Chapter 11 were the elders who, along with Nadav and Avihu, saw God in Shmot Chapter 24 and did not die. י) וַיִּרְא֕וּ אֵ֖ת אֱ-לֹק֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל – the Torah told us. And despite that offense, for one may not see God and live,וְאֶל־אֲצִילֵי֙ בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל לֹ֥א שָׁלַ֖ח יָד֑וֹ וַֽיֶּחֱזוּ֙ אֶת־הָ֣אֱ-לֹק֔ים וַיֹּאכְל֖וּ וַיִּשְׁתּֽוּ: 

It’s incredible to consider that they had a second chance. Would Nadav and Avihu have died at the dedication of the Mishkan had they not brought the strange fire and committed the offenses the Rabbis heap upon them? Would these leaders in our parsha have died now had they not been complaining so heavily? It is not ridiculous to suggest that they blew their second chance – less than a year after their original offense was pardoned. 

Moshe gets a second chance! He tells God all the complaining, he doesn’t see how the people could descend to such trivialities after all they’ve been through – and he asks God to end his life! I’m done! Not interested in going on! But what about the Land? Isn’t that your goal, Moshe Rabbenu, to see the Land God has promised to the forefathers, the place to which you are bringing your people? You’re ready to give up now? 

And God tells Moshe, don’t give up. We’ll figure it out. The worst offenders will be removed from the situation. All the legitimate concerns will be addressed. And you will be able to focus your attention on being a shepherd for these people. We know Moshe does not get to enter the land. There are many ways to look at that story. But at least right now he has a second chance – to live out the rest of his life and possibly get to the promised land, rather than to give up and die because it seems to be too hard right now. 

Eldad and Meidad prophesy in the camp. Yehoshua wants them imprisoned. Moshe says Let it Go. And they have a second chance. Medrash Tanchuma even suggests they got to enter the Land, while the rest of the elders did not enter the land. 

And finally, at the very end of the parsha, when the tale of Miriam speaking ill of Moshe comes out, we see two more examples of people who had a second chance. Contrary to Rashi’s explanation, not everyone agrees that the Cushite woman Miriam speaks of refers to Tzipporah. It may be speaking of an earlier incident in Moshe’s life, which suggests Moshe too had a second chance with marriage and a family. We don’t typically look to Moshe for how-to-raise-a-family advice, but he too may have had an earlier stab at a union, which did not last. 

Miriam also had a second chance. One could only imagine what would happen today if a leader of Miriam’s status would come down with Tzaraat. How often is someone disgraced on account of a regrettable deed – only to never really be able to return to their status or position? 

And yet the people wait for Miriam, she is embraced and loved once again, despite her failings. 

Perhaps the idea of second chance boils down to what caused the first chance to end or to fail. Of course, something ending is never meant to be assumed to have been a failure. However, embracing the second chance that follows and running with it could demonstrate what success really is, and what learning lessons and growing from mistakes is all about. Or - what a blessing it is to have a new lease on life. 

We can all give countless examples of setbacks that people experience in life. We can look at most tragic events which led to new realities, such as post-Holocaust, post 9/11, post-terror attacks. Who knows what will come in the aftermath of the current epidemic and lockdown? Maybe people will explore and embrace new opportunities in employment, in how to raise their family, in life choices they will make. Many terrible, tragic, difficult experiences were followed with new leases on life being found. Happiness was found in the heap of sadness and loss. And hopefully we all have our share of inspirational stories that can fill a book. 

In some cases, the miracle of a second chance has to drive the lesson home to all of us. How often do we see what was almost a car crash? Do we see someone who miraculously survived some calamity that could have gone the other way? Do they or we recognize how lucky we are – how important the message from God is – I’ve got My eye on you! Take heed! Make better and stronger choices. Improve! Reach and go ABOVE your potential! 

If we are blessed to see the second (or third or fourth) chances when they come, we should be blessed to capitalize on our opportunities of advancement and growth, to help us improve our relationship with God, and to make our lives, at every stage we are blessed to reach, truly meaningful.

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